Review ActionTrip: Dungeon Siege 2 is like a good blowjob.

[Vault Dweller]

Tags: Dungeon Siege 2; Gas Powered Games

<a href=http://www.actiontrip.com>ActionTrip</a> has posted a <a href=http://www.actiontrip.com/reviews/dungeonsiege2.phtml>review</a> of <a href=http://www.gaspowered.com/ds2>Dungeon Siege 2</a>, giving it <b>80</b> for being so addictive, immersive, and generally awesome. Like a blowjob, apparently. Of course, stupidity of the reviewer casts some doubts on the score, so we can only pray and hope that DS2 is the bestest game evar. Like World of Warcraft.
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<blockquote>Ever since World of WarCraft happened to me, I cannot help by measure every single RPG (online or not) against what I consider the pinnacle of an addictive gaming experience. Granted, for more reasons than one, this comparison is unfair in relation to single-player RPGs, but the way I see it, the truly great gaming experience (one that is truly addictive), is that which not only makes you lose track of time, but when you finally peel your eyes away from the monitor, you're still feeling that slight numbness in your body as your mind tries to adjust to the real world. Without sounding too crass, this is pretty much how I felt after I've gotten my first really good and sufficiently lengthy blow job</blockquote>World of Warcraft and other games are mentioned so frequently, the review looks like a giant ad with keywords: "Dungeon Siege 2 is a high-profile <u>PC game</u> (Buy PC games at Dell!) being published by one of the biggest companies in the world... In a nutshell, Dungeon Siege 2 is far from a <u>perfect game</u> (Perfect games on EBay!!!)"
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Here is another funny quote:
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<blockquote>pets were hailed as a big addition to the game, but I never used them once</blockquote>Hey, Blizzard said they've added 2 more characters to the D2 expansion, but I never used them. What a rip!!!
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[Sol Invictus]

It's actually fun, though. stupid quotes aside.

 

[kris]

you're still feeling that slight numbness in your body as your mind tries to adjust to the real world.

It never did.

 

[Kratos]

I wonder what he payed more $$ for. DS2 or the blowjob.

 

[HanoverF]

He got the blowjob in trade for the positive DS2 review

 

[obediah]

He got the blowjob in trade for the positive DS2 review

And I'm sure the DS crew is pretty skilled at the blowjobs.

Bill: Looks like you've missed another milestone. *zip*

 

[z3r'0']

He got the blowjob in trade for the positive DS2 review Razz

HAHAHAHA!

The reviewer, his first blowjob and DS2 review.
LOL. It makes sense.

 

[Shagnak]

"ActionTrip - what we lack in quality, we make up for in stupidity"

What an apt tagline, and they even seem proud of the fact.

 

[bryce777]

This guy sure loves giving blowjobs....

 

[Naked_Lunch]

Who doesn't?!

 

[Saint_Proverbius]

I think I now know why MicroSoft shipped out the review copies so early and let the reviews come out this early even though that leads to leaked warez copies. It gets people like the reviewer in a race to review the game with other sites, so they right the review before they get bored with the game a week or so later.

 

[theverybigslayer]

I think I now know why MicroSoft shipped out the review copies so early and let the reviews come out this early even though that leads to leaked warez copies. It gets people like the reviewer in a race to review the game with other sites, so they right the review before they get bored with the game a week or so later.

I don't think so. They can become bored after a hour with this game.

 

[Astromarine]

???? theverybigslayer dislikes a game? wow...

 

[theverybigslayer]

???? theverybigslayer dislikes a game? wow...

Dislikes?
I hate every action crpg, except Diablo, Gothic, Dungeon Lords.

 

[Astromarine]

whoa. you mean 2 out of 3 games you like are actually NOT a steaming pile of rancid dog shit? I'm impressed.

didn't you drool all over Fable as well? or am I confusing you with someone else?

 

[DarkUnderlord]

If he's comparing a blow job to DS2, then it can't have been a very good blow job.

 

[Section8]

this is pretty much how I felt after I've gotten my first really good and sufficiently lengthy blow job

The longer a blow job lasts, the worse it is. Of course, "sufficiently lengthy" is another way of saying "it came to the obvious conclusion."

On the other hand, "sufficiently lengthy" doesn't have to be anything to do with time.

 

[theverybigslayer]

didn't you drool all over Fable as well? or am I confusing you with someone else?

Sorry, I have never seen Fable. I don't know about console crpgs.

 

[Diogo Ribeiro]

The longer a blow job lasts, the worse it is.

Just bitch slap her until she knows how to properly do it.

 

[Hazelnut]

The longer a blow job lasts, the worse it is.

Huh? Not neccessarily! Although that can be the case...

I suppose you get three grades:

crap - bloody hell, get on with it woman, I'm bored.
okay - that was nice, while it lasted.
great - please let me cum, pretty please.... christ it feels so good it actually hurts!! :D

The ability to do the last one is worth marrying for..

H.

 

[crufty]

blah blah blah

It is clear that the reviewer failed his introductory course in pimpology. Even junior pimpologists are aware that oral sex, as well as skills in oral sex, are a dime a dozen.

Had the reviewer said "like the time I got that hot third grade teacher I was dating to give me a blow while the kids were outside playing" then maybe we can see the connection between skills and reward. Or even "Like the time I found myself in a blowjob competition at a witches coven." But no.

Instead, another boring review with a lame analogy from someone who is painfully inexperienced in the subject matter. First blow? Blah blah blah. Where's the challenge? The drama?

 

[Hazelnut]

@crufty

ROTFL!

 

[germx]

Dislikes?
I hate every action crpg, except Diablo, Gothic, Dungeon Lords.

You mean that you like Dungeon Lords BETTER than Dungeon Siege 2....
And you don't even HATE Dungeon Lords??
Did you get a verision of the game that actually was finished or something?

 

[LlamaGod]

Theverybigslayer is Dungeon Lords fan 4 lyfe

also, worlds of warcraft isnt addictive, its just their first MMORPG and they are a shithead. everyone is like that the first one they play.

WoW is made by blizzard so its alot of people's first and they all WOAHOMG ITS LIKE THE COOLEST THING EREVER

 

[Section8]

Hazelnut: Point taken, there is a true talent in keeping someone right on the edge, but...

The ability to do the last one is worth marrying for..

<insert cliched joke about crap post marital sex here>