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Help a Nigga Out

Barrow_Bug

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So, I'm in that weird place 'between' games. Still yet to finish NV (loving it, but I kinda don't want it to end) and I'm looking for something to play that isn't shit. Was waiting on DX:HR but now that's pushed back again, and I have to tell you guys something:

I really, really don't want to play something where I shoot stuff. Hit it with a sword, choke it with my cock- whatever. But lesser on the gunplay. It could be a game or RPG, that's fine too.

In B4 Let me Google that for you and 'Have you heard DA2 is out?'. I didn't play DA:O and there is no fucking way I am playing that hunk of crap. Also, something for sexbawx, plz...
 

Grunker

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Barrow_Bug said:
Also, something for sexbawx, plz...

Stopped reading right there.

'cause it's, y'know, the last sentence... Seriously, can't help out with games to the shitbox. Ask when you want to play god damn PC.
 

Vaarna_Aarne

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Have you played Prototype? It certainly delivers on the superpowered action department.
 

Barrow_Bug

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Whilst I do appreciate how very Monacle you are Good Sir. I thought it best not to confuse the situation.

That, and my rig is too old and shit to run The Twitcher 2: ASSassins of Trannies or whatevs.
 

Grunker

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Barrow_Bug said:
Whilst I do appreciate how very Monacle you are Good Sir. I thought it best not to confuse the situation.

That, and my rig is too old and shit to run The Twitcher 2: ASSassins of Trannies or whatevs.

'cause you used your money on a fagbawx, amirite? :smug:

To save you from Prototype-shittyness however: Have you played Batman: Arkham Asylum? And does it run on the crapturd? If so, you should really give it a go :D
 

Barrow_Bug

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Grunker said:
Barrow_Bug said:
Whilst I do appreciate how very Monacle you are Good Sir. I thought it best not to confuse the situation.

That, and my rig is too old and shit to run The Twitcher 2: ASSassins of Trannies or whatevs.

'cause you used your money on a fagbawx, amirite? :smug:

To save you from Prototype-shittyness however: Have you played Batman: Arkham Asylum? And does it run on the crapturd? If so, you should really give it a go :D

Ahh, now I have been hearing good things about Batman: AA. How is the story/pacing. I'm a storywhore, you see. The very worst kind.

@Vaarna thanks for the reccomend, though Prototype doesn't look all that interesting. Is it any good?
 
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The White Chamber
Amnesia
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Bad Mojo
Jedi Academy - The lightsaber action isn't like your typical swordplay, it's more about doing fancy jumps and backflips etc
The Longest Journey
Dreamweb
 

Grunker

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Barrow_Bug said:
Grunker said:
Barrow_Bug said:
Whilst I do appreciate how very Monacle you are Good Sir. I thought it best not to confuse the situation.

That, and my rig is too old and shit to run The Twitcher 2: ASSassins of Trannies or whatevs.

'cause you used your money on a fagbawx, amirite? :smug:

To save you from Prototype-shittyness however: Have you played Batman: Arkham Asylum? And does it run on the crapturd? If so, you should really give it a go :D

Ahh, now I have been hearing good things about Batman: AA. How is the story/pacing. I'm a storywhore, you see. The very worst kind.

Well, I'll say it like this: there are few bigger storywhores than me. Batman: AA tells a mediocre comic-hero story, albeit with very cinematic effects, but it doesn't matter. The gameplay is simply so well-paced and entertaining.

I second Satori's suggestions by the way. Jedi Academy is awesome, and should be playable on any rig. I think Steam has it for next to nothing.
 

desocupado

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Grunker said:
Barrow_Bug said:
Whilst I do appreciate how very Monacle you are Good Sir. I thought it best not to confuse the situation.

That, and my rig is too old and shit to run The Twitcher 2: ASSassins of Trannies or whatevs.

'cause you used your money on a fagbawx, amirite? :smug:

To save you from Prototype-shittyness however: Have you played Batman: Arkham Asylum? And does it run on the crapturd? If so, you should really give it a go :D

"fagbawx"? MY GOD, SO MUCH EDGYNESS!

Really, no one should ever own an xbox, no games on it are any good.

Because that Arkham Asylum isn't a crappy console port. No sir!
 

Vaarna_Aarne

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Barrow_Bug said:
@Vaarna thanks for the reccomend, though Prototype doesn't look all that interesting. Is it any good?
Prototype suffers from having a relatively good plot on paper, with heavy Alan Moore's Swamp Thing references and inspirations, but brought down by very sloppy execution and too much separation between story and gameplay. I mean, look at the ideas they were bringing to the table:

1) The most important element of the story is that the Alex Mercer you play as is not Alex Mercer at all, or even human. He's a sentient new being born out of the virus released just hours before the game starts.

2) However, it doesn't end there. The dead guy who you thought you were was actually the closest thing the story has to a main villain behind it all, and he was by far the worst of the many downright evil people in the story.

