Let's paint some maps in EU3 Magna Mundi as the Mongols!

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Fuck, Photobucket broke my earlier updates. It should be back up in a week or two when the bandwidth meter resets.

 

[Nex]

It's all good. I have already read them

 

[eklektyk]

always a pleasure to read Your LP, Bro!

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Can't read update since pictures are missing(makes me lolololol newfag popamole I guess), this makes me a sad panda bro.

 

[Nex]

Can't read update since pictures are missing(makes me lolololol newfag popamole I guess), this makes me a sad panda bro.

Reload the page. Sometimes it takes a few attempts to get the pictures you want, so always read as far as you can.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Could be because your shitty foreign internet cannot cope with all the pictures.

Usually if the pics just don't show up then you either need to wait, or reload.

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Problem is sadly the "bandwidth exceeded" on the photo bucket account used to post the images. So I guess I will just have to wait until I can see it properly.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Ugh, i just had a go as the Ottomans from my latest Qing save. Those motherfuckers would steamroll me without breaking a sweat. I'm really just stuck waiting for the settling events to finish firing. Hopefully it'll speed up a bit after my tech begins shooting up. Update forthcumming on your tits.

Sorry Merkbro, i did loads of updates in just a few weeks so you'll have to wait another week. I'm going to start alternating between accounts now every time the bandwidth meter goes too high, so it shouldn't happen again

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Sorry the update is a bit late bros. Shit to do and all that. I wish i had a tranny sex slave to do all the menial copy pasting urls for me.

Anyways, last time, there wasn't much action, so i have resolved to change that as you will see below. Before i get my fighting hat on, though, i get another settling event. Unfortunately Fraps once again crapped out on me so i didn't get a pic (I'll need to start checking every few years or so to see if the bloody thing is on). It was caused by my bill of rights idea and slow movement away from serfdom, which moved my society from subsistence farming to a feudal, caste based hierarchical society, dropping the tech penalty from 100% to 50%, lowering the overall penalties, and giving me a nice lowering of infantry cost. Unfortunately all the sudden changes to society have significantly hurt my troops morale. Discipline is high, but the low morale and poor technology requires me to simply overpower the enemy with sheer mass. Thankfully i have the liquid tide of chinks to do so.

I attack Lan Na. They are allied with Dali, so this war should allow me to take all my southern Chinese cores, after which I'll go sodomise Xi Xia. I outnumber them vastly, but they out-tech me, so this will be very bloody.

Or not.

Now this is where the difference shows. Although my sheer mass and discipline wins the day, i take severe casualties. They have access to the more advanced Chinese and Asian musket formations now, while I'm still stuck without them, because my unit group is Muslim for some reason, who adopt gunpowder later on. They have inferior morale, but their superior units still allow them to completely overpower me during the fire phase.

I guess i could be wrong though.

The Multiheaded Dick is with us. Truly the Emperor is the Son of Heavan!

Meanwhile, i quickly besiege and overpower Dali with my massive armies. I don't want to have to keep 6000 or so men there slowly starving them out when i could just overpower the garrisons, attrition be damned.

Lovely. I send all 30,000 or so men of my Southern Chinese army to Sipsong Banna(?) to quickly overpower the small garrison and end the war.

And there we go. A bloody and entertaining, if easy war to whittle away the years between settling events. Now for Xi Xia. Their end has been long time coming.

DAS JUDEN

They haven't sacrificed our Women to their heathen voodoo God, or corrupted our genepool yet, so I'll let them stay....

The new borders.

I attack. Tibet is warning me so they join in the war. I plan to either annex or vassalise Viet Dai, as they are extremely wealthy, and will be incredibly useful in the long run.

I immediately overpower Xi Xia's small army and leave a small force plus artillery regiment there to siege them out. I move the rest out to await the royal army which is lugging its ass over from Henan, to attack the main Tibetan force. I probably wont be able to besiege Tibet due to the huge attrition. I might be able to blitz their northern territory with a large army due to the shitty fortification there, but Southern Tibet is out of my reach for now. Not as if I'd even want to take the shithole.

Dai Viet fares no better. Champa, a Hindu kingdom to the south, is besieging their southernmost province with 10,000 men, so Dai Viet should go down quickly and quietly.

My administration improves again, for some reason. Administration is based less on how big you are, and more on how well integrated and stable your territory is, as well as your sliders and national ideas. A good ruler and government also help.

The Tibetans are battered around a bit, but i am unable to rout them. The attrition rates in Tibet are insane, as they should be.

I get a breached wall in Xi Xia, so i move some more troops in and assault.

