Let's write down the Unwritten Tales

[JarlFrank]

Oh and guise, I'd like to see more comments because I want to do only two updates per page, mostly because of photobucket bandwith reasons, and I don't want to have to bump to the next page all by myself after the next update.

 

[taplonaplo]

I hate the gnome's guts, so i hope we will have a switch soon, but the game looks fun. Keep it up!

 

[Gondolin]

I dig the whole World of Bureaucracy thing.

 

[Kz3r0]

Use Imageshack.

 

[Kz3r0]

And less pics and more posts.

 

[JarlFrank]

Update time!

Last time, Master Markus told us that we'll have to get three things in order to become a wizard. Jorge, the trader, also told us that we'd get rewarded if we eliminated the King of Thieves, who is a rat.

Let’s start the whole thing by asking Markus where to get the stuff he asked for.

Where could I buy a staff?

You can’t just buy any staff. The staff has to fit to the wizard. The staff picks the wizard, not the other way round. Ask Jorge the trader, maybe he has some – many good wizards died recently, so he should have a good selection in stock.

Do you still have an old robe I could wear?

Not in your size, little man. And it’s tradition that each wizard sews his own robe – you can’t imagine how silly most of them look in their self-made robes. Well, or without them, when a gust of wind comes around. Anyway, you’ll need magically treated cloth for the robe, which can only be sewn with magical needle and thread.

Hmm, I guess I will also need a pattern so I know how to make it… anyway, where am I going to get the gold?

If I knew where to get buckets of gold from, I’d have picked them up already.

Maybe you can let me work for you once I’ve gotten the robe and staff, until I’ve earned enough to pay you back?

Hah! Nobody could earn that much money by honest work.

So you want me to steal it?

Nah, there are many things in-between stealing and honest work. Go ask Wuppermann the showman. He earned a lot of money neither by stealing nor by honest work, just by exploiting the stupidity of his customers. *gives Wilbur a postcard*

A postcard?

It shows you the most important areas around Seefels so you can easily navigate the area around town.

Yay, a map!

Let’s have a look around Markus’ house before we go out. Let’s look at that table.

I wonder how many young students have studied to become a wizard at that table already…

Three.

Let’s look into the box on the left of the screen. Markus lets us search through it because there’s just some old magical junk in there he doesn’t need anymore. Wilbur takes out a magical needle with thread, and three differently-colored potions. There’s also a crystal ball which we can try to pick up, then Wilbur asks if you can see into the future with it.

Naah, it’s useless. It was just an advertising present. Take it if you want.

That’s it for the wizard’s house. There’s nothing else we can do in here for the moment. Well, we *can* drink the potions we’ve found.

The first one only makes Wilbur’s skin change color for a while.

Everything’s turning! Was this alcohol?

Nope, you’re just floating in the air and spinning around.

Useless. But the third potion makes us shrink – that might come in handy. Let’s leave the house no~

The King of Thieves! It’s a rat with a rapier, going on the trader’s nerves.

I’ll get you! I’ll get you, you little bastard, and if it’s the last thing I’ll ever do!

So, he’s pissed, eh?

Hi.

Why isn’t the rat dead yet?

Er… I’m working on it. Can I buy a wizard’s staff from you?

NOTE: At this point of the game, it turns out that I’ve actually mistranslated “Stab” as “staff” the whole time. It can also mean “wand”, which, in this case, it does, since Jorge will show us a bunch of wands, not big gnarly staffs.

Sorry, the wizard must be here when he buys a wand. The wand has to fit to the wizard, you know.

Well, I’m the wizard!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one.

No, really, I am. Show me the wands!

So, Jorge shows us a wand and Wilbur moves it around in the air to see if it spawns some magical sparks or something.

It doesn’t. And neither does the second wand. Then the screen blacks out, the text “a while later” appears, and then the screen reappears with Wilbur unsuccessfully testing the last wand.

Give it up. You have not a single bit of magic in you.

That was just the fourth wand…

Yeah, and it was my last. I don’t have more than that. If you really want a wand that fits you, look somewhere else.

Hmm, damn. Well, of course, it would’ve been to easy to just buy it.

Do you have any magically treated cloth?

Sure, a lot of it.

YES

It’s 2 gold per thigh.

fuck

How much is one thigh?

About 4 ½ dwarven feet. Or one and a half tauren forearms. Or about 3/8ths of a gnome.

So, we’ll have to get the gold before we can get the cloth. Who could’ve guessed. Let’s go to the hole that leads down to the sewers…

Somewhere down in the sewers I should find the King of Thieves. Too bad I’m too big to fit through the hole…

Are you? Well, what about that shrinking potion we picked up in Markus’ home? Wait, it’s actually called “world magnifying potion”. It doesn’t shrink Wilbur, it magnifies everything around him. Heh. Let’s take a sip and…

I’m not small enough to fit through.

Let’s take another sip then…

Hmm, this doesn’t change anything. Seems like the potion only raises the world to a certain size.