3) The important Alan Moore's Swamp Thing element here is that despite being not human at all, Alex Mercer/Blacklight develops heroic and noble qualities as the story progresses, and ends up becoming something of a superhero.

They even tried to include a version of Alan Moore's brilliant "you can't kill a plant by shooting it in the head" moment in the game.

However, where they fucked up was that they separated story and gameplay entirely, with there being no repercussions of the player causing massive collateral damage when the story wants us to see that in the end Mercer/Blacklight is the only party present out to save Manhattan, taking on both the government black ops forces and the other viral spawns. I'm not talking about a "no killing" rule here, but rather that there would be a reason or effort put into avoiding civilian casualties.

Then they fucked up in presenting the story they had planned out, with their execution of it being a disjointed collection of loosely connected scenes where no character is given enough time and important plot threads are forgotten left and right. They try to incorporate a mystery element to the plot, and while the memory flashes you can absorb from specific random people are relatively well done, they end up leaving too much hanging into optional content and the mystery, resulting in an end result of "don't show, don't tell" all over the place.


But, the game still possesses a very well executed follow-up gameplay of the previous game of the developers. It succeeds admirably in creating the image of an immensively powerful super-powered being, and a veritable war raging around you (consoles apparently can have hundreds of combatants duking it out simultaneously, most devs just suck at making it a reality). They also throw in just enough variation in enemies to keep things interesting, so it doesn't suffer from "everyone enemy is the same" effect that plagued inFAMOUS.

Overall, it's still a fun superpower game even with all its flaws. I don't regret buying it and keeping it.
 

Grunker

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Almost forgot; Barrow_Bug, you should go play Saint's Row 2. Now, please.

desocupado said:
Grunker said:
Barrow_Bug said:
Whilst I do appreciate how very Monacle you are Good Sir. I thought it best not to confuse the situation.

That, and my rig is too old and shit to run The Twitcher 2: ASSassins of Trannies or whatevs.

'cause you used your money on a fagbawx, amirite? :smug:

To save you from Prototype-shittyness however: Have you played Batman: Arkham Asylum? And does it run on the crapturd? If so, you should really give it a go :D

"fagbawx"? MY GOD, SO MUCH EDGYNESS!

Really, no one should ever own an xbox, no games on it are any good.

Because that Arkham Asylum isn't a crappy console port. No sir!

Yes, I think consoles are a rip-off that hurts the gaming market by forcing developers to spend time and energy on making games compatible with non-compatible mediums. What the fuck is edgy about that?

I hope the butthurt induced wasn't just a result of the fact that I said fagbawx instead of xbox, 'cause surely you're not retarded enough to put any meaning in that?

Oh, and Arkham Asylum controls fine on the PC. I had no problems with it. So the 'crappy' in your sentence is on your own account.
 

desocupado

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Grunker said:
Almost forgot; Barrow_Bug, you should go play Saint's Row 2. Now, please.

desocupado said:
Grunker said:
Barrow_Bug said:
Whilst I do appreciate how very Monacle you are Good Sir. I thought it best not to confuse the situation.

That, and my rig is too old and shit to run The Twitcher 2: ASSassins of Trannies or whatevs.

'cause you used your money on a fagbawx, amirite? :smug:

To save you from Prototype-shittyness however: Have you played Batman: Arkham Asylum? And does it run on the crapturd? If so, you should really give it a go :D

"fagbawx"? MY GOD, SO MUCH EDGYNESS!

Really, no one should ever own an xbox, no games on it are any good.

Because that Arkham Asylum isn't a crappy console port. No sir!

Yes, I think consoles are a rip-off that hurts the gaming market by forcing developers to spend time and energy on making games compatible with non-compatible mediums. What the fuck is edgy about that?

I hope the butthurt induced wasn't just a result of the fact that I said fagbawx instead of xbox, 'cause surely you're not retarded enough to put any meaning in that?

Oh, and Arkham Asylum controls fine on the PC. I had no problems with it. So the 'crappy' in your sentence is on your own account.

Non-compatible mediums? I thought it was easier to develop for a console, since you don't have to worry about shittones of different hardware combinations?
 

Grunker

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Nevermind that the existence of three major different console environments as well as the PC along with the extremely limited control-scheme of a console... Bleh, this debate has been discussed to death on the interwebs, read a summirization of both sides to find my arguments of on one of them.

Discussing Console vs. PC on the internet is like discussing the definition of an RPG on the Codex except the arguments are less arbitrary.
 

Barrow_Bug

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Some good advice, some durp advice. Saint's Row? Really Grunker? I'm far too Monacle for that.

Is it bad that I'm growing to hate Fantasy as a setting unless it is GrimDark? I mean Twitcher is all that I can stand. Everything else looks retarded. And a part of me kinda wants to play a fantasy game, but Christ it's all so horribly written!
 

