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Review Moron Daily reviews The Witcher

Vault Dweller

Commissar, Red Star Studio
Developer
Joined
Jan 7, 2003
Messages
28,024
Tags: CD Projekt; Witcher, The

<a href=http://www.gamedaily.com>Game Daily</a>, a site that shall be known from now on as Moron Daily</a>, has posted the most idiotic <a href=http://www.gamedaily.com/games/the-witcher/pc/game-reviews/review/3106/1830/?cp=1&page=1>review</a> of <a href=http://www.thewitcher.com/>The Witcher</a>, once again attracting everyone's attention to the fact that too many morons STILL have unrestricted access to the internet. The score is 6/10.
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<blockquote>Even though the game graphics generate some pretty good looking characters, they all lack facial expressions, and most don't even use hand gestures.</blockquote>What a crappy game indeed.
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<blockquote>Gamers can pick up special hunting quests called Contracts, but he can't complete them until he brushes up on his monster lore and learns all about the creature before confronting it and collecting trophies. That assumes the quest doesn't get broken, the way it did when we furthered one of the primary quests before collecting the reward for one of our side ones. It resulted in everyone at the local inn evacuating, including the person who was supposed to give us a bounty.</blockquote>You did something and it affected the gameworld. How horrible!
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Anyway, let's take a look at the reaction:
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<blockquote>What are you talk about munchie man? You are shame to the greatest country of Kazahstan!
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Wow... this is a horrible review. Please play the game and make your own decision.
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omg.. you are a serious shame to pc gamers, let alone a game reviewer. Please keep away from the gaming world.. we do not need people like you.
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Funny how every single one of your gameplay examples comes from act one of the game, isn't it? One could almost assume that, oh, perhaps you never actually played beyond act one. But surely you're more professional than that? It's shameful that this review shares a home with the now famous "What Game Developers Hate About Videogame Reviewers" article posted last year. Great job confirming every single stereotype of the lazy, inept, clueless game reviewer.
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I've been reading game reviews for a decade, and this is well up there with the worst. I'd be ashmed if i was the editor that let this slip, nevermind the guy that actually scrawled this contrived, inaccurate and biased rubbish.
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This has possibly got to be one of the worst reviews i have ever read. It gives the impression that the reviewer has not played a pc game before to be honest and seems quite bewildered by anything even remotely complex.</blockquote>Indeed.
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MetalCraze

Arcane
Joined
Jul 3, 2007
Messages
21,104
Location
Urkanistan
yes this newspost deserve to be stickied to give visitors an example of the most retarded media-whore.
 

Texas Red

Whiner
Joined
Sep 9, 2006
Messages
7,044
Have you picked up TW, VD? First impressions?

Though I have to admit that the opinion of the reviewer could change if he would progress to the 2nd act. Everything, fucking everything, is better once you reach Vizima. The game even looks a lot better because the city is crafted so beautifully.

Though I disagree with the score, this is how it should be. There should be different scores and different opinions(even if they are unbased and stupid). Like with movie reviewers, there must be variety. I wish I could see the day when something big, like Oblivion, would not be universally praised.
 

juice99

Novice
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
2
there are like 20 comments below this 'review' and ALL of them are bashing it. it seems people are not buying this shit anymore, and that's a good sign.

as to praising oblivion - i sorted all reviews about oblivion on gamerankings, and i chose site that gave this game the lowest ranking. And from this time i read this site very often. (it was gamespy and the score was 8/10 which is far too much, but it's better than 10/10)
 

Oarfish

Prophet
Joined
Sep 3, 2005
Messages
2,511
That assumes the quest doesn't get broken, the way it did when we furthered one of the primary quests

Yeah, because none of the quest giving characters from the inn live in Vizima. There's no way he played past act 1. Why the hell do they let exclusive action fans review RPGs? It would be like letting me review a soccer title

Me said:
All you do is kick a ball around, trying to get it into a stupid net. Sometimes it's hard to tell which net you need to put it into and the teams all have stupid names like "Charlton Athletic" rather than awesome ones like in basketball. There's no dragons or lasers - 5/10"
 

Vault Dweller

Commissar, Red Star Studio
Developer
Joined
Jan 7, 2003
Messages
28,024
Didn't have a chance to play it yet.

Btw, I forgot to do the Oblivion test. What does Moron Daily think of Oblivion?
http://www.gamedaily.com/games/the-elde ... 3638/1110/

"Buy this game immediately, and if you don't have an Xbox 360, buy an Xbox 360 just to play this game."