K
Let’s leave the city for now, then.

Here’s the map, and that place that looks like a fairground is the place where we can meet that Wuppermann. Maybe he can be of some help to us.

So, this is Wuppermann’s camp. The big fluffy thing in the lower left corner isn’t a bunch of straw, though, even though it looks like it. You can’t see it in the screenshot, but that thing is breathing. It’s a very very fat hamster in a cage. The empty cage to the right… well…

Ziggy, the invisible pink squirrel. It bites. Stay back.

The cage to the right of that one, the one made of metal, contains dove droppings, and feathers. We’ll pick up one of the feathers. Let’s have a chat now.

Hello! I am Wilbur Wetterquarz, a gnome. I want to talk to the archmage.

Hello, Wilbur! I am Francis the Magnificent!

Are you the showman my Master Markus told me about?

I have no idea whom your Master told you about, but yes, I am a showman. Francis Phillip Wuppermann is my name, but people also call me Francis the Magnificent. I only keep this little carnival as a hobby, though – my main talent is divination! I can look into the future.

Can you really see into the future?

Yes. People from far and wide come to me to ask about the future, and I give good advice for good money. They ask, will the bread prices rise? I say yes, then they all buy bread, then the bread price actually rises! Women ask me which color will be all the rage next summer, and if I tell them green, all the women will indeed wear green!

Will you tell me my future? But I have no gold…

I see… that it will be free for you today. Let’s begin.

Will I be able to solve all the tasks laid before me?

No! You should go home and give up.

But then I’d have failed.

Yes, and I’d have been right.

What will happen today?

I see… darkness! The day will end with darkness.

I could’ve divined that, too…

And you will play at my lucky wheel today, and you will ask yourself if you’d have done it even if I hadn’t predicted.

If you can look into the future, you could tell me… what question will I ask next?

I… er… uh… oh crap, my connection has been severed! You know, my talent is very special, and some questions can scare it.

Hmmm… somehow I got the feeling that something isn’t entirely correct here.

Yeah, that guy is quite obviously a fraud. No wonder Markus said he earns his money by exploiting the stupidity of his customers.

What’s up with those cages?

Well, once I earned my money with my little fair here, but since I’ve switched mainly to forseeing the future, they’re only my hobby. Except for the doves… I use them to bring messages to my customers all over the world. Most of my customers are people in faraway places…

Why is that?

Well… let’s just say it’s good to be far away when one of my divinations turns out to be wrong.

Did I already mention this guy is very obviously a fraud? Well, yeah.

Do you think something’s wrong with the squirrel?

Do you think so? Let me check…

While he checks out the invisible pink squirrel, we’ll exchange his crystal ball with the one we picked up in Markus’ home…

I hope nothing’s wrong with him. It’s such an amazing animal, don’t you think?

Err… yeah, very.

Let’s ask him to divine our future yet again…

Er… Mr Wuppermann? Can you tell my future now?

*nods*

Can you talk?

*shakes head*

Ahhh. Markus’ crystal ball does seem to work much better than his own, but he can only nod and shake his head, which quite restricts the type of questions we can ask.

Will something bad happen to me during my adventures?

*nods*

Will I be hurt?

*nods*

Will I… die?

*nods*

Urrrrgh!

Well, that’s an interesting revelation.

Will I meet the archmage and accomplish my mission?

*shakes head*

But… then everything will have been for naught?

*shakes head*

Hmm, interesting. We won’t meet the archmage, but we won’t fail our quest, either.

Will…

Uuuh… sorry, Wilbur, I must’ve fallen asleep.

But… don’t you remember?

Remember what?

Interesting… so this time he *did* actually see the future! But the number of questions I can ask is limited…

And that’s it for this update! Next time we play at his lucky wheel and win the game by having him tell us the results beforehand.

 

[taplonaplo]

Will I… die?

*nods*

Yay!

 

[JarlFrank]

Yep, everything he nodded to will actually come true!

Also, plx bump to next paeg, kthx

 

[Kz3r0]

Yep, everything he nodded to will actually come true!

Also, plx bump to next paeg, kthx

 

[bandaid]

BUMP

(German is fun.)

 

[Brother None]

Will I… die?

*nods*

Yay!

Don't get overexited. This smells Pratchetean to me.

 

[taplonaplo]

The gnome won't die by doing nothing, you need to update!

 

[Marco Rosenberg]

Hi,
I work for KING Art Games, the developer of this game. I found this interesting Let's Play (never seen a written one before) and am happy to announce, that there now is an English version of this game available. You can find info and buy a digital download at www.unwritten-tales.com
On the official site you can also download a demo, which is about 3 hours long.

But nonetheless, I would love to see the rest of the game as a written Let's Play. Please continue, JarlFrank!

 

[spekkio]

Unfortunately, Jarl decided to abandon this LP due to distinctive lack of gay lesbian elf sex in the game.

Nothing that the sequel couldn't improve upon...