Let's play.... ToEE with Co8

[Crooked Bee]

I and Roxxxor kick ass.

I'm a Codex Senior Popamole Eradication and Containment Tactical Recon Element.

 

[Berekän]

Berekän: Who never really got a chance to shine

I can't believe we're even considering this. The Kodex Kaster Krew was full of elven fagottry! Luckily the orcs helped cleanse most of it, killing an innocent soul in the process, whose divine task was left unfulfilled, and his many heroic deeds still unperformed. The group needs more manliness dwarfiness!!

Besides, I have a fucking bear

 

[Darth Roxor]

The group needs more manliness dwarfiness!!

Yes... Yes.

It needs

Volourn the Honourblade

 

[Ulminati]

So far we have:

1 vote for Mrowakus (Mrowak)
2 Votes for KingComrade (Thin Man, Bee)
1 (possibly 2) votes for Berekän. (Berekän, possibly Roxor)
Not sure how to interpret Roxors last post.

Anyway, if we're tied tomorrow KC option wins and I sell the scroll.

It needs

Volourn the Honourblade

I think he was before my time in fair KKKodexia. My exclamations of r00fles would ring hollow.

Besides, I have a fucking bear

Udyr got killed tho. No (''\*w*/'') for you.

I must confess I'm mildly annoyed you can't directly control animal companions. They're pretty suicidal. Same with some charmed enemies who for some reason just stand around and stare into the air instead of wailing on their previous friends.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Screw the voting, just kill 'em all and update already!

 

[Darth Roxor]

1 (possibly 2) votes for Berekän. (Berekän, possibly Roxor)
Not sure how to interpret Roxors last post.

You mad bro? Last time I checked, Berekan was not Volourn

 

[Azira]

Too many died, you cannot just bring one of them back. No, sell the scroll and get some new meatshields.

 

[Mrowak]

Screw the voting, just kill 'em all and update already!

This. Also, I don't remember voting for anyone, including myself.

 

[Deitti]

Screw the voting, just kill 'em all and update already!

this. what is the point if one does not bring new meat to the table once in awhile

 

[Ulminati]

Kingcomrade takes it

Hopefully I'll have time to update before the weekend. I wasn't joking when I said updates would be sporadic at best.

 

[Ulminati]

So I'm playing and taking screenshots now. remembered I'd forgotten some lewt. Went to fetch it before adding new poeple to the party. forced random encounter.

Bee+Roxor vs 4 ogres.

Which is better and why? Discuss!


Interesting fact: Tashe's hideous laughter doesn't get Bees CHA bonus to it's save. Ogre just saved vs 4x hideous laughter. I got suspicious, checked the rolls window. Save DC was 11.

 

[eklektyk]

Kingcomrade takes it

hmm in that pace you will run out of meatshilded red shirts soonish

anyway - do continue and stuffies, sqiushies and all that

 

[Ulminati]

Actually, I asked root what caster r00t should be. He wanted a half-orc ranger/cleric. Power attack + cleave. He's walking around in full plate, with a +2 longsword, towershield war/strength domains and a BaB only 1 lower than a fighter of his level would have. Add in feat of strength + enlarge person and you get something very big and very nasty you wouldn't want to mess with.

Otis'es Longsword +2 seems to be incorrectly flagged as a light weapon. At least that's the error I get when I try power attacking with it. If I had known, I would totally have cheesed a duel-wielding ranger with 2 longswords to the maxxx.

I think he's about as cheesy as you can get for this party. Until level 9, he's only 1 short of full BAB (and can continue if I decide to give him uneven ranger/cleric levels at that point). He wears full plate, has d8 hp, can cast healing/buff spells and has feat of strength. Assuming neither of them die a gruesome death anytime soon, he'll probably surpass Roxorowski in killcount eventually.

I also accidentally gave Bee Rapid Shot instead of Improved Precise Shot when she hit level 6 (since her and Roxor were ahead in XP compared to the n00b characters brought in next update). Sucks, since the game really loves giving monsters +4 AC for cover. Oh well, level 9 she'll start being a reliable archer.

Anyway, got a bunch of screenies. Short update in a couple of hours I hope.

[edit] Scratch that! Took them less than 3 hours to patch LoL. Shyvana is out, gotta try her!

 

[Ulminati]

So, BROs, dilemma time.

Bee the Crooked got critt'd down to -9hp. I had noone in range to splash a heal on her, so unless she stabilized (10% chance) the very next round, she'd have died. but ToEE crashed before her turn.

