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KickStarter Darkest Dungeon AKA the Celerity Attention Whore Thread

Discussion in 'General RPG Discussion' started by Infinitron, Jan 19, 2016.

  1. Invictus Arcane The Real Fanboy

    Invictus
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    Divinity: Original Sin 2
    Somebody put that sad little clown out of his misery, I sincerly hope he is trying to troll us with his response
    Hell show me somebody anybody who has out half the hours you have in a game they loathe like you supposedly do, we keep trolling you and you keep coming back because you cannot let go buddy, you are such a pathetic coackroach than you cannot live with just walking away and leaving us to enjoy the fucking game, every time I want to post something about the game I run into walls of text of your retardness
    Bet DU is going all Vader Noooo because you wont do Darkest review
    But please show us your deep power of logic you vulcan overlord modder you
     
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  2. mondblut Arcane

    mondblut
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    :notsureifserious:

    Nigga, please. That's the first time I see the games whose formulae are supposed to be computed by a bunch of dorks in realtime accused of having more complex mechanics than the games whose mechanics are calculated by a fucking computer capable of doing millions of operations per tick. Whatever advantages tabletop RPGs have over CRPGs (and they have a plenty), they are most certainly not mechanical. :obviously:
     
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  3. Beastro Arcane

    Beastro
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    You're constant use of "Derpest" as it's name, instead of a sly little jab at the game used in moderation, has become very, very derp.
     
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  4. Mustawd Arcane

    Mustawd
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    I take back what I said about reading a review. This guy obviously can't write something that's not a raving rant in the form of a wall of text. Can we give this guy the Typical Modder tag already?
     
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  5. Celerity Takes 1337 hours to realise it's shit. Village Idiot Possibly Retarded

    Celerity
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    cRPG mechanics: Pick from a small number of options, many of which are obviously good or bad.
    PnP mechanics: Pick from a very large number of options (literally thousands of pages worth). Some are obviously good or bad, many however require a high level understanding of the system before you can assess them at all. See: The various idiots calling "Monkey Grip" overpowered, when it mathematically reduces your damage.

    Just one game changing ability, like flight from a PnP RPG adds far more than the entirety of most cRPGs, and this is very obvious when the cRPGs are allegedly built on PnP like rules, but because enemies just stand there on the ground and melee you and let you melee them instead of the invisible, flying ganksquads that emergent gameplay would naturally generate it's actually nothing like that at all.

    And Derpest Dungeon is its true name so I'll use it constantly.
     
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  6. Jick Magger Arcane Patron

    Jick Magger
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    PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria
    Do you see what I mean? The man is utterly obsessed. First he was here to prove how corrupt Red Hook was, then he was here to prove how shit the game is, and now he's here because "THOSE DANG DIRTY TROLLS KEEP PROVOKING ME :( Now let me just post another wall of text about why the game is shit while I'm here...". Darkest Dungeon is his white whale.

    Celerity, let me spell this out for you: the only way this is gonna stop is if you stop taking the bait. You lost your chance to stop being an object of ridicule around twenty pages ago (Was it when it was revealed you've invested over a thousand hours into something you obsessively hate, or when you started resorting to referring to the game as 'Derpest Dungeon', demonstrating your vast intelligence by resorting to grade-school namecalling? Who knows!), your clearly unhealthy obsession with the game has ensured that everyone who would have taken you seriously has written you off as a crazy, and you gain absolutely nothing by continuing to post here but further humiliation and blows to your already shattered reputation. You've made it obvious that for all your grand-standing about how intelligent you are, all it really takes is a couple of petty insults to stir you in to an autistic fury. Why don't you actually demonstrate this intelligence and just walk away?

    Show Spoiler
    But of course you won't, because despite all your grand-standing, you're just a sad little man who won't admit that all the time he's dedicated to something he hates was for nothing.
     
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  7. Lios Arbiter

    Lios
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    screw Darkest Dungeon, somebody should write a review of Celerity instead
     
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  8. Mustawd Arcane

    Mustawd
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    :1/5:

    Review complete. Brofist me.
     
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  9. mondblut Arcane

    mondblut
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    Ok, this is semantics of what exactly "mechanics" stands for. I treat the word as umbrella term for the math model behind the game, which computers obviously do better. You treat it wider.
     
