Let's Play Ultima Underworld 2: World 6 Pits Of Carnage! 1/2

[Ammar]

And remember there's a Mend Item spell. BTW I prefer the Axe of Fire Doom to the lifestealing one. You can also pick it up much earlier in the game. It's clear though, that axes are the best weapons in this game. The Sword of Stone Strike isn't bad, but it doesn't really work as quickly.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

Not to mention that UW2 has a huge issue with Sound Blaster cards trying to play those digital sound effects. Maybe DOSBox has found a way around that.

Digitial voice? Yep, the guardian is speaking albeit rarely.

Actually, it's the footsteps. If the game begins to stutter every time the game is supposed to play a footstep sound (and skips playing the sound in the process) then it's conked out and you need to exit and restart the game.

If that happens, you're best off turning off digital sound effects, as I can't remember this ever being fixed, not by a patch or fan modification.

 

[someone else]

Re: Let's Playeth Ultima Underworld 2

^Dosbox doesn't have this problem. I used to play this with PC speakers. I haven't won this game in more than 10 years I believe.

Hmm 2 blackwomen (including me) in the castle and not a single blackman?

???

As the song goes,"It Doesn't Matter if You're Black or White". MJ is a special case.


As for the best weapon type, all three melee weapon types have their + and -. I prefer to enchant my own weapon in the end. Maces have the best damage, swords have the best trainer, axes have nice special effects. Magical swords appear early, followed by axes then maces. I'm already wielding a weak magical shortsword from the headless lair. I'm thinking of going for mace for something different.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

An interesting approach to melee combat (but one that is dull as dishwater) is just to use your fists. Your fists never get damaged, they double as lockpicks against less-than-massive doors/chests and you save yourself from carrying the weight of a heavy weapon. But UW2 has too many cool magic weapons for this to be encouraged, especially in a LP thread.

I also just remembered a spell that's pretty much a joke, Deadly Seeker. It takes multiple castings of this spell just to kill a worm. And someone thought it was a good idea to make a wand with this spell?

 

[someone else]

I've found several uses for the deadly seeker.

1) When you are fighting lurkers from the shore, and the lurker flees from you into the water. A seeker will chase it down and the lurker will swim back to attack you.

2) Fire it out of sight of groups and it will pull monsters so you can take them on one by one.

3) It doesn't expire when it hits furniture so it can be used to blow up chests.

I seem to recall hitting myself with this spell before.

 

[someone else]

Part 2: Sewers 2/2.

So, anyone with a cunning plan? No? Well let's skip the gazers then. Oh yes? Man with the physique of a demigod in the back?

If it bleeds, we can kill it.

Really! Is it! Well, lucky-lucky us. Lucky-lucky-luck.

*reads the manual* There is a third level spell called bleeding, A silly named spell added in UW2 to fill in the lack of close range offensive spells in the first Underworld. Rather powerful spell this ... it bleeds a creature. Heh. The damage improves with casting skill (10+1/2casting) and ignores armour.

The Avatar has the runes but unfortunately she's a level short of qualifying to cast it.

That's not going to work is it governor? (guess who comes up first when you google governor) Oh well, no choice but to come back when you are stronger. Unless you want to smash them with a log or something.

Pardon me my lord, but I too have a cunning plan to kill the gazers.

Let's hear it.

Well I was thinking. You see, since the gazers are stronger than the Avatar, why not get the gazers to kill each other?

Oh yes, spiffing idea! Hmmm, maybe we can trick them into fighting each other! Then swope in and kill them when they are at death's door.

Riiiight. I mean, make it so.

It's worth a shot.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mages start with the MANI rune which allows me to cast create food. First set us up the base where I can rest, then lets go get those gazers!

Listen to Ultima Underworld 2 "Winning" music:
http://www.taconf.com/tom/mp3/mt32/[Ultima Underworld II] Fleeing Enemy.mp3

I charge straight in close so the first gazer cannot lightning bolt me. Gazers do not shoot when I am too close or when there is no clear line of sight, but sometimes, especially when the gazers move around, the lightning bolts hit each other accidently. Which is what I'm trying to get the one behind to do.

After some cat and mouse game, the first gazer is badly hurt from friendly fire, I quickly spam magic arrow to score the killing blow, giving me the XP.

Now it's one-to-one, taking advantage of corners, I conduct hit-and-run attacks and slowly whittle it down with magic arrows. Whenever the gazer gets a clear shot at me, I turn around and race back down the corridor. I missed a few shots and ran out of mana, ending up finishing it off with my wand of magic arrow.
Yay, killing the gazers advanced me to level 5.

Looting time! Unable to pick the lock, I smash their chest open. The EX rune is most valuable. It means FREEDOM, allowing me to cast the open spell. Look, there is even a lantern.

Let's look at the map, I need to return to the blue area to continue.

This leads to a big cavern with stone walkways. Passive giant bats fly around, they hover in your face when they get close. I bat my sword at them to make them go away.

Lurkers lurk in the water but they don't attack. Some sections of the walkway rises and lowers, allowing me to get back up in case I fall into the water.

There are some rooms in the sewers, used by the maintenance workers.

This deserted room has a note:
"Sabo, have you seen what's going on with the moving platform system? One of the main elevators is jammed, and I don't even want to talk about the ones near the castle ladder. Also, I'm having more problems with the giant slugs in my office. Is there anything you can do?
- Harry"

Looks like Sabo's room, Sabo's dead, I am greeted by a swarm of hungry rotworms instead. The food found here are rotten. Bleh!

Looks like Harry's room, Harry's dead, acid spitting slugs have taken up residency. Amongst some bones I found a note:
"Harry -- I'm not going to be able to get you that slug repellent until Thursday, so I hope you can hold on until then. In the meantime, I'd stop storing food in your office. -Sabo"

Food attracts giant man-eating invertebrates.
Don't you love reading messages left behind by the dead? I hope Looking Glass Studios expand this idea into their future games.

I then cast Waterwalk and explore the waterways and found a small ledge.

There's a non-hostile ghost up there, it's a bit high so I cast jump. The current active spells are shown at the bottom left. I can cancel active spells by clicking on its icon.
The manual calls the spell jump for those of you who actually read the game text.

I leap up, discovering that it leads to a dead end with a box. Can you spot the ghost? Opening the box with anger the ghost, so I begun preparing my attack spell, bleeding.