Since I have to re-fight the fight anyway, do I give her a free pass, or did she bleed out and die an ignoble death offscreen?

 

[Sitra Achara]

Bee -

Re Longsword: don't think you can dual it (unless you cast Enlarge Person). Power Attack - probably related to use of shield?

Re. Tasha, the DC is lowered when the target isn't the same type as you are. (It's supposed to be a +4 bonus for the victim, but that couldn't be implemented).

 

[Azira]

So, BROs, dilemma time.

Bee the Crooked got critt'd down to -9hp. I had noone in range to splash a heal on her, so unless she stabilized (10% chance) the very next round, she'd have died. but ToEE crashed before her turn.

Since I have to re-fight the fight anyway, do I give her a free pass, or did she bleed out and die an ignoble death offscreen?

If ToEE crashed, it's a clean slate. Re-do the fight, but if something similar happens, it's all up to chance again.

 

[Crooked Bee]

I can only die onscreen.

 

[Ulminati]

Re Longsword: don't think you can dual it (unless you cast Enlarge Person). Power Attack - probably related to use of shield

You should still be able to power attack when you have a shield equipped. Also, he was enlarged at the time but the longsword was dealing 2d6 base, so it was enlarged as well.

 

[Darth Roxor]

If ToEE crashed, it's a clean slate. Re-do the fight, but if something similar happens, it's all up to chance again.

 

[Ulminati]

I can't help but think we forgot something

Eh? We killed the giant, struck a badass pose, went back for drinks. Everything's accounted for

Did we loot the giant?

:shock:

Well, I guess I know where we're going once we get some meatshields

FUCK THAT! Our kill, our loot! I'm not sharing it with the schmucks we con into doing our dirty work!

So off they went. Near the site where they beheaded the giant, some hapless adventurer had lost his posessions. Including a magic chain shirt and super-fancy looking hat for a bard.

On the way back, however, the pair ran into a rather imposing-looking group of ogres.

Remind me we need to get a tracker if we make it back alive

The group made a tactical retreat. For some reason, this stopped 3 of the ogres from chasing.

Bee tried Ogre Diplomacy, but failed miserably

So Roxor took over with a set of piercing arguments

Ha! Is that all they got! Feck this elvish pussyfooting. Charge!

The ogres took offense to us stabbing their BRO full of holes. But Bee enabled the BLOOM filter

GREETINGS FRIENDS! ARE YOU SEEKING THE LIGHT!?

While the ogres were distracted by next-gen graphics, Roxor fired off every summoning he had left

and, yeah...

We are so badass

Tzeentch is pleased and rewards us with absurdly good arrays the first time an 18 pops up

I can't help but feel something's going to go horribly wrong the way these guys are rolling for stats.

So let's meet the fine additions to the KKKodex Kaster Krew:
First off there's r00t. A ranger/cleric of the God of Munchkinism

I am the harbringer of destruction. All shall crumble under the relentless fury of my fists. Only when all is dead and the universe lies still and desolate shall I know satisfaction.

Second up, the majestic Aarne, whose defining trait is a charisma so high even Black Cat would approve.

When will I get a witty one-liner?

As soon as I can be bothered to think up a persona for you, my friend. I haven't slept for 30 hours.

Well, bugger.

And finally, a fortress fo vast intellect, who will bend the laws of cosmos to her will. The one and --

Hang on a fucking second.

What?

Did you just self-insert the wizard you submitted for Mrowaks LP? That's low, BRO, even for you.

Why the fuck am I arguing with a figment of my imagination? Look, the way KKKodex updates are going this is your one chance of seeing the light of day. Heck, I even tried submitting you to Pacos BG2 LP. How often does that get updated?

Less than twice a year. Ok, you made your point. Proceed.

Actually, question: Why is it your picture looks bigger than mine? It's going to play havoc with the DISCUSS! layout.

Apparently KKKodex cannot into uniform sizes on avatars. That's where ulminati's hotlinking us from.

Hotlinking? Is that some elven faggotry term for magic?

In laymans terms, the wizard admitted she's fat

I'm not sure how I will cause your death, anorexic skank, but I know it will be spectacular.

Also, since Penny brought along Craft Wondrous Item (and the party will always have a wizard) I go ahead and splurge all of our goldz on a headband of intellect

And by that you meant a cloak of charisma and some gloves of dexterity? To make the bard even more awesome.

No, just plain intelligence. Useful for a wizard.

