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Let's Play Magna Mundi: Pakistan Ascendant

Giant douche or turd sandwich?

  • Sikhism

    Votes: 2 100.0%
  • Religion of Peace

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    2

commybro

Novice
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
15
Location
Nova Immaterium
shits awesome cumrade! keep the bro flowing.
 

Kashmir Slippers

Magister
Joined
Apr 23, 2011
Messages
1,018
Location
Here, obviously
I anxiously await the conquest of southern India, but I respect your decision to go slowly.

Let the Hindu's knowledge of their impending doom rattle them for a little while longer.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
935
Location
The President of France
Hey bros, Ubik released a preview screenshot of the Sengoku Jidai interface. What do you gents make of this?

sengoku1.jpg
 
Joined
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Messages
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Location
The President of France
eu3game2011-04-3018-39-36-92.jpg


The Shah begins making a few preparations for the upcoming Bengali campaign. During his preparations, the Shah hears word of a large French vessel off the Gujarati coast. The presence of this ship is intriguing, even if it is not immediately important. It could be that the French are attempting to carve out a colonial empire in the Far East.


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Using the plunder from the recent Gujarati war, the Shah begins another series of construction works, including a development of infrastructure in the more rural regions of the Empire. The Aristocracy take this very poorly, viewing it as the Shah pandering to the middle classes. Fortunately, the concerted efforts of the Andhairavid line mean that the Aristocracy are no longer capable of interfering with the Shah in any meaningful way. Their resistance shouldn't hinder Andhairavid designs.


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The Bengali heathens are allied with the Hindus of Bijapur, the Muslims of Kashmir, and, most worryingly, the Assamese Andhairavids. Andhaira X is confident that his cousin will join him against Bengal. If not, then the Shah will be forced to reaffirm their familial ties after the war. Bijapur shouldn't be a problem, although Kashmir may present some difficulty.


eu3game2011-04-3018-46-59-14.jpg


Thanks, bro, I'll remember this if Tibet or Burma come knocking again. :thumbsup:


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The Kashmir army isn't particularly threatening, but the rough terrain may present problems to an occupying force. Attrition will be the real killer in a campaign here, not the Kashmir soldiers themselves.

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Through admirable resolve and competent leadership on behalf of their Raja, the puny Bengali army manages to make a fighting retreat away from the Bihari Horde. It hardly matters, with so few men they will not be able to prevent occupation. Eventually the Hindus will be backed into a corner.

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The Bengali capital is seized, and the Raja is taken prisoner. There is still some resistance in the coastal areas, but this will not last for long.


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The armies of Kashmir and Bijapur are both completely annihilated, and quite spectacularly at that.


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The Kashmir capital is occupied, despite severe casualties from attrition. Inexplicably, or perhaps at the urging of his inane blood, the Shah feels compelled to try and occupy the entire Kingdom, regardless of men lost. Andhaira I would certainly be proud. A true Andhairavid would not cease a military campaign even at the behest of a hundred thousand grieving widows.


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Bengali forces are once again seen off at Vanga. Assamese forces move into Koch, essentially cutting off the Bengali line of retreat.


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The Kashmir defenders continue to lose ground to the onrush of Sikhs. If the Shah's vanity demands it, then the goat-hating scum will be ground down to the last man, even if it takes every fighting man in Delhi.


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Vanga is taken, Bengal is firmly crushed. Their remaining scraps of territory aren't particularly valuable, but they form a solid buffer region. With some more advanced fortifications, Bengal and Nepal will act as impervious barriers, shielding the Empire should the Buddhist warmongers get greedy. There is only one Religion of Peace, and it is not that of the Buddha!


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The East and West are both secure. now the Shah can fix his eyes firmly on the South. Inanity triumphs! :salute:


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Despite the ongoing war, another wave of Sikh refugees begin flooding in from Persia. They are welcomed with open arms. The mass immigration of Iranian Sikhs has lead to an enormous explosion in population, and thus manpower. Many of these Persians have found their way into the Horde, bringing peace and love to all who do not want it in the name of the Great Goat.