Inconceivable!
The developers actually bother to classify bleeding and non-bleeding monsters. I switch to magic arrow and start running and shooting.

I decided to run back up the walkway and fight on solid ground instead of water, which turns out to be a good idea as the ghost drops some treasures which would had been lost had it fallen into the water.

Going back to the ghost's box I find a chain cowl and a scroll. The unidentified scroll is actually a scroll of repel undead which can be used against the ghost. Most importantly, the chain crowl is in fact one of the most powerful items in the game, a chain cowl of Valor! It provides a bonus to your weapon skills based on the Avatar's casting skill (10+1/5casting), a boon to a mageling like me. Wearing this will actually make me a semi-decent warrior. Balance in all things, as they say.
Thing is, you won't notice items are magical unless you are skilled in lore and if your skill is high enough, you can identify the item. For instance the shortsword I'm holding now is mildy enchanted, I believe I picked it up from the headless lair. I'll get them identified with a spell later.

There will be quite a few magical items to be found but I won't point them out unless they are special.

Let us look at the map defore descending to the next level. There are three exits to the next level and I took most southeastern one.

The Avatar emerges east of an underground lake. Those bats sure love me!

I jumped into the lake, and was swept south by the current which leads to a raised platform. Someone was fishing here and left a fishing pole behind. Fishing poles can be used to catch fish. Strange, why is there lavafalls in the southeastern part of the lake? Poking around doesn't reveal anything.

Heading north, I encounter bloodworms, the lake is infested with them.

Bloodworms are weak but their bite is poisonous. The shore happens to be littered with leeches which can be picked up and used to draw poison from your body. I strongly recommend a course of leeches should you get multiple bites.

North of the lake leads me to two tunnels. Left or right?

Left.
Warning! Entering dangerous area.

I spy with my little eye, something beginning with "H".

Another one. Did they hear me and ran out to investigate? They must have their heads in the clouds since they didn't spot me. I shuffled my feet a bit and they heard me and turned to attack.

I be Helicopter, mighty mage of Britannia!
They are easy prey thanks to my bleeding spell. I can take them in melee as well thanks to my chain cowl of Valor.

In total, I killed four headless, hmm I wonder which is the head of the familiy? Searching their abode, I found a wand of lightning bolt.
Now back to the right tunnel.

Whoa! A colony of dread spiders! Dread spiders are the strongest of spider kind, their venom is most potent. They don't look very happy to see me but at least they are not attacking.

And they come at night... mostly.

You wish, fortunately day and night cycles have no effect on the local fauna. This was a problem in the earlier versions of Tamriel, a guy can't even step out of the door after dark without being ambushed by all manner of ghastly creatures. I honesty wonder what the city walls are for.

If I touch their eggs, shit will hit the fan. But I'm not going to do something that stupid right?

Of course not, it is safer to take the eggs after they are dead. So I just take them out one by one from the mouth of their nest. I had to retreat once to rest but in the end I got the eggs and the XP. What am I to do with these eggs anyway?

Heading southwest of the lake, I came across more tunnels and see a green goblin!
Do they speak?
More importantly, do they speak proper Ultima English?

(Honesty) It must have been someone else.

But we have seen with our own eyes! We have witnessed you in mighty combat with the green monsters!
Henceforth, thou shalt be called among my people Wormslayer. Wouldst thou accept a token of our esteem?

Certainly.

We are a humble people, but please take this fish.

Fish? If you want to give me something useful, get me a big stick with a nail in the end and somebody who deserves a damn good thrashing.

Who are you?

We are the Moglop goblin tribe. Who art thou?

I am Helicopter. Are there many of you here?

Only a few if us were trapped in here by the black stone. Our tribes lives on the surface, many miles from here. We come here from time to time to hunt and fish, and to escape the endless petty warfare between other goblin tribes. Now, though, we are trapped here now by the black stone. The only other way out is through the castle, and we would not take such a risk.

Thou shouldst not be here -- you are trespassers!

"Get out of here goblins!" will be preferable.

We have been coming here for decades, and no one has ever told us to leave. I'd be more inclined to say that thou art the one trespassing!

My apologies, sir. Thou art of course welcome here.

What dost thou live on down here?

In our visits underground, we of the Moglop have become expert hunters and trackers. How else could we survive in the barren stone caves of the underworld?

The goblin can teach the Avatar tracking. I don't know about you but I prefer learning about killing things than tracking them.

Have you seen other humans here?

We have seen one other. He says his name is Fussip, or something like that. We goblins and he are not friends. He is a scoundrel and a thief.

Art thou familiar with these sewers?

We know there is a large cavern to the northeast, and a great pool within it. We once tried to fish there, but the shores of the lake were home to dangerous carnivorous worms.

Dost thou know more?

We have seen a small island in the center of the lake, but none of us have visited it. I am afraid that is all we know of the area.

'Tis a pleasant surprise to find peaceful goblins.

What happened to the LOL dumb, rotworm stew-loving, privy-falling goblins of the first Ultima Underworld?
If you pick hostile responses the goblin will only warn that they will defend themselves if attacked. Looks like the gloves are still on at this stage. But only for dialogue, wandering into the wrong tunnel can get you killed.

There are 2 other goblins to chat with:

I am Helicopter, Avatar of Britannia.

Well met. I am Rogwump, Goblin of the Sewers.

You're awfully polite for a goblin.

And you're very peaceful for a human! Most of 'em come at us swinging a sword when they see us, you know.

Goblins exist to be killed. And killed they will be, if not by this generation then by some future. By what right does this forgotten future seek to deny us our birthright? None I say! Let us kill what is ours, loot and gain our XP.

The Ethics of Greed in an RPG?

What do you goblins eat?

Fish, fish, nothing but fish! I can't stand 'em any more! And you know, I used to love to eat fish?

What kind of fish are there down here?

Bass, mostly. They're pretty easy to bag. But you know what?

No, what?

I saw a flying fish last week. Figured I'd catch it, have a meal that tasted a little different. Wouldn't take any bait I could find, though.

So, what did you do?

Found myself a nice, shiny looking glass, and held it over the water. Fish comes flying out, jumping at its reflection, and bashed its brains out! And you know what else?

What?

IT TASTED JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER FISH! I can't stand it any more! Weeds, I'll find some nice weeds to eat, that's it!

Perhaps thou wouldst care to barter.