That's it for now. Stay tuned for more!

Hang on a fucking second. We fight one encounter and you roll up some shit new meatshields. that's it?

Yeah, sorry. Got a bit of a headache.

I've seen DLC with more content than this. Lame!

 

[eklektyk]

well thats some nice wizardress ...

few more such updates and i may fail my will save and instal TOEE myself

 

[Crooked Bee]

Short, but high-quality update. Many laughs were had.


And Bee is quite badass, despite being an anorexic bard.

 

[Ulminati]

Update # stuffies. I'm so drunk right now.

So with everyone assembled, the party went back to finish mopping up at Hickory branch. Sitra Arachna promised there would be Tasteful Raep since the orcs are supposed to fortify the place if you don't clear it on one go. I predict a rapid of this LP.

First off sweeping the ground level, we encounter a bunch of doggies

Root gets buffed up and enlarged. With predictable results

DESPAIR, MORTALS! I HAVE COME TO END YOU!

Majestic Aarne enables next-gen filter effects. the rest of the fight is a walkover.

We find the source of the mangy mutts. Bee conducts Orc Diplomacy™

This party has more BLOOM than that retarded sequence when you exit the vault in fallout 3

Aarne actually manages to place a perfect burning hands Meanwhile, the doggies make amourous advances towards Bee

Get it off! Get it off of me! I just had these pantaloons cleaned!

The orc trainer is remorseful that his doggies behaved so poorly and voulenteered to walk in front of the group for a bit and absorb damage to make amends.

The sweep continues at ground level. We've yet to find that cave the orcs were talking about.

Another fight breaks out. This time, an enemy caster manages to get off an AoE silence on the party

Not that r00t seems to have noticed

IF THE GODS HAD WANTED YOU TO LIVE, THEY WOULD NOT HAVE CREATED ME!

The gnolls pile the damage on r00t. Things are beginning to look fairly worrysome

WHAT THE WEAKLING MORTAL NARRATOR FORGETS IS THAT R00T IS THE AVATAR OF DESTRUCTION AND MERCYLESS SLAUGHTER MADE FLESH

Buttloads of XP ensue, bee and Roxor level up

No you will not! you will lay down your arms and await the supreme commander!

And if I don't?

[The orc considers.] Well, then I will go and inform Lord Hungous that you are not cooperating!

Just go and do whatever you want, captain. Out of my way!

WHAT FAGGOTRY IS THIS!? I DESIRE TO CRUSH THIS PITIFUL MORTAL UNDER MY HEEL!

I know. But it almost feels as if we have no choice but to play through these monologues.

[Sullenly.] If you're quite finished breaking the fourth wall. I do have an evil villain speech to deliver here.

Can you make it brief? Long dialogues tend to cause the narrator to make short updates.

Fine, but you will regret this day...the day you came to Jickory Brance...the day you sold your souls to your petty gods so that Hickory Branch might fall. The army of Hickory Branch will never be defeated. Never! We are vast and powerful. We are many, and we are hidden and cunning. And Lord Hungous will never bow to you. You cannot defeat us!

Yes, yes. Very inspiring speech and stuffies. Are you quite done now?

I am. But I will see your head on a pike before the day is over. Foolish cretins! [the orc runs off]

The party comes across a dire bear. Seemingly stuck in a pit with no way out.

There can be only one response!

We've cleared pretty much the entire map, still no sign of caves

A promising entrance is found!

And shortly after this point, my game crashed. But since I'm through my backlog of screenies, I'll let you all wait and winder what kind of fight nearly cost Bee the Crooked her life.

 

[Lonely Vazdru]

The party comes across a dire bear. Seemingly stuck in a pit with no way out.

Yup, and that's a shame. The Dire Bear is a powerful monster with a rather high CR, I don't understand why the poor beast is still stuck in that pit after different versions. It's just easy XP.

 

[Ulminati]

Much as it's linear as fuck, hickory branch is actually decently entertaining. On my previous ToEE runs I've always gotten bored sometime after the moathouse and uring nulb. I don't think I've actually been to the temple yet ever. So this is pretty much a blind LP for me at this point. I'll probably skip whatever quests there are in Nulb so I won't get over-leveled for the temple. It should be the next stop after I clear out hickory branch.

Which leads to an interesting conundrum. Do I go to that tower the bartender spoke of and offer us up to serve the Temple of Biowarian Evil, or do I just kick in the door and kill shit. No gods, no masters?