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For some reason or other, the Shah moves into Ladakh. Remember this was the province that I sold to Kashmir after the conquest of Delhi, for being so abominably shitty. Despite the glorious inanity of it all, the result is plain to see.


eu3game2011-04-3019-04-00-20.jpg


Meanwhile, in Europistan. I figured some of you would find this interesting, the Turks have violently and tastelessly surprise-sodomised the Austrians.


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Naturally, being a faggot, I screw up the peace screen. I don't vassalise them, because they would probably just break away by event in a decade or two. I'll keep my infamy low until I begin expanding deeper into the Indian peninsula.


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The Bengali people seem very willing to embrace the Love of Andhaira. Despite some incidents amongst the Hindu Bengali communities, they have proven themselves to be loyal subjects. The Shah is optimistic about the integration of the new Bengali territories.


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Likewise, the Bihari and Nepali peoples of the Eastern half of the Empire have shown themselves to be loyal and valuable. Bihar has quickly become one of the great trading hubs of the Empire. Bihari manpower now accounts for a significant proportion of Andhairavid infantry.. Nepal, although a poor, harsh place, is recognised as an important buffer against the growing Tibetan Empire. The Bihari people have been woven by trade into the cultural fabric of the Empire, while the Nepalis have gained respect for their invaluable role in national security.


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The Marathi people of Maharastra have also proven their value. Their city has developed into a magnificent cultural centre. Marathi Sikh art is some of the finest in the world, and Marathi architects are frequently employed in construction works. Such a skilled and industrious people cannot be considered mere conquered subjects.


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The reign of Andhaira X would also become known for the integration of the myriad peoples that fall under Andhairavid rule. The conquered peoples have grown in wealth and importance. They have converted willingly to Sikhism, and have been granted a place in the great union of faiths and cultures that is the Andhairavid Empire. By the great imperial Multikult, the Empire of the Goat grows ever grander.


eu3game2011-04-3019-19-42-35.jpg


A final look at core and non-core provinces. It's very apparent now that infamy does indeed affect the coring process. Things really are just clicking together now. There is little stopping the Shah from rolling over the southern heathens now. All he need do is give the order, and many thousands of men will be ready to lay down their lives in the name of the Great Goat and glorious pacifism.
 

Kashmir Slippers

Magister
Joined
Apr 23, 2011
Messages
1,018
Location
Here, obviously
Sweet, sweet conquest. When can we expect you subjugation of the rest of India, and what are your glorious plans for afterward?

As for the Sengoku picture, it looks similar to a HRE or sorts, but I cannot make heads or tails of it on looks alone. Has Ubik released another Dev. Diary for it?
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
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Location
The President of France
I'm going to go straight for the Vidyanegroes. I want to annex them as soon as possible, infamy be damned. After that I plan to let my infamy go down for awhile whilst slowly conquering the last couple of Hindu states, and I'll perhaps let Codexia decide what to do from there.


The new dev diaries are about espionage. There will be another one on Friday, so it might be about Japan.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
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Location
The President of France
Remember bros, comments fuel updates. The Vidyanegro invasion will be tomorrow.

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As the Shah returns to his royal palace in Delhi, he begins having some strange visions. Of a thousand goats, with naught but oblivion In their eyes. Of the future, when the line of Andhaira is cast down and broken, the Golden Goat discarded in the ashes of Delhi. The Shah hears a constant scratching sound inside the walls of his throne-room, even though the court eunuchs have been unable to find anything. Perhaps a few ratcatcher goats are in order?

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At any rate, it is a fairly trivial matter. A more pressing concern is what to do about the Muslims to the west. The Shah is adamant that he must not endanger the planned conquest of India, so he feels disinclined towards punishing the bastard heathens for their atrocities. Perhaps when the Andhairavid Empire stretches from Delhi to the very tip of the subcontinent, and the Empire is at the peak of its existence. Perhaps then, another, bolder Andhaira, can deliver a suitable vengeance on the Persians and Uzbeks?

eu3game2011-04-3019-23-54-26.jpg


The Iranian Sikh communities are mostly concentrated along the Andhairavid borders, where Sikh cultural influence is strongest. They are very substantial communities, and have in fact been growing almost as fast as they have been diminished. The Khan is in essence delivering thousands of his own subjects to the Shah, to whom they are far more loyal.


