undead dolphin hacker
Liturgist
What's wrong with me? Ultima VII is supposed to be the grand RPG masterpiece, rivaled by giants like Torment and Fallout, but according to grognards, not overcome.
I've got The Complete Ultima 7 on its original CD release. No idea where it came from or how I got it. I have a vague memory of a Classics Pack or something, but I would have been... maybe 13 or 14 when I saw it in Wal-Mart as I went to buy Might and Magic 6 and Mechwarrior 2 with my good grades money, but I doubt I bought it then.
Anyway, so there's this CD staring at me, and it's been staring at me for years.
Every so often I give in and install. The intro is campy but the initial MIDI is spine-tingling.
I answer the tarot shit and land in the town. Recruit the old man. Inspect the murder scene, find... a key, was it? Go into the blacksmith's, wonder why shit is flying around and why my guy just threw up, I guess a vomit ghost? Go to the northwest house and open the box, get the cult amulet or whatever. Recruit the kid at the same time. Go answer Lord British's copy protection quiz, finally leave the town.
The game is jerky as hell, not in terms of FPS, but in terms of there being maybe two frames of animation. Also it's in 320x200 so it looks like a busy petri dish most of the time, but eventually the eyes adjust.
Several times I would turn on a debug hack that let me move anything and go into the cheat room. Use the warp map to explore shit like the island under the compass rose, or just warp into Britain. Get the super spell book and fuck around with it, cast Armageddon and see Lord British qq at me. Pick up stuff like parts of walls or the observatory's telescope and carry them around with me in my microsize bag of holding.
When I decide to play for real, I wander around aimlessly. I think I saw a moon portal once, and have some vague memory of it landing me on a pirate island or some bullshit. One time I met a travelling band of actors or something.
The ending was always the same. A deer or something (I can't make it out) charges at me and the busy petri dish goes into hyperdrive. Suddenly the little boy and the old man are chunks of bloody meat, I either run away or share their fate shortly after.
And I quit, because it's totally fucking ridiculous.
I know about Exult, but last I heard it breaks the game by making you see stuff you're not supposed to and thus triggers events before they should happen based on your position. I also heard the "virtues" or whatever didn't work, so there was no consequences or NPC reactions for stealing.
I can put up with clunky RPG design. Ultima 4 made sense. Natuk, POWS, Helherron too. World of Xeen was and is dandy. I'm learning Realms of Arkania but can see I'll be able to outwrestle it.
But I just can't find a way to enjoy Ultima 7. Combat is over before I know it's begun. My guys skate along the ground and seem to be moving way too fast than they should be. Nothing is explained or elaborated on, what the fuck was that vomit ghost? Why does some booming voice randomly say shit to me or laugh?
I've got The Complete Ultima 7 on its original CD release. No idea where it came from or how I got it. I have a vague memory of a Classics Pack or something, but I would have been... maybe 13 or 14 when I saw it in Wal-Mart as I went to buy Might and Magic 6 and Mechwarrior 2 with my good grades money, but I doubt I bought it then.
Anyway, so there's this CD staring at me, and it's been staring at me for years.
Every so often I give in and install. The intro is campy but the initial MIDI is spine-tingling.
I answer the tarot shit and land in the town. Recruit the old man. Inspect the murder scene, find... a key, was it? Go into the blacksmith's, wonder why shit is flying around and why my guy just threw up, I guess a vomit ghost? Go to the northwest house and open the box, get the cult amulet or whatever. Recruit the kid at the same time. Go answer Lord British's copy protection quiz, finally leave the town.
The game is jerky as hell, not in terms of FPS, but in terms of there being maybe two frames of animation. Also it's in 320x200 so it looks like a busy petri dish most of the time, but eventually the eyes adjust.
Several times I would turn on a debug hack that let me move anything and go into the cheat room. Use the warp map to explore shit like the island under the compass rose, or just warp into Britain. Get the super spell book and fuck around with it, cast Armageddon and see Lord British qq at me. Pick up stuff like parts of walls or the observatory's telescope and carry them around with me in my microsize bag of holding.
When I decide to play for real, I wander around aimlessly. I think I saw a moon portal once, and have some vague memory of it landing me on a pirate island or some bullshit. One time I met a travelling band of actors or something.
The ending was always the same. A deer or something (I can't make it out) charges at me and the busy petri dish goes into hyperdrive. Suddenly the little boy and the old man are chunks of bloody meat, I either run away or share their fate shortly after.
And I quit, because it's totally fucking ridiculous.
I know about Exult, but last I heard it breaks the game by making you see stuff you're not supposed to and thus triggers events before they should happen based on your position. I also heard the "virtues" or whatever didn't work, so there was no consequences or NPC reactions for stealing.
I can put up with clunky RPG design. Ultima 4 made sense. Natuk, POWS, Helherron too. World of Xeen was and is dandy. I'm learning Realms of Arkania but can see I'll be able to outwrestle it.
But I just can't find a way to enjoy Ultima 7. Combat is over before I know it's begun. My guys skate along the ground and seem to be moving way too fast than they should be. Nothing is explained or elaborated on, what the fuck was that vomit ghost? Why does some booming voice randomly say shit to me or laugh?