Next match is vs. lizardmen. They're an odd mix of ST4 AV9 saurii and ST2 AV7 stunty skinks. They can hit surprisingly hard. What's worse, 2 of the saurii already have block and tackle. If this were a human opponent, we'd be in trouble.
The trick to beating lizardmen is ignoring the saurii and focus aggressvely and exclusvey on killing the skinks. Once the skinks are gone, the lizards only have AG1 players and no way of movng the ball or dodging free.
We kick in the first half
First skink goes down, trying to dodge past ComradeCommisar. Badly Hurt!
Azira introduces a Skink to his knife, affectionally known as Mr. Stabby
A disastrous turnover sees the ball being run deep into our half! Those skinks are
fast
Fortunately Mike Jahn is in position to intervene. The scatter is crap though
He follows up next turn by injuring a skink. My cunning plan to beat up the little guys is proceeding smoothly
Pipka seizes the ball, makes a high pass to Azira
Who makes a break for the goal line!
Elwro throws another skink to the ground. The granite does the rest, and the skink is carried off to the infirmery
Silellak prepares for the first booting of the match...
But the ref will have none of it and sends him off
Lightbane knocks another skink out. You guys sure love beating up people smaller than yourselves
The kroxigor thwacks Pipka upside the head, and he goes down hard
A saurus messes GarfunkeL up bad! This could be a carreer ender!
Apotechary to the rescue! That was a close one
The carnage is cut short by Azira, who points out he's been standing in the endzone all along
No skinks for the next drive. Watching saurii trying to play ball causes no end of amusement
Mike Jahn needs to pass a 2+ pickup and a 2+ quick pass to take it to 2-0
...But what did you really expect from us?
2 skinks wake up at halftime. I guess it won't be a *complete* walkover
Quick question. Is it better if I play with display grid on? I mostly keep it turned off because it's butt-ugly, but if it's easier for people to follow like this, I'll keep it on
Zappater attempts a 3+ pass with a reroll
...You know how it goes. Seriously not feeling that elf vibe. Are you certain you're not orcs?
GarfunkeL sends a skink back in the KO box
And Elwro seizes the oppertunity to make a break for the endzone!
Meanwhile, FSM sends the other skink back in the KO bin
And Elwro puts on a show for the crowd. Notice the tasteful purple hue and golden highlightng on the spikes in our home stadium
The skinks wake up yet again. They are nothing if not persistent
FSM blitzes the carrier and recovers the ball again
But while we're busy caging...
...the Kroxigor goes to town on Zappater! He plays his jaw like an accordion! The apotechary has already been used, and Zappater will have to sit out the next match! (Serious Injury)
Azira quickly evens the score! Mr. Stabby vs Saurus results in badly hurt
Flying Spaghetti Monster with a quick pass to ComradeCommisar.
...And while he's at it, another Serious Injury to a Skink
Puny lizards are no match for my magnificent macaroni!
ComradeCommisar takes it to 3-0!
Look at that casualty box. We're brutalizing them
An unfortunate mix-up in the closing moments of the match sees the lizards punch through our defenses!
Reducing our victory to 3-1
Hawt!
Post-game results. Winnings are a bit meh
3 players level up
We only have 10 players who are able to play. We'll have a mercenary joining us for the next match. His chances of survival: Slim to none
Dodge for the added mobility and chance to survive block attempts
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On to the next match!
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Vs skaven this time. In the hands of a skilled coach, these guys can be real trouble. These skaven, however, are in the hands of the AI and I expect no resistence.
We're kicking again
...Sweet mother of god! What kind of freaks are we up against!?
Silellak prepares to foul their gutterrunner with foul appearance! (Hey, he's practically begging for it with that mutation!
)
...And the ref sends him off in turn 1 again!?
