Review Chefe does Fallout 3 @ the Codex

[DarkUnderlord]

Tags: Fallout 3

<a href="http://www.rpgcodex.net/content.php?id=176">Local Codexian Chefe has reviewed Fallout 3</a>. Here's some of what he had to say about beards being in this season:
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<blockquote>The AI path finding is up there with the animations as being the Mutant after the Good and the Bad. It’s certainly an area where Bethesda needs to spend more time, as this has been a horrible problem for them since the switch to 3D characters in The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard. Walking and jumping animations have been improved, but that’s about it. There’s not much more to say in this department besides a little piece of advice: When a kid is running in between two rocks, just give him some time to work his way out of it before you decide to hit reload.
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The poor AI is partially masked by the enhanced character models and textures. The faces look attractive and human. The hair styles are varied. The beard styles are incredibly varied. You can make your own authentic 1950’s style persona and have it looking good in no time, or in lots of time if micromanaging every cheekbone is your style. Men and women have different body types, walking styles, and poses. The voice work is another help here. NPCs will comment when you’re eyeing a lock, if you’ve taken too long for a quest, or if you’re simply well known in the area. There are generic townsfolk who make the settlements look alive and have interesting comments if you try to engage them in conversation. The named NPCs all have their own personality and the actors did their best to vary them by person. Malcolm McDowell is excellent in his role, as are a few unique voices you’ll find throughout the game. The much lauded Liam Neeson, however, shows up with a poor performance and an uninspired attitude. His voice is not so different from other older men in the game, and where it is different, it sounds almost like he’s attempting to channel the speech patterns of a certain Emperor from The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.</blockquote>
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What was his final verdict? Click here to find out. Oh I'm sorry, I meant <a href="http://www.rpgcodex.net/content.php?id=176">here</a>.

 

[DefJam101]

Did you delete the other thread?

 

[tanjo]

Why do 50% of the reviews I ever read start off with some retarded tangent about the history of the universe leading up to the game and then outline the most obvious shit about said game. Reviewer, understand your audience. You're reviewing Fallout 3 on the fucking RPG Codex. We know where Fallout came from and what it's about. There's no need to sum up the post-apocalyptic dystopia in like 5 paragraphs. I stopped reading that shit. Too bloated. Cut the shit and get to the fucking point. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Learn to fucking write. You need to cut out 2/3's of that review. You say the same thing 5 times a paragraph. Lose the abstractions and stick with concrete descriptions. It's like you're listening to yourself talk or writing for someone who has never played a Fallout game, or any game.. ever.

 

[DarkUnderlord]

Did you delete the other thread?

This is the Codex. All our content items have two threads. One in news, the other in the content forum.

 

[tanjo]

Given the setting of the game, it shouldn’t be surprising that those who will get the most out of this are Americans. We have a deep patriotic pride for our history and, unless you’re black, the 1950’s are viewed as an idyllic time where the world was heading to perfection.

Holy fuck, are you serious? Ridiculous generalization and fucking false on many levels. The 1950's were some of the most serious times during the cold war, when half the world thought nuclear holocaust was inevitable. It wasn't just blacks but women and many other social classes that weren't treated equally. Read "Howl" by Ginsberg and then talk about the 1950's.

Terrible review. Terrible, terrible, terrible fucking review.

 

[Chefe]

Why do 50% of the reviews I ever read start off with some retarded tangent about the history of the universe leading up to the game and then outline the most obvious shit about said game. Reviewer, understand your audience. You're reviewing Fallout 3 on the fucking RPG Codex. We know where Fallout came from and what it's about. There's no need to sum up the post-apocalyptic dystopia in like 5 paragraphs. I stopped reading that shit. Too bloated. Cut the shit and get to the fucking point. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Learn to fucking write. You need to cut out 2/3's of that review. You say the same thing 5 times a paragraph. Lose the abstractions and stick with concrete descriptions. It's like you're listening to yourself talk or writing for someone who has never played a Fallout game, or any game.. ever.

That's just the first paragraph. If you would have taken a minute to read (I know, it's difficult, but we'll all help you work through it, okay?) you would see the rest of the review lays out all of F3's merits. If I went through bullet points the game would suck. It can only stand as the sum of all its parts.

It's funny how you write a disjointed block of text that keeps saying the same thing over and over, and is standard flame material, then go on to say "learn how to write" and "stop repeating yourself." It's irony with a dash of imbecile thrown in for good measure.

Holy fuck, are you serious? Ridiculous generalization and fucking false on many levels. The 1950's were some of the most serious times during the cold war, when half the world thought nuclear holocaust was inevitable. It wasn't just blacks but women and many other social classes that weren't treated equally. Read "Howl" by Ginsberg and then talk about the 1950's.

Terrible review. Terrible, terrible, terrible fucking review.