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  10. Beastro Arcane

    Beastro
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    :flamesaw:
     
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  11. Lujo Scholar

    Lujo
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    Yeah, I for all the simpathy and understanding I may have for the guy, I think he needs an intervention IRL. Really. If he's put in that many hours into the game, coupled with the language use (the "derpest" thing is very childish), kinda points to the fact that he's either in school or in college, and what he's done and is still doing is a good way to fail either and fuck your life up good. And if he's in school or college, he's probably messed up and RL is catching up with him (I know what that's like), so he's probably more irrational than he'd usually be. So I'm telling you guys, rename the thread, give him a non provoking tag and stop pushing his buttons. If he can't control himself, you guys can. And I'll stop, too, ofc.
     
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  12. Beautiful Clown Painting Arcane

    Beautiful Clown Painting
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    Leave Celerity alone, people. Let him rant and rave like a lunatic if he feels the need to do so.
    As for me, I see him as pretty articulate, out of his mind and a pretty good troll. But I could describe myself in the exact same terms (except for the troll part, it requires too much energy and I have other things to do).
    At least he adresses issues which are flinged at him, not like some Cleve who flees on a tangent and on an absolutely non-related subject as soon as he's challenged.

    To come back to the first function of this thread: it seems that the codex concensus on this game is that it's good for what it is and made for rather casual gamers. But I ask you, bros, is it fun enough (even through its shitty casual nature) to deserve its actual price?
     
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  13. Invictus Arcane The Real Fanboy

    Invictus
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    Definetly worth its prize, the game is abit grindy but good fun in short 60 minute bursts, the devs are constantly updating and will probably become a bit less grindy with time but very much a good fun uncomplicated game
     
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  14. Celerity Takes 1337 hours to realise it's shit. Village Idiot Possibly Retarded

    Celerity
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    All your grandstanding and posturing and insults mean nothing, the facts speak for themselves. I leave for a while and would you look at that, 4 responses all directed at me specifically! Actions speak louder than words, you'll understand when you move out of your mother's basement.

    "Derpest Dungeon" is a fine name, it concisely describes what it's about in a snarky way. It's just as childish and simplistic as the game itself, which I did not spend 1,337 hours on by the way. Time spent on Rekt Hook's walking simulator =/= time spent on the real game I made from it. I loved what I made, but I'm not reviewing that. Speaking of reviews, I did one. It's there when the Codex quits being fucktarded and honors my terms.

    mondblut I think it's an important distinction. There is such a thing as a fundamentally flawed mechanic. Either a case of "No matter how good you are at x, x is not relevant (mechnically effective) in this system, it is a trap." or "
    No matter how good you are at x, x is not relevant (situationally useful) in this system, it is a trap." PnP is full of hard counter mechanics, flight being an obvious example. All those enemies with +fuck off melee numbers but no range abilities and no flight? You fly over them, or auto win if you have ranged attacks yourself. Seriously, anyone that claims a PnP game is less mechanically complex than a CRPG has never made a non spellcaster in D&D 3.5 actually contribute in or out of combat. That shit about memorizing thousands of pages of rules is not even hyperbole. It is an actual requirement.

    Beautiful Clown Painting I say if you wanna grind on 5 hours of content for 80 hours for 25 dollars that badly I'm sure you can find a blonde prostitute somewhere, and you'll probably come out better from the encounter.
     
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  15. mondblut Arcane

    mondblut
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    Thing is, this shit is not in the rules, that's why it is not mechanics in my book. So you say, "i cast flight, rise 100 feet above those orcs and start throwing feces at them". DM thinks and says, "orcs curse, wipe off your feces and hide behind the cover of trees". The game does not check whether you can actually produce feces. The game does not check whether your feces hit the orcs, and even if they do, orcs got no morality points to be removed with feces damage, nor do feces have a morality damage value, nor do the orcs have a morality points threshold value when they retreat. Heck, there probably weren't even the trees until DM said so. It's all pure DM fiat, not mechanics. And if you replace feces with a plain old ranged attack or escape which are written down in the rules, a plenty of computer games have implemented that, from Master of Magic to Ravenloft: Stone Prophet. If it's in the rules, computer games can and will, when useful for a game in question, implement that. The bread and butter of tabletop RPGs is what is not in the mechanics.

