Match 26!
Lads...I never thought I'd say this, but...I'm proud of you. You are no longer scum-sucking festering pieces of putrescence. No...
...instead you upgraded to barely sentient pansy-assed wusses!!! You think you're something because you can squash a bunch of half-wit teams? Well think again! Next match is against the dwarves, and I want to see EVERYTHING out there. Touchdowns! Blood! Injuries! KOs! Fouls! If by the end of this match the dwarves aren't beaten, bruised and preferably dead, I'll send you all on training camp...to Waziristan!
Welp, you heard coach. Better win, and win good.
So, the Purity Cup final is against the Dwarf Giants. We're 2-2 for playing them in finals so I'm not exactly nervous. Boy they have a stocked roster, though, evidenced by their relatively low inducement (480K), but they can still afford their standard buys; bribe the ref, extra re-roll, troll slayer star player.
Playing in Orc stadium.
I win the coinflip and elect to receive the ball. We get a "Get the Ref" event, so free fouling this entire half!
Boom! And immediately in Jim Cojones injures a troll slayer. He's apothecaried back.
I love a good foul. Not rolling up any nice injuries on 'em, tho'
They're showing pretty strong blitz, so I zig-zagged Biz (using him as a ball carrier despite his abundance of SPP to minimize risk on this final game) to the right side, and then down the middle.
You can see two pockets of brawling, one on the left side and one right side deep. Jim Cojones is just finishing off Valamin there.
HanoverF pushes another player off the pitch. Not making much of a dent in their roster, they've got about 16 players to rotate.
"Touchdown, me!"
"No, touchdown, me!"
"Why, one of these days, head2, POW, right to the moon"
I completely pile up on the star player here at the end of the first half to maximize my final free fouling opportunity. No luck, tho', not even a KO.
Half-time!
Kicking off again. They've got two injuries and one KO (3 recovered), so they're easily still fielding 11, including their three troll slayers.
I get a blitz! event, and kingcomrade capitalizes on the opportunity by injuring a dwarf.
Taking care...
...of bidnis.
kingcomrade blitzes in, downs the dwarf and picks up the ball! Awesomesauce, comrade!
He's still got a dwarf covering him, but...uh...that dwarf runs away for some reason. The hell you up to, AI?
Jim decides to punish such foolishness, albeit on another dwarf.
urf urf urf
They got 5 injured players now, no KOs, so they STILL field 11. Tough little bastards.
I roll up another blitz, and kingcomrade and Rabidredneck make short work of the right side protection. They got some protection up for the runner, but nothing kingcomrade can't blitz around.
Bang, another dwarf down.
Hey, look, a ball.
Dwarves? A word of advice: PANIC.
No not the kind of panic that allows me to injure YET ANOTHER dwarf, you dopes.
Note: all they seem to roll are "pushed" when blocking, including this blitz attempt on kingcomrade. Lucky me, I guess.
Flurp flurp flurp.
You guys doing alright? Note that they haven't even KOd or injured a single one of my players so far.
Ok, so get this: not only are they fielding only 9 players, but we took out both the runners, so they have to put a troll slayer in the backfield. AND not only that, but we roll up a rock-throwing event. Silellak is put down, but only stunned. The troll slayer put in the backfield to pick up the ball is not so lucky, and is KOd. Can I get a pair of lollerskates? 'coz I'm rolling all up and down their asses.
orly?
yarly
HUMILIATIONS GALORE!
The cheerleaders are going nuts! WITH PAIN!
Oh man. That hurts just to look at.
50% ball possession, 91% possession of opposition half
4 TDs
4 tackles, 5 KOs, 7 injuries, none sustained
*winces*
Painful.
A metric ton of SPPs follow, including a whopping 10 for kingcomrade (2 injuries, 2 TDs). It's an outrage he was not made MVP!
Congrarurations indeed.
Ogg Jr levels up and gains tackle. Bizarelly, it's the only level up.
Competition, career stats and team roster coming up next update.
The last word belongs to the coach
...
You did well.
