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Let's LARP the Emperor's Finest - a wh40k IF

Discussion in 'Choose Your Own Adventure Land' started by Holy Cow, Jun 22, 2012.

  1. Holy Cow Guest

    Holy Cow
    It is the 41st Millennium. For more than a hundred centuries The Emperor has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth. He is the Master of Mankind by the will of the gods, and master of a million worlds by the might of his inexhaustible armies. He is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Technology. He is the Carrion Lord of the Imperium for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day, so that he may never truly die.​
    Yet even in his deathless state, the Emperor continues his eternal vigilance. Mighty battlefleets cross the daemon-infested miasma of the Warp, the only route between distant stars, their way lit by the Astronomican, the psychic manifestation of the Emperor's will. Vast armies give battle in his name on uncounted worlds. Greatest amongst his soldiers are the Adeptus Astartes, the Space Marines, bio-engineered super-warriors. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Imperial Guard and countless planetary defence forces, the ever vigilant Inquisition and the tech-priests of the Adeptus Mechanicus to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat from aliens, heretics, mutants - and worse.​
    To be a man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for so much has been forgotten, never to be re-learned. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim darkness of the far future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.​
    CHARACTER SHEET (DECEASED)

    Show Spoiler
    Profile
    Name: Cassius Schaefer
    Age: 37 years, solar.
    Rank: Captain
    Commander of the 10th Mechanized Infantry Company, 31st Expeditionary Regiment of the Armageddon Steel Legion
    Earned his captain’s stripes in the second war for Armageddon
    Demoted to private of the medicae corps after the Calixis Incident (Classified)
    Reinstated as Captain during the Campaign of Gloria Macharia

    Characteristics of note:
    Exceptional hand-to-hand combatant
    Able Field Medicae
    Able strategist
    Extremely conditioned physique
    Left arm has been replaced with an augmetic
    Exceptional Willpower

    Equipment:
    Officer-issue laspistol and lasgun
    Carapace breastplace
    Flak Greatcoat and helmet, respirator attached
    Old Eviscerator (no pattern markings)

    Traits:
    WITCHESBANE
    Only the most gifted of psykers or the most terrible of daemons would be able to pierce the barrier you’ve erected around your mind. Your faith is unfailing and after what you’ve been through, seeing through the lies of the lesser servants of the Great Enemy has become a trivial thing. You can resist all but the most powerful witchcraft.

    Current moral tendency:
    Zealous Hatred

    Corruption points:
    7

    Fatepoints:
    1

    Prologue
    1. INTRODUCTION
    2. MEET THE COMMISSAR
    3. In which shit blows up
    4. Choose your next words with exceptional care
    5. The Commissariat, irony and you
    6. Paddling up shit creek
    7. Welcome to crazytown
    8. Everything burns
    Act I: The Guardsman
    1. In the chambers of power
    2. Glory for the first man to die!
    3. Character generation
    4. The Inquisition requires naught but your mindless obedience
    5. Ground Zero
    6. Corruption of the flesh
    7. A moment of weakness spawns a lifetime of Heresy
    8. Betrayal!
    9. The rotten core
    10. Suffer not the Witch.
    11. The keenest blade is Righteous Hatred
    12. Redemption
    13. Odds and ends
    14. Forlorn Hope
    15. Battle is joined
    16. Dark days are here
    Act II: The Officer
    1. The Guardsman's lot
    2. The Munitorum and you: What the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer doesn't want you to know.
    3. BLACK HOLDS REVISITED
    4. The Drunkard's Walk
    5. There and Back Again
    6. Crossroads
    7. The Traitor's Hand
    8. Darksider
    9. An end to things
    10. Bloodied and Bowed
    Fluff and Whatnot
    1. Moira
    Act III: Only War
    1. Killing Fields
    2. Long Odds
    3. Underground
    4. Tremors
    5. Remnants

