- Joined
- Aug 16, 2012
- Messages
- 1,394
Imagine Freddy Pharkas, if it were made by LucasArts in 1989. Imagine Monkey Island, only less clever. Imagine: a game without anybody -- anybody -- to tell Josh Mandel to cut back on the fart jokes.
Haven't you ever wondered what would have happened if you could take Freddy Pharkas, remove Al Lowe's "lesbians eat out a lot" shit, stick it into a 1990 LucasArts cookie mold and get pure Josh Mandel magic? Yes, and that always sounded amazing, said one of you. Or it might have been my echo. Yes, that sounds like it might involve farting, said another. Possibly also me.
I couldn't come up with a single post on the entire site about this game. But dammit, It Is Good.
It has a massive inventory. It has lots of items. It has verbs out the ass. Lots of ass in this game. It has more stolen jokes than you can count. And yes, it even has puzzles.
Almost every joke, every puzzle, every character, every scene will make you stop and think: haven't I seen something like this... before? Every second screams nosalgia, and after 3600 seconds in, you'll really start to feel like the game is already over, because it is. But you'll also start to feel like you're playing one of the classics -- an overlooked LucasArts game made by some unfortunate forgotten short guy in the corner, his cowlick sticking up in the valley created between Ron Gilbert and Tim Schafer's guts. Yes, in the valley: this is like LucasArts's Gold Rush, like the kind of classic you didn't even know your favourite company had made. The reason it feels so familiar and so damn authentic is that, for the most part, every little stinking (lol) bit of it is something you have actually played in another game already. But God it feels so good.
It's no Heroine's Quest or Wadjet Eye game, but those are too serious for their own good anyway. The only drawback is that it needs more music. The sick midi track you hear in the Steam video is so sick it's the only song in the game. It beat all the other songs into submission so they didn't dare even leave their little one-screen interiors. Yeah, there are other songs too, but there needs to be a bit more music. A couple of good tracks are wasted on rooms you'll literally only be in for a minute or so. Also, in a really bizarre decision, too many scenes have either no music or just the sound of a wind blowing over a desolate plain. This includes, unfortunately, the start menu. I have no idea why they thought that would be a good idea, and it really jars with the general atmosphere of the game. "Welcome to a funny game! It'll make you feel like your heart is as empty and barren as this wasteland!"
Other flaws include the fact that the game is published by a sex offender. Ok, ok, Replay Games i.e. Paul Trowe is bad for the world and we all want him to wind up sucking hairy Larrys in an alleyway while reflecting with sincere remorse on the mean person that he is. But all the dumbass did was publish the game. It was designed, instead, by Paavo Härkönen, who despite being a bro has 26 followers on Twitter. It was codesigned by Josh Mandel, who I thought everybody liked, but apparently not. Josh Mandel designed Freddy Pharkas, Space Quest 6, and Callahan's Crosstime Salloon, in addition to being the voice of King Graham (and acted as Leon the Coroner in Police Quest 3, TMYK), in addition to -- and I did not know this -- writing for Jagged Alliance 2.
Literally one of my favourite vidya game people. And I don't care how many little girls his publisher showed amateur gay blowjob vids to, he will go on being one of my favourite vidya game people.
Anyway, the game is, for the next 24 hours only, 50% off at Indie Royale for $5: http://www.indiegamebundles.com/daily-royale-fester-mudd-curse-of-the-gold-episode-1/ . I know I made it seem in the title like only sex offenders get 50% off, but you guys can still do lots of cool things like run for office and be catty on Twitter.
Otherwise: http://store.steampowered.com/app/253310/
TLDR: 7/10
"Better than Primordia."
Haven't you ever wondered what would have happened if you could take Freddy Pharkas, remove Al Lowe's "lesbians eat out a lot" shit, stick it into a 1990 LucasArts cookie mold and get pure Josh Mandel magic? Yes, and that always sounded amazing, said one of you. Or it might have been my echo. Yes, that sounds like it might involve farting, said another. Possibly also me.
I couldn't come up with a single post on the entire site about this game. But dammit, It Is Good.
It has a massive inventory. It has lots of items. It has verbs out the ass. Lots of ass in this game. It has more stolen jokes than you can count. And yes, it even has puzzles.
Almost every joke, every puzzle, every character, every scene will make you stop and think: haven't I seen something like this... before? Every second screams nosalgia, and after 3600 seconds in, you'll really start to feel like the game is already over, because it is. But you'll also start to feel like you're playing one of the classics -- an overlooked LucasArts game made by some unfortunate forgotten short guy in the corner, his cowlick sticking up in the valley created between Ron Gilbert and Tim Schafer's guts. Yes, in the valley: this is like LucasArts's Gold Rush, like the kind of classic you didn't even know your favourite company had made. The reason it feels so familiar and so damn authentic is that, for the most part, every little stinking (lol) bit of it is something you have actually played in another game already. But God it feels so good.
It's no Heroine's Quest or Wadjet Eye game, but those are too serious for their own good anyway. The only drawback is that it needs more music. The sick midi track you hear in the Steam video is so sick it's the only song in the game. It beat all the other songs into submission so they didn't dare even leave their little one-screen interiors. Yeah, there are other songs too, but there needs to be a bit more music. A couple of good tracks are wasted on rooms you'll literally only be in for a minute or so. Also, in a really bizarre decision, too many scenes have either no music or just the sound of a wind blowing over a desolate plain. This includes, unfortunately, the start menu. I have no idea why they thought that would be a good idea, and it really jars with the general atmosphere of the game. "Welcome to a funny game! It'll make you feel like your heart is as empty and barren as this wasteland!"
Other flaws include the fact that the game is published by a sex offender. Ok, ok, Replay Games i.e. Paul Trowe is bad for the world and we all want him to wind up sucking hairy Larrys in an alleyway while reflecting with sincere remorse on the mean person that he is. But all the dumbass did was publish the game. It was designed, instead, by Paavo Härkönen, who despite being a bro has 26 followers on Twitter. It was codesigned by Josh Mandel, who I thought everybody liked, but apparently not. Josh Mandel designed Freddy Pharkas, Space Quest 6, and Callahan's Crosstime Salloon, in addition to being the voice of King Graham (and acted as Leon the Coroner in Police Quest 3, TMYK), in addition to -- and I did not know this -- writing for Jagged Alliance 2.
Literally one of my favourite vidya game people. And I don't care how many little girls his publisher showed amateur gay blowjob vids to, he will go on being one of my favourite vidya game people.
Anyway, the game is, for the next 24 hours only, 50% off at Indie Royale for $5: http://www.indiegamebundles.com/daily-royale-fester-mudd-curse-of-the-gold-episode-1/ . I know I made it seem in the title like only sex offenders get 50% off, but you guys can still do lots of cool things like run for office and be catty on Twitter.
Otherwise: http://store.steampowered.com/app/253310/
TLDR: 7/10
"Better than Primordia."
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