Simple overreaction and lies.
1. Character do attack whoever you click on while engaging multiple targets. Maybe you were "disabled" or it was some bug.
2. Combat is NOT random due to engagement. I only engage with fighters while flanking and maneuvering with everyone else - l2p.
3. Spells/Abilities: Daze, Knocking down foes, Stun all do their major part, also early on.
4. LOL at weapon strategy and tactics in BG. You want reliable weapon damage? Observe DR in combat log, switch to different dmg type OR use slower, but hard-hitting weapons.
You seem to encounter some buggy commands in combat, but to say that it's a general state of affairs is a lie. I never had problems with this.
Yep, pathfinding sometimes screws you up, learn and adapt. True BG experience, by the way. Happens rarely and mostly you see it coming. Enemies regenarating HP, do you play on hard?
1. Unfortunately I often experience situations where my characters switch targets during combat, and despite trying to command them to attack other enemies, they do not. Could be bugged AI?
2. Combat is very much random due to engagement and running because you can find your characters very randomly stuck in certain locations and be unable to do anything about it. I currently use my rogue and Edair on the front line, and usually use disablers like knockdown so the rogue can get in sneak attacks. But shit happens so quickly and randomly that sometimes I find my rogue and Edair separated from each other, sometimes enemies randomly weasel their way through choke points, sometimes the big baddie gets in front and engages, sometimes the lackeys are in front and engage. This works totally differently from the IE games, in the IE games, if a horde of monsters heads towards your party, you can be sure that the nearest monster will reach your party first, and the furthest will reach last. This let you make accurate, correct and clear decisions regarding how to position your characters, who to cast spells on, who to pelt with ranged weapons, and so on and so forth. In POE, sometimes I pelt the nearest enemy with ranged weapons only to find that for some weird ass reason, it ends up being the furthest from the party and meanwhile I am engaged in melee by enemies with full health, and the enemy I pelted is now safely regenerating behind others. It's a random, luck based process without any predictable logic or pattern.
3. Will admit that I still need to study the spells further (though I already make good use of the abilities when they actually fire off). I got discouraged from tinkering with spells after that retarded version of web. Assumed many of the other spells would also be borderline useless.
4. Combat log is a clusterfuck of engagement related messages. Things happen so fast that the messages pile up and become a serious mess to search through. I waste enough time looking through it trying to find out if I have succeeded with knockdown or critical strike, etc. What I meant regarding strategy and tactics was actually not weapon related. What I meant was that in Icewind Dale 2 for example, since the to hit system was based on a solid core logic (rolling a D20, adding your bonus, then subtracting the enemy's defenses....), you could easily predict whether your characters would hit or not. You could basically do the math in your head and it would be accurate. In PoE I do not know of any core logical element that governs whether I miss, graze, hit or crit. There's tons of large bloated numbers that have no meaning at all. In IWD2, +1 BAB meant something and was a significant advantage. Every little +1 had meaning and you knew how that translated into combat performance. Therefore, misses and hits were predictable. And therefore you always had an idea of how much damage you were doing. Since you knew that, you could then figure out tactics to complement that. Buff the fighters, debuff the enemies, use crowd control, attack with spells, etc. Since you had a system that was easily estimated and understood, you could then use it to your advantage.