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Baldur's Gate Review: Baldur's Gate 3

Be Kind Rewind

Educated
Zionist Agent
Joined
Mar 14, 2021
Messages
496
Location
Serbia
Preface

Due to BG3 being a flagship game of American kultur-terror or rather the American regime cult there are countless threads being filled with highly emotional takes on the game. At the mildest criticism Swen’s agents quickly spam up threads with their whinging that Hitler is being resurrected if the entirety of the Codex doesn’t worship BG3 as their new RPG god. There are also countless of degenerate coomers that will defend the game against the slightest hint of criticism because it lets them indulge in their gay bear sex fantasies, as well as a couple of culture warriors that supposedly play the game out of spite or the lunatics that will tell you to watch gay porn and just fast forward through the fudgepacking bits. This being the case none of these people playing the game can be trusted to give the game a fair and objective review. This is why I’m stepping up to the task, having no interest in playing this at all since it isn’t a game worth playing, to review the game with a level head and entirely without bias or suspect motives.

How we got here

Since most users here are either so old they have grown senile, like Crispy, and don’t remember anything, or are recent arrivals still wet behind the ears and don’t know anything about anything, an introduction to the genre is in order. When Crispy was facing his first rejection at his jewish high school prom shortly after the Napoleonic wars the wargame was perfected in Prussia. This was a very European pastime and strongly rooted in the supremacy of the Aryans since antiquity, but it was perfected by one Georg von Reisswitz who was granted royal patronage. Although I could go on at length about what shapes they took in the deeper past, and how they would later evolve and what impact they had, the reason I mention this in my Baldur’s Gate 3 review is that it is important to acknowledge that when an American got his hands on this sort of thing he perverted it into a fantasy simulation, which was then turned into something truly rotten when Ed Greenwood in turn started playing it and gave us what was to become the standard D&D setting in the shape of his own magical realm. Although there was merit to the Gygaxian dungeon crawl that was only taken from its rough form and shaped into something truly worthwhile with the video game “blobber” the cringefest that is BG3 was there also, from the very beginning. RPGs were always decline.

We must also take into account what sort of loser was playing D&D, because as the game grew in popularity and the publishing jew got whiff of it, they started churning out an equivalent of DLCs for the game. Like Magic the Gathering took advantage of retarded children and teens who didn’t understand that 52 cards were adequate for just about any game of cards you might fancy, D&D wasn’t a game you bought, it was sold across a multitude of volumes and due to being so complex in the first place due to needing to peddle all these books also started selling canned adventures and pre-made dungeons and encounters. Wargamers would play their games with a single rulebook, with cheap and readable tokens easily put out onto a hexagonal map, leaving their shelves with ample room for history books and the like. The snot nosed D&D geek on the other hand would have his bookshelves stuffed to the brim with useless books on trivial Forgotten Realms lore, buy expensive miniatures, and get scammed endlessly. All this to simulate the most banal of fantasy stories set in the perverted sex fantasy of some neckbeard.

A brief overview of CRPG history

When tabletop roleplaying was adapted to computers we can roughly divide up the results into two camps, the licence holders and those games that were only inspired by tabletop. The latter gave us the best the CRPG genre has to offer, titles such as Might & Magic, Wizardry, The Dark Heart of Uukrul and other great games, as well as some of the worst the genre has to offer but we will come to that later. The former on the other hand has been a long line of mediocrities. We can safely skip the 1982 Intellivision title, because the cultural significance starts here with Pool of Radiance released in 1988 by SSI. Although SSI was a company that put out highly sophisticated wargames, true to their name, and the odd decent RPG title like Questron, their line of “Goldbox” games were a series of shovelware titles. They churned out fourteen of them starting with PoR before the public got tired of being served such slop but the damage to the genre had been done and this would shape further D&D adaptations. While SSI was busy milking the TSR cow the other harbinger of CRPG decline saw a rise to prominence, Richard Garriot. Slowly and surely over the years he had been putting together a proto-Skyrim with each Ultima iteration and it culminated with Ultima VII, a game that gave CRPGs cancer. No longer about turn-based combat or dungeon crawling, it now was a story-based world-simulation, and instead of having gameplay most of the games were spent listening to NPCs blathering on or baking bread and nonsense like that. The combat was more or less fully automated and a very small part of the Ultima VII games. These two CRPG strands are important to keep in mind because Baldur’s Gate 3 is the union of these two branches.

