Completed Let's Larp the Court of King Vale clumsily preparing a royal summit in Fit To Be A King

[Major_Blackhart]

Explore the village. Find whomever insults you the most and take note. Tell the executioner to sharpen his axe.

 

[Helly]

My axe is *always* ready.

 

[vazha]

The relatively free folk of Kodexia demand teh updatan, Majesteh!

 

[Andnjord]

Fair Kodexia is the freest of nations! The people can rest easily at night knowing that their foreign policy, domestic spending and judicial system is being handled by men and women of the highest order who only have their best interest at heart. They know that lies and slander are ruthlessly hunted down so that only Truth will ever reach their ears, thus freeing them from the doubts and suspicions that afflict the other lesser nations. Like that Town Crier, who is obviously in the employ of the nefarious king Blackenmore and will surely be (J)ailed forthwith. This leaves them free to focus on a productive, harmonious life, dedicated to goodness and godliness.

Only a dark shadow has afflicted the crypt of the capital, a darkness that ululates its demonic name at night, the demon-ghost V_K. But all good-natured men of the realm are working in harmony to banish its nefarious presence.

Also, we should buy the monkey costumes, this will make the tailors richer and their increased income will naturaly trickle down to the other classes, thus redistributing naturaly the wealth of the Kingdom for the betterment of all.

Hail King Vale the Fifth! Hail His Divine wisdom and benevolence!

 

[Andnjord]

Blessede Azira , if thou perchance wouldst supporte knyghtynge of the courte jestere, he couldst be inclynede to supporte the religyouse reforme.

Noble Jester, it is of primordial importance that the Church be (R)eformed. Thus I will support your nomination to being (K)nighted if you were to support the sanitising reform of the Chruch, for is it not known that jesters are the voice of reason masqueraded as comedy?

 

[ValeVelKal]

This is updating too fast, I lost an entire round of voting

*clears throat*

And so, Queen Volourn passes into eternal glory. She won't be missed. Pope's feet that's a lot of money from the dowry, maybe we could.... didn't the Sultan say something if we martyr his daughter, though? But the idea of a dowry processing system is indeed attractive.

I think the Sultan mentionned war.

Apart from that, I updated the voting situation in #182. Not sure if I can do the turn today.

 

[Dayyālu]

Dear mondblut , I will support your Knighthood if you oppose the debasement of the Faith and the [r]reform! Do not heed the counsel of JESTERS! Dressed in red, satanic in appearance!

I think the Sultan mentionned war.

Yeh, I remember that. Pity.

That said, I was doing some reading on the Summit. I didn't know that some of the weirdest pieces of this game are historically accurate.

My king, there's any way for you.... to get buff? It may be essential in the future.

 

[V_K]

I find it suspicious that known heathens vazha and Andnjord insist on getting monkey costumes. They're probably planning some sort of satanic ritual with them. Like summoning beastly imps from the nether regions of hell and have them masquerade as costumed monkeys to spread taint and mischief.
Besides, those money would be better spent on cats.

 

[ValeVelKal]

Dear mondblut , I will support your Knighthood if you oppose the debasement of the Faith and the [r]reform! Do not heed the counsel of JESTERS! Dressed in red, satanic in appearance!

I think the Sultan mentionned war.

Yeh, I remember that. Pity.

That said, I was doing some reading on the Summit. I didn't know that some of the weirdest pieces of this game are historically accurate.

My king, there's any way for you.... to get buff? It may be essential in the future.

Yeah, I read that. That's not not-Grenada, that's not-Ottoman Empire.

Also, the monkeys HAD the cute golden costumes, so we definitely need to invest there.

 

[vazha]

I find it suspicious that known heathens vazha and Andnjord insist on getting monkey costumes. They're probably planning some sort of satanic ritual with them. Like summoning beastly imps from the nether regions of hell and have them masquerade as costumed monkeys to spread taint and mischief.
Besides, those money would be better spent on cats.

We've been xposed! Andnjord release the hellhounds!

also, :coughs politely:, that would be Granada, not Grenada, if we are talking about Moors & Southern Spain. Grenada is a commonwealth nation in Caribbean.