    +++IMPERIAL DATA ENTRY M41.874---PACIFICATION OF DEATH WORLD DESIGNATED 31-12+++
    ++++ASSIGNED TO 31st EXPEDITIONARY FLEET OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD+++
    +++MARKED CONFIDENTIAL---INQUISITOR’S EYES ONLY+++
    +++THE EMPEROR PROTECTS+++
    The toxic rain hasn’t let up for months. Enviro-suits have stopped working; respirators clogged up, the protective wards of the Mechanicum corroded and the vac-seals burned through. All you can do is bundle up in your heavy flak uniform to protect yourself from the decay that’s touched everything else in this blasted world. You’re fairly sure your lungs are halfway gone by now, and the bits of your flesh that aren’t covered in sores have taken on a grey pallor. You look half-dead; you feel deader than that. It’s been a while since you’ve left the trenches and the shelter the makeshift bunkers offer, but rations are running out and it’ll be a matter of days until a sortie’s needed to replenish the company’s stocks. The situation became quite chaotic after the quartermaster took a las shot through the skull. Friendly fire, since there’s been no other kind lately. He had a hidden stash of quality gear, you heard the privates say. Well, better quality gear than the shit Munitorum’s supplied the company at any rate. Given the situation, whoever took the loot will probably die before they get a chance to use it.​
    You light a lho-stick and take a deep drag; puffing hard and inhaling through the nose, burning your nostrils and hopefully your sense of smell. There’s a soaked private outside the bunker putting to the flame another batch of casualties. You take another drag from the lho-stick. Somebody passes you a hip flask. Weren’t you all out of liquor? Seems not. You take a swig and pass it on after a fit of coughing. You start mentally assessing the situation: The company’s down to a quarter strength and only a tenth of that is due to enemy action. Soldiers have been dying to disease and chemical fumes, not combat. Hell, nobody’s even seen any combat in weeks. Most likely the enemy’s doing the same as you, wasting away under this warp-spawned weather​
    You make your way back to the barracks from the rec bunker, wondering if someone’s pissed on your sleeping mat again. The small chest with your possessions and the token you’ve taken from the campaign at 31-10 is intact, and the mat seems dry. You sit down wearily and start cleaning your lasgun. It’s not long before someone comes to snap you out of it, saying the Colonel wants a word. You nod to the messenger, sigh, and reassemble your lasgun as slowly as possible. He motions for you to get up and follow him.​
    However, Before you meet the colonel, there are some things you ought to make sure. Just so you know you have your wits about you. This campaign’s taking its toll, after all.​
    Was it you that killed the quartermaster and stole his belongings?
    Yes/No​
    What is the token you have from your previous campaign at 31-10?
    a) An eldar shuriken pistol with no ammo​
    b) A broken servoskull that belonged to a Heretek​
    c) The skull of an especially ferocious Ork Nob​
    d) The broken hilt of an Astartes Chainsword that belonged to the Traitor Legions​
    e) A smooth, black sphere of presumably xenos origin.​
    And finally, why would the Colonel want to have a word with a:
    1) Conscript 2) Enlisted Man 3) Officer​
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 8
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  2. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Messages:
    7,826
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    Well then! Once more into the fray, eh?
    Alright, I'm game. :salute:

    1, yes
    2, e
    3, 2
     
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  3. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

    Self-Ejected
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2010
    Messages:
    20,233
    Location:
    DiNMRK
    Did... we just stick a cigeratte up our nose and inhale? :lol:

    1: Yes
    2: B
    3: 1
     
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  4. Jaedar Arcane Patron

    Jaedar
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2009
    Messages:
    5,889
    Project: Eternity Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Hmm. Shuriken pistol will only get us shot by a friendly commisar. An ork nob head though, that's useful for intimidation, and we can plant it in the ground to farm some orks/squigs for eating

    1, yes
    2, c
    3, 2
     
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  5. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Messages:
    7,826
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    True that, if I remember my WH40K lore correctly, the orks are basically sentient and highly mobile fungus. Should make for a tasty soup. [​IMG]
     
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  6. Commissar Draco KKKodex WCDS Commissar Patron

    Commissar Draco
    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2011
    Messages:
    16,124
    Location:
    Привислинский край
    Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Divinity: Original Sin 2
    All those artifacts except Orc head would get you shot by Commissar ... unless You're Commissar yourself. :smug:

    1) Yes (everybody likes good loot)
    2) C good for bulling others morale improvement
    3) 3 Let's be :obviously:
     
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  7. Hoodoo It gets passed around. Dumbfuck

    Hoodoo
    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2009
    Messages:
    6,672
    1
    e
    3
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 1
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  8. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2008
    Messages:
    11,101
    Codex 2012
    Yes. C. 3.

    Root's back in business, baby, and business is a-boomin.
     
