HARDCORE TRAVELLING SALESMAN

[JarlFrank]

Codexers, prepare yourselves for the best game idea ever:

HARDCORE. TRAVELLING. SALESMAN.
Fuck yeah.

So... what's the goal of the game? The gameplay? Well, it's simple. You're a travelling salesman. But not just any travelling salesman. You're a Hardcore Travelling Salesman. That means you're extreme. You thought Commander Shepard was extreme? He's a fucking sissy compared to the Hardcore Travelling Salesman. You're hardcore. You're extreme. You're a travelling salesman.

And as a travelling salesman, your goal is to visit people in their houses and trying to sell them useless shit they don't even need. Like selling a new vacuum cleaner to a housewife who already has three of them. Naturally, most people don't want to buy any of your stuff. That's where the big choice and consequence situations kick in.

You could try to rely only on your master persuasion skills and show the housewives how *awesome* your vacuum cleaners are compared to the ones she already has. You could even demonstrate it by using your vacuum cleaner on her floor. If you use your persuasion skills well enough, you might sell her one or even two of them and go happily to the next household where you might sell another one.

But there are situations where persuasion skills aren't enough. There are people who vehemently resist accepting their saviour and paying him all their money for the best products this world has ever seen. In such cases, you need to get a little extreme. In such cases, you need to become the HARDCORE TRAVELLING SALESMAN. Some guy always closing the door in front of you when you try to sell him something? Kick the fucking door in or shoot a bullet through the door's lock! Fucking housewife says she doesn't need your awesome vacuum cleaner? Rip off her skirt and show her how well that thing can suck! Another housewife not convinced how well your special kitchen knives can cut? Then show her first-hand how well they cut!

If your victi... customers fail to see the light, force them to buy your products! Torture! Rape! Destroy! Abuse! Do anything to demonstrate them how well your products actually work, and try everything to show them that buying your products can even save their lives!

HARDCORE TRAVELLING SALESMAN - Bringing the harsh world of business to your screen!

Note:
This is a serious idea. This is worthy of being made into a real game one day. So you guys should post some design ideas for a game like that.

 

[Dark Elf]

Sorry for being so conventional, but why not make it a game about a weapon's dealer, call it "Merchant of Death" or something, where you have to bluff, intimidate, scare the shit out of, persuade and occasionally use your own merchandise on your clients.

THAT would be Shepardian extremity!

 

[JarlFrank]

That would be less outrageous and lulzy than the Hardcore Travelling Merchant who sells stuff to housewives, but it would probably be worthy of a serious RPG. Yeah, that idea has potential.

Hardcore Travelling Merchant is supposed to be lulzy in a Postal 2 way of fun, though, so that would be too serious for this game idea.

 

[thesheeep]

The most important question is: Will console gamers like it?

 

[Dr.Bloodmoney]

Here's a story about a travelling salesman:
It's a travelling salesman who sells vacuum cleaners. He stops at a house and try to sell his product to the lady who lives here. He's lucky: she doesn't even have a vacuum cleaner. But, nothing he says seem to interess her so, he takes the trash empty it on the floor and say to the housewife: "Show me where I can plug the vacuum cleaner and if there's anything left, I'll eat it!" and she responds: "I hope you're hungry, we don't have electricity..."

 

[crakkie]

A
I
D
A

 

[Fez]

I like this sound of this.

 

[obediah]

Codexers, prepare yourselves for the best game idea ever:

HARDCORE. TRAVELLING. SALESMAN.

Well if you take some CS classes you'll learn how to program a similar game.

NP-HARD. TRAVELLING. SALESMAN.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Storyline: You are a simple salesman for a giant company selling various products all over the world. However... one dark, misty, rainy day your employers suddenly tell you, that your post in a small, quiet town somewhere in northern Canada is given to someone else, while you are being transferred to offer the company's fine products to... *evil laugh* Djibouti...

The attributes would be focused around the special XTRM system.

X - Xenophobia - the higher this attribute, the better will be your chances at beating the sh... *cough* persuading a customer to buy your products.

T - Treachery - The higher the attribute, the more effective lies you will be able to tell your customer about what your product does, the bigger prices you will be able to dictate. With high enough treachery, you will also be able to persuade some less trusting customers to let you inside their houses which will... facilitate communications.

R - Reflex - The higher the attribute, the better you will be at inserting your foot through doors that are about to be closed before your nose

M - Malevolence - The higher the attribute - the more effective, nefarious and interesting acts you will be able to commit if someone is not interested in your merchandise

 

[cardtrick]

Codexers, prepare yourselves for the best game idea ever:

HARDCORE. TRAVELLING. SALESMAN.

Well if you take some CS classes you'll learn how to program a similar game.

NP-HARD. TRAVELLING. SALESMAN.

My first thought as well. I've mostly been reading programming blogs instead of the Codex lately, and it took me a few seconds to realize that despite the title this wasn't going to be some kind of badass concurrent traveling salesman solver written in Haskell or Erlang.

 

[Fat Dragon]

If your victi... customers fail to see the light, force them to buy your products! Torture! Rape! Destroy! Abuse! Do anything to demonstrate them how well your products actually work, and try everything to show them that buying your products can even save their lives!

Should be a pretty good game then.

 

[obediah]

Storyline: You are a simple salesman for a giant company selling various products all over the world. However... one dark, misty, rainy day your employers suddenly tell you, that your post in a small, quiet town somewhere in northern Canada is given to someone else, while you are being transferred to offer the company's fine products to... *evil laugh* Djibouti...

The attributes would be focused around the special XTRM system.

X - Xenophobia - the higher this attribute, the better will be your chances at beating the sh... *cough* persuading a customer to buy your products.

T - Treachery - The higher the attribute, the more effective lies you will be able to tell your customer about what your product does, the bigger prices you will be able to dictate. With high enough treachery, you will also be able to persuade some less trusting customers to let you inside their houses which will... facilitate communications.

R - Reflex - The higher the attribute, the better you will be at inserting your foot through doors that are about to be closed before your nose

M - Malevolence - The higher the attribute - the more effective, nefarious and interesting acts you will be able to commit if someone is not interested in your merchandise

Like most things, the Canadian version sucks compared to the U.S. version. In our version, you've lost your post in Mississippi.


X - Xcess - If any word starting with an X can sum up a citizen of the good old U S of A, it's Xcess. What ever it is those poor dirty muslims want, you will have the most of it.

T - Taboo - Knocking on the door with a pork chop in one hand, porno in the other, and a double barreled beer hat is sure to get the owner's attention.

R - Rah!Rah!USA - When closing the deal, make sure they know you're an American, and how much better everything is back home.

M - Meninges. The higher the score, the more likely you are to survive the eventual beheading attempt.