 

[ValeVelKal]

I find it suspicious that known heathens vazha and Andnjord insist on getting monkey costumes. They're probably planning some sort of satanic ritual with them. Like summoning beastly imps from the nether regions of hell and have them masquerade as costumed monkeys to spread taint and mischief.
Besides, those money would be better spent on cats.

We've been xposed! Andnjord release the hellhounds!

also, :coughs politely:, that would be Granada, not Grenada, if we are talking about Moors & Southern Spain. Grenada is a commonwealth nation in Caribbean.

Ah you are right. Both are Grenade in French.
Still not sure what a mews is .

 

[vazha]

That one is a mystery that I am loath to google , ask the oracle about, my liege.

 

[mondblut]

Dear mondblut , I will support your Knighthood if you oppose the debasement of the Faith and the [r]reform! Do not heed the counsel of JESTERS! Dressed in red, satanic in appearance!

*cough* Deare Dayyālu , I am the jestere. But I couldst ignoure this faux pas - 'tis not lyke I remembre vvho thee art, for fucke's sake. Yet, 'tis thine voute againste Andnjorde's. My orijinale offere to Azira still standes.

 

[Andnjord]

mews

Ecurie turned into housing boss.

 

[mondblut]

Still not sure what a mews is .

I reckone he wast the talkatyve and somevvhat gaye halve of yon jestere duette, alonge with a sylente mann vvho vvente by the name Bobb.

 

[ValeVelKal]

Part IX : The insanely wealthy beggar of not-Britain

Finishing exploring the village

King Vale started the day with a visit to the village, the unvisited Eastern part.

But first thing I did before even visiting new places :

First new thing I found was the graveyard :

A gravedigger takes a break from digging.

<name> They call me Chaosdwarft. Or look at headstones for the names of the dead.

<job> I dig the graves your majesty

<graves> I dig the graves with my shovel!

<shovel> Sure, have my extra

Convenient ! Just what I needed !

<summit> I hope you don't make more graves!

<dead> Part of the job. Hope nobody digs up these poor souls.

Before digging around, I carried on my exploration and found an house with a pile of dung in front of it :

Getting inside, I saw a witch and a huge cauldron with which I did not find a way to interact :

If ye seek knowledge, King Vale, welcome

They call me Tigranes

Me really ? I haven't been active for a long while

Listen, you were the last character I had to staff. I thought of Licorice but checked my old Let's Play, and you did no less than TWO of them.

<job> I am a healer and prophetess

<knowledge> I can grant helpful visions for your quest

<vision> Aye, visions, with the help of the Lord. Perhaps you wish to know your progress.

<summit> The summit is your single minded obsession, is it not ?

<progress> Very well. I call upon thee, Satan, to aid Vale in his quest

Wait I cannot ! You see, you are not telling the Let's Play EXACTLY in the order you are playing it so now I have no idea what I should say

SSHHHHHH IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET !

Come on, you found the shovel 3 or 4 episodes ago !

I LOST EVERYTHING I WROTE, OK ! I WAS ONLY LEFT WITH THE SCREENSHOOTS ! It was painful enough as it was, especially losing the map and was not looking forward rewriting a full entry, so YES I split the content. Sue me. I was convinced I could nudge everyone in sending me to the village again to finish it. But then, they sent me in some foreign country, then underground then I realized I had to unlock the new characters. It is not like anyone noticed the inconsistent amount of gold between screenshoot.

Come back at the end of this session. I forecast that the threads of fate will join and you will not be hiding anything from your reader.


Finally, I find a last house I had not visited behind the inn :

Getting inside, there is a ladder to the roof...

... bringing behind the closed door in the inn !

A foreigner says : Ah, a ruler!? I must think of a gift

<name> I am the Deuce Traveller. It is a pleasure

<job> I make fireworks! When I am not traveling.

<fireworks> I wish I could give you my firework, but I do not have it here. If you visit my home country, come to my house!

<country> My home country is across the sea, north and west. I arrived on a boat!

