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Inactive [LP CYOA] Overlord

Discussion in 'Choose Your Own Adventure Land' started by treave, Jul 20, 2015.

  1. Kipeci Magister

    Kipeci
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    AA.

    The flopping will surely provide an intimidation bonus to the diplomatic option; plus, there's a chance that they might have persons at the camp that we *don't* want to transform into a smear of ions.
     
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  2. archaen Arbiter Patron

    archaen
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    About what I thought would happen if we screwed around on the walls. Bandits gone and possibly most our slimes. If we took out their camp it would have been a full rout on the walls anyway and we could have played negotiater with the survivors. Now we want to fly naked into their main camp, who are still a coherent force, when we could barely handle two heroes by ourself before being sent to idiot purgatory where we missed all the powerups needed to let us walk back into a fully organized hostile force by our lonesome.

    AB
     
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  3. Lambchop19 Arcane Zionist Agent Literally Hitler Batshit Crazy

    Lambchop19
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    Remember, these are the guys that have tricky group casting that enables them to cast higher level spells like antimagic that renders us unable to cast...

    Let's not underestimate these guys...

    Our previous efforts at diplomacy while in angel form have yielded...discouraging results, still it would appear to be the most interesting option...

    I'm going to go with BB for now though...

    They need to learn not to cross us - and the best way to teach them is by turning them into a heap of smoking ashes...

    BB>AA
     
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  4. ScubaV Prophet

    ScubaV
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  5. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
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    Actually, those were the Barzamite fanatics. These are Methuss heroes, which we don't know if they have that. Nevertheless, group casting requires a lengthy ritual, so it won't be an issue anyway.

    I'm not sure which 2 heroes are you referencing. If you mean those from the heroes' camp from that ill-fated expedition with the teleportation mishap, Erd had trouble only because he was holding back. If you're referring to those we met upon waking up, they weren't a threat at all. Erd was trapped in that glyph bubble because he couldn't be bothered to break it.
     
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  6. Zwist Learned

    Zwist
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    The only problem with Gigadyne is, that everyone for miles is going to see it. So, we are basically telling everyone that we are back.
    And that anything of worth is going to go with the camp as well. Information and stuff.
    Luckily we got that covered with the adventuresses.
    Still the most sane and hassle free option. And honestly, who cares about us announcing our presence?

    AA is foolhardy, risky and downright stupid. But if we don't die, it is going to build our legend.
    That being said. The entire "I don’t know how they managed to come so far into our territory without us noticing" tells me that there is more.
    Probably a certain mage and his companion-stick.
    So: Floppy wiener meets rigid staff.
    Also: Why the hell wouldn't they at least bring heroes of the same calibre as last time? We didn't even conquer anything.
    Still. I want to read this.

    C would just create more work down the road. nope.


    Fuck it: AA

    ps:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObPm8nox2Yk
     
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  7. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
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    Since Rin was taken out by the cloakies, perhaps they assumed they would have enough with D-tier heroes. That being said, I agree that vaporizing everything won't give us much loot. I believe I'll swap to A>B A then, although 2B is winning so far.
     
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  8. Kipeci Magister

    Kipeci
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    Let's just hope that they haven't taken anyone too terribly irreplaceable as a hostage...
     
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  9. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
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    Only Zayan is irreplaceable. Unless they already got to her we can enjoy ourselves a naked gigadyne.
     
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  10. Tigranes Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Tigranes
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    When's the last time Erd has been able to negotiate anything with a hostile force attacking him? I have no idea why we decided on the intervention that has the least immediate outcome on the battlefield, but let's get this over with and then figure out where Rin is and which of our allies survived while we fucked around.

    AB
     
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  11. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
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    I find it amusing that one thing everyone agrees on is to go around without clothes just because we can. Meanwhile, diplomacy wins over LIGHTNING BOLTS! for one vote of difference.
     
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  12. Kz3r0 Arcane

    Kz3r0
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    The only reason I want to try diplomacy is because I think that Aria and Arlin are there.
     
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  13. wjw Augur

    wjw
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    Ecological AA vote.
     
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  14. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
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    Why would the twins be here? Aria is still lost somewhere within the Twilight Zone, while Arlin left once he realized Rin is all brawn and no brains. Speaking of which, at least it seems she no longer calls herself "Supreme Mistress of Darkness", just the latter three words. Perhaps she realized her limitations and that she's not as mighty as she beleived.
     