Bioware Era

Bioware had been putting together a real-time strategy game (RTS) when they found a publisher in Interplay, a very Jewish company ran by Brian Fargo, of the Fargo banking clan. Since they were in possession of the D&D licence they suggested to turn their RTS into an RPG and because the Bioware founders knew the importance of brand recognition they accepted. The Baldur’s Gate series was one of the first AAA RPG titles, featuring the open world of Ultima, but with pre-rendered large backgrounds. Whereas the goldbox shovelware had been cheaply churned out by the numbers but directed at an audience of nerds familiar with the ruleset, Bioware were making a dumbed down series to sell the game to a much larger audience. It’s important to see the parallels with BG3 in this first CRPG blockbuster, although the 150GB size of the new game might seem insane the first Baldur’s Gate came on a whopping five CDs like an FMV game would. Like in Ultima the combat was mostly automated, with the player pausing seeing the characters whack at one another like in an RTS to cast a spell or two. One might think of it as the CRPG equivalent to a Marvel flick and it was competing against the mindless clicker Diablo. The game was a massive success in sales and was an introduction for many to RPGs, prompting Bioware to develop a sequel that was even worse. Going from a bad RTS approximation to one with a visual novel tacked on to it. On a historical note Baldur’s Gate 2 had pre-order DLC in the way of a “bonus CD” with exclusive particularly fancy items long before Zionmax would peddle horse armors in Oblivion. As if Bioware hadn’t done enough damage to the genre with their cinematic approach, character drama, “quirky” party members and terrible implementation of an already bad ruleset they now introduced the world to “romances” with BG2. This is what would bridge the genre from the wargaming roots to fujoshit.

Bioware would continue to hit the same buttons proven successful with subsequent games, watering down the RPG elements that were barely there in the first place, making the games dumber and more accessible to the drooling masses, increasing the cinematic presentation. The games developed as they were being digested by EA could be seen as the ultimate logical conclusion of what they started with Baldur’s Gate. Mass Effect being a third person cinematic shooter and dating sim pretending to be an RPG, or Dragon Age, a series written by women and homosexuals for women and homosexuals. Both aiming to be to their time what BG had been to the 90’s. Dragon Age had been developed specifically as a replacement for the Forgotten Realms licence and we got a taste of what was to come there, homosexuality being the focus of the games. Instead of having to worry about monster ambushes while resting you had to worry about being buggered, especially in Dragon Age 2 which replaced dialogue options with Tim Cain approved icons and a Mass Effect styled dialogue circle. Eventually they would meet the same fate as all other EA purchases and little remains of the studio after Dragon Age Inquisition and Mass Effect 3.

The Rise of Larian

A year after Throne of Bhaal was released Larian had their own answer to the Diablo games, they had crossbred it with Ultima VII and it was titled Divine Divinity. It was more story focused, featuring again an open world explorable from an awkward Ultima-like perspective but featuring aspects of Diablo such as the combat, loot and such. The game was also marred by terrible writing and “jokes”. Over the years as Bioware put out their big releases they would continue trying to build on this but in a directionless manner. As 3D third person games were on the rise and old school CRPGs were dead they turned Divinity 2 into one, the game doesn’t stand out much from other games of the period. You could mistake it for any other game made around the same time, one of the Fable games, Venetica, Gothic 3, Oblivion, Demon’s Souls, or any other generic fantasy game played as a hack and slash in third person. All of which are poor imitations of Dungeon Lords, the singular good game of the sub-genre. The only thing that stood out was the bad writing. They would after that try to capture the Bioware audience with Dragon Commander, a real-time strategy game with visual novel elements and “romances”. You could tell the RTS bits were low on the list of priorities because they were very poorly put together while Larian had spent almost all of the money on voice acting and the parts of the game where you could bone skeletons. Since the game only featured content appealing to straight male incels and not femcels the game flopped, that audience was already being served by Bioware at the time, it came out the same year as Mass Effect 3.