Lightbane will have to suck it up and bleed like a man
GarfunkeL avenges his fallen comrade, fracturing a rats tail in 4 places. We won't be seeing him again
Mike Jahn prepares a risky blitz against the carrier
And is rewarded with the sweet sound of shattering bones!
Azira finishes what Silellak started. His brutal treatment of the gutterrunner nets a serious injury that permanently lowers the rodents AV by 1!
Our mercenary takes one for the team. The apotechary could save his career, but chooses not to
Brother None takes out another rat with a flying kick to the face.
Elwro and ComradeCommisar have a breif argument about who gets to score
In the end, ComradeCommisar snatches the ball from his teammate and steals the glory!
Half Time is upon us, and we're ready to receive
Azira opens the half with a stab that transcends mere brawling and enters the realm of true artistry! (Badly Hurt)
Brother None passes to GarfunkeL, and the cage proceeds down the pitch
Our victory seems all but certain. We are, however, down to an 8v8. This could go both ways
...Until we get a blitz!
The ball scattered perfectly, and we manage to secure it before the mice can blink
Flying Spaghetti Monster clears the way!
BAM!
Elwro passes to Azira, who takes off again!
We're slaughtering them
We move to secure the ball in the opening of the last drive
Azira continues his rampage, delivering a serious injury to a Stromvermin
Brother None passes to GarfunkeL, who takes it to 4-0!
Post-match speaks for itself. Horrid winnings again, but 6 casualties.
Gentlemen, Brace for Statistics!
2 players level up
And Undead Phoenix Joins us, doubling the number of confirmed transvestites on our team!
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Playoffs Wrap-up
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With all of our opponents throughoughly decimated, the playoffs were a foregone conclusion. The first match were against goblins...
...Who were so hopelessly outmatched not even "Ripper" Bolgrot could save them
Azira took down their fanatic...
Elwro killed a goblin...
...but the apotechary saved it
And Undead Phoenix scored his (its?) first touchdown for the team
Ripper tossed a goblin into our endzone!
Mike Jahn performed craniofacial surgery on a goblin
And we steamrolled through, allowing Undead Phoenix to secure another touchdown.
We performed a gay and merry morris dance on a fallen goblin to celebrate
...But Silellak was sent off by the referee after a "Wardrobe Malfunction"
Still didn't stop Lightbane from scoring. He looks like he's not quite certain what he's doing with a ball in his hand
Undead Phoenix takes a troll to the face. The apotechary steps in to rescue him
And the post-game screen says it all.
4 of you leveled up that match!
+AG to Undead Phoenix and +ST to Lightbane? HELL YES!
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Finals
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The ratmen return for another beating
And they bring headsplitter with them
Azira earns his keep, administering Butt Hurt to a Stormvermin
Guess who's sent off by the referee. On the first foul. Again.
Elwro trips a rat as he dodges, the granite takes care of the rest, and it's a permanent armour reduction
Brother None with a quick pass to ComradeCommisar takes the match to 1-0
Elwro ramps up the Butt Hurt on a gutterrunner
Undead Phoenix demonstrates why AG5 is awesome. 4 dodges, a pickup inside a tackle zone and a short pass with no rerolls available...
...And Pipka reaps the glory. 2-0!
Headsplitter takes offense to this. Pipka sucks it up
Flying Spaghetti Monster shows he's still got it, breaking 4 ribs on a skaven thrower and making him miss his next match
Undead Phoenix dodges his way to the ball and sets up a long bomb to FSM...
...Who takes on all comers...
...and saunters into the endzone for 3-0!
We get a blitz next drive, allowing us to intercept the ball
And FSM makes it 4-0!
Zappater makes a sweet long pass to Undead Phoenix
...And the post-match screen speaks volumes.
Only one place we can go again. I'm beginning to suspect we'll have to go through every damn cup to reach the blood bowl
2 players level up
....Chaos, Goblins and Wood elves? You've got to be kidding me. This looks like another walkover cup. Fast forward, yay or nay? Vote now!
