Damned Registrations
Furry Weeaboo Nazi Nihilist
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2007
- Messages
- 16,241
I got a craving for some metroid gameplay, so I decided to check out the GBA games. First I played zero mission- it was pretty decent. Not as good as super metroid, but it had the right idea.
Then I tried Fusion. This game is an abomination. It's not even a metroid game. You do zero exploring. The entire game is broken into sectioned of parts that can only be explored in a completely linear fashion. You get fucking briefing (mandatory ones, you can't skip or avoid them) before entering each area, which also spoils what item you are going to acquire so you don't even get to be surprised. Progressing through the areas also generally shoves you through some sort of one way passage so you can't even double back to check a different route, you get locked into whatever the correct path is. At first I thought it'd just be the begining that was like this, pandering to idiots so they can get a feel for the genre. But I've cleared like 6 areas and acquired as many suit upgrades. Even if you backtrack to a previous area with your newly unlocked shit, there's nothing worth getting. Super missiles just use normal missle ammo now, and only 1 each, so you never fucking run out, which makes missle upgrades worthless, and they're the only 'secrets' to find. Though they're generally not hidden at all, just sitting in plain sight past a locked door. Speaking of which, now the fucking doors don't open to various weapon types, but just require finding what amounts to a color coded key. So you don't even get the satisfaction of blowing up the stupid doors that were in your way for so long. Oh, but they still put them in completely retarded places, as if to pretend the game was actually open, and there was some sort of meaning in putting a level 1 door lock beyond a level 3 door lock when the keys have to be acquired in order. Oh, and they took out wall juumping. I mean, you can still wall jump, but it's never actually useful. You can't jump off the same wall twice in a row any more, and any area with two walls close enough to let you climb this way also have ledges you can just grab on to which makes it totally pointless. Bomb jumping is also out, you only get a jump from ground level bombs, which is of course pointless since you get the ability to jump as a ball right after getting bombs.
I mean, this is beyond mere fuckup, it's like someone knew the series extremely well and intentionally set about ruining everything that made it good.
/rantdex
Then I tried Fusion. This game is an abomination. It's not even a metroid game. You do zero exploring. The entire game is broken into sectioned of parts that can only be explored in a completely linear fashion. You get fucking briefing (mandatory ones, you can't skip or avoid them) before entering each area, which also spoils what item you are going to acquire so you don't even get to be surprised. Progressing through the areas also generally shoves you through some sort of one way passage so you can't even double back to check a different route, you get locked into whatever the correct path is. At first I thought it'd just be the begining that was like this, pandering to idiots so they can get a feel for the genre. But I've cleared like 6 areas and acquired as many suit upgrades. Even if you backtrack to a previous area with your newly unlocked shit, there's nothing worth getting. Super missiles just use normal missle ammo now, and only 1 each, so you never fucking run out, which makes missle upgrades worthless, and they're the only 'secrets' to find. Though they're generally not hidden at all, just sitting in plain sight past a locked door. Speaking of which, now the fucking doors don't open to various weapon types, but just require finding what amounts to a color coded key. So you don't even get the satisfaction of blowing up the stupid doors that were in your way for so long. Oh, but they still put them in completely retarded places, as if to pretend the game was actually open, and there was some sort of meaning in putting a level 1 door lock beyond a level 3 door lock when the keys have to be acquired in order. Oh, and they took out wall juumping. I mean, you can still wall jump, but it's never actually useful. You can't jump off the same wall twice in a row any more, and any area with two walls close enough to let you climb this way also have ledges you can just grab on to which makes it totally pointless. Bomb jumping is also out, you only get a jump from ground level bombs, which is of course pointless since you get the ability to jump as a ball right after getting bombs.
I mean, this is beyond mere fuckup, it's like someone knew the series extremely well and intentionally set about ruining everything that made it good.
/rantdex