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  9. eklektyk Erudite

    eklektyk
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2010
    Messages:
    1,738
    Location:
    mexico of europe
    yes
    b
    3

    well, this ought to be funn :popcorn:
     
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  10. Zero Credibility Arcane

    Zero Credibility
    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2007
    Messages:
    2,795
    no - too risky if somebody knows / suspects us - I'd rather be the guy that shot the guy that shot the quartermaster (and then took all his stuff)
    b - sounds marginally more useful then other choices
    3 - the :obviously: choice
     
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  11. Renegen Arcane

    Renegen
    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    4,059
    no
    c
    2
     
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  12. CappenVarra phantasmist Patron

    CappenVarra
    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2011
    Messages:
    2,156
    Location:
    Ardamai
    nah
    d
    1
     
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  13. Darth Roxor Prestigious Gentleman Wielder of the Huegpenis

    Darth Roxor
    Joined:
    May 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,872,181
    Location:
    Djibouti
    This

    As for the rest:

    2. Shuriken pistol sounds like propa loot that someone would take.

    3. CONSCRIPT REPORTING. FOR MOTHER RUSSIA!!!!
     
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  14. Kayerts Arcane

    Kayerts
    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    879
    An excellent reason to not trust the skull.

    Yes
    E sounds like it has a wonderful potential to doom us horribly later on.
    3 because being middle management in this situation means everyone hates us.
     
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  15. Hellraiser Arcane

    Hellraiser
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2007
    Messages:
    7,987
    Location:
    Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
    No, E, 3

    We are a :obviously: officer dabbling in the fine art of killing xenos and taking their crap. That and the orb will fuck us over somehow, which is another reason to take it.
     
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  16. CappenVarra phantasmist Patron

    CappenVarra
    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2011
    Messages:
    2,156
    Location:
    Ardamai
    Oh, and I almost forgot:

    Devour Soul
     
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  17. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2010
    Messages:
    4,716
    Yes, B, 2

    I'm in the mood for playing a more aggressive bro than a :obviously: type. A disobedient motherfucker who shoots his superiors and has a shitload of contraband in his quarters. Sounds like a blast.
     
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  18. Hellraiser Arcane

    Hellraiser
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2007
    Messages:
    7,987
    Location:
    Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
    Renegade Shepard, loyal servant of the Emperah and a pain in the ass of Commisars all over the Imperium. Lover of Eldar females, loose cannon extraordinare.

    Yeah sound like fucking collar-grabbing :decline: to me.
     
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  19. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2010
    Messages:
    4,716
    We play stuffy monocles all the time in these IF's. Why not an EXTREME bro for a change? Trying to stay one step ahead of the higher-ups would also be cool.

    Not a big deal though, Commissar will still be lotsa fun and I have faith in root.

    Renegen: Fair enough. I'll drop it.
     
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  20. Renegen Arcane

    Renegen
    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    4,059
    Or how about not taking part in every IF and bowling others your own way?
     
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  21. Running Fox Educated Queued

    Running Fox
    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2012
    Messages:
    328
    Location:
    K-278, БЧ-2
    Was it you that killed the quartermaster and stole his belongings?
    Yes

    What is the token you have from your previous campaign at 31-10?
    d) The broken hilt of an Astartes Chainsword that belonged to the Traitor Legions

    And finally, why would the Colonel want to have a word with a:
    1) Conscript

    The lowest of the low soldierboys destined to be a WARP champion!
    CHAOS JUDGES ITS SERVANTS ON MERIT AND SKILL ALONE AND REWARDS THEM PLENTY FOR THEIR TRIUMPHS AND HARSHLY BUT FAIRLY FOR THE FAILURES!
    CHAOS UNDIVIDED!!!
     
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  22. Quetzacoatl Liturgist

    Quetzacoatl
    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2011
    Messages:
    1,794
    Location:
    Aztlán
    No
    B
    3
     
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  23. Excidium P. banal

    Self-Ejected
    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2009
    Messages:
    13,693
    Location:
    Third World
    No
    e) So mysterious!!
    1
     
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  24. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2008
    Messages:
    6,596
    Location:
    Neverwhere
    Was it you that killed the quartermaster and stole his belongings?
    Fuck No, we don't want it to be a short adventure.
    What is the token you have from your previous campaign at 31-10?

    b) A broken servoskull that belonged to a Heretek, because it could help us to get new Techpriest "friends"

    And finally, why would the Colonel want to have a word with a:
    1) Conscript, the Codex did a poor job whenever it was given a bit of power.
    Also, in a (somewhat) related note:
    http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/edge_news.asp?eidn=3368
     
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