Would I! Thou dost know how to take a hint!

This opens up the barter window, he doesn't have anything I need, too bad for him.

The last goblin:

Amusing name, but cannot top "Unfulfilled Desire".

What are you goblins doing down here?

Aaaak ptoo! Can't find our way back home. Gotta fill our time down here with somethin' besides eating and sleeping.

And how exactly do you fill your time?

Well, phah! I've taken up coughing, hacking, and spitting. If we ever get out of here, I'll win next season's spitting contest for sure. I can spit a good twenty yards, want to see?

Aye, that I would like to see.

I'll bet you would. Too bad I'm not going to show you! Harf harf harf harf!

Harf harf harf harf!

Is there something wrong with your throat?

Hak hak hak! Well, I do have a bit of a cold. But not much of one.

Perhaps thou should drink some alcohol.

Well, it might not do my throat much good. Akkkkkh phlah! But it sure would hit the spot! What'll ya take in trade?

Here I am evaluating the trade, I'm trying to get his pole and some leeches in exchange for some ale I stole from Dupre's room.

There is little else of interest so I say my goodbyes and continue down the tunnels.

Past the goblins is the rat warrens, full of non hostile rats but sadly for them, the Avatar is hostile to rats.

But at the end of the warrens, a fearsome creature awaits:

Sssh, the reaper's nearly blind and hasn't heard me yet. Fissip mentioned he lost the ket to the armoury to it. It's hidden in the alcove in the back.

Oh, I've been spotted. The reaper is stronger than gazers but it doesn't have a range attack. Think I can take it on?

If it bleeds, we can kill it.

True, I have the mighty bleeding spell which can take out the toughest monster with my huge mana reserve.

Oh snap! Does it even have sap?

RUUUUUUN! GOOOO! GET TO DA CHOPPAH!!!

You always overact.

I'll just take it out from afar with magic missile.
Did I say magic missile? I meant magic arrow.
I cast magic arrows until I exhausted my mana but the tough bark absorbs most of the damage. This foe is beyond me.
*Looks at my wand of lightning bolt*
Best to conserve the wand.
The Reaper moves very slowly so all I need to do is to evade it and grab the key.

I cast resist blows and prepare runes of healing. Then rush past it into the alcove to retrieve the armoury key.

Care must be taken not to get trapped by the Reaper, it can block your way out like this. Do it fast! It didn't help that finding the key is a pixel hunt, it's hidden in some trash.

Booooo.

Boo? Why boo?

A dangerous situation, What if the player only uses one savegame and saves in the alcove after picking up the key with the Reaper blocking his exit?

You mean if he restores his game, he finds himself trapped by the Reaper and gets killed everytime?

Yes, to safeguard against this, an autosave system should be implemented, saving before every dangerous encounter.

Good idea! Sometimes I forgot to save my games and have to replay long tracts of a level, like those... like those... console games! With their horrible savepoints! Autosaves? Bravo!

The Underworld Series come with only 4 save slots, I have to make backups for this LP.

I got the key and quickly scope up the treasure lying around on my way out. There is a jeweled sword of major damage hidden in a plant. I have to search the plant to reveal it. This is a powerful weapon that can be found early in the game.

Leaving the reaper behind, I went back to the lake and swam to the small island as described by the goblins.

A skeleton guards the ladder down on the island. A feeble opponent that uses its arm as a weapon.

Before we proceed down the ladder; a map of the second level of the sewers.

The next level is small, with a large blackrock gem in the center of a pool. This must be the thing Nystul and Nelson are talking about.

The tunnels south yield a couple of ghosts and some vermin but more importantly there is a shortcut back to the castle which I take.

After reporting to Miranda, I return to my room and arrange my inventory. What a mess!

Some of the castle occupants have new dialogue.
Here is a sample:

Sir Dupre:

The Guardian has been harassing me in my sleep. 'Tis most annoying.

What does he say to thee?

He hath made a variety of threats on my person, which of course are empty. Once he offered me a brewery of mine own, were I to betray thee and Lord British. Canst thou imagine? Only one brewery!

Surely thou wouldst not betray us for all the world's ale!

'Twas only a jest, Avatar. Of course not!

Even in his sleep he thinks of ale, this man needs help.

Nanna the head servant has a question:

Avatar, what do heroes such as thee DO all day?

Well, we slay monsters and solve puzzles. (RPGs as defined by the Avatar)

Today I counted, inspected and stored 73 separate items of food, chased 2 giant rats out of the cellars with just a broom, served two meals to the entire castle, and kept Patterson out of trouble the entire day, mostly. I suppose they'll never name an island after me, though.

*she sighs.*

I hope they never will, The Isle Of Nanna just doesn't sound RPGish enough, sorry.

Charles the servant is worried:

Avatar, we would have a chance of surviving this imprisonment, except for one thing.

What is that?

Water! There is food here to last for months, but unless we think of something soon, we shall die of thirst within the week.

A water crisis? I don't suppose you want me to find a water chip.

If you need to, you have all the time in the world to find it. The world waits for you, there is no time limit. Unlike some 'other' game.

Phew! And here I was worrying that those poor people in the castle may die!

Mayor Patterson tries to be helpful:

I have heard thou hast begun exploring beneath the castle -- surely there is naught there but a few rotten supplies, musty tunnels... I'm sure the libraries would prove more productive.

I am not so sure... perhaps some hidden exit tunnel?

Perhaps thou art right... but I fear the gem has sealed us in for good.

Lady Tory:

I am sensing particulary great anxiety and turmoil in Patterson.

Canst thou divine the cause?

Nay, there is too much confusion in his mind. Patterson claims that he has received no taunts from the Guardian, but I am sure he is lying. I suspect that the Guardian has been particulary cruel to him. 'Twould be wise for me to speak with him again.

An empath? I must say, Counselor Troy erm I mean Counselor Tory certainly reminds me of somebody I knew when I was a starship captain.

Isn't she from Serpent's Hold, where some of the personnel were an allusion to the crew of Star Trek: The Next Generation?

Really? Who was me then?

Some guy called Lord John-Paul, Commander of the Keep. There were also Sir Horffe, Captain of the Guard, a Gargoyle raised by Human parents and Sir Jordan, a blind tinker as well as others who resemble the rest of the crew.

Nobody mentioned this to me. Why wasn't I in UW2 instead? I've always wanted to be in an RPG, even if my character gets killed.