Maybe you shouldn't have skipped all those Literature classes back in school, because being an illiterate dick really does make you look stupid. The 1950's are a nostalgia era. Yes, to most everyone now it is viewed as an idyllic time. This is where reading comprehension comes in. If you weren't so fucking thick and hellbent on flaming me (for whatever reason, I won't ask) you would have realized this.

"Howl"? Did you google books from the 1950's and just pull out a random name? Why the fuck would I want to sit down with a book of beatnik poetry, much less base my knowledge of the 50's on it? Look, if you've got complaints, then make them. Don't spew random shit just because you hate Fallout 3 and haven't grown up yet.

You are seriously fuck up man™

 

[Barrow_Bug]

Wow, here comes the Lulz. Good work Chefe, nice review.

 

[DefJam101]

You are seriously fuck up man™

The return!

 

[Fat Dragon]

Pretty good review, Chefe.

I don't share your enthusiasm for the graphics though. The game was a complete eyesore for me at times. Some parts would look rather nice and detailed. And then some things were just incredibly ugly and low detail, like boulders for example. When you happen to have a little of both on the screen at the same time combined with the bloom the game can be just downright painful to look out.

 

[Chefe]

Yea, like I said, some stuff just jumps out at you and screams "90s FPS!"

You play with bloom? Games are either HDR or nothing for me. Bloom is hideous. Try turning it off, that might be your problem.

 

[tanjo]

It's funny how you write a disjointed block of text that keeps saying the same thing over and over, and is standard flame material, then go on to say "learn how to write" and "stop repeating yourself." It's irony with a dash of imbecile thrown in for good measure.

We're not talking about my haphazard forum posts. We're talking about your (pseudo) journalistic review.

Maybe you shouldn't have skipped all those Literature classes back in school, because being an illiterate dick really does make you look stupid.

I have an English degree, you faggot. Yes, I have a college degree which focuses partly on what we're arguing about. GG try again.

The 1950's are a nostalgia era. Yes, to most everyone now it is viewed as an idyllic time. This is where reading comprehension comes in. If you weren't so fucking thick and hellbent on flaming me (for whatever reason, I won't ask) you would have realized this.

To who? Nostalgic because your idea of the 1950's is shallow and based off some Leave it to Beaver popular-culture, superficial bullshit. Nevermind that the 1950's were one of the most turbulent times ever and that the chaos of the 1960's were a direct response to what preceded them, I love Lucy was on in teh 1950's!! Nostalgia!

"Howl"? Did you google books from the 1950's and just pull out a random name?

No, I pulled out one of the most popular pieces of literature, from the dense library that is my man brain, which characterizes the emotional landscape of the youth of the period. I can name many more but just stick with Ginsberg for now. Report back to me after you've read Howl, then I'll give you another assignment.

You are seriously fuck up man™

Oh, okay.

Codex should be embarrassed by you. I may stop reading this website solely because The Codex, so snobbish about other websites' reviews, endorses your terrible, terrible review. I'm just really disappointed in the editors of this website.

 

[ixg]

I didn't read the review, but I think Chefe's a faggot. Always have.

 

[Fat Dragon]

You play with bloom? Games are either HDR or nothing for me. Bloom is hideous. Try turning it off, that might be your problem.

Can't. My pc is utter shit for playing most new games, it can't run F3. I had to buy the Xbox version (in before flames ). Xbox games usually don't give you the option to remove bloom. I'll check next time I play though, I might get lucky.

 

[Chefe]

We're talking about your (pseudo) journalistic review.

I'm a guy on a forum.

I have an English degree, you faggot.

Yea, me too.


... you faggot!

Codex should be embarrassed by you. I may stop reading this website solely because The Codex, so snobbish about other websites' reviews, endorses your terrible, terrible review. I'm just really disappointed in the editors of this website.

Okay, either you're drunk or KC has a really, really old alt.

 

[Barrow_Bug]

Tanjo,why you didn't just respond to Chefe's review in less Lulzy manner? Don't you have a PhD in Literature or whatever?

 

[Data4]

Nerd penis envy involves dueling degrees. I love it!

 

[Volourn]

Bah. Chefe is an asshole. His review makes me *almost* want to buy the game. Almost. But, I won't get suckered in by his pretty words. Bethesda won't get off that easy for their shitty past games.

 

[Data4]

Bah. Chefe is an asshole. His review makes me *almost* want to buy the game. Almost. But, I won't get suckered in by his pretty words. Bethesda won't get off that easy for their shitty past games.

Just do the try before you buy thing, play, learn to hate, delete, tada! No money spent, and on a moral level, you received no value from the product, so no worries. If you actually like it, then buy it to clear your conscience and demonstrate your support.

 

[Barrow_Bug]

Nerd penis envy involves dueling degrees. I love it!

