The next day...
The snap of my mobile phone's closing contrasts with the ambient chatter and noise audible even in the hallway outside the library. It's the first day of summer holidays. A time that had perpetually seemed so far away, and yet it's now not only here but also made painfully obvious by the students, or lack thereof, left in the school. Most students have returned home to spend the holidays with relatives by now. The few that are left are mostly chatting between themselves, usually about what they intend to do in the coming weeks. It makes me feel like the odd one out, for taking advantage of the school library being open for the first several days of the holidays.
Ostensibly it's for the students to drop off any books they've borrowed and have yet to return, and for those who'll have their parents pick them up, to help pass the time until they get whisked away. Thanks to the recent lengthy phone call from my parents, which had so rudely woken me from my sleeping on a beanbag at the back of the library, I'm now in the latter category. Sliding my phone back into my pocket, this time remembering to set it to silent, I go back into the quiet and wholly placid room.
Hanako especially has been noticeably more quiet than usual since yesterday's happenings, but I can't really blame her. It wasn't just me that depended on that person, after all. I quietly walk back to the beanbag near her where I'd sat before, being doubly careful not to make any unnecessary noise. The soft puff it gives as the bag takes my weight makes Hanako's eyes flick towards me, but only for a second. I get the feeling that Hanako's been quiet only partly out of sadness following Lilly's departure. Rather, she seems more thoughtful and measured than I'd expected; perhaps due to her desire of working out how to deal with Lilly's leaving rather than just being depressed over it. It makes me a little proud of her.
Hey, Hanako?
Y-yeah?
ED: Wanna fuck?
Still going ahead with your idea of traveling?
She gives a determined nod.
I'll be starting in a day or two. Naomi's decided to come with me, too.
Wow, quick start. Where're you two headed to first?
I think we're going to start by going north...then loop down and go southward.
So...Hokkaido first?
ED: *winces*
She gives another nod, more tentative than the last. The significance for that place is not lost on either of us.
Do you know how you're going to handle the travelling expenses and accomodations?
ED: Gawd, man. She's 18. Fuck's sake.
Yeah, I've worked everything out. I think it should be okay. Naomi says she has her side worked out, too.
You know that if you need anything you can just call, right? I gave you my number before. Any time of the day is fine.
ED: This is getting desperate.
She gives a smile, which in itself feels like a small personal victory.
I know. Th-thanks...Hisao.
ED: Hey, I'm happy for you Lil' Bacon.
Maybe Lilly was right. Although I may offer Hanako any help I can possibly give, I feel as if I know she doesn't need it. She really has grown.
Um...excuse me..
The two of us look up at the awkwardly fidgeting figure in front of us. Some things never change.
It's getting close to closing time, so um...
Oh, right. I'd forgotten that the library closes earlier during the holidays. Hanako and I both get up and dust ourselves off, placing our books back on the shelf behind us. The fact that our tastes in reading material have a fair amount of overlap is useful at times.
ED: Maybe both of you should hook up. Just saying.
With a bow to Yuuko to apologize for taking so much time, Hanako takes her leave of us.
See you tomorrow, Hisao.
Bye.
And with that, she walks out of the library.
She's a quiet person, isn't she?
I suppose I should be surprised at a staff member sharing personal opinions like this, but after knowing Yuuko for a while it's largely expected. Our relationship is more personal, rather than one with her acting as an authority figure.
Yeah, I think that's just how she is. She's got a lot more confidence in herself these days, though.
I don't know her as well as you do, but I think I agree. It's nice to see her talking to people here; she never used to to that before.
Hey, Yuuko... you know about Lilly's leaving, right?
She told me herself a few days ago. It must be hard, leaving everyone behind like she is.
She quickly looks back to me after she says this, probably remembering that I went to her for advice on the relationship between Lilly and I before.
Are you going to be okay?
ED: Eh, a little depressed, but I'm sure some nice, cheerful LPs will fix me right up. Could use something manly and full of killings to balance the emotional engagements.
That's... a difficult question. It's something I'd rather not think about it now, though, given more pressing issues.
Something seems kind of off about this whole deal, don't you think?
ED: No shit, Sherlock. You let her go. What if you had objected?
Yuuko appears to think for a while, absent-mindedly scrunching her face up in a variety of creative ways as she does so.
I don't think I really know her well enough to make that kind of judgement. I'm sorry I can't be more help.
Nah, that's fine. I'm just sort of thinking aloud.
I give a deep sigh and scratch my head in frustration.
There's just so much stuff happening at once that I have no control over...it feels like I'm being swamped.
I think everyone goes through times like that. What's important is to concentrate on what you can do, rather than what you can't do. At least, that's how I see it. if I didn't think like that, I don't think I'd be able to manage my life as it is.
ED: Sound advice.
She says it with a smile and a light tone, but her words are far from any kind of joke. Being pulled between two jobs as she is, just to hopefully make enough money not only to live, but also for university, must be exhausting. Perhaps that's why, coming from her, this feels like it has more meaning than if it had come from most others.
I guess you've got a point there. Thank you for your advice once again, Yuuko.
She bows deeply and smiles again, before making her way back to the counter where she spends so much of her time.
Later that evening...
The tiny wings of the cardboard crane in my fingers are only just visible in the dim light of my room, just a little of the moonlight being able to peek through the curtains and around their edges.
ED:
It feels like a lot's happened since Lilly folded this, but at the same time it feels like very little has changed. Compared to everyone else, I'm back to square one. I might have a new-found idea of where I want to go in life, but that's hardly something that affects me now. Hanako changed, I know that much. If anything, she just makes me feel I've got no excuse to be like this, considering her previous situation. Lilly, though...
I turn the bird in my fingers another way, looking at it from yet another angle.
Music:
Rogue Spear
ED: It's too late man...
ED: ..what are you going to do?
With an increasingly angry feeling washing over me, I turn over and set the crane back on the desk next to my clock, the place where it has lived since that day when she folded it for me. Since that day when she herself said that my burdens need not be my own. The obnoxious bright red numerals on my alarm clock shine through the darkness of the room onto my tired eyes.
ED: Oh ...for fuck's sake.
Ten o'clock. Evening. Curfew will be soon.
I wonder...
Akira mentioned they'd be leaving this evening. I've no idea exactly when their flight is... but that means there's still a chance, however small, that they might not have already left. Adrenaline starts to move through my body as I sit up on my bed, my eyes suddenly wide with possibility.
ED: NO YOU STAY THE FUCK DOWN. THERE'S BEEN ENOUGH BRAIN DAMAGE INFLICTED.
There's no guarantee they haven't left, indeed it's likely that they already have, but there's also a chance they haven't, however small it may be.
ED: Wait a minute, there's also a chance you won't make it in time, tiring yourself over nothing, wallowing in despair and suffer a final, life-ending heart attack in the process. Count me in. Let's go with a bang!
Just this one, just as I should have before...
*CLICK*
I stand up and rush over to my cabinet, throwing out some clothes as fast as I can and sliding them on in quick succession. Each second that goes by is a second I can't regain, a second that may mean the difference between catching them and osing them forever. Even if I fail, I have to try. I can't let her leave everything behind without even trying to stop her. Without, just this once, being there for her. With the last of my clothes on, I hastily grab the phone off the desk. Luckily the number for a local taxi company is still in my call history.
Next Update's gonna take a while, I'm heading out. It's Saturday.
It's been an honor.