A visit to the storeroom shows that the food is still a "day-old" despite me having slept a couple of weeks! Immershun ruined!

Using the key retrieved from the reaper, the Avatar raids the castle armoury. Woot plate armour!
Chainmail or platemail! Which is better and why? Discuss!
I decided to stick to chain as it is lighter. I believe I have a couple of magical leather vests as well. But I'm tired of walking around in non-matching armour.
The armoury also contains magical leather leggings of Stealth and a dagger of Unsurpassed Accuracy.

Overloading herself with armaments and supplies, the Avatar prepares to return to investigate the blackrock gem.

One facet glows brightly, closer examination reveals a hazy vision of another world.

*Holding her breath, the Avatar steps through the portal into another world.*


Current stats:
Level 9
Offensive spells:
Level 1 - Magic arrow
Level 3 - Bleeding

 

[1eyedking]

Shit those were Mayday and his brother. Or Mayday in front of a mirror. Whatever.

 

[Silellak]

I'd forgotten how many "monsters" in the UW games weren't hostile unless you did something to piss them off. This is pretty unique among dungeon crawlers, I think.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

Wow. You have just entered the first facet of the Blackrock gem now and you're already a Level 9 asskicker. If you could access the whole of the Britannian Sewers (a handful of places are only accessble later on) you could propably go well beyond Level 10.

I rarely used Plate Mail armour as it was way too heavy, but depending on circumstance I would use Plate helmets, gauntlets and boots.

When I play this game, I always go for the "horde everything" approach. Which means the storeroom on Level 2 gets emptied out in about 5 minutes, and the Prison Tower gives me a real headache.

 

[someone else]

Wow. You have just entered the first facet of the Blackrock gem now and you're already a Level 9 asskicker.

In my previous plays as a sword swinger, I've always avoided the gazers and dread spiders. I'm surprised how good a mage is, I honesty didn't expect to kill the gazers.

When I play this game, I always go for the "horde everything" approach. Which means the storeroom on Level 2 gets emptied out in about 5 minutes, and the Prison Tower gives me a real headache.

I like to keep a display room of treasure and arms. Broke the game once, too many items in one map and stuff started disappearing when I drop items. I learnt to keep my hoard in separate locations.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

I got those errors in UW1. Every single piece of gold I ever collected ended up in the Dwarf King's Throne Room. Including the contents of his Treasure Room. Oddly, he was not impressed by the fact that his bedroom contained 99% of all the gold in the Stygian Abyss. Ungrateful little runt.

Only once did that break the game for me though, when one part of the Triforce Key went "poof". Sadly the game did not permit me to take the more direct route into the final chamber (Jump into the central shaft from a higher level.) which would have been pure awesome.

Oh, and I never saw a reason to play as anything else than a musclebound murderer. That allowed me to carry the most amount of stuff. Rolling your stats to get STR 30 is not an amusing task though- even if the stat rolls are always the same and in the same order.

EDIT: Typo.

 

[WalterKinde]

I had forgotten how deep the first dungeon/sewers were and that the creatures were not automatically all hostile ready to kill you at first site like all the modern rpg games today.

 

[GarfunkeL]

I <3 your puns and the commentators! Keep up the good work! We have a shitload of great LPs around here, aren't we thrice blessed?

 

[Redeye]

Pre-op tranny?

 

[someone else]

Pre-op tranny?

There's a pre-pre-op pic in the 1st post if you are observant. Hint: It's in the sewers.
I did a word count, the first post has 5000+ words, 2nd has 3000+, the 3rd will be around the same as the 2nd.

 

[someone else]

Part 3: World 1 - Prison Tower.

Previously, the Avatar just entered another world through the blackrock gem. Now let's hear her story.

Can I read my Underworld poem?

Go ahead Baldrick.

I prefer not to, isn't there enough text in this LP already?

:
I emerge in a small locked room with dirty brown floor, ahead of me lies a badly damaged locked door.
The walls are green and the music grim, the place is fit for a king.

:
Opening it is the only option.
I pick it despite my lack of lockpick education.

:
I walk into some sort of basement, this warrants a full investigation.
Under a box hides a food voucher, maybe it will come in handy in the future.
Let's go upstairs and see who are the mysterious inhabitants, I pray that they are not belligerent.

:
I enter what appears to the first floor of a tower.
What I see makes me cower!
There are many goblins and they don't look all friendly!
My breeches are starting to get very smelly!

Enough poetry! Let the Avatar parley!

What rebels? What hills? Where am I?

What art thou playing at? No one comes to the prison tower by accident, stranger, so I bid thee, give us the password at once, or face the consequences.

Listen to Ultima Underworld 2 "Prison Tower":

http://beemp3.com/download.php?file=4536260&song=Prison+Tower

I do not know it.

So thou hast entered the prison tower without knowing the password? Thou art a fool!

1: Thou shalt fall before my Avatar-like might.
2: I am merely delivering supplies to the kitchen, sir.
3. Stand aside, and I will reward thee for thy prudence.

This is what happens if you choose response 1. The goblins are difficult for new characters but they don't follow you down the stairs, giving you chance to rest and heal. The developers give little XP for killing them as they want to encourage peaceful resolutions.

(Honesty) I am merely delivering supplies to the kitchen, sir.

Where is thy delivery voucher?

Here it is.

'Tis a poor likeness, but I find no fault in it. You may pass, then, stranger.

If you didn't find the hidden food voucher, you can still bribe the guard with gold. The catch is that you have to do some exploring in the sewers to get gold, a direct path through the sewers will not yield any gold.

I'm taking the peaceful talky-talky path so prepare for lots of copy and paste dialogue.

The first floor is the guardsroom, the second story looks like the barracks.

There are three types of goblins. the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

First the Bad: These goblins harass me when I approach them. Tossing insults like:

(Goblin 1) Hey Freemis, who let the ape in?

(Goblin 2) Is that hair, or has grass taken root on thy head?

(Goblin 1) Hurry up with my food, monkey-girl!

(Goblin 2) Hey, humie, tell your friends in the kitchen to hurry up!

(Goblin 3) And tell Marcus not to be so free with his tongue!

(Goblin 1) Beware, human, lest we think up any new and funnier insults!

*The goblins laugh.*

Did I take the wrong turn and entered GD?