This leads us to the more recent past, which I will quickly deal with since I don’t think the Original Sin games have disappeared from memory yet. Being on the verge of bankruptcy Larian was fortunate enough to being desperate for cash during the early kickstarter goldrush. Returning to their roots they promised going back to making Ultima clones and people bit the hook. The Codex contributed to the kickstarter, being nostalgic for the early Richard Garriot casualization of RPGs. This time around however they dropped the Diablo bits, the Diablo clone market being long since oversaturated, so they went turn-based instead. They also threw in co-op in there as a central feature. The campaign and the subsequent release was a financial success, allowing them to polish the game further, release it for consoles and create an even bigger sequel. After Divinity: Original Sin II sold like hotcakes, awkwardly narrated sex scenes and Ultima simulationist derived elemental shenanigans apparently being very popular with mouthbreathers Larian got an offer to make BG3.

Baldur´s Gate 3

Like Bioware Larian keeps hitting on the buttons that have rewarded them with success so far and one doesn’t need to play BG3 to see what sort of game it is and who the intended audience is. Whereas Todd Howard has made the already dumbed down Ultima available as a pisspoor shooter for the lowest IQ niggers and mutts without any discerning taste whatsoever, the upcoming Starfield being a prime example of that, Swen Vincke aimed to hit the rest of the mass market segments not covered by Bethesda. One of the largest audiences left homeless after the fall of Bioware has been the storyfags, particularly those without a sexlife and most unappealing to whatever gender they fancy. The ones that would analyse Tali’s sweat, the ones that would make horrible fanart of their gay romance interests, the Bioware social posters with fifteen different fetish banners in their profile. These are adjacent to the sort of “people” that watch Critical Role, roleplaying turned into maximum faggotry. It also comes bearing the teachings of the American state cult, which is one reason why so many gaming journalists are fawning over the game, and why the shills Swen sent to the Codex have a particularly colored tint to their posts. There is always the slant of challenging the game at all is also challenging Jewish supremacy, that not liking the game is an infraction against their nigger worship religion. This however has driven some of the most brainless posters that are against the “woke” (which is present in America since the Jews took over in the early 1900’s) to post their ignorant low IQ takes in opposition. They are correct when they say people that play gay sex simulators are probably gay and most certainly mentally retarded, but the masses have always been retarded and many if not most RPGs have been gay since Ultima.

While the game stars literal American regime shills in cameos it also appeals to the now ancient goldbox shovelware audience with its implementation of the D&D current edition ruleset. Leading to many grognards of poor taste to play the game and praising it despite the game taking a massive shit on them, trying to ignore both Larian “jokes”, the fujoshit and the constant stream of propaganda slop they are being forcefed playing the game. Since the game is fully voiced and cinematic it is also perfect for streamers and youtubers to “react” to and play, adding to its popularity. The drought of video games in general, with them taking more time to make and most of them being worse than ever due to both increasing complexity and increasing “diversity” must also play some role in the number of sales.

In many ways BG3 is a return to the early days, we have the turn-based but sloppy gameplay of the SSI shovelware titles, we have the Ed Greenwood coomerism, we have the Ultima VII style interactivity and story focus, we have the ass cancer that is Biowarian “romances” and visual novel breaks between the combat, and all this adapted for the current year troglodyte that now populate America and much of the modern world. It is the pinnacle of everything that was bad about D&D, Baldur’s Gate and early CRPG history. The same rightfully ostracised social outcasts that played these games back in the day, when they weren’t playing FATAL and rolling for anal circumference (a feature in BG4 I’m sure), is whom this game was made for, with the addition of women so fat they can’t find anyone to fuck them. The only thing that has changed is that these worst social elements are now a primary client group of the American government, when the pre-jew America would have favored the Aryan wargamer.

VERDICT: I give the game three ogre sex interruptions and one goblin foot fetish out of full on gay bear bestiality.

Feel free to whinge, seethe, cope in whatever manner you please, rate this post with whatever icon your butthurt demands and so forth. If you're extra butthurt feel free to rate this TL;DR. Or post your own review of the game.
 

laclongquan

Arcane
Joined
Jan 10, 2007
Messages
1,870,161
Location
Searching for my kidnapped sister
Too much meandering~ This is not a blog for some doped out of mind writers~ Keep close to topic, which is fair and balanced review of BG3.

Which you fail~ The part of keep close, at least~

Learn to paragraph in the new era, dawg! 3 lines or 5 sentences only.
 