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1702 is shaping up as a good year for the Empire. The fighting men of Andhaira have just returned home from a successful war. The treasury is full of foreign plunder, which is being used to fund construction works across the Empire. The harvest has been good, and the people are relatively contented.


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The Shah decides to invest the extra money in agricultural improvements in rural areas of Bihar. The public expected some great festivities, and while there are celebrations in the major cities, Andhaira adopts a more frugal approach. Disappointing perhaps, but in the long term his wisdom will become obviously apparent.


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Another wave of Sikh immigrants arrive, and the Shah of course welcomes them with open arms. The influx of Iranian Sikhs has helped to fuel the great Andhairavid golden age. The cities continue to swell and overflow with these industrious refugees.


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Despite the outward hostility of the Muslims, trade with the Islamic world is flourishing. The double-faced heathens understand how reliant they are on the great riches of India, and so business continues as it has for many centuries. Substantial Muslim populations are beginning to spring back up in the coastal port-cities. The initial religious fervor surrounding the early spread of Sikhism has faded somewhat, and now other religious communities are beginning to find their place in society


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The Shah, while making preparations for a campaign against the Vidyanegroes, notices that the Gondwanans have become diplomatically isolated. The Vidyanegroes were forced to withdraw their guarantee in the last war, and the other Hindu states are too afraid to act without the aid of a Kanth Raja. Andhaira decides it would be wisest to delay the Vidyanegro campaign for a month, so as to take advantage of this opportunity. The Gujarati and Bihari Hordes are moved into place. 50,000 men should be easily enough to conquer Gondwana.


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The Shah also hears word of a Vidyanegro invasion against the Ahmadnegroes. That should keep them busy while the Hordes are occupied in Gondwana.


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Confident in his plans, Andhaira X sends his declaration of war. The Hordes immediately begin marching towards the largest and most strategically important Gondwanan cities, intending to rip them out of the Raja's hands through sheer brute force. There will be no surprises here, this is simply an Imperial venture.


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The Raja of Assam follows the Shah to war, more as a symbolic gesture than anything else. Their loyalty is still appreciated. Andhaira has been given good reason to protect his Assamese cousins over the years.


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The Gondwanans lose their single port at Cuttack. The defenders try to put up a valiant fight, but faced with the overwhelming mass of Andhaira's Hordes, they last for only a few days.


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The Gujarati Horde, under command of Andhaira Andhaira, engages the Gondwanan army outside of the Raja’s capital.


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Despite the best efforts of the Raja, of the Gond dynasty (I think it’s Gond, not Gondwanan. I'll use Gond from now on), his army is annihilated. There is nothing left to stop the Hordes from barreling through the Raja’s puny Kingdom.


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The Gond capital falls to the brave men of Andhaira. The Raja is paraded through the streets, and then executed in the traditional manner, by goat.


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The Gond Prince tries desperately to make peace with the Shah. A coward, he should have died with dignity. He will be butchered and thrown to the royal Sikh attack goats.


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The last enclave of Gond resistance falls to the terrible onslaught of the Hordes.


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The Kingdom of Gondwana, after many centuries of conflict, has finally been completely and utterly destroyed. The lands of Gond are added to the great Andhairavid dominion. They may harbour dreams of independence for now, but in time those dreams will fade. There will be no Gond, nor Hinduism, there will only be Andhaira.
 

Calego

Novice
Joined
Mar 26, 2011
Messages
22
Delicious.

Religious map next update? Is Sikhism still a conversion machine?
 
Joined
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Messages
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Ah, I'll give bros you a world map and a religious map next update. Sikhism has lost momentum now. Barring a few religious minorities, North India is Sikh, and South India is Hindu. I'm not getting the Guru events anymore. Islam is a very small minority in the subcontinent now, and I think there are maybe two or three Jain minorities.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
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Location
The President of France
Here be ye update, O' Codexia. For various reasons I couldn't bring you this one yesterday.


eu3game2011-05-2407-25-43-55.jpg


The Shah busily prepares for the Vidyanegro campaign. The Delhi Horde is pulled back to the capital, to provide protection from the Muslims. A new Horde is assembled, totaling 15,000 men, mostly Baluchi or Sindhi. The new Indus Horde is also planned to have a small artillery corps, but the Shah wishes to hurry preparations along, so it will not be finished in time for the war.