Also, all these goblins look the same, perhaps they have difficulty telling humans apart too? Maybe I can use this to my advantage...

Freemis, the only goblin here with a name.

Why dost thou make an issue of species?

*He stretches lazily on his bunk.

Is it not clear, humie? Thy race was made to serve mine! 'Tis the will of the Guardian, else why would he send us plenty, and blight thy lands with plague and famine?

All who deal with the Guardian are his slaves lackwit.

Then thou art the slave of a slave, lackwit, and I suggest that thou watch thy loose tongue, in the future.

Better a slave of a slave than a... git!

Another goblin idling in a separate room.

A weapon, to avenge mine honor!

Do not give way to anger here, human -- they will kill thee!

Thank thee for the advice -- now stand back!

I warn thee, keep thy temper!

That's the Good goblin, too bad he's going to die like the others.

And finally Ugly behind a door.

HEY! Canst not a guy take a shower hereabouts?

Sorry!

Looks like the developers aren't comfortable with nudity.

Real goblins have huge peckers!

There's something odd about that loincloth.

And this classic thong could be yours for only $12.99.

Third floor's the kitchen. There's a guard, him name Janar.

Hast thou food to offer?

Nay, nay, look in the kitchen, take what thou wouldst! Don't worry, I won't tell, and I'll bet Marcus won't either! HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

I always enjoy taking my shift here! We're in the kitchen, friend, my favorite place to be! You see, I'm a distant cousin to the Regent, and so I make sure the captain posts me here as often as possible.

Why post a guard to the kitchen?

The servants are... Well, they are like you, they are... friends to the goblin race, but somehow not quite such... close friends as thou seem to be. Dost thou take my meaning?

Nay, I am sorry. Could you explain it again?

I hate to put it crudely, but... you might call them, not so much as slaves, as... subordinate allies, you might say. Yes, I think that will do nicely.

I understand, it is a necessary measure.

I see we understand each other. 'Tis a pity, so few humans are able to swallow their nationalistic pride and take part in the reshaping of our world! It is to be hoped that soon more of you will join us.

Indeed. My countrymen are fools.

'Tis true, 'tis true. This war is a very sad thing.

War. War doth changes not.

*Janar looks pensive for a moment.*

Well! Enough sentimental talk. Wilt thou have some food?

Aye, and thank thee.

Thou wilt find it in the kitchen, to the east! I shall be seeing thee.

To the kitchen! I find a couple of humans there.

Poor sod.

Hopefully the other human still has a tongue.

I have come to slay all the goblins I can find!

You have slain the goblins -- then thou're with the resistance?

Nay, I merely enjoy seeing things die.

Flee, Marcus! 'Tis a madman!

Occasionally the game allows me to give crazy responses.
Result: They flee from me and refuse to talk. Reload.

I am the Avatar, and I travel where virtue guides me.

I see. And what does virtue guide thee to do here?

I know not, until I understand the situation better.

I see. Then know this, and then do what thou must.

My name is Felix. I was once Prince of Fyrna in the north, and my men and I were among the first to fall, plague-weakened, starved, to the goblin armies. It pleased them to make a slave of an aristocrat, but I know not how my men fared.

But what is this place?

Truthfully, I know not. Some sort of important prison. Some say it holds a captive demon, others say 'tis Bishop himself.

Bishop?

What dost thou know about Bishop?

If one human can win this war, 'tis he! They say he fears nothing, and cannot be beaten in the field. It is said he is allied with darker powers even than the goblins are!

Then how was he defeated?

The rotten gobs have a Titan backing them -- they say it's the Guardian, and they've promised him something in return for blighting our cattle and crops!

The Guardian? Who can tell me more about this?

You need only continue thy path upwards, to discover all. Above us lies Borne, the captain of the guards, and above him are the cells.

But thou must be gone from here now! The guards return every twenty minutes! Perhaps I shall see thee again!

May I do something to aid thee?

Thou must kill Freemis!

Who is Freemis?

He led the company of goblins that captured me and Marcus, my best knight. Later, he made me watch as they mutilated him. If you killed him, I would give thee my most prized possession.

What is that?

It is a cornucopia -- a basket of food which refills itself! I have used it sparingly, and it should last thee some time. I had it with me when the gobs caught me, and they never guessed its value! Now it is the last of my family's wealth.

Yeah, yeah, thanks.

The bastard lives on the floor below us, in the barracks -- I see him every day! I would dearly love to see thee destroy him!

Justice, or is it revenge must wait, upwards!

The fourth floor is the towers' smithy and armoury, the door to the armoury is locked.

The goblin with the club is the armourer.

*An irritable goblin looks up from his work.*

Don't tell me, let me guess! I suppose this time you want them all made out of gold! Or Ice! Or roast beef!

What art thou talking about?

I'm talking about these infernal fraznium gauntlets! 'Tis like trying to forge links of wax, or resin! And no doubt THOU art come from the capital to demand gauntlets of buttered toast!

Why do you make these fraznium gauntlets?

I haven't the slightest idea! The security here is so tight, I don't even know where I am! All I know is, I'm a goblin in a room making gauntlets out of fraznium, because the Guardian wants it that way.

If it were me, I know how I would do it.

Well, then how?

What wilt thou give me if I tell thee?

Well, what wouldst thou like?

1: Hast thou any... gold?
2: Dost thou know... the password?

I can take the gold off his body later.

Dost thou know... the password?

Well, I can't tell thee that, ma'am. Well, look, don't tell a soul I told thee. And tell me thy idea first.

Could one not make them from ordinary iron, and then put on a thin fraznium coating?

Yes... yes, I suppose that could work! I won't ask how thou didst think of that. Oh, the password? It's "shibboleth," but don't tell anyone I told thee! Now begone, thou dost make me nervous!

Canst thou lend me a pair of thy gauntlets?

Certainly -- I know not why you might want a pair, but you are welcome to take this one.

One! One fraznium gauntlet! AH AH AH AH AH!

The fifth floor, office of the Guard-Captain.
There is another locked room which has a plaque that reads: Danger -- Do not enter without armed escort.

The Guard-Captain, do you enjoy the rear perspective?

Lorca Batan! Thou'rt here already?

1. My name isn't "Lorca," it's "Helicopter," and don't you forget it!
2. The trade winds favored my voyage. 'Tis great to be here!

Is Honesty a virtue? Is the Avatar Lawful Stupid? After all this, will it end in bloodshed?

