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Worst lines in a Bioware game?

Vibalist

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Lesifoere said:
?

Medieval authors wrote like this:

Geoffrey Chaucer said:
Yclenched overthwart and endelong
With iren tough; and for to make it strong,
Every pyler, the temple to sustene,
Was tonne-greet, of iren bright and shene.

You aren't complaining that Bioware fails to capture medieval speech; you're complaining about speech that doesn't fit into the average fantasy reader's idiotic idea of what medieval speech is like, which is neither authentic nor particularly good, in general.

Yes, I'm aware of this. I know that what qualifies as 'medieval' speech in games (or movies or books) is not REALLY medieval speech. Maybe it's my own fault for not expressing it properly, but my problem with Bioware's writing is not that it doesn't capture how people spoke a thousand years ago, but rather its inconsistency. One moment the writers are going for medieval (or faux-medieval if you will), the next they aren't. One moment characters are pulling thee's and thou's out their ass, the next they're telling you they 'don't truck with demons'.
To me, this seems like an inconsistency, as if the writers had no idea which direction they wanted their own writing to go in.

I'll take "fuck this shit, let's move on" (yes, medieval people swore; yes, they used the word "fuck") over a hack writer trying too hard with thee/thou/'tis any day. "Shall we move on" isn't anymore "old school" than "you're pretty awesome, dude," just FYI.

No, you're right. But the bottom line is that the writing switches back and forth between two 'modes' of speech, if you will. If some characters consistently spoke old school like and others consistently didn't I might be able to live with it, but when the same character goes back and forth constantly, it's poor writing, right?

Morgoth said:
Vibalist said:
I hate how Bioware have always failed to capture medieval speech in games that take place in medieval settings.
It's not a medieval setting, it's a fantasy setting, you fucking dumbfuck. They can use whatever language they want to.

R00fles.
 

Lyric Suite

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Lesifoere said:
(yes, medieval people swore; yes, they used the word "fuck")

No they didn't, and no, they did not. I mean, do we have to go through this shit again?
 

Lyric Suite

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Gragt said:
It's not like there is a rule that people in a fantasy world remotely inspired by our medieval world can't speak like we do.

Actually, yes, there is.
 

Idiott

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c8EHX.png
 

Vaarna_Aarne

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ghostdog said:
The Gentleman Loser said:
baronjohn said:
In DA:O you can say to a merchant "I hear you're making a killing! Me too! (kill him)" I don't know. I can't even imagine a child writing this. You literally have to be an inexperienced, tasteless, artless retard to both write this and to not find it gravely offensive.

That's almost 80s Schwarzenegger Movie quality right there.

80s Schwarzenegger Movie quality is higher than what you, or the little copycat Bioware writers, can fathom. You think anyone can just go and use Arnie's one liners. right ?



RIGHT ?!

commando_05.jpg




WRONG

arnoldcommando-570x320.jpg
:love:


There's no better way to appreciate the awesomess of Schwarzenegger than seeing others trying to make stupid one-liners into pure awesome.
 
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Vaarna_Aarne said:
There's no better way to appreciate the awesomess of Schwarzenegger than seeing others trying to make stupid one-liners into pure awesome.

Funny enough I had that very movie in mind when I wrote it

"Don't bother him... he's dead tired."
Not Arnie: "Fuck you asshole." ... Arnie: "No. Fuck YOU asshole."
"Blow off some steam, Bennett."

I know he used "Making a killing..." somehow somewhere, but I can't remember where.

Almost anyone could write lines like that though... it's the delivery that makes it.
 

Xor

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Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Divinity: Original Sin Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Divinity: Original Sin 2
Don't forget the best one:
Arnold: "Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?"
Sully: "That's right, Matrix! You did!"
Arnold: "I lied."
 

Black

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So is bethesda no longer the worst at writing or what? Steel be with you, mudcrabs and so on are bad, sure, but this is a whole new level.
 

Lesifoere

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Lyric Suite said:
Lesifoere said:
(yes, medieval people swore; yes, they used the word "fuck")

No they didn't, and no, they did not. I mean, do we have to go through this shit again?

Lyric Suite is an ignorant illiterate dumbfuck with pretensions to education, film at 11!

William Dunbar said:
He clappit fast, he kist and chukkit
As with the glaikis he wer ouirgane.
Yit be his feirris he wald have fukkit -
"Ye brek my hart, my bony ane."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

@Vibalist: yes, I certainly agree that they're inconsistent.
 

Vaarna_Aarne

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The Gentleman Loser said:
Xor said:
Don't forget the best one:
Arnold: "Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?"
Sully: "That's right, Matrix! You did!"
Arnold: "I lied."

The follow-up to that is good too...

"What happened to Sully?"
"I let him go."
Commando is the Sistine Chapel of awesome one-liners.
 

Phelot

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Never liked Commando. No joke.

Predator had some good ones.

"If it bleeds, we can kill it."