The new map. That's all of my cores and all of China united under one banner. Long live the Multiheaded Dick! Long live the Son of Heavan! May ass and leg be hit daily to honour his eternal glory.

For some reason Tibet thinks it would be a great idea to assault a 15k man army lead by a five shock general in fortified mountainous terrain. The result is pretty obvious.

I quickly blitz their northern territory. I decide not to go further as the attrition would rape me, and the forts are much stronger.

And that's all for tonight folks! Join me next time for the conclusion of the war, and some more matters of state.

 

[Gondolin]

The Son of Heaven is bringing rape to you and your neighbors, one province at a time.

 

[Nex]

I can now go to sleep content.

 

[Conkrete Knight]

I just realised why this seems so known.
Its a big blue blob, growing fat and content

Still entertaining, looking forward to you meting the Uropeans.

Head on.


Ps: Any jewish bankers yet?

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

I had some at varying points. I had to kill a level 3 banker i got because one of my Khagan's hated the Jews, Tthe other option was a stability hit, and disorder for five years. The inflation drop is the same as masters of mint, and the other bonuses are quite small. They do allow me to build artisan and urban workshops though, so i try to keep at least one around. Regarding the Europeans. I think i haven't heard much from them yet because i actually formed Qing before Manchu even historically began expanding into Ming. The European Imperialism related events should come later, and might probably fuck me in the ass at one point or another.

 

[Conkrete Knight]

An antisemite Khagan?
Dont they normally hate everyone equally?

I really thought that event was europeans only, sucks.

Also, here goes my plan of seeing jewish bankers "advising" the mongols to invade Urope.
Would have made for a good story

Would fully modernising actually stop those events, or are they hardcodet?
In my came invading the Barbary coast did not much to stop piracy, so it might be the same here.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Piracy fucks you no matter where you are. Barbary pirates just provide more events and more fucking. Piracy existed in any civilization with naval trade, to some extent, it's not really something you can get rid of, just something you can protect against.

The anti-judaic events will probably go away if i give the Jews full citizenship. It requires Humanist Tolerance AND Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, so i probably wont be able to do it. I will be getting Humanist Tolerance at one point though, it's one of the best government oriented ideas in Magna Mundi.
No events, decisions, and anything like that are hardcoded. Only the core features of the game are, and even they're somewhat moddable. The beauty of EU3 is that almost everything is in text files, so it's extremely and easily moddable.

Update should be this evening, i don't have any shit to do at the moment, so i should be able to get a lot of progress today.

 

[Nex]

Piracy fucks you no matter where you are. Barbary pirates just provide more events and more fucking. Piracy existed in any civilization with naval trade, to some extent, it's not really something you can get rid of, just something you can protect against.

The anti-judaic events will probably go away if i give the Jews full citizenship. It requires Humanist Tolerance AND Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, so i probably wont be able to do it. I will be getting Humanist Tolerance at one point though, it's one of the best government oriented ideas in Magna Mundi.
No events, decisions, and anything like that are hardcoded. Only the core features of the game are, and even they're somewhat moddable. The beauty of EU3 is that almost everything is in text files, so it's extremely and easily moddable.

Update should be this evening, i don't have any shit to do at the moment, so i should be able to get a lot of progress today.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Sup, bros.

Last time, the Khagan just finished taking all the territory that rightfully belonged to the Son of Heavan. He then turned his attention to the Dai Viet, who had the insolence to oppose his divine ambitions.

That's what you get, bitch. I'm not too concerned with infamy at the moment. If i can get a CB on Korea and annex them, then i can simply keep my main armies in the west and steadily expand westwards. I'm a bit worried I'll get some nasty infamy oriented events, though. Magna Mundi has much more C&C than Vanilla because pretty much everything you do has some sort of hidden effect.

Meanwhile, i begin revoking privileges from local nomadic leaders in Manchuria as well as encouraging urban settling. For the next settling event from hierarchical society all of my provinces must either have the minor nomadic population or be completely settled, so my northern territory will be going through a lot of conflict and turmoil. Thankfully my economic and military base have completely moved to China, so it's not that much of a problem.

My tech is improving rapidly now. I've almost caught up to all of my neighbors in land tech. Soon i will have access to the first proper gunpowder unit for my unit group, Turkish Jannisaries!(wat)

My main rivals for Western conquest will be Delhi, and later the Turks. Delhi, bizarrely, has converted to Sikhism. Sikhism has been included as a kind of reformation for Indian countries around the Punjab.

The settling process is going at a decent rate. I need to get this several times for the province to drop a level. At the moment everything is moderately nomadic, besides Haixi and Ninguta which are almost completely settled. I need to get everything down a level to at least slightly nomadic before i can get the next societal change events.