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A handful of Bengali rebels have managed to carve out an independent principality from the Buddhist King of Burma. The leader of this revolt has named himself as rightful ruler of the Bengali people, and Shah of Bengal. Crushing this upstart would be pathetically easy, but if he attacked during the Vidyanegro campaign it would draw troops away from the front. Hopefully the Raja of Assam can be relied upon should this upstart attempt anything of the sort.


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The Hordes are moved into position. The majority of the Shah's forces are concentrated along the eastern front, in the former Kingdom of Gondwana. The Vidyanegroes appear to have quite a sizable force. The Shah is somewhat curious how they continue to easily bounce back after every defeat. The Hindus will not back down, and neither will the Sikhs. Crushing the Raja immediately will not be possible. The war will be a brutal grind, as the Vidyanegroes are pushed back inch by inch. A decisive victory would be welcome, but such a triumph is unlikely. The Shah doesn't even bother formally declaring war. The Andhairavid commanders are given their orders, and another great War of Peace begins.


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The Hindus of Assam faithfully answer the call to arms. They may be able to offer some genuinely useful support. At the very least, they will be able to defend the eastern border should the Bengali Kingdoms try anything.


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The main Kanth army marches into the province of Bastar. The Bihari Horde moves to meet him, but the commander decides to delay his counterattack for a month. It would be unwise to attack a fresh force, commanded by the Kanth Raja himself. A preferable strategy would be to allow attrition to weaken the Hindus first, then striking when they are diminished.


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The Indus Horde likewise retreats from Cuttack, its Commander unwilling to fight the Vidyanegroes on even terms.


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After just over a month, the Bihari Horde begins marching to see the Vidyanegroes off. The Raja has managed to keep his troops decently supplied, so attrition has not taken as heavy a toll as hoped. They are still significantly outnumbered, but victory is at the moment uncertain.


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The battle is a success. Both sides suffer roughly equal casualties, but the Vidyanegroes have lost a large number of cavalrymen, and the Andhairavid forces can reinforce while in Bastar. Andhaira Andhaira decides to press his advantage by harrying the Raja and his men as far from the border as possible, while the Gujarati Horde pushes in along the west.


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Why do these heathen mongoloids even try this sort of shit? :x


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The Vidyanegro Raja flees back to his capital, placing a Nobleman by the name of Achyota in command of his forces. This new commander manages to inflict severe casualties on the Bihari Horde, whilst minimising his own losses. The sheer momentum of the Sikh push still forces him further south. The Bihari Commander decides not to follow further, lest he risk his own ruin.


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While Andhaira Andhaira keeps the Vidyanegroes busy, the Gujarati Horde moves into Nagpur. Even if a decisive victory falls outside of the Shah's grasp, his vast numerical superiority means that it shouldn't be too difficult to keep the Hindus busy whilst continuing to occupy valuable territory.


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The Indus commander, his patience finally reaching its limits, orders his men to relieve Cuttack. He is confident in victory and his own glory. Vidyanegro leadership has begun to break down, the commander of the besieging force in Cuttack has even died of disease. The Andhairavid advantages are obvious and significant,


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The men of the Indus Horde, mostly Baluchi and Sindhi Sikhs, manage to inflict heavy casualties on the Vidyanegroes. Despite the disarray of their leadership, the Hindus stand their ground. The Indus commander is forced to pull his troops back. The defeat is called a strategic victory. The Vidyanegro forces should not be able to reinforce their losses as quickly as the Indus Horde. They will either be defeated in the next battle, or they will be forced to retreat. So the Commander says, but the Shah is not pleased by his excuses.


