Company News I hear the Bethesda guild is recruiting

[Texas Red]

I hear the Bethesda guild is recruiting.

Horrible guild, I avoid it whenever I can.

You lurked for three months to find an opportunity for a bad mudcrab pun?
Fuck off.

No, *you* fuck off.

 

[Dementia Praecox]

TWD to the rescue! You should have a fanfare.

 

[dagorkan]

That time of month again DP?

 

[Dementia Praecox]

That time of month again DP?

Seems like it. You stole my sig-material, btw.

Edit: Time for extensive retardedry, that is.
Edit2: ...by the retards.

 

[Lumpy]

Lol beth sux.

 

[Vault Dweller]

I hear the Bethesda guild is recruiting.

Priceless. Updated the title.

 

[Durwyn]

Bethseda? Talents? You must be kidding...

 

[bonch]

Fuck this thread. I'm going home to sleep with my wife.

 

[Dementia Praecox]

Fuck this thread. I'm going home to sleep with my wife.

Haha, that was random.

 

[Rosh]

Hey, ROSHAMBO - they have a job for you!

Gladly, I find myself overqualified.

1. B.Sc. in Computer Science and/or Mathematics.

And/or degree in mathematics, for a programmer...cute. Who wrote this shit, Pete?

2. Proficient with c++ and object-oriented programming.

Being able to identify friendly units in AI routines additional!
(I just loved the Oblivion guard fights...)

3. Development experience in the games industry a plus.

Too bad they are desperate for anyone with experience at this point.

4. Development experience on game consoles (Xbox/PS2/Gamecube) a plus.

Because when they run into crunch time, you will be asked to strip out a lot of your older work so it can operate on a console. That work wasn't needed anyways, as it made the framerates on the X-Box horrible and added too much complexity the audience wouldn't use, anyways...

5. Experience with DX9 2.0 or above level Shaders and HLSL a plus.

I'd rather work with something that offers a little more ability to be ported to another OS.
By that merit: GLSL > HLSL. Extra eye candy is also a waste of time when the graphics are usually turned down to deal with combat framerates in action games.

6. Ability to contribute innovative and original ideas.

Amazing that they list this as a requirement...sucks that they have to replace the talent that leaves, but the coffee bitch isn't too keen on much else but making sure there's an open-ended variety of condiments to serve the coffee with. I now see where Todd learned his design style and why he was originally hired on.

7. Strong communication and organizational skills.

Wow, now only if Pete's job required this.

Would stuffing both Pete and Todd into garbage cans and taking them out to the dumpster count as "strong communication" and "organized" enough for them?

8. Must work well under pressure and handle multiple tasks.

Read that again, Todd AND Pete. We're talking a twofer here. Why, am I going to have to reorganize the boardroom, too?

9. Passion for making GREAT games.

Wow, looks like they're trying to replace all of the development staff there. So, where are you working now, Todd?

Anyways, it should read:
"Believe that you make GREAT games, no matter what other people say and regardless of other titles that have existed in the past. You must believe that you do absolutely great work and you are innovative. Having played older games that our current team can't get into because of poor graphics is a bonus, because we're tired of ripping off last year's trends already and need to look to some other creative work to rip off."

10. Knowledge of Role Playing games and The Elder Scrolls or Fallout a plus.

Sorry, I only know TES before Todd and Co. raped it, as I don't care to follow retchcon. As for knowing anything about role-playing games, heh...Bethesda still needs to learn that stats exist in all genres, and their feeble example of "role-playing" with Oblivion leaves a LOT to be desired. Even their crappy AI to spare them from doing any real development is sloppy and inferior to that which was offered years ago.

As for Fallout, I'd also have to stuff any stupid moron that confuses the game elements into a garbage can as well. Bah, keeping the stupid in line would be a full-time job there.

 

[Joe Krow]

the bleeding-edge of RPG development

And the RPG genre is bleeding to death...

Lobotomies aren't particularly bloody.

 

[Shagnak]

They are if done with a sledge hammer.

 

[psycojester]

I'd say they would be if you used a sledgehammer instead of a scapel

 

[Shagnak]

snap