Zhiyuan ascends. He's decent. As long as i keep getting rulers with high administration it doesn't matter so much if their other stats are shit.

Finally, proper gunpowder troops. Now that my military is technologically on par with my neighbors, i look to new military expansion. I decide to go for Shan, a tribal nation. I get a mutual Horde VS Monarchy CB on them.

I attack.

I immediately move all our soldiers against Shan and her allies. I plan to quickly crush Shan and use my massive Imperial army to quickly snatch Shan's capital. Then, when Shan's back is broken, i can fight off her allies.

HURR DURR HOW AM I DOES ROLL HIGHER THAN 3 IN SHOCK AND FIRE PHASE DURP A DURP HOW AM I DOES MAKE HURTY STICK GO BOOM

Fuck you. I can't do much against them at the moment, but the next chance i get i am going to beat the shit out of Lan Xang. Opposing Heavan can only mean a painful death, be it sooner or later.

Fuck you some more. I should probably try and get at least one regiment of artillery for every army. It costs half a ducat a month per regiment, but it gives a lot of staying power, and a lack of artillery gives some severe penalties towards my officers. I should probably get Engineer Corps as well.

Fuck you too, Burma. I think the reason I'm having a lot of trouble is because my generals have abysmal fire stats, so I'm still losing out despite my improved infantry.

SPLIT THE EARTH WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER

Meanwhile, thanks to my artillery regiments, the Shan defenders quickly fall to my disciplined assaults. The death toll is high on both sides, but they cannot hold out against Qing. I get a white peace with Lan Xang. I could crush them, but it would be a very bloody and long campaign. As Sun Tzu said, cleverness has never been associated with long waits. I prefer to fulfill my initial objectives and quickly get the fuck out. The less opposition the better.

I have enough warscore to vassalise Shan, so i completely annex them. I still have Burma to deal with though. Codex, should i A: annex Burma and get a prestige peace off the rest of her allies. or B: vassalise Burma as a buffer state against the brown-faced Sikh heathens?

 

[MasterSmithFandango]

You don't paint maps by making vassals.

 

[Gondolin]

Agreed. Bag them.

 

[Fafnir]

They need to be taught to embrace the Mongol way! Conquest is the way to go! Vassals is for Romans!

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Annex it is i guess. I'm going beyond the point of no return with infamy here. It will probably speed up my expansion because everyone will be attacking me.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Sorry it's a bit late. Update tonight. It'll probably just be some state stuff but it might have a war against a certain Muslim horde...

 

[Reject_666_6]

Keep true to your goals, bro. Go west as soon as you can and dominate!

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Greetings comrades, bros, and radical commy bros. Last time, the Khagan pointed his large, fearsome imperialist member at the tribes of Shan, a mountain people south of Tibet, and the Principality of Burma, as well as a few other South Asian notables.

The outcome was never really in doubt.

Butthurt detected.

I get an event which lowers my inflation by 3, at the cost of 2 stability. Unfortunate, but with all the stability boosting events i seem to get, it shouldn't be much of a problem.

Meanwhile, i take my first step westwards. After the Chagatai Khanate i plan to absorb the greatly diminished Kazakh Khanate, and then pour into the chaotic and heavily divided middle east.

I get a whole bunch of warnings and insults from all my neighbors. This tends to happen if you're at war and have high infamy. It shouldn't be a problem as long as i don't let any war escalate into a large conflict. If i grow weak then all my neighbors will pounce, and that will be the end of Qing.

A close and bloody victory. They are tribal and nomadic, like we once were, so they have a huge advantage in morale and leadership, which give them considerable advantage. I am beating them thanks to my technological and numerical superiority, as well as my extremely disciplined troops and artillery.

I blitz Urumqi. My plan is to keep their main force busy in the west, while i smash their eastern flank to pieces. They only have level 1 forts so it's quite easy, but the high attrition rates are murder on my troops.

Their eastern army is routed, but the war isn't over yet.

The Chagatai haven't upgraded any of their forts at all despite having land tech 18 and some fairly wealthy territory. Probably because they have 50% infantry despite being fully nomadic, for some fucked up reason.

I manage to completely route their main army in a single great battle in Dzungaria. Now it's simply a matter of mopping up.

The last of their forts fall. This is the only military benefit of being settled beyond being able to spam hordes of infantry, much quicker sieges.

They are fully occupied.

I cannot annex them fully unfortunately, so i take all but two of their provinces. I'll deal with the rest of them later.

Chagatai's down, you're next, Borat. Me and my Jewish Bankers are cumming for you.

 

[Serious_Business]

World map bro?