The trade winds favored my voyage. 'Tis great to be here!

Nah. Continue with the charade.

'Tis a relief that thou hast come -- thy "friend" upstairs has given us no end of trouble.

What friend is that?

*The Guard-Captain looks at you strangely.*

I mean Bishop, of course! Did they not tell thee?

Of course, of course. I merely misunderstood thee.

Even in captivity, he has resisted our interrogator's finest efforts. If we had his knowledge of rebel tactics, we could end this war within a year, crush the last human... er, rebel resistance. As it is, he just sits there smugly, waiting for his friends to break in and rescue him.

What exactly are we talking about, here?

I must know what he is thinking! I thought perhaps one of his own people might break him down.

Can't you do deal with him yourself?

I tell thee, he is like a rock -- we cannot move him!

I shall crack him like a walnut, my friend.

The results of thy visit are eagerly awaited in the capital. These gauntlets shall get thee through the forcefield, and the password is "fisticuffs"; the guard will let thee through.

On my way!

One! Two! Two fraznium gauntlets! AH AH AH AH AH!

Using the password I pass the security checkpoint on the sixth floor. The seventh floor holds the cells.

You can look into the windows into the cells.

There is a goblin in there. Can't talk to him now, Bishop is more important.

A forcefield? I wear the frazinum gauntlets which allows me to pass.

Ah Bishop! ... erm am I interrupting something?

Why, no, I am Helicopter, Avatar of the Eight Virtues. Who art thou?

'Tis a honor! I am Bishop, leader of the human resistance on this world. I regret I do not meet under more auspicious circumstances.

Thou hast heard of me?

Thy name is known and honored among those who battle the Guardian on the many planes of reality.

Are there then many who do so?

Although I have no means of traveling the planes myself, I have been in contact with many like myself, who champion their own realities against the incursions of the Red Titan.

How dost thou contact them?

There is a certain symmetry among the many realities. Communication is easier among planes or places or even buildings that resemble one other, in their geographies or inhabitants or destinies.

Whom dost thou speak to on these other planes?

For their sake, I fear to speak their names in this place. For the moment, I shall say only that thou shouldst look for a sorcerous lady in a fortress high above a desert. I cannot say more, for time is short, and I fear the Guardian has ears in this prison.

Indeed, I must be gone from here. Once free of this field, I shall be able to rejoin my troops by mystic means.

I shall give thee a pair of gauntlets, which will allow thee to move through the field.

Thank thee, but art thou sure thou hast another pair? If not, thou wouldst be trapped forever.

I have a spare pair.

A word, Avatar! 19 days ago, a strange black jewel, the size of my thumb, appeared here. Not long after, 6 guards (for so do they fear me) appeared and demanded it of me. I sensed the Guardian's sorcery in it, though I know not what part it plays in his designs. Thou shouldst seek it here, it may be of use to thee. Quickly now, we must hurry!

So I've been playing for about 19 days already?

I shall not forget this.

*He strides out through the field, and vanishes.*

I wish I can teleport like that. This blackrock gem, maybe the Guard-Captain Borne has it.

I return to Borne:

Back so soon! Hast thou had any success with Bishop?

Hast thou found a black jewel in the tower?

A mysterious letter arrived from the capital, saying I should expect a gem to appear in, of all places, Bishop's cell. And there it was! I am a soldier, and a good one, and I like to stay clear of sorcerous doings! Know ye aught of the matter?

Aye, I am well versed in the arts arcane. May I have it?

I am more than glad to give it up, Lorca. I wish only to be left out of the Guardian's magical conflicts! I thank thee, and good luck in thy work.

That was easy, I should take the gem to Nystul back in the castle for examination.

Maybe I can try getting more keys.

Hast thou keys to any of the other cells?

They are not here -- Janar (the kitchen guard) has them. but why dost thou want to open the other cells?

'Tis an order from the Guardian -- do not question it!

(Valor) Thou'rt right, of course. Go ask Janar for them, and give him the codeword, "beacon."

With the password I got the cell keys from Janar in the kitchen and since I'm on the same floor, decided to speak to Felix again.

Hast thou succeeded in killing Freemis?

(Honesty) Aye.

Thou lies! He has just this minute left the room! I cannot believe thou wouldst deceive a fellow human for profit.

*His knuckles whiten on a carving knife, and he glares at you with barely-contained rage.*

We may both serve the goblins now, but it is you alone who are a traitor. Pray we do not meet sometime when thou art less well-armored.

So... let's restore game and pretend this conversation never happened.

With the prison keys, I unlocked the cell on the seventh floor with the goblin prisoner:

*A older goblin male looks up at you with relief.*

At last, thou art here. I thought I had been forgotten.

Who art thou?

It depends. Art thou my rescuer?

Aye, if thou art a foe of the Guardian.

Say no more of whom thou art - 'tis best that I know not, in case I am captured. I, however, may speak freely. I am Milenus, and once I was the Regent's most trusted advisor in military affairs. however, I was also the most valuable spy the Resistance had.

How can you betray your own people?

My people had long since betrayed themselves! Ever since our shamans learned of the realities beyond our own, and began to deal with the Red Titan, we have been losing our sovereignty. He has empowered us to conquer this world, but we now rule it in his name, not our own.

So thou didst side with the humans in this war?

If the humans do not triumph here, we shall all fall under the rule of the Guardian. I have no great love for Bishop and his fighters, but I believe they can be made to see reason, and allow our races to coexist freely.

Opposing the Guardian is worth any risk, any price.

'Tis easy for thee to say! When you fight the Guardian, THOU art a hero to thy people. My reward is the contempt of both goblins and humans.

It seems I must be going. I wish thee well, whoever thou art.

Wait! It may be dangerous out there!

I worked as a spy for ten years. Thinkest thou I learned nothing?

*He steps into the corridor, then quickly darts out of sight.*

There is still the locked door on the Guard-Captain's level, the one with the plaque that reads: Danger -- Do not enter without armed escort.

One of the prison keys unlocks it:

They have a great troll.

I am Helicopter.

Yeah? Who Helicopter? Feeder? Killer? Who?

I am a friend.

Me not know you! How you friend?

Look, we both hate the Guardian, right? That makes us friends, in a way.

*For the first time, the troll shows a flicker of interest.*

You get me out?

You're free to go!