 

[Volourn]

I dont' steal so fuck off! Eevn if FO3 sucks big time; you re 1000x a worse human being than all the Bethesdeans put together.You piece of fuckin' shit!

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Nice review. Chefe truly has a way with words.

 

[Fat Dragon]

I dont' steal so fuck off! Eevn if FO3 sucks big time; you re 1000x a worse human being than all the Bethesdeans put together.You piece of fuckin' shit!

 

[someone else]

Codex should be embarrassed by you. I may stop reading this website solely because The Codex, so snobbish about other websites' reviews, endorses your terrible, terrible review. I'm just really disappointed in the editors of this website.

Yeah, the editors of the prestigious RPG Codex ought to be fired. Where is the journalistic integrity? Where is the hate?

 

[Korgan]

Nice. Certainly better then the whore 9/10 reviews. I'm finally convinced to try it out.

 

[Marsal]

I would say the review is solid, if a little jumbled (but what do I know, I don't have an English degree), had I not played the game reviewed. I agree with tanjo that you missed the audience, but I don't mind the extra text, as much as the lacking description of some game elements.

How can you not mention the horrible design of the wasteland itself? There is a densely, maze-like mess of structures and "locations" in the downtown area, connected only by Metro tunnels (dungeons), combined with a wasteland in the rest of the world, that feels more tiled than the original Fallout games. "Immersion" breaking buildings separate from the game world (and even towns in the case of Megaton), blinding HDR on any surface even remotely resembling white, lack of atmospheric effects, lack of object shadows, exploding vehicles, are elements that deserve to be mentioned if talking about the "awesomeness" of the game world.

The huge omission for this type of game (FPS with RPG elements or vice versa, if you want) are the awful shooting mechanics (in real time). There are no iron sights, just a very slight zoom when aiming with a weapon. Accuracy is governed by stats, which isn't bad in itself, but in implementation. There is no expanding reticule from Deus Ex, no shaky hands while handling the weapon, just random misses. HtH and melee combat is plain bad, so that really deserves no mention There are also no player usable lights (ie. mounted on the gun) of any kind (except the stupid Pip Boy glow).

In VATS, you often hit an obstacle near you or the enemy even if you, seemingly, have a clear shot (this ruins sneak criticals and makes infiltration much more complicated and less fun). Some nice (or weird) things you can do are shooting an enemy grenade in the air (in VATS) and destroying the weapon in enemy's hands (they react by picking something to hurt you with from their inventory, ground or nearby crates). Nice touch, too bad that the head-shots are too powerful (and especially easy to score with the right perks) and make shooting anything other than the head (in most cases) obsolete.

Bobbleheads and clothing that increase SPECIAL attributes and skills should also be mentioned, I think.

On the positive side of the game, almost all skills are useful, especially repair skill (weapons wear down and decrease the damage dealt while increasing reload times, it's possible to find schematics for unique weapons). This is, of course, negated by the number (far too many) of skill points to distribute. Taking 10 INT (or 9 if you know where the +1 bobblehead is) and picking the perk that gives extra skill points every level (taking into consideration bonuses gained from clothing, books and other perks), you can max out every "important" skill (or any 8 you choose from 13 available, 6 of which are combat skills) by level 20. Granted, this is not in the "spirit of role playing", but there is really no incentive not to spend points in INT. STR is only good for carrying things (a perk can help with this), you have too much HP and too many stimpaks for END to matter and the other attributes are not much different in "importance" and scope.

Radiation is not dangerous at all. You have huge amounts of meds (and doctor can decontaminate you for a price). Even the most radiated places (ie. Megaton ruins after you blow it up with the nuke) rarely exceed 5 rads/s. You can take 200 rads before any negative effects and 600 (I think) before dying.

Sleeping is really expensive. About 100 caps for a night (you can buy a nice used weapon for that). You'll (usually) own a room early in the game, but it's a really weird design decision. The price may be influenced by barter skill (I had about 25/100 in barter), I didn't experiment.

I also don't get the music complaints. The main theme may not fit the setting (although it's not that bad), but there is no music in the game except the 50's tunes from the radio, if I'm not mistaken? I certainly didn't notice any horribly bad music while playing.

How is the main plot, Chefe? Fun? Original? Engaging? How are the quests in general? The ending? Slideshow at the end? Not so important as the music, is it?

Left out the karma system completely, Chefe? If only Bethesda had your wisdom. My character wouldn't be "evil incarnate" (or something like that) just for stealing junk.

There are more omissions, but I'll let VD sum it up in his review I do agree that it's a solid game and Codexers will be pleasantly surprised should they play it. Much better than Oblivion. I would describe it as Bloodlines and STALKER combined, taking all the wrong things from both games, leaving out (most of) the bugs.

In the end, you know it has to be asked, Chefe. How much did they pay you?