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While his Hordes are busy fighting along the front, the Shah concerns himself with the logistical problems of such a campaign. The Andhairavid Empire has since its inception lacked a strong naval arm with which to exert its will. Coastal defenses and anti-piracy squadrons have sufficed until now. The Vidyanegroes do have a fleet, easily capable of disrupting the important Indian Ocean trade routes. This must not be allowed to happen. A set of naval stratagems are developed, devised to avoid or hold off Vidyanegro naval raids. While the Empire is very much land-based, this reform does serve to shift the focus of the officer class somewhat towards the sea.


eu3game2011-05-2407-37-09-17.jpg


:rpgcodex:

The Indus Horde once again fails to dislodge the Vidyanegroes. This does not speak well of either the Commander nor his men. Hearing of this failure, the Shah informs the general that he will remove the Hindu interlopers, or he will be short several extremities.


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The Indus artillery corps is finally ready for action. Risking the occupation of Cuttack and the end of his career, the Indus Commander waits for a few more weeks, so that he might gain access to heavy guns.


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Back in Bastar, the Bihari Horde begins marching into Golconda. The Vidyanegroes themselves must have reinforced, but they have yet to show themselves. The Shah has personally written to the Bihari Commander, ordering that he must push against the Hindus whenever and wherever possible. Dutifully obeying his master, the Commander moves to capture Golconda, despite the risk of a Vidyanegro counterattack.


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Along the western coast of the Indian peninsula. the Gujarati Horde likewise moves to push the Andhairavid advantage.


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The Gujarati Horde easily sweeps Vidyanegro resistance aside, while the Indus Horde finally manages to remove the Vidyanegroes in Cuttack. The Indus Commander chooses to follow the Vidyanegroes, so as to please his master and to secure his career.


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With the Vidyanegroes on the run, and their Raja nowhere to be seen, the Gujarati and Bihari Hordes carve deep into the old Bahmanid lands.


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The Indus Horde succeeds in routing the Hindus at Parlakmidi, dispelling the shame of their earlier failures.


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The Raja finally shows himself. Mustering his remaining forces, the old Kanth makes a last ditch effort at removing the Andhairavid invaders. The battle is very close, the Andhairavid general even considers fleeing at one point. After much hard fighting, it becomes apparent that the battle is tipping in favour of the Goat. The Raja is reluctantly forced to flee, and the day is won.


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The Raja, his strength sapped by age and war, dies on the march. His son, an arrogant and aggressive young man, ascends to the throne of a failing dynasty. The situation is too far gone now, but the new Raja is determined to fight on.


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A pretender to the throne organises a revolt in Mysore, seeking to found his own dynasty. It is clear that the Djinn have clouded his mind. Such glory would be fleeting, with the mightiest of Empires bearing down on him. The Bihari Horde meanwhile returns to Bastar to reinforce, while the new Raja immediately attempts to reclaim Golconda.


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The Vidyanegroes are once again rebuffed. Brimming with confidence from his two victories, the Bihari Commander follows the Raja, seeking a decisive victory.


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:smug:


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Expecting Vidyanegro resistance to completely collapse after the recent triumph, the Bihari Horde assaults the great city of Bangalore. The defenders lose over half of their garrison, but their sacrifice is not in vain. The Sikh casualties are immense. The assault is ultimately a failure. The Commander is left with just enough men to maintain a siege, but the Shah will not be pleased.


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The Raja of Assam finally decides to send some troops to aid the Shah.


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Under direct orders from Andhaira X himself, the Bihari Horde begins another push against the Vidyanegroes, with the intent of capturing the Vijayanagar itself.


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But, just at the moment of his greatest triumph, the Shah's strength fails him. Having lived through the greatest age of the Andhairavids, one of unparalleled prosperity, reform and triumph, Andhaira X is now dead. The eleventh Andhaira quickly takes up his father's crown. This new Andhaira is a luxurious, cunning creature. He is hardly suited to governing such a great Empire, but nevertheless he is an Andhairavid, anointed by God and the Great Goat to rule all that his father's set their eyes upon.


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Andhaira XI, as his first act after the coronation, takes command of the Delhi Horde. A small pretender revolt has broken out in Gujarat. The blasphemer in command has somehow managed to muster 4000 other heathens. He seeks to somehow overthrow the line of Andhaira. The Shah decides to make an impression on his Gujarati subjects. Unconcerned with the logistical problems of marching 30,000 men across the width of Rajputana and Sind, the Shah orders the Horde on to Gujarat.