Me thank thee. Time to smash some gobbies!

Wait! Can't you just take them prisoner?

Pri-son-er? Gobs no make good pets -- Garg try this be-fore!

*Garg ducks out through the door of his cell. You hear loud cries, and the sound of armored goblins hitting the floor.*

Garg can then be found in the ex-Guard-Captain's quarters. Hmm why do people always turn their back on me.

Hey friend! You like new house?

THIS is your new house?

When you go, me say, "Hallo gobbies! You in my house, and now is time for cleaning in spring!" Soon no gobbies no more. 'Cept for shiny bit at top, where me no can go.

Is it not dangerous here? More goblins might come.

No worry -- if too many gobs, me just lock door.

If thou dost need help, try looking in the basement.

Good idea. Me bored, think I left some gobbies there. You come back, visit, ok?

I will.

Garg look forward . . . er, if he remember!

This walking carpet can train the Avatar in barehand combat.

But before I go...

Don't forget to feed the troll.

Looks like Garg cleared the entire tower of goblins, all their loot and bones are strewn about. Strange, the goblins drop leather armour when they clearly look like they are wearing metal.

*Superior look*

Btw does this count as totally avoiding combat if someone else does the killing?

Thankfully Garg left the humans alive. I got the cornucopia as a reward, actually it's just a box with charges of the create food spell.

I'm back on the first floor of the tower. Locked doors can't save the goblins from Garg, he just bash through them.
With the tower secured, it's time to loot! There are two more fraznium gauntlets to be found, part of the "multiple solutions."
Has someone stop counting?

I found a note in the armoury.
REL, SANCT and YLEM? They mean CHANGE, PROTECTION, MATTER. I use these runes and cast the mending spell. Casting this spell on any weapon, armour, light source, food or door brings it to top condition.
And who is this M.G.?

With the tower empty, except for Garg, it will serve as a convenient base for the player. I convert the first floor into my quarters and the basement into my treasury and celebrate by drinking myself silly.
You can really let yourself go and LARP that it is your Wizard Tower and Garg as your furry companion.

Time to return to the portal and report back to the castle.

----------------------------------------

What? That's it? I thought she was going to kill some goblins. This is all just talking and talking and talking. I'm as bored as a pacifist pistol. Where's the action?

There are multiple solutions remember? The Avatar took the diplomacy path.

Oh, I say, that's very clever. But I would dearly love to see some sword-to-sword action.

Oh I'm sure the Avatar will find some things to kill in the next world.

----------------------------------------

Back to the castle courtyard, the fountain has dried up too, plants are dying. Decline. Better report to Miranda about my adventures.

Avatar! Good, I have been expecting thee.

*You recount for Miranda your latest experiences, and she records them carefully, to distribute to other members of the castle.*

What is the current situation in the castle?

The castle has been quiet recently, save for the servants, who have become increasingly rude and irritable.

'Tis a difficult time for all of us!

Indeed, and yet it behooves all of us to work together, and not complain over trivialities, as Nanna has been doing! Oh And if thou hast not already done so, thou shouldst take that gem thou didst find to Nystul -- 'tis an intriguing artifact, and I am sure he would be fascinated to take a look at it.

Time to sort things out with Nanna.

Avatar, I must speak to thee at once!

What may I do for thee, Nanna?

I find it insulting that we 'servants' are treated with so little respect. Lord British has become accustomed to ordering us about like animals!

Oh, stop thy complaining.

Thou might be surprised, Avatar, at how quickly things here would degenerate without the castle 'servants.' Given what we do, we deserve social equality!

What exactly dost thou want, then?

First off, we should not be called 'servants.' 'Tis a demeaning term, and overused here in the castle. We should be given the title of 'Domestic Management.'

Surely thou art kidding!

And why should I be kidding? Aren't we all 'servants,' in truth? Lord British himself hath taken an oath to serve the people of Britannia -- should we not call him a 'servant,' then? The word implies that we are not entitled to basic human dignity! It should be discarded.

That seemeth a bit silly, Nanna.

'Tis not silly, and 'tis not all. More importantly, we desire a voice in the decisions that affect life here in the castle. We toil here every day, working just as hard as the nobles, if not harder. And yet we are never consulted on issues of day-to-day management. 'Tis like we are but children here!

'Tis not possible for everyone to have a say in everything.

Is it not? In an environment such as this, methinks it is not just possible, but a moral imperative!

Avatar, wouldst thou take our grievances to Lord British? Thou art one of his most trusted friends, and he wouldst take thee seriously. We only ask for a leveling of the unfair class structure that is so exemplified by life in the castle. Wilt thou do it?

1. I am afraid I must refuse. Thou art asking too much.
2. I sympathize with thee, but I think thou hast chosen a bad time to approach Lord British.
3. I would be happy to talk with him on thy behalf.

The last option is of course the best option.

I am afraid I must refuse. Thou art asking too much.

*Nanna draws a deep breath.*

We shall soon see what is too much! As of this moment, I declare the Domestic Management of Castle British to be on strike!

Frankly my dear I don't give a damn.
Errr.. but then again maybe I should talk to Lord British about this.

I ran into Nystul on the way to the throne room, oh yes the gem.

Certainly.

Aha! Thou hast it!

*Nystul examines the jewel closely. He holds it in his left hand, closes his eyes, and mutters several strange words. He hands the gem back to you, now slightly warm to the touch.*

Thou shouldst bring this down to the larger gem in the sewers, and experiment. There might be some... interesting effects.

What kind of effects?

The Guardian's spell placed this jewel on a plane under his sorcerous dominion -- returning it to its source in Britannia may help upset his spell -- throw the balance of his designs into disorder. Go, then and try it.

Yeah yeah, use gem on large gem.

Ah! It's Lord I-went-to-a-trip-in-space-British.

Avatar, something strange is going on. Just now, I ask Nanna to bring me some ale, and she stalked off without a word!

Nanna has declared the servants on strike sir!

Nanna... was she not one a member of the Guardian's Fellowship? (play Ultima 7)

Yes, thou hast it! She has thrown in her lot with the Guardian.

Perhaps so, but I was certain Nanna could be trusted. Perhaps she is in fact sincere. I must think on this.

Not my problem.

Most of the trapped castle occupants have new things to say. Here is a sample:

Mayor Patterson:

I had quite a scare this morning, as Iolo may have told thee!