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  15. Kz3r0 Arcane

    Kz3r0
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    The fact that Methussians came straight here after months of not having a clue of where the castle was, they get that information from someone, maybe Arlin because they have Aria as hostage.
     
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  16. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
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    Let's hope that's not the case then. I don't trust myself much (nor the Codex) with hostage situations.
     
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  17. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    Codex 2012
    Final tally:

    A - FLOPPING ANGEL COCK/10
    B - 1

    A - 8
    B - 8
    C - 0

    ***

    Post-flop:

    A - FLOPPING ANGEL COCK/10
    B - 0

    A - 9
    B - 7
    C - 0
     
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  18. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
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    Incoming naked diplomacy (while covered in blood and guts)!
     
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  19. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
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    I'm going to go ahead and quote Azira by saying: dun dun duu.
     
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  20. Zwist Learned

    Zwist
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    Or one of the twins could be leading the assault, instead of being hostages. Just because.
    Or a certain girl we got killed while being on a "date". More likely, and considering our attire equally amusing.

    Anyway: walking butt naked into an enemy camp, hell yeahh.
     
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  21. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    Codex 2012
    Marquis of the Kingdom

    To your surprise, you are not attacked when you approach the camp. Not a single arrow or spell comes your way. Floating in the sky high above their crowded tents, you watch as the crowd of knights and mages part way for a single man. He is dressed in the drab outfit of a common soldier, unlike the gilded and golden armours of the noble knights and the wildly coloured robes of the mages. His long hair is tied back neatly in a ponytail, revealing his sharp and cunning features.

    That face is familiar. You had seen him once before, briefly, at the capital. If your memory still serves you right… Marquis Ondore Hastwell. Judging from the situation and what you have heard of his reputation, he is likely the mastermind of this particular campaign. The marquis reaches the front of the crowd and looks up at you, his lips parting slightly at the sight of your nakedness. That is the only sign of surprise that he allows to slip part his guard, as he calmly addresses you immediately after.

    “I am Marquis Ondore Hastwell, commander of these forces. Might you be the one that rules this fortress? I have heard that the Dark Lord was a woman, but you are… evidently not one.”

    “Evidently so,” you grin, looking down on him. “I do not rule this fortress… but why, did things not go to plan?”

    The Marquis sighs. “Things rarely do. But yes, I must admit that the appearance of an angel on the side of the enemy complicates matters.” He tries to peer at your face, but the bright glare of the halo over your head forces him to squint, unable to make out your features.

    “Lord Marquis, we can just blow this bastard-“

    He motions at the knight who had spoken out with a forceful gesture of his fist. “Stand down, Joven,” orders Hastwell. “This is not a situation you can fight your way out of, and we are ill-equipped to slay an angel. I made a mistake.”

    “Shouldn’t have come here in the first place, then!” you say jovially. “Now, why did you come here in the first place? If you indulge me in some questions I just might be willing to give you a chance.”

    “I have little first-hand experience with angels, but from what I have read, they do not seem to be renowned for being sparkling conversationalists,” replies Hastwell. “Are the stories mistaken or are you just different?” When he gets nothing but your patient smile in return, he sighs, and continues, “Very well, I will answer your question. I came here upon orders of the king to take the enemy’s stronghold.”

    “And how did you get here?”

    “We aren’t obliged to answer that!” shouts Joven fearlessly. “What is this, an interrogation?”

    “It’s just a friendly discussion,” you smile. “But an interrogation is fine too.” You raise your hand. A mild tingle runs through the air, a spark carried by the wind that has begun to blow. The mages are the first to react and back away, cowed by the beginnings of the spell that is assembling in your hand.

    “Joven,” snaps Hastwell, “one more word out of line from you and I will have you whipped! Go calm your head somewhere in your tent!” Turning back to you, he apologizes. “I am sorry. My subordinate’s hot temper has its uses in battle, but in diplomacy he is yet lacking. As for your question, I am familiar with the paths of the forest and the lay of the land, and understand the logistics of transporting large numbers of men. My enemy’s forces have numbers but that is all they have, and they lack the training and ability to maintain their borders effectively.” Hastwell explains all this to you without missing a beat, and without attempting to look at you again. It is nothing you hadn’t really expected, but to hear the flaws of your side from the enemy’s commander still feels a bit embarrassing.

    “Are you sure you should be telling me your strategy?” you ask. “Some might consider it treason.”