    See, I use the words "rules" and "mechanics" interchangeably.
     
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  16. Beastro Arcane

    Beastro
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    And this kind of thing is the reason why. You keeping biting and making it worthwhile to further rile you up.

    It also doesn't help that you have an air of trying too hard and could deflect a ton of shit if you'd only act a bit more understated and not openly question why everyone is directing their antics in your direction.

    I know school these days is shit, but I'd at least think besides the toilet level education there's enough social interaction still left for kids to pick up on this kind of stuff, or have smart phones fucked this up now?
     
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  17. Celerity Takes 1337 hours to realise it's shit. Village Idiot Possibly Retarded

    Celerity
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    mondblut I said ranged attacks. There absolutely are rules for bows, and slings, and javelins and so on. They cannot engage you, you can engage them, so you can take your free win if you want it or just keep going. It's why scope of adventure is also a thing, you're not just fighting level 20 bandits in the woods at level 20 like in a CRPG. But if you wanna troll, the shit is an improvised, nonproficient weapon so you take a -8 accuracy and deal no damage. :troll: Also, earlier editions DID have morale rules, but I'm assuming 3.5 which does not.

    CRPGs so greatly dumb down anything that doesn't have direct combat applications that high level encounters are just low level encounters with bigger numbers in almost every case and there's still nothing like even those sorts of hard counters.

    And anything about me being exaggerated falls flat for the simple reason this started as a normal conversation, then people had a sudden personality shift, triggered by the admission that I was a modder. Filled with traumatic, PTSD style flashbacks of @Drog pounding it in them, everyone freaked the fuck out and turned hostile and by the time I got my confusion at the board's own schizo sorted the damage was already done and we're stuck in troll mode. Me, because that's the only way I interact with idiots and you because all that talk about autism and schizophrenia and basements is probably you having a lovely chat with your mirror, then psychologically displacing all of that on me. Regardless, you're nothing more than a source of entertainment for me and you do that very well, I constantly have a smile on my face after a little no effort trolling makes you all rage. After all, you can't see through the surface of this walking simulator the game's allegedly about, so it's only natural you can't see through my troll persona either and think I'm actually a kid or some shit.
     
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  18. Mustawd Arcane

    Mustawd
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    It's like watching a younger version of mondblut debate the current version of mondblut. Eerie...
     
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  19. mondblut Arcane

    mondblut
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    Even though the fundamental creed was the same, younger version of mondblut used to be a lot more larping-friendly. More simulationist, less powergamer. It took the 2000s to show the oblivion whither this road leads. :negative:
     
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  20. Celerity Takes 1337 hours to realise it's shit. Village Idiot Possibly Retarded

    Celerity
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    People are also assuming they know a great deal about me that they do not. Still, discussing the differences between PnP and CRPGs is vastly more interesting than anything Derpest related. Just think, something positive finally came from Fallout trolling. Which I'd most likely not like anyways because shit mechanics.
     
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  21. Mustawd Arcane

    Mustawd
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    Go fucking die in a fire you piece of shit. I hope you get anal warts from when your dad anal rapes you every night. And then I hope your tranny mom gets it when she fucks you in the ass.
     
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  22. Invictus Arcane The Real Fanboy

    Invictus
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    Bite tour tongue mondblut is a fucking eminence is RPG mechanics, like the time he worked out the character systems and troubleshoot for Grimoire. Hell even Mr Blakemore was impressed and it helped him a lot during bug testing
    Celerity has done shit and talks out of his ass half the time with his "I am smarter than you" Sheldon Cooper pose
    I was about to post how the new patch made the PDs blight a bit stronger and comment on some actual game mechanics but seems Celerity's thread is about anything but Darkest Dungeon
     
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  23. Celerity Takes 1337 hours to realise it's shit. Village Idiot Possibly Retarded

    Celerity
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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    :troll:

    Gotta love them basement dwellers that can't separate objectivity from subjectivity! So much fun, and trolling them is so very easy! PS: Divinity has shit mechanics.
     
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  24. Ivan Arcane

    Ivan
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    no fun allowed
     
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  25. Celerity Takes 1337 hours to realise it's shit. Village Idiot Possibly Retarded

    Celerity
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    This is a test of the Celerity trolling system.
     
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