Bioware should design a bro-arm wrestling mini game like when Dutch and that one CIA black dude bro it up at the beginning. Basically, whenever a black man yells "BECAUSE SOME DAMN FOOL SAID YOU WERE THE BEST" you enter into a bromance. There would be three buttons you'd have to press based on what's being flashed on screen:

A) Causes more sweat and moisture to occur on your muscles.

B) Keeps your face stone and hardcore (NO FUCKING LAUGHING)

C) Strength and muscle bulge. Not pressing in time may result in muscle collapse and thus failure.

The object of the game is to get the other dude to admit that your arm is bigger and that you could snap it and to get him to say "OK OK you win!"
 

Lyric Suite

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Lesifoere said:
Lyric Suite said:
Lesifoere said:
(yes, medieval people swore; yes, they used the word "fuck")

No they didn't, and no, they did not. I mean, do we have to go through this shit again?

Lyric Suite is an ignorant illiterate dumbfuck with pretensions to education, film at 11!

William Dunbar said:
He clappit fast, he kist and chukkit
As with the glaikis he wer ouirgane.
Yit be his feirris he wald have fukkit -
"Ye brek my hart, my bony ane."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

@Vibalist: yes, I certainly agree that they're inconsistent.

Lesifoere actually thinks she has proven some sort of point by quoting that passage. One could of course point out that Dunbar died in 1520, which is nearly towards the end of the middle ages, and that there's no recorded etymological use of the word "fuck" prior to the very poem used in her citation. One could also point out that a satirical passage penned by some enfant terrible poet who was read mainly by the degenerate nobility means that you could stroll into a medieval town and be greeted by a barrage of fucks and cunts, as a matter of course. But hey, why bother? Let's all pretend that wading through the juvenille swearing in games like The Witcher is not only out of character with the time period from which the setting is inspired from but its just plain fucking stupid.
 

Idiott

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Fantasy characters can say 'fuck'. Arguments that in the middle ages people didn't talk like that so they can't use it in some imaginary world is like complaining about warriors using rapiers in the same world. It only resembles medieval Europe. It's not taking place in middle ages, in a known location. It's fictional worls with fictional rules. As long as it's consistent with itself, they can call each other 'bro' instead of 'ser' and it is perfectly fine.

Some writers keep stylizing their characters' language to emphasize that their world is 'like medieval times' but it's mostly shit, as it's not how people were talking back then, but what majority of people think they were talking like back then. If they used real medieval phrasing it would be unreadable and barely understandable.

When they use phrases clearly referring to industrial stuff that doesn't exist in the setting or alternate between normal and 'stylized' way of talking, that's just shitty writing.
 

Gragt

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Considering most languages — even Latin — got their slang equivalent of "fuck" for a very long time, I'd be surprised that "fuck" suddenly appeared out of nowhere at the end of middle ages.

Lyric Suite said:
Let's all pretend that wading through the juvenille swearing in games like The Witcher is not only out of character with the time period from which the setting is inspired from but its just plain fucking stupid.

Inspired from indeed. The Witcher is fiction, not our history. Besides there is again no rule about the kind of language that should be used in any kind of setting, and not just medieval. Even if it tried to go for a fairly faithful historic setting, not complying to every detail wouldn't automatically make it a failure; maybe it'd fail as a historic reconstitution but art cares more about verisimilitude than reality. The artist makes the rules, and his only contrivance is to stick to them.
 

shihonage

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The Gentleman Loser said:
Xor said:
Don't forget the best one:
Arnold: "Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?"
Sully: "That's right, Matrix! You did!"
Arnold: "I lied."

The follow-up to that is good too...

"What happened to Sully?"
"I let him go."

I'm sorry, but all that pales in comparison to the unquestionably best line out of all Schwarzenegger films:

Arnold to police officer: "You wanna be a farmer? Here's a couple of achers." (kicks him in the nuts)
 

Xor

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Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Divinity: Original Sin Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Divinity: Original Sin 2
OK, I'm going to have to watch a bunch of Arnold movies this weekend.
 
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Not the worst but the first to come to my mind - Alistair from DA:O: (flirting with the PC) "can we get to the steamy parts?"

Also, LOL @ Lyric Suite. Especially how he attributes dirty slang to decadent nobility. One has got to wonder if he has ever been around real lowlife scum and witnessed the many vulgar forms a language can take that he would otherwise also attribute to decadent liberals and the like trying too hard.

