Review Oblivion blowjob competition continues! Cast your votes

[Vault Dweller]

Tags: Bethesda Softworks; Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

Four more game sites have agreed to enter <a href=http://www.rpgcodex.com/index.php#4140>The Best Blowjob</a> competition, sponspored by Bethesda Softworks LLC, a ZeniMax Media company.
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<a href=http://www.worthplaying.com/article.php?sid=32965>The Worthplaying 9.8 review</a>:
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<blockquote>Simply put, Oblivion is now the title that all other RPGs will be measured against, and now more than ever, Bethesda is one of the crown princes of the genre. Some games showcase beautiful graphics but have horrid gameplay; others have lots of ideas and gameplay elements but are thrown together in a mismatched and complicated way. Oblivion not only raises the bar in the visual and audio modules but also in the gameplay and presentation department, making it easily one of the most recommendable titles to anyone who has ever enjoyed the thought of truly doing whatever they want in a video game, in a world where actions actually mean something.</blockquote>The part about beautiful graphics, but horrid gameplay was ironic.
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<a href=http://www.xe360.com/article.php?artid=3243&pg=1&comments=>The Xbox Evolved 9.7 review</a>:
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<blockquote>I really don't know how Bethesda did it, but Oblivion is so big you will wonder how it is possible to create this expansive world, complete with hundreds of NPC's. Hats off to them for doing something, which I didn’t think, was possible. Gameplay is another amazing aspect. Being a RPG, Oblivion is about leveling up your character. At least, that's what I thought before I actually got into the game. You could be a weak Level One, and still live an amazing life in the world.</blockquote>No kidding. Things you can do at level 1 are truly mind-blowing.
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<a href=http://www.gamedreamz.com/index.cgi?m=stories&s=read&id=5579>The GameDreamZ 9.5 review</a>:
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<blockquote>Perhaps the best tweak Bethesda has made in this amazing series is that now the game levels up as you do. Far too often in Morrowind I would casually stroll into the lair of some uber-level beast that would then proceed to rape me through my chain mail! In Oblivion, the enemies get tougher as you do. So you’ll never have to face down a Minotaur at Level 3, no matter how far you wander. Plus you won’t be burdened with stepping on rats at Level 20, always a bonus.
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I could go on and on about Oblivion for days -- The game is so large! I haven’t touched on the game’s life like NPC’s, the amazingly deep system for creating spells and potions, or even the magical unicorn that roams the land. Great thing is I don’t need to. If the last few paragraphs didn’t convince you of Oblivion’s near divine status then nothing will. This is an RPG unlike any that has come before, and one in concept so bold it’ll probably be years still before we see another like it.</blockquote>Well, let's think positive and hope we never will.</blockquote>
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<a href=http://www.actiontrip.com/reviews/theelderscrollsivoblivion.phtml>The ActionTrip 94% review</a>:
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<blockquote>One thing I should note here also is that Bethesda has greatly improved on the "speechcrafting" by replacing the old random system with a more appropriate logics-based mini game.</blockquote>It's hard to believe, but this is the most retarded and uninformative Oblivion review. What a waste of bandwidth.
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Spotted at: <A HREF="http://www.rpgdot.com">RPG Dot</A>

 

[Saint_Proverbius]

You could be a weak Level One, and still live an amazing life in the world.

Is that a new way to spin the level scaling thing?

 

[Solik]

Mostly good reviews, thanks.

 

[Vault Dweller]

You are very welcome.

 

[Jung]

Mostly?

 

[Solik]

Well, that ActionTrip quote was pretty sad. But then, it's from a site called ActionTrip.

 

[xemous]

I got the game and there's no shadows.

 

[HanoverF]

There are some options to turn on shadows, but I did, and it looked like shit, well, even shittier, so I promptly turned them off.

I think there must be some predefined 'stupid reviewer' character class that shipped with review copies, some kinda warrior type with artifically inflated skills that doesn't level much. Playing an assassin I got to level 9 mostly by making poison and sneaking around (and those skills weren't even that high, like low 50's) and suddenly everything can spot me easily, I suck in combat, and my quest spawned opponents are all in elven armor and wielding glass or magic weapons.

Seeing as most of the side stuff, like lockpicking, alchemy, or speechcraft let you succeed no mater how bad your skill/stats are, the 'stupid reviewer' can tackle anything, so the game appears wonderful.

 

[Nutcracker]

This thread is depressing.

 

[elander_]

Where the fuck are the shadows. I got the game and there's no shadows.

They only needed shadows for the E3 demo. Doh.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Plus you won’t be burdened with stepping on rats at Level 20, always a bonus.

When, exactly, do you stop stepping at rats? I'm level ten and up to my ass in stepping at rats and goblins and crap. Do I really have to wait until level 20? Oblivion sucks!

My vote goes to GameDreams because of their inventive use of the letter "Z"!

 

[suibhne]

Plus you won’t be burdened with stepping on rats at Level 20, always a bonus.

When, exactly, do you stop stepping at rats? I'm level ten and up to my ass in stepping at rats and goblins and crap. Do I really have to wait until level 20? Oblivion sucks!

I'm almost lvl 20 and I keep running into Rats and Mud Crabs. The good news, tho, is that they're sensibly level-capped, unlike the goddamn mfing Mountain Lions.

It's kinda sad that the only visible evidence that I've levelled up is that I can now kill Mud Crabs in one hit rather than four. Even with Stealth at almost 75% and Marksman over 75%, I can no longer get one-hit kills on even lowly Bandits; they're all wearing Elven or Ebony armor now.

 

[HanoverF]

Well at 21, theres some nasty giant crab looking motherfuckers everywhere that make the daedric armor wearing bandits look like pussies.

 

[Zomg]

It seems like every review site has this one guy that just becomes unhinged with pleasure from playing Morrowind-style games, to the point that simple flaws become transparent to him. And for some reason, they hand off the review to that guy.

 

[VasikkA]

<a>The Best Blowjob</a> competition

RPGCodex will totally bite the pecker off in their contribution to the competition.

 

[Claw]

I've tried looking up the verb "portal" at dictionary.com, but they only know of the use as noun or adjective.
I'd guess that it means doing something involving a portal.