    “Knowing the other’s strategy is just the first step on the board. A strategist must pride himself in being able to think ten steps ahead,” he says.

    “You mean to say that you think you can win, even if you tell me everything you have planned?”

    “Strategy can only take you so far in the face of overwhelming power. I will not win, not today. I did not plan for the sudden appearance of a powerful foe able to devastate my troops all by himself.”

    You laugh, shaking your head. “That is a lie, Marquis. You came expecting to face the lord of this fortress, didn’t you?”

    “The only reason this expedition was launched in the first place was that I heard that the Dark Lord was absent, but you are correct,” he admits after a long pause. “I arrived with several hero candidates who infiltrated the castle. They would have been my trump card, but seeing as you are here and they are not… well, that does not leave me with any options, does it?” Sighing, he continues, “As I have said, overwhelming power has an uncanny tendency to blunt the finest strategy. And so here we are.”

    “Here we are,” you agree, nodding. “The question is, where do we go from here?”

    “I would very much like it if you could spare my men and let us return, and in exchange we would promise not to fight against you in the future… but that is a child’s dream.”

    You are the strategist, Lord Marquis. What would you do?” you ask. “Assume that you have a clever general of the opposing side at your mercy, and must now decide what to do with him for the sake of your kingdom and your people.”

    A pause. Another sigh, and then the surprisingly honest answer. “A simple decision. Execute the man. If I have managed to outmaneuver him, there is little he can offer to my side in the first place. A man who will turn his colours once will turn again. There is no trusting a traitor, and trusting a clever one is a particular folly reserved only for those with the greatest, undeserved opinion of their own intellect. Of course, there are exceptions, ways in which to use a potential traitor to your own benefit, methods of sowing misinformation… but execution is the simplest and safest decision of all.”

    You ponder his words.

    “Is that all?” asks Hastwell, a cold smile on his face. There it is, the look of someone who accepts death, though strangely in his eyes what you see is not resignation, but grim determination. You understand that once you decide to kill him, he will fight to the death, and his men along with him. They might not stand a good chance but they will nonetheless try.

    ***

    A. “That is all. You may leave.” Having expended enough energy for today, you let them go, though not before giving them a message to bring to their king, warning that any further encroachments will result in painful reprisals and suggesting a proper summit to discuss the future of their kingdom. You are not Rin, and now that you are taking over, perhaps you might be able to win peace through words. It is time to think of a different future for Grahferde. And of course if words fail you can just kill their king at the summit.

    B. “Oh, of course. It’s over and you may leave.” You let them go… well, you let them think you are letting them go anyway. There is no point in engaging in a fight immediately when you can just let them go off a safe distance and then mop them up with your spells. You said that they could leave, you didn’t promise that they’d leave alive.

    C. “Wait. Hold on a second. Sorry, call of nature.” Shrugging your shoulders, you piss on them. Then you dive in to attack. You can’t exactly loot their camp if you blow it up with your spells now, can you?

    D. “Oh, no, I am not done with you, Marquis. Wait, why are there no women on your staff?” You follow the time-honored tradition of taking the enemy leader and his subordinates hostage. Being the husband of the kingdom’s eldest Princess, he should fetch a handsome ransom, along with all the other nobles. Besides, you have a job vacancy for a general in your forces as the goblins have proved singularly unable to rise to the task. Surely there’ll be some ambitious chap in here willing to play ball with you for the low low price of their free will and dignity.
     
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  22. Grimgravy Augur Patron

    Grimgravy
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    Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire
  23. Zwist Learned

    Zwist
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    Hmm, I am all for discussing a future agreement. but why the hell shouldn't we have a bargaining chip?
    D. With the addendum that we don't really need the money, but will release the hostages as a sign of good will, should we come to an agreement (except for the heroines still alive of course).
    They expect a monster, lets not be that. But letting him go? Na, not before he is honour bound not to fuck our shit up. As he just told us he will.
     
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  24. Kipeci Magister

    Kipeci
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    B > C

    The point of diplomacy was to ensure that they didn't have Zayan or someone else we care about as a captive. This is evidently not the case, so let's nuke 'em and call it a day. Hastwell is skilled enough by all accounts in fighting that I'd not chance it in personal combat.

    We can develop our own, more loyal loyal officers later. Traitors can be used for a short-term advantage at times, but we shouldn't rely on these guys for anything as they only would have reasons to hate and fear us. As for keeping them as hostages, for the ones of value here a prison might as well be a cardboard box.
     
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