Maid: The Role Playing Game

[Infinitron]

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/maid-gross-lolita.php

Way back in 2004, Japanese maid enthusiast Ryo Kamiya developed Maid: The Role Playing Game. It was a simple RPG based on the idea of anime maids (players) serving a master (the GM) and trying to win his favor. If this sounds big time weird and gross, you're right on the money. It includes underage characters, seduction, weird sex, lots of references to spending the night in bed, and various forms of physical and emotional abuse too numerous to mention. Naturally, it was a big hit in Japan and in 2008 the game was translated to English. And now here we are. Look at this. It exists.

They appear to be playing it in Cleve's bunker. The GM is Vault-OS.

 

[Helly]

WTF indeed.
Still looking for a game to play, ColCol ?

 

[Spectacle]

There are few things that freak me out more than the thought of a group of dumpy middle-age weeaboo nerds sitting around a table and roleplaying underage maids.

 

[ColCol]

Seems like the perfect game for all the weird rance fans and rape enthusiasts on the codex.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

rance fans

You don't know what you are talking about.

 

[Mother Russia]

Yeah this pisses me off to no end. The first Japanese pen and paper rpg to be translated into english, and it turns out to be this shit, where you roleplay a Master and other players roleplay your Maids (male players, I might add)

Still, the guy who translated this eventually translated Tenra Bansho Zero.

 

[Ulminati]

Hm. A couple of girls I know have been pestering me to run something lighthearted for a while. Wonder if I'd get lynched if I linked them that.

Athough, the SA approach of having them be maids for HAL 9000 has potential...

 

[Major_Blackhart]

How has codex not done a CYOA of this yet?

 

[Monty]

This could only come from a nation where vending machines sell used schoolgirl underwear. Classic.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Hasn't that been pointed out on these forums like a thousand fucking times?
Goddammit, if you're gonna make an observation, be fucking original about it or shut the fuck up.

 

[Severian Silk]

How has codex not done a CYOA of this yet?

Choose Your Own Adventure?

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Exactly. A CYOA of the Maid game.

 

[Cassidy]

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Vampire", "Epic", "Arcanum" etc bullshit that's going on in the CYOA system right now. Maids deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Maid in Japan for 24,000,000 Yen (that's about $200,000) and have been practicing with her for almost 2 years now. I can even persuade slabs of solid steel with my maid.

Japanese pimps spend years working on a single maid and pimp her up to a million times to produce the finest maids known to mankind.

Maids are thrice as sharp as European hos and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a ho can cut through, a maid can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a maid could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple innocent gaze.

Ever wonder why nobody ever bothered translating other PnP RPGs from Japan? That's right, they were too scared to neglect the disciplined masters and their maids of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the maids first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Maid is simply the best RPG that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the CYOA system. Here is the stat block I propose for Maids:

50 CYOA threads about Maid RPG in the Playground
500 related replies
50,000 views

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Maid RPG in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Maid RPG need more CYOA threads in the Codex Playground, see my new stat block.

 

[RK47]

Hm. A couple of girls I know have been pestering me to run something lighthearted for a while. Wonder if I'd get lynched if I linked them that.

Athough, the SA approach of having them be maids for HAL 9000 has potential...

...........please. you just want them to serve you tea and biscuits, don't you? Goshujin-sama?~

 

[Commissar Draco]

Do western mass murder simulators RPGs are more and morally superior than this shit? Japan is on the hole much more civilized and cultured country than KWA and Londonistan despite having xeno sexual fetishes... or maybe thanks to it.

 

[Monty]

Hasn't that been pointed out on these forums like a thousand fucking times?
Goddammit, if you're gonna make an observation, be fucking original about it or shut the fuck up.

Yes I guess I deserved some of that for firing off a rather lame comment on the spur of the moment, just what came to mind when I read the OP.

But what an angry keyboard warrior you are, very impressive.

I'll try to meet your demanding posting requirements, but when I come across exceptionally original and intelligent posts such as this...

Either way, we know this: Hairy women and boys are not as fun for anal pleasures.

... I realise that were I a divine combination of Shakespeare, Newton and Wilde himself I would still struggle to compete.

I'll do my best though.

 

[Ulminati]

Hm. A couple of girls I know have been pestering me to run something lighthearted for a while. Wonder if I'd get lynched if I linked them that.

Athough, the SA approach of having them be maids for HAL 9000 has potential...

...........please. you just want them to serve you tea and biscuits, don't you? Goshujin-sama?~

God no. One of them set fire to my kitchen last time she tried her hand at baking. We don't need a repeat of that. But it'd be absolutely hilarious to make something akin to this with 3 girls I know as well as a guy that turns EVERYTHING into innuendo. Especially since one of the girls is a huge weaboo that gets mildly offended every time I claim you can tell something is Japanese by the tentacles. I'm also digging the idea of letting people think we're doing a rape simulator and then doing a switcharoo by letting the master be an inanimate object like in SA.

I'm gonna hunt a torrent of this down and let you know if I end up having session logs for the playground

 

[Major_Blackhart]

... I realise that were I a divine combination of Shakespeare, Newton and Wilde himself I would still struggle to compete.

I'll do my best though.

Don't bother trying. Just give in.

 

[Damned Registrations]

The master should be Rance's sword. I'm sure he'd appreciate having maids around and everyone can busy themselves polishing a sword and so forth.

 

[Horus]

This game was probably played in maid cafes(They are like striptease clubs for japanese) for high price so it's no wonder it's popular in nippon. I don't see how can this sell in any other sane country though.

 

[abnaxus]

What's so special about this? In the 90s there was already the Maid's Story, basically a brothel simulator.

 

[Kalin]

Cheers for bringing it up, I had actually managed to forget about it! It really is quite a gem, a lovely little management and maid training sim with some prestigious scenes of tastefully encouraged female subordination. I was surprised at the time that it even featured more advanced forms of "night training", provided, of course, that the player was thrifty enough to afford the appropriate "sensual enhancement" tools from the wandering salesman, who by the way also sold energy-boosting drugs which could be used to train girls past their natural stamina limits. Applying the latter would incur some negative feelings in the subjects, but those could easily be alleviated with gifts and kind words.

It is an adorable title, charmingly and humorously chauvinist through and through, and reminiscing about it here makes me want to play it all over again.

 

[Caim]

From what I understand this game is extremely similar to Dark Heresy and the other FFG 40k RPGs. So maybe one of you brave idiots dares to turn a Maids game into Dark Heresy?

Or the other way around.

 

[Insane Psychic]

Hm. A couple of girls I know have been pestering me to run something lighthearted for a while. Wonder if I'd get lynched if I linked them that.

Athough, the SA approach of having them be maids for HAL 9000 has potential...

You know what you must do, also post an AAR afterwards.

 

[Ulminati]

You know what you must do, also post an AAR afterwards.

You're about 5 months late. No AAR because noone bothered writing it down. It was pretty amusing. The "master" was a small yippy dog with bladder issues, who had been left a fortune in the will of its deceased, eccentric owner. And the maid whom the dog liked best after a month would effectively get to run away with the fortune. The players spent about 10% of the time trying to pamper the dog and the rest of the time trying to sabotage each other. It was pretty hilarious. Since none of them bothered performing their actual duties, the estate managed to fall into disrepair and nearly burned to the ground towards the end as the players pulled out increasingly bigger guns to shoot each other down.