Review Mass Effect gets the Andyman Messiah Treatment

[Andyman Messiah]

It wasn't posted as official codex content. DarkUnderlord said something about "too many fucking reviews already" and I agree.

 

[racofer]

Dump the others and post yours (if it's similar to this one).

 

[MetalCraze]

Dump Chefe's review. It symbolizes the low standards of the Codex.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Chefe's review is fine as it's essentially an even greater, more elaborate troll post than my F3-review ever could be.

 

[elander_]

Baldurs Gate 2 is still the top game to which all Bioware games should be compared. I'm playing that game for the third time now, just to play with an evil team and see their reactions. I don't think i could do it a fourth time however. Mass Effect, it was entertaining but i wouldn't keep a copy for my game collection. I agree with the horse man that combat is stimulation on a light way. I find Mass Effect combat superior to Fallout 3 which is not saying much.

 

[roshan]

It wasn't posted as official codex content. DarkUnderlord said something about "too many fucking reviews already" and I agree.

Wheres your review? I want to read it. "Sextra terrestrial" was hilarious.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

It wasn't posted as official codex content. DarkUnderlord said something about "too many fucking reviews already" and I agree.

Wheres your review? I want to read it. "Sextra terrestrial" was hilarious.

It's on the first page in this thread. "This game sucks." That's the review. So if you want more I'm going to have to write it first. More importantly, I'm going to have to ask myself: "Do I want to spend even more time with shitty games just so I can pretend I'm a bad George Carlin or Lewis Black impersonator?" The answer is maybe. :wink:

 

[inwoker]

Why no pics? Pics of alien sex is essential in any Mass Effect review.

 

[Wyrmlord]

Seriously, Andyman, you, a European with English as a second language, have shown the absolute mastery of wit and humour in the English language like no other.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Why no pics? Pics of alien sex is essential in any Mass Effect review.

I should have taken screenshots, but I'm so dumb I totally forgot about it. And I didn't have access to my monster mash effect computer when the whole concept of screenfuckshots hit me (aka The Management asked me). So DU encouraged me to draw a little something in Ms Paint. I did one picture before I got bored.

Seriously, Andyman, you, a European with English as a second language, have shown the absolute mastery of wit and humour in the English language like no other.

Wow. Thank you, Wyrmlord.

I might do more of these if I ever get bored of writing about old french poets and Final Fantasy 7.

 

[Lonely Vazdru]

Very funny and well written acidic review. Way better than most of your (recent) brainless spam on the forums. Kudos.

I'm sure that's really good design for someone who lives out in the middle of nowhere and talks to a moose all day long and is completely fucking insane

This over-cheap shot at Canadians was my favourite part.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Very funny and well written acidic review. Way better than most of your (recent) brainless spam on the forums. Kudos.

I'm sure that's really good design for someone who lives out in the middle of nowhere and talks to a moose all day long and is completely fucking insane

This over-cheap shot at Canadians was my favourite part.

It was actually not meant as a shot at Canadians, but I suppose that's the way it turned out.

 

[hiver]

For the record. I took it as a comparison to any person who might be looking at the moose all day in the middle of nowhere.

I only wish that person had complimentary animation of :scratches head: ... :scratches ass: in a loop.

My favorite parts were those about the inventory and simmilar stuff and all that yelling at them.

I could just feel them reading it at the same time.
and thinking: "ahhh... umm... ahem... umm"

 

[Lonely Vazdru]

Seems like I misread. But Bioware being canadian and mooses being pretty unevenly distributed on this planet... factor in the middle of nowhere, and I really thought it was pointing at Canada.

Too much Southpark I guess.

 

[Smarts]

I get the feeling the lack of a stacked inventory system is down to something you don't mention - the weapon/armour upgrade system. An inventory-stacking system might be handy in the beginning, but midway through the game when you've set up a whole bunch of rifles that each do different things, a stacking system wouldn't really help.

How would you deal with that? Just remove the upgrade system? Or something else?

 

[Andyman Messiah]

A matter of opinion. Mass Effect's equipment is exactly like a jrpg; you find something better the more you play and so you toss the crap. Items scale to your level. Once I got my Spectre and Savant equipment I never needed anything else and so it was just a chore to get rid of all the crap. Meh.

edit: As for how I'd deal with it, I'd kick out at least 75 percent of all the items, introduce stacking and introduce the wonderful ability to choose multiple items to sell, drop and omnigel.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Seems like I misread. But Bioware being canadian and mooses being pretty unevenly distributed on this planet... factor in the middle of nowhere, and I really thought it was pointing at Canada.

Too much Southpark I guess.

I wouldn't say you misread. But you definitely hate canadians, you filthy canadiaphobe.

(sorry)

 

[Wyrmlord]

I think Andyman was referring to a rural inbred American redneck, who are known to have the worst tastes in anything, such as watching NASCAR and wrestling.