That's how the review starts, btw. And that's how it ends:

"About the only thing stopping The Elder Scrolls IV is Microsoft. The company hasn't been able to make enough Xbox 360s to satisfy the American/European demand, but if you are lucky enough to own the machine then I strongly suggest that you purchase Oblivion, and if you happen to see a 360 in a store then this game is worth the console's $400 price tag. It's just that remarkable."
 

Vault Dweller

Commissar, Red Star Studio
Developer
Joined
Jan 7, 2003
Messages
28,024
Oarfish said:
All you do is kick a ball around, trying to get it into a stupid net. Sometimes it's hard to tell which net you need to put it into and the teams all have stupid names like "Charlton Athletic" rather than awesome ones like in basketball. There's no dragons or lasers - 5/10"
:lol:
 

CrimsonAngel

Prophet
Joined
Oct 2, 2007
Messages
2,258
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong
yes Al gore is spinning in his grave because of things like this is one his Internet.
 

Jasede

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Jan 4, 2005
Messages
24,793
Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Codex Year of the Donut I'm very into cock and ball torture
But 6/10 is a good score, what's wrong with you. :|

fake edit: oh. It's not the score. Jesus Christ, that was painful.
 
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Messages
5,933
Location
Scotland
Oarfish said:
Me said:
All you do is kick a ball around, trying to get it into a stupid net. Sometimes it's hard to tell which net you need to put it into and the teams all have stupid names like "Charlton Athletic" rather than awesome ones like in basketball. There's no dragons or lasers - 5/10"

Actually, someone really ought to do reviews like that.
 

pkt-zer0

Scholar
Joined
Jun 17, 2007
Messages
594
http://www.gamedaily.com/games/the-elder-scrolls-iv-oblivion/pc/game-reviews/review/3638/1110/ said:
If anything, Bethesda should have plans to develop an Elder Scrolls Online, which would merge console oriented hack and slash gameplay with a massively multiplayer online experience.
Your prayers have been answered. :D
 

Vault Dweller

Commissar, Red Star Studio
Developer
Joined
Jan 7, 2003
Messages
28,024
callehe said:
Kingston said:
How the fuck do people like this get to write reviews? Are they all cousins of the editor?

Don't diss the editor or else...
Wow!

GameDaily Senior Editor Chris Buffa is an Italian guy from New Jersey that enjoys pizza and a steady flow of margaritas.

outro.jpg
 

Naked Ninja

Arbiter
Joined
Oct 31, 2006
Messages
1,664
Location
South Africa
Sheer fucking idiocy. I'll agree that the timed combat isn't that great (I end up not really watching the fight animations because I'm watching the cursor, waiting for it to go flaming, which I think is the opposite of what they were aiming for), but the characters and plot is great.

And that thing about squirrels....argh, yet another sign that game reviewers never get past adolescence. The elves should probably have called themselves "Evil Shadow Reapers of Destruction!" or something similarly hardcore.
 

Hory

Erudite
Joined
Oct 1, 2003
Messages
3,002
skyway said:
Wow! Chris Buffa is not only a moron but a really mean moron.

wooooooo

"Moron Daily"? Lame Daily is better.
yes, but we already have Gayspot and Lamespy.
Maybe we should use "Lame" for all of them :).
 

Marsal

Arcane
Joined
Oct 2, 2006
Messages
1,304
Naked Ninja said:
Sheer fucking idiocy. I'll agree that the timed combat isn't that great (I end up not really watching the fight animations because I'm watching the cursor, waiting for it to go flaming, which I think is the opposite of what they were aiming for), but the characters and plot is great.
Play on the hard mode. You don't get the flaming sword, just the yellow trail and a "swish". You can easily time the attacks by the swishes after playing for some time. The enemies are not that hard to kill mano-a-mano, but if you get surrounded by stronger creatures(like wyverns) without having used potions/oils, you are pretty much dead(unless you drop a bomb or two).
 

Elhoim

Iron Tower Studio
Developer
Joined
Oct 27, 2006
Messages
2,878
Location
San Isidro, Argentina
Naked Ninja said:
Sheer fucking idiocy. I'll agree that the timed combat isn't that great (I end up not really watching the fight animations because I'm watching the cursor, waiting for it to go flaming, which I think is the opposite of what they were aiming for), but the characters and plot is great.

Like it was said, you'll notice that there is a sound and a color change in the swing when it's time to click again. In time you won't notice the cursor, and enjoy the animation.
 

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