Also:

fuck (v.)
until recently a difficult word to trace, in part because it was taboo to the editors of the original OED when the "F" volume was compiled, 1893-97. Written form only attested from early 16c. OED 2nd edition cites 1503, in the form fukkit; earliest appearance of current spelling is 1535 -- "Bischops ... may fuck thair fill and be vnmaryit" [Sir David Lyndesay, "Ane Satyre of the Thrie Estaits"], but presumably it is a much more ancient word than that, simply one that wasn't written in the kind of texts that have survived from O.E. and M.E. Buck cites proper name John le Fucker from 1278. The word apparently is hinted at in a scurrilous 15c. poem, titled "Flen flyys," written in bastard Latin and M.E. The relevant line reads:

Non sunt in celi
quia fuccant uuiuys of heli


"They [the monks] are not in heaven because they fuck the wives of [the town of] Ely." Fuccant is pseudo-Latin, and in the original it is written in cipher. The earliest examples of the word otherwise are from Scottish, which suggests a Scandinavian origin, perhaps from a word akin to Norwegian dialectal fukka "copulate," or Swedish dialectal focka "copulate, strike, push," and fock "penis." Another theory traces it to M.E. fyke, fike "move restlessly, fidget," which also meant "dally, flirt," and probably is from a general North Sea Germanic word; cf. M.Du. fokken, Ger. ficken "fuck," earlier "make quick movements to and fro, flick," still earlier "itch, scratch;" the vulgar sense attested from 16c. This would parallel in sense the usual M.E. slang term for "have sexual intercourse," swive, from O.E. swifan "to move lightly over, sweep" (see swivel). But OED remarks these "cannot be shown to be related" to the English word. Chronology and phonology rule out Shipley's attempt to derive it from M.E. firk "to press hard, beat."

Germanic words of similar form (f + vowel + consonant) and meaning 'copulate' are numerous. One of them is G. ficken. They often have additional senses, especially 'cheat,' but their basic meaning is 'move back and forth.' ... Most probably, fuck is a borrowing from Low German and has no cognates outside Germanic. [Liberman]

But of course, the truth must be that some decadent spoiled brat, his pinky finger by his cheek pointing up and back straight with the rest of his fingers slightly closed down, imagined how he could spread the next royally sensational, scandalous way of expression the way he imagined plebs could possibly swear and he uttered "le fuck!" in a feminised voice to the utmost horror of his equally worthless spoiled peers with much gratification.
 

Lesifoere

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villain of the story said:
Not the worst but the first to come to my mind - Alistair from DA:O: (flirting with the PC) "can we get to the steamy parts?"

That reminds me. "Swooping... swooping is bad." I've always thought Alistair was intellectually stunted.

Also, LOL @ Lyric Suite. Especially how he attributes dirty slang to decadent nobility. One has got to wonder if he has ever been around real lowlife scum and witnessed the many vulgar forms a language can take that he would otherwise also attribute to decadent liberals and the like trying too hard.

I think we can safely conclude that LS doesn't know much about real life of any sort. Basement, you know.
 

Idiott

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Lesifoere said:
That reminds me. "Swooping... swooping is bad." I've always thought Alistair was intellectually stunted.

They must've thought this is a masterpiece, because they reused this in DA2.
 

Burning Bridges

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Lyric Suite said:
Lesifoere said:
Lyric Suite said:
Lesifoere said:
(yes, medieval people swore; yes, they used the word "fuck")

No they didn't, and no, they did not. I mean, do we have to go through this shit again?

Lyric Suite is an ignorant illiterate dumbfuck with pretensions to education, film at 11!

William Dunbar said:
He clappit fast, he kist and chukkit
As with the glaikis he wer ouirgane.
Yit be his feirris he wald have fukkit -
"Ye brek my hart, my bony ane."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

@Vibalist: yes, I certainly agree that they're inconsistent.

Lesifoere actually thinks she has proven some sort of point by quoting that passage. One could of course point out that Dunbar died in 1520, which is nearly towards the end of the middle age, and that there's no recorded etymological use of the word "fuck" prior to the very poem used in her citation. One could also point out that a satirical passage penned by some enfant terrible poet who was read mainly by the degenerate nobility means that you could stroll into a medieval town and be greeted by a barrage of fucks and cunts, as a matter of course. But hey, why bother? Let's all pretend that wading through the juvenille swearing in games like The Witcher is not only out of character with the time period from which the setting is inspired from but its just plain fucking stupid.

Here a little anecdote that I find interesting. My great-grandmother (south-east germany) still used words that sound english to me. She said "fuck" (pronounced fʊk), or "kneif" instead of Messer (knife). Where it came from? I don't know, probably Franconian or Saxony dialect.

Point in case is, if the word survives even in some german mountain, it must be very old.
 

Lesifoere

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It is. "Fuck" has etymological roots that can be traced to Old German and Anglo-Saxon tongues that were in use around... well, a good deal before Christianity hit England, to start with.

Idiott said:
Lesifoere said:
That reminds me. "Swooping... swooping is bad." I've always thought Alistair was intellectually stunted.

They must've thought this is a masterpiece, because they reused this in DA2.

...

Are you serious? You can't be. Hell no. That line would make even the most intelligent, articulate person sound like a moron who was dropped on his head one time too many as a baby.
 

Carceri

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DriacKin said:
Minsc and Boo represent some of the most inane cringeworthy dialogue I've ever seen in any game.

...hamsters and rangers everywhere! Fuck yeah! Minsc and Boo represent one of the lamest attempt at humor that I had the terrible misfortune to witness. Even Lilarcor had better lines than Minsc and it's not even a NPC.
 

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