<boat> I am sure there are a few in your kingdom

<gift> Firewords are a good gift for a ruler, no? Or cats

<cat> My sultan loves his cat more than anything

<house> My spinning wheel and the fireworks in my barrel are my prized possesssions.

<barrel> I keep my foreworks in my barrel, far from my spinning wheel.

<summit> I heard two rulers will meet in a field of cloth of old. So exotic.

<herring> We don't eat herring in my home country

And this closes the introduction to all the characters I could find, though I am pretty sure there will be some in the summit. Hopefully not too much more.

A frustrating bear

I went South of the inn, at the gate of the village :

A soldier says : Don't go out today, your Majesty. Too many bears

<bears> Aye, f they smell you they'll come running

<smell> Bears have a powerful sense of smell.

<job> I guard this gate and obey the Captain

I nudge the guard away and advance ...

... and everyone panics ...

and a bear appears. I tried to (A)ttack but quickly enough :

Thank goodness thou art with us again! We were all very worried over thy condition. Thou hast been unconscious for so long that we thought thou hadst lost thy life!

STOP !

It is most fortuna...

(E)xec...

OK I stop.

I will try again, this time with an horse !

Thank goodness thou art with...

Death stare

Anyway, this is clearly the end of the map.

Collecting with a ship and a shovel

Well, let's clean up this frustration by travelling abroad AGAIN !


I quickly found the house of Deuce Traveller :

... and after some exploration, found an odd-eyed cat (one green eye one blue eye) in a garden :

I yelled "Gold" next to it, as instructed by the Sultan :

... and the cat moved to some place south of the garden. I had to dig two holes but found the prize :

My adventure in not not-Granada-but-rather-not-Istanbul being over for the moment, I went to dig another treasure : the pirate one - 5 steps south of the blue flowers behind the sailor house :

I found 200 gold, not showed because I may or may not have dug some time before.

Finally, I digged ? dag ? in a third obvious place, at the cross on the eastern part of the moat :

Monkey costumes

I went back to my castle for something VERY important :


King Vale knew the very first thing he had to do !

TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT THE MONKEY COSTUMES !

<costumes> It would cost 1000 gold to sew the gold money costumes. Do you want them as much as I do

<yes> I'll get right to it your Majesty

I don't think Blakemore can top this !

LOOK AT HIM ! LOOK AT HIM WITH HIS COSTUMES ! LOOK AT THE JESTER TRYING TO COMPETE !

I used my presence in the castle to visit the town crier but clearly he did not get the memo :

Stinking investigation

Finally, I wanted to do one last thing. I disguised myself as a beggar and toured by Kingdom.

Few people recognized me : in total only Crispy and Major_Blackhart :

Peasants totally saw me as one of their own, and had a new conversation :

A serf says: Oy, beggar. D'you hear? Old Georgie finally died yesterday

<Georgie> Rest in peace, Georgie. At least his widow has the inn

<widow><inn> I'm glad Georgie's widow Maxie has the inn to run.

So Maxie is a woman ? I would never have guessed.

<Maxie>< After Georgie's death she's even more irritable than usual

<death> Death and taxes, that's what they say

I went to the prison, still disguised as a beggar :

I suppose you were a friend of Georgie's

<friend> If you were his friend, you'd know my Georgie's favorite animal

<animale> Too late to ask Georgie about it now, hmm?

On my way out, I realized I was going to have to take a decision about the beggar :

Anyway, back to the peasants :

Georgie ? Who know. You'd have to dig him up and ask him. Ha!


Welll, I leveled-up at digging, so I went to the graveyard and checked the tombstones :

That one was a surprise !

Found it !

Back to Maxie !

<Boar> A ! A true friend of Georgie's! Georgie loved their little snorts. He'd want you to have his savings -- it's in a refuse pile behind the inn. Claim it and be poor no more !

Well, I do love their little snorts, but you know what is better than boars ? Hunting badgers !

Anyway, I just don't want to describe the very last part !

Situation report

And so

<progress> Very well. I call upon thee, Satan, to aid Vale in his quest. 5 chests remain available to thee. 524 gold has yet to be plundered

So there are at least 2 100-gold chests, maybe more, in the Church. The 3 other chest represent between 150 and 300 golds but no idea where they could be.

