inwoker said:
I barely speak english. But review is too wordy and not enough lulz. In before Vince's review knock you off.
Oh, of course. I'm looking forward to another review filled with developer quotes, spoilers, and whining.
"Wah! It's not Fallout!"
Yea, it's better. Just like Fallout was better than Wasteland. Maybe I'm not feeling the butthurt all these idiots are feeling because, guess what, I never really cared much for the original game. Dialogs were disjointed, characters didn't seem to care, too many ghost choices, complete lack of difficulty on all levels, and a bunch of other crap.
It's great when, after I help Killian kill Gizmo, that fucker at the front gate still doesn't let me in because I'm "a stranger." That's roleplaying! How about after I slaughter the entire raider camp and make the mistake of
talking to Tandi before I open her cell? She says the same damn thing as she did before I mercilessly slaughtered 20 people in front of her eyes. "YOU, fight HIM? You've got to be joking!" No, you stupid skank! Of course I did not just put a bullet into his
face. That's why we can easily walk out right now, because his entire crew isn't lying in pools of their own blood. That's roleplaying! Oh, oh, I know! What about when even the simplest of fights can take too fucking long because Dogshit has to make twenty moves per turn? It's real immersive when you first get that canine douchebag, too. I'm usually decked out in a spiffy leather jacket and just entered Junktown, and he automatically follows me while I get magical XP for helping fix the dog problem I've never heard about. lolwut? Those glowing ghouls in Necropolis are the best. They are gathered around a dead human that apparently tried to mess with something, yet I can walk right past them, steal the water chip, and walk right back, while stopping to say hello. And let's not forget about after you deliver the water chip. You suddenly know everything there is to know about the FEV and Supermutants, even if you only had encountered those two at the watershed. Of course, I wouldn't want to forget the memorable Cathedral scene where you can just walk around breaking into rooms and no one does shit... maybe that traitor bitch should have just tried that instead of hiding out in the room and complaining that these people were too suspicious, because they obviously aren't. What about the Brotherhood? That's one hell of a rewarding experience there! Wait... was that even an experience? What the fuck? Nothing happened! "Oh, it's the end of the game, just go kill the mutants and get this crap over with." That's roleplaying!
These complaints about the skill checks not being deep enough and the PC switching personalities is really fucking funny. In the original Fallout, the PC just doesn't switch personalities and intelligence levels between dialog, he sometimes does it
within the dialog too! And skillchecks? Please. In the original there's
maybe a charisma check here and there. Pumping speech pretty much means "YOU WIN!" in the game of dialog. Otherwise you'll have to keep reloading until the coin randomly lands in your favor. "I don't believe you! Die!" Reload. "I don't believe you! Die!" Reload. "I don't believe you. Die!" Reload. "Okay, you can pass." SAVE. Not that any of it matters, since the gameworld doesn't fucking react, but at least you get those extra caps or fade to black sex and can pretend you're a manly man in your imaginary roleplaying world where this game isn't an overhyped nostalgic shitfest.
The best part, though, is going to an area
before the game wants you to go there. You suddenly know everything! Then, you go back to the "starting" areas like Shady Sands, and you're ignorant again. That's roleplaying.
I can't complete this without mentioning the funniest part I've ever found. After you slaughter the entire Skulz gang in the bar with teh coppers, go talk to Sherry. Just do it. That's motherfucking roleplaying!
I almost forgot to mention how most skills and perks are useless. Tag Barter, Energy Weapons, and First Aid, then try to make it past the rats in the first dungeon. I dare you.
Fuck Fallout. I shouldn't have lied, saying things like Fallout begged you to go off the beaten path, because it obviously does the exact opposite, but I did it for you ever-loving fuckers. I should have instead talked about how Fallout 3 totally kicks Fallout's ass in the award for least retarded gameplay experience.
I'm finally playing Fallout 2 right now and you know my verdict? Same shit, different day.
