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Company News Elder Scrolls: The Book


Nov 11, 2007
Cybernegro HQ
Edward_R_Murrow said:
Wyrmlord said:
I don't know guys, checking his books on Amazon, this man has some decent writing skills:

THE SKY CRACKED AND LIGHTNING fell through its crooked seams. With it came a black sleet tasting of smoke, copper, and brimstone. With it came a howling like a gale from hell.

Casek drew himself up, clutching his bloody bandages, hoping they would keep his guts in, until he saw the end of this day, one way or another.

Scott skidded to a halt in his 1974 Dodge Challenger. Upon opening the door, all he could see was red. The skies were literally raining blood. Mangled bodies littered the concrete jungle where packs of hyper-werewolves roamed. Reaching into his backseat, Scott pulled out his bottle of Jack Daniels, and his baby, his Magnum 365.

"Time to get fucked up" he said with a sly grin.

He walked into the biker bar like death himself. His duster swayed in the howling wind. He shoved the door open with the intensity of a wild boar. He took another swig of whiskey. It went down smooth like the Las Vegan waitress from last night, and was tossed aside with a similar lack of ceremony. He took his pack of death sticks from out of his pocket and stuck one in his mouth.

"Any of you fruitcakes got a light?" He said with a smirk he said to the rough and tumble bikers. Tonight was going to be one to remember.

or perhaps....

Our dropship bounced and bumped as it hurtled through the cloudy atmosphere of the planet Rapture-412...a barren rock in the jockstrap asteroid belt of Sector 4. I began final check on my loadout, strapping my 7 deadly kiling blades to various holsters and belts all over my incredibly muscular 6' 4" frame and loaded a lazer blaster pistol into my boot. I grabbed a battle rifle and popped in a fresh magazine of silver exploding tip bullits. I caught a glimpse out of the drop-pod's single porthole as we descended below the cloud layer. I could see 4 out of 5 of the planets moons illuminated brightly.

Illuminated on the ground below, i could see legions of zombies fighting huge groups of hyper-werewolves. As our pod slammed into the blood soaked soil, I kicked open the door.

I looked to my right and said to the Master Chief "Time to get fucked up"

mother of god


Aug 29, 2005

DefJam101 said:
mother of god

Funnily enough, both of those excerpts are better written and much more entertaining than the original Greg Keyes quote.

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