I have 3 626 gold, with which I can buy :

- An angelic choir to Father Azira for 300,
- A suit of gold from Endemic the seamstress for 500
- Fountains of vine from Vatna the Vintner for 600
- Golden armors for the guard from Strange Fellow (once released) for 1000
- Destriers from Kalerion the Horse Master for 400
- Firebreather from Ol'Willy for 500

Said otherwise, I can buy EVERYTHING. Whatever we decide to buy, I will organize the Summit next turn.

Another final note : Valevelak went that far without (R)eforming, and loves his new wife very much : so he will NOT (R)eform !

 

[ValeVelKal]

Politics - decision taken at +7 (edited from +10). Up to #222
6 : Knight Mondblut : V_K(3), Mondblut (3)
6 : Jail the dog : Mondblut (3) + execute results (3)
3 : Execute Tindrli : Mondblut (3), Andnjord (3), Darth Roxxor (3), do not Execute Vazha(-3),Forgive Tindrli : Dayyalu (-3)
3 : Knight Darth Roxxor : V_K(3)
6. Knight the ghost : V_K(3), Ol'Wily (3)
1 : Execute Maxie [Confirmation] : Kalerion(3), Vazha(3), Major_Blackhart(1) do not execute Andjord (-3), forgive V_K(-3)
0: Execute the dog : V_K (3), Helly(3) but Vazha (-3)Azira(-3),.
0. Execute Vazha : V_K (3),but Azira(-3)
0. Execute Vazha : V_K (3),but Azira(-3) Rejected
-2 : Execute vs Strange Fellow [Confirmation]: Mondblut(3), V_K(+3),Major_Blackhart(1), Darth Roxxor(3) do not execute, Vazha(-3),Azira(-3) Forgive Kalerion (-3), Andnjord (-3)
-3 : Execute Azira : V_K (3) but Vazha(-3), Azira(-3),
-3 : Execute Andnjord : V_K (3) but Vazha(-3), Azira(-3),
-3 . Execute all dogs : V_K(3) but Vazha(-3) Azira(-3) :
-3 : Execute Kalerion : V_K(3) but Vazha(-3) Azira(-3) :
-3 : Knight Azira : Azira (3), do not Knight Dayyalu (-3), V_K(-3)
-6 : Execute Mondblut : do not execute Darth Roxxor (-3), Andjnord (-3)
-97 : Reform Religion : Azira (3), Andnjord(3) but Do not Reform : Dayyalu (-3), ValeVelkal (-100)

What should I buy for the summit ?
5 - Everything : Vazha(3), Darth Roxxor(1), Azira(1)

 

[vazha]

Everything you can afford, O Resplendent Sovereign. Especially wine fountains, that's an old classic.

Regarding political decisions, looks like the crowd craves more blood & sports, majesty, so since Maxie has already served her purpose, my advice would be to execute her and beat up Horvatii for added entertainment value.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Said otherwise, I can buy EVERYTHING.

Then you'd damn better buy EVERYTHING, milord.

 

[Azira]

Buy everything. Oh, and do not knight the ghost. He'd be, like, the ghost-rider, and that's genre-breaking.

 

[Dayyālu]

Buy everything, my king. Also I guess we can [k]night the Jester, just for fun and to show the nobles who's the ruler here. It's time for the Summit, but be prepared, I've heard that Beast British Beast Blakemore is almost a demon of a man, two meters tall and with metal bones.

 

[mondblut]

Politics - decision taken at +7 (edited from +10). Up to #222
6 : Knight Mondblut : V_K(3), Mondblut (3)

Hey! Thou appeare dystracted, lyege. There are otheres who wouldst see thine loyale jestere knyghted.

 

[Endemic]

Buy everything.

 

[Andnjord]

Of course my Liege, we should buy everything! As long as it is sourced from our local merchants and craftsmen, this expenditure will dazzle the evil king Blakemore whilst at the same time invigorating our economy and increasing the happiness of Your subjects.

 

[Kalarion]

Great King, the World must know of your Immense Splendiference. Buy Everything, and add to the Great Glory of your Name!