BLOBERT

FUCKING SLAYINGN IT BROS
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BROS HERE IS A NONPOPAMILE FAGBOX SELECTION

FOR FAGBOX ARCADE

DISHWASHER DEAD SAMURAI[/b
SPECIAL ATTENTION HEAR BROS 2D BEATUMUP WITH LARGE MOVESET BROS DO NOT GIVE IT ENOUGH LOVE COOL ART STYLE TOO

SHADOW COMPLEX
YEAH YOU SHOOT THINGS BUT IT IS AN HD METROID TYPE AND NOT AS GOOD BUT CLOSE ENOUGH

DEAD RISING 2 MINISHIT
GOOD FUN FUCKING UP ZOMBIES

BARGAIN BIN FAGBOX

BAYONETTA
AWESOME BEATUP SHIT GET IT BRO

CONDEMNED OR CONDEMEND 2
FIRST PERSON BEATUMUP SERIOUSLY IF YOU HAVE FANATSIZED ABOUT BEATING HOMELESS PEOPLE TO DEATH THIS IS YOUR GAME LIMITED GUNPLAY

DEAD RISING
YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD OF THIS ALREADY

VIVA PINATA
FUCK ALL YOU HATERS IT IS LIKE SIMCITY BUT WITH A LITTLE GARDEN OF LITTLE CUTES ASS ANIMALS LOLOLLOL I AM SECURE ENOUGH IN MY MANLINESS TO RECOMMEND THIS

NINJA GAIDEN 2
LIKE BAYONETTA BUT YOYU ARE A NINJA
 

BLOBERT

FUCKING SLAYINGN IT BROS
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BROS ALSO CONSOLES TOTALLY RUINED THE GAMING MARKET

PC GAMING WAS THRIVING AND THEN ATARI AND INTELLIVISION AND COLECOVISION CAME AND RUINED IT AND THEN THEY INVENTED ARCADE MACHINES PC WAS ON ULTIMA 4 WHEN PONG THENASTEROIDS THEN OTHER SHIT CAME OUT AND RUINED IT

COMMODORE TRIED TO BE ALL POPAMOLE WITH COLORS AND SHIT BUIT IT WAS BASICALLY A CONSOLE WITH A KEYBOARD
 

7hm

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Barrow_Bug said:
Some good advice, some durp advice. Saint's Row? Really Grunker? I'm far too Monacle for that.

Is it bad that I'm growing to hate Fantasy as a setting unless it is GrimDark? I mean Twitcher is all that I can stand. Everything else looks retarded. And a part of me kinda wants to play a fantasy game, but Christ it's all so horribly written!

Saint's Row is awesome.

It's GTA with a sense of humour.
 
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Get Ninja Gaiden Black off the marketplace, or go buy a hard copy. Best action game ever, no questions.

Failing that, Ninja Gaiden 2, Catlevania: Lords of Shadow and Bayonetta are fun as well.

Don't expect good writing though, just expect some solid gameplay.
 

Barrow_Bug

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Nice. What happened to the TRUE BRO's post? I was gonna ask about Condemned...tbh, I might be terrified of it. I'll have to man up to play it (get drunk).

I was wondering about Lords of Shadow. Can't bring myself to play Saint's Row, I'm too much of a Rockstar chump. Plus, if I want another 'Drive places, do stuff' game, I can wait for LA Noire. Like the Rockstar Chump, that I am.
 

Grunker

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Besides Vice City, no GTA comes even close to Saint's Row 2. If you're too monocle to play Saint's Row 2, are you also too monocle to play Duke Nukem or somesuch?

You are robbing yourself of fun, my friend :)
 

Barrow_Bug

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Hmmm, you do make a good argument. I might have to look into it now. What about Mafia 2? Was that shit?
 

BLOBERT

FUCKING SLAYINGN IT BROS
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BRO MY POST IS STILL THERE

I SECOND SAINTS ROW OR SAINTS ROW 2 RANDOM FUN

ALTHOUGH IF YOU ARE GOING FOR SHOOTING SHIT MAYBE JUST CAUSE 2 CAUSE IT IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT

OR RED FACTIOND GORILLA ALL THE SAME SHIT SAINTS ROW HAS THE MOST HUMOR AND GOOD SOUNDTRACK AND VARIED OVER THE TOP GAMEPLAY AND RED FACTION HAS THE DESTRUCTIBLE BUILDINGS AND JUST CAUSE 2 HAS THE WHOLE PARACHUT SKIDIVING AND BIGGER EXPLOSIONS THING
 

Vaarna_Aarne

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Edward_R_Murrow said:
Get Ninja Gaiden Black off the marketplace, or go buy a hard copy. Best action game ever, no questions.
Isn't Ninja Gaiden Black the one with New Game+? I remember when I played through Sigma and gathered all of those fucking Scarabs and spent a shitload of effort powering up weapons and learning moves, and THEN I learn there is no New Game+ option (which would have been a necessity, since Plasma Sword and others are clearly intended for it, considering how overwhelming True Dragon Sword is).
 

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