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The push is a success. The Vidyanegro capital is, once again, occupied. The port of Madras and the city of Bangalore are also captured, Bangalore finally succumbing to a joint assault by the Gujarati and Bihari Hordes. :thumbsup:


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With the Raja curiously absent, the Shah takes what he likes in a quite informal peace. The Raja most likely fled his capital to escape capture and execution. The Kanth dynasty will never recover from this, not while the Andhairavid line remains strong. Though Andhaira XI may perhaps be a weak link in the chain, at least compared to his great father, the Empire shows no signs of weakness or stagnation. It will be but a few decades, and all of India will answer to the Shah. :salute:
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
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Location
The President of France
As requested, here is the religious map, as well as the world map.

eu3game2011-05-2713-25-40-17.jpg


As you can see, there has been very little conversion in conquered territory.


EU3_MAP_BAL_1710724_1.jpg


There are a few notable things here. For a start, Ming has imploded. China is now actually more fractured than India. Tibet is stronger than any individual Chinese state, and Japan has united. Prussia formed from the Teutonic Order, while Brandenburg is doing very well. Britain has followed a vaguely semi-historical path of expansion, and that dark green on the heel of Arabia (Arabia is a giant boot! You will never unsee this!) is Russia. How they got there, I am unsure. The Mayans are still clinging on, as are the Incans. The Turks tastelessly raped Austria, and Russia is doing quite well.

Perhaps Codexia can perceive some wonderful weirdness that I cannot?
 
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
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Third Reich from the Sun
I'm guessing it is Umbrino or however you spell it.
Edit: You beat me to it FFF. Which makes me flamingly furious :M

France losing ground is kinda neat, they usually go all blob eating up pieces of spain and pieces of the HRE. Is that Burgundy still holding out?
 

Calego

Novice
Joined
Mar 26, 2011
Messages
22
Things must be a little tense in Goa. Though overall, the Pork'n'Cheesers seem to be doing pretty well.
 
Joined
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Messages
935
Location
The President of France
Calego said:
Things must be a little tense in Goa. Though overall, the Pork'n'Cheesers seem to be doing pretty well.


What is a "Pork'n'Cheeser"? I'm always looking for more derogatory slang to add to my vocabulary.


I think that's Burgundy, they're probably only alive because of guarantees by powers that want to contain France, or possibly because France no longer has any cores on them.
 

Calego

Novice
Joined
Mar 26, 2011
Messages
22
It's a term for the Portuguese. I'm not sure whether it's derogatory or not. A few Maltese folk that I knew tossed it around during the World Cup one time, and it didn't seem like too big a deal. As in, they didn't go on a pogrom or anything afterward.

No offence intended, resident Pork'n'Cheesers!


Edit: Apparently it isn't used much outside of the heavily Portuguese part of Canada.
 

Drakron

Arcane
Joined
May 19, 2005
Messages
6,326
Calego said:
Edit: Apparently it isn't used much outside of the heavily Portuguese part of Canada.

Well *I* certainly never heard of it, Google only shows 6 pages.

Its a bit ... strange as there are cheeses in Portugal its not something I think we are known for and pork? I dont think we even have much of a pork tradition besides a few regional dishes , sure we eat it but we are a catholic country so barring human flesh everything is A-OK.
 

Qah

Educated
Joined
Aug 21, 2009
Messages
132
Good shit bum. In my latest EU game, I have transferred Morea into a major power and have formed Greece, I am contemplating recreating the empire of Alexander.
 

Fafnir

Liturgist
Patron
Joined
Jun 1, 2009
Messages
876
Location
Sweden
Grab the Codex by the pussy
Qah said:
Good shit bum. In my latest EU game, I have transferred Morea into a major power and have formed Greece, I am contemplating recreating the empire of Alexander.

You should and then declare yourself Emperor Alexander in honour of his legacy!
 

Qah

Educated
Joined
Aug 21, 2009
Messages
132
It sure as hell wont be easy, I have about 250 years to spread from the western coast of Anatolia to the gates of India, all the while trying to modernize (I have the -20% tech modifier) and fending off the hordes of the ottomans, mamluks, and the various persian empires. Good news is that I am now the premier naval power of the Mediterranean.
 

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