What had Iolo to do with this?

Why, he played the part of my rescuer! A spider had me cornered in the basement, a real brute the size of a dog! Iolo found me and drove it off, thank the serpent.

What wert thou doing in the basement?

I was hoping to find some wine or ale, to calm down Dupre -- he has been so nervous lately.

Lady Tory:

I tried to talk with Patterson again, but 'twas useless. Why he even made a pass at me!

Art thou joking?

No,'tis no jest! 'Tis a shame I had no interest in responding, but I hope I was kind to him. I still can detect no specific emotions in the man. His mind is a tangle of confusion. He seems to have taken a liking to thee, Helicopter -- perhaps thou can help him.

I wish the man would just leave me alone!

This sound familiar, let me try to remember.

*****Star Trek: TNG "Nth Degree"*****

Has Mr Barclay done any thing that could be considered potentially threatening?

Well, he did make a pass at me last night.

A good one.

*************************************

Looks like the writer really likes Star Trek, I do recall some other familiar phrases as well.

Nell the servant, recently promoted to Domestic Management:

Hello, Helicopter. I must warn thee that the Domestic Management is still on strike!

Could this not have waited for a better time?

If time is important, then Lord British should grant us our requests without delay! All we ask for is fairness.

Thou art truly serious about this, art thou not?

We are very serious, Avatar. The unfair class division in the castle has for too long been taken for granted. If we succeed here in changing the attitude of the nobility toward the working class, perhaps others elsewhere will take notice. Like Nanna says, this new way of thinking is a spectre haunting Britannia!

A spectre? Where? I shall slay it!

That sounds like something I would say!

'Tis a metaphor, Avatar. Helicopter, I come from a long line of 'servants,' I have always been happy having taken up my family's profession, but in this past year I have come to realize that we are not treated with nearly the respect we dost deserve. I have listened often to Nanna, and I agree with her views. We have no choice but to strike.

The servants are revolting!
But remember Nystul's locked chest in the library? The 5th level spell open cannot be cast in the castle due to the blackrock, but I can cast it in the goblin Prison Tower, keep it as the cursor and then release it in the castle.

It's out of print on Earth. Let's go see what Nystul has to say about it.

That was fast, been reading a little too much? Wait isn't Nystul the only one who can train me in magic skills? Best to see Lord British again and beat the mutineers back in line.

So, Avatar, hast thou come to any new conclusions about our class problems?

(Force persuade) I think the servants should be beaten!

Avatar, I am most disappointed -- thou showest thyself a fool! One cannot govern people as if one were driving oxen! I must have time, Avatar, to think on the past, and the way of life I have established in Britannia, and whether or not I have been just in my actions. If thou dost need me, I shall be here in my quarters.

Noes! I have not foreseen this consequence of the servants strike, looks like I will have to do with my current magic abilities.

Upon returning to the large blackrock gem, I notice that two new facets are open for entry. I use the treated gem from the Prison Tower on the large blackrock gem, the facet leading to the Prison Tower glows even brighter.
I now have the choice of 2 worlds to visit.

I hope the next one's a dungeon crawl, all this talking is making me sleepy.

There are eight facets leading to eight worlds. Three of them involve a lot of talking.

So we are left with two talky-talky ones? Does anybody actually enjoy playing them?


Current stats:
Level 9
Offensive spells:
Level 1 - Magic arrow
Level 3 - Bleeding

 

[Brother None]

Megakamehameha update! I love it!

Better a slave of a slave than a... git!

Hah, you really love your Blackadder, wot wot?

...?

The servants are revolting!

No kidding. What a dog!

 

[someone else]

...?

I believe manga uses lines to show anger. Think of it as the zoom in and out effect in :nerdrage:.

Anyway 5000+ words in the previous update, I'm going to summarise less important conversations in the next update.

 

[toroid]

Nice work! I really enjoyed hearing the Prison Tower music play in the background while reading. I definitely approve of you providing links to the in-game music.

 

[KickAss]

im really enjoing this...

 

[someone else]

Pushing this thread to page 3.

I updated the previous updates with illustrations from the hint book: Gems of Enlightenment.
Here they are for those who want to see them:

Britannia:

Lord British on his throne.

Fissif.

Prison Tower:

Goblin armourer.

Bishop.

Passing through the forcefields with frazinum gauntlets.

 

[someone else]

Pushing this thread to page 3 with nonsense using pics on the same page.

Garg bored. Garg know, Garg watch TeeVee.

***

What do these men have in common? That's right, male pattern baldness.

Don't want to end up like Patrick Stewart? Seek advice from Morgan's Wholesome Hair Health Clinic Ltd now.

Garg like bald men, Garg no like hair advertisements!

 

[someone else]

Pushing this thread to page 3 with nonsense.

Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?

Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?

Did you or any member of your family ever seen a ghost,

headless,

or skeleton?

If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals: Morgan's Undead Smiters.

Our courteous and efficient staff is on call twenty-four hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.

We're ready to believe you.

Pffft. Garg don't believe in ghosts.

 

[someone else]

Pushing this thread to page 3 with nonsense.

Tired of thieves stealing your treasures?

Sick of locks that cannot even stop untrained lockpickers?

Or having problems with angry trolls?

Fret not!

Install the latest in modern technology! Guardian Forcefields from Morgan Securities Ltd.

Guardian Forcefields were chosen for their ability to meet the demanding criteria of the discerning dungeon keeper set by high traffic of avaricious adventurers and unscrupulous thieves. These impenetrable bars, forged by the Red Titan himself is a must-have for every villain who values his treasury.

Garg need learn anger management instead.

 

[someone else]

Pushing this thread to page 3 with nonsense.

You know, nothing is more important than education, because nowhere are our stakes higher.

Interested in a career in showbiz? Want to impress your LARPing friends? Are your inadequacies with the local tongue keeping you away from success?

Enrol in Morgan's School of Teaching Ultima English as a Second Language Ltd today.

You can go from:

RUUUUUUN! GOOOO! GET TO DA CHOPPAH!!!

To:

FLEEEEE!!! GET THEE AWAY TO DA CHOPPAH!!!

Don't embarrass yourself by not knowing the difference between doth, hath, dost, and durst.

Plus, basic runic alphabet lessons absolutely free!

If it's hard to remember, it'll be difficult to forget.

Garg no want to learn Ultima english.


Running out of ideas now.