Game News Mass Effect 3 - Shepard is Our Only Hope

[Serious_Business]

How the fuck did they get away with calling the main character Shepard? It's almost as retarded as calling him LEADAR instead of Leader. I guess you can't tell a story to the consoletards unless the plot is retardedly obvious: HE IS LIKE JESUS. HE SAVES. $50 PLOX.

FUCK YOU GOETHE THIS IS THE 21TH CENTURY WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINk

ADAPT OR SHUT THE FUCK UP DICKWEED

HELL

SHEPERD IS HERE FAGGOTS GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WYA

 

[oneself]

Despite the urgency, he will still have time for some mass effect romance

 

[Freelance Henchman]

Can you imagine the rage if Shepard had so little time to get the saving done that there wouldn't even be an opportunity to snog Tali in the engine room?

 

[Cthulhugoat]

shepard dies in the end

 

[grotsnik]

shepard dies at the beginning. Then wakes up again with fresh stats.

Er, fixed.

 

[lisac2k]

Despite the urgency, he will still have time for some mass effect romance

Can you imagine the rage if Shepard had so little time to get the saving done that there wouldn't even be an opportunity to snog Tali in the engine room?

Normandy still takes time to get anywhere, and the crew may organise an orgy whenever they want, since nobody can prove anything due to the ship's awesome stealth technology.

 

[SolipsisticUrge]

There better be an option to romance a Reaper. Convince it of the error of the "organic life is inherently flawed and we are the pinnacle of evolution" mindset with some good ol' Shepard lovin'.

 

[Sceptic]

The first Mass Effect had these weird dreams whenever you found ancient beacons. IMO, they were reasonably well done; freaky, distorted, really vague.

It was cool the first time. After the 4th viewing or so it got a bit old.

That was actually one of the better scenes in Mass Effect. Sovereign sounds like a Lovecraftian creation. "you simply don't understand" is, like in Lovecraft, a valid plot device if used correctly.

That's a pretty big if, since Bioware used it really, really badly. Also, a real Lovecraftian wouldn't actually TALK to you in the first place, let alone repeat "YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND!" half a dozen times in a row. That scene had some of the most horrible writing to ever come out of Bioware.

 

[Drakron]

How the fuck did they get away with calling the main character Shepard? It's almost as retarded as calling him LEADAR instead of Leader. I guess you can't tell a story to the consoletards unless the plot is retardedly obvious: HE IS LIKE JESUS. HE SAVES. $50 PLOX.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spike_Vide ... #Criticism

 

[Korgan]

The Reapers are the most boring and fake "cosmic horror" imaginable. Period. Maybe they should've put in some real Elder Gods, that would've worked better.

 

[CrusaderTemplar]

When I think of reapers, I think of Thirdspace Aliens.

 

[Quilty]

How the fuck did they get away with calling the main character Shepard? It's almost as retarded as calling him LEADAR instead of Leader. I guess you can't tell a story to the consoletards unless the plot is retardedly obvious: HE IS LIKE JESUS. HE SAVES. $50 PLOX.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spike_Vide ... #Criticism

Fucking shit. I liked gaming better when it was just about obscure D&D titles and Infocom games. At least back then this kind of crap didn't happen.

 

[SuicideBunny]

The first Mass Effect had these weird dreams whenever you found ancient beacons. IMO, they were reasonably well done; freaky, distorted, really vague. Set up the Reapers fairly effectively.

yeah, someone at bioware must have seen genocyber and thought that kind of thing is a neat idea.

 

[godsend1989]

Sheppard is the one and only human who haves good connections over many races and a high leadership isn't that obvious ?!?!?

 

[StrangeCase]

The Reapers are the most boring and fake "cosmic horror" imaginable. Period. Maybe they should've put in some real Elder Gods, that would've worked better.

The thing is, though, genuine Lovecraftian horrors don't make for good video game antagonists. They can't even be understood, much less overcome, and their power lies in two things: the sheer vastness of their mystery, and their ability to make the protagonists seem small, insignificant, and powerless. Even when humans seem to triumph, say, in "The Dunwich Horror", they are still left with many more questions than answers.

That wouldn't work for Mass Effect. It's a space opera game with clear good guys and clear bad guys and a hero who makes something awesome happen every time he clicks his mouse (or is that Dragon Age II hype? I can't keep it all straight anymore.) It's not a game about subtlety or dread. That's why their "Lovecraft-inspired" bad guy is a giant robot space cockroach who essentially just says "I'm so evil I'm gonna eat you" but a lot more pretentiously, in a voice that sounds like a 14 year-old boy experimenting with a voice modulator and an oscillating fan.

 

[Mojobeard]

Having to buy your equipment in ME two is silly I agree, but...

ME2 is basically James Bond in space and you guys are questioning the bad guy's motives?

 

[EvilIndie]

I can't believe they came up with an even dumber idea than the previous dumb ideas.

They should have just gotten Samuel L. Jackson to voice Shephard and called it ME3: Snakes on a spaceship.

Space just got a whole lot bigger and blacker!

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

 

[Demnogonis Saastuttaja]

The Reapers are a dumb idea because they reduce any thought about your actions to "Well those things are going to kill everything so it makes sense to fight them". If it was about a struggle of empires there could at least be some choice.

 

[coldcrow]

This is a cosmic horror.

That reaper is not.

 

[Oaken]

How the fuck did they get away with calling the main character Shepard? It's almost as retarded as calling him LEADAR instead of Leader. I guess you can't tell a story to the consoletards unless the plot is retardedly obvious: HE IS LIKE JESUS. HE SAVES. $50 PLOX.

It worked for Jesus Christ Denton.

 

[CrimHead]

The thing is, though, genuine Lovecraftian horrors don't make for good video game antagonists. They can't even be understood, much less overcome, and their power lies in two things: the sheer vastness of their mystery, and their ability to make the protagonists seem small, insignificant, and powerless. Even when humans seem to triumph, say, in "The Dunwich Horror", they are still left with many more questions than answers.

This is a good point. Upon reflection I think the incredibility of the reapers isn't their vague motives, but the fact that they can be killed at all considering what they are.

 

[Sceptic]

ME2 is basically James Bond in space and you guys are questioning the bad guy's motives?

Well someone thought that James Bond villainy-level was Lovecraftian

(sorry CrimHead )

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Heh, look what I found going through the image folder

 

[racofer]