The Jester

Cipher
Joined
Mar 1, 2020
Messages
1,579
Preface

Due to BG3 being a flagship game of American kultur-terror or rather the American regime cult there are countless threads being filled with highly emotional takes on the game. At the mildest criticism Swen’s agents quickly spam up threads with their whinging that Hitler is being resurrected if the entirety of the Codex doesn’t worship BG3 as their new RPG god. There are also countless of degenerate coomers that will defend the game against the slightest hint of criticism because it lets them indulge in their gay bear sex fantasies, as well as a couple of culture warriors that supposedly play the game out of spite or the lunatics that will tell you to watch gay porn and just fast forward through the fudgepacking bits. This being the case none of these people playing the game can be trusted to give the game a fair and objective review. This is why I’m stepping up to the task, having no interest in playing this at all since it isn’t a game worth playing, to review the game with a level head and entirely without bias or suspect motives.

How we got here

Since most users here are either so old they have grown senile, like Crispy, and don’t remember anything, or are recent arrivals still wet behind the ears and don’t know anything about anything, an introduction to the genre is in order. When Crispy was facing his first rejection at his jewish high school prom shortly after the Napoleonic wars the wargame was perfected in Prussia. This was a very European pastime and strongly rooted in the supremacy of the Aryans since antiquity, but it was perfected by one Georg von Reisswitz who was granted royal patronage. Although I could go on at length about what shapes they took in the deeper past, and how they would later evolve and what impact they had, the reason I mention this in my Baldur’s Gate 3 review is that it is important to acknowledge that when an American got his hands on this sort of thing he perverted it into a fantasy simulation, which was then turned into something truly rotten when Ed Greenwood in turn started playing it and gave us what was to become the standard D&D setting in the shape of his own magical realm. Although there was merit to the Gygaxian dungeon crawl that was only taken from its rough form and shaped into something truly worthwhile with the video game “blobber” the cringefest that is BG3 was there also, from the very beginning. RPGs were always decline.

We must also take into account what sort of loser was playing D&D, because as the game grew in popularity and the publishing jew got whiff of it, they started churning out an equivalent of DLCs for the game. Like Magic the Gathering took advantage of retarded children and teens who didn’t understand that 52 cards were adequate for just about any game of cards you might fancy, D&D wasn’t a game you bought, it was sold across a multitude of volumes and due to being so complex in the first place due to needing to peddle all these books also started selling canned adventures and pre-made dungeons and encounters. Wargamers would play their games with a single rulebook, with cheap and readable tokens easily put out onto a hexagonal map, leaving their shelves with ample room for history books and the like. The snot nosed D&D geek on the other hand would have his bookshelves stuffed to the brim with useless books on trivial Forgotten Realms lore, buy expensive miniatures, and get scammed endlessly. All this to simulate the most banal of fantasy stories set in the perverted sex fantasy of some neckbeard.

A brief overview of CRPG history

When tabletop roleplaying was adapted to computers we can roughly divide up the results into two camps, the licence holders and those games that were only inspired by tabletop. The latter gave us the best the CRPG genre has to offer, titles such as Might & Magic, Wizardry, The Dark Heart of Uukrul and other great games, as well as some of the worst the genre has to offer but we will come to that later. The former on the other hand has been a long line of mediocrities. We can safely skip the 1982 Intellivision title, because the cultural significance starts here with Pool of Radiance released in 1988 by SSI. Although SSI was a company that put out highly sophisticated wargames, true to their name, and the odd decent RPG title like Questron, their line of “Goldbox” games were a series of shovelware titles. They churned out fourteen of them starting with PoR before the public got tired of being served such slop but the damage to the genre had been done and this would shape further D&D adaptations. While SSI was busy milking the TSR cow the other harbinger of CRPG decline saw a rise to prominence, Richard Garriot. Slowly and surely over the years he had been putting together a proto-Skyrim with each Ultima iteration and it culminated with Ultima VII, a game that gave CRPGs cancer. No longer about turn-based combat or dungeon crawling, it now was a story-based world-simulation, and instead of having gameplay most of the games were spent listening to NPCs blathering on or baking bread and nonsense like that. The combat was more or less fully automated and a very small part of the Ultima VII games. These two CRPG strands are important to keep in mind because Baldur’s Gate 3 is the union of these two branches.

Bioware Era

Bioware had been putting together a real-time strategy game (RTS) when they found a publisher in Interplay, a very Jewish company ran by Brian Fargo, of the Fargo banking clan. Since they were in possession of the D&D licence they suggested to turn their RTS into an RPG and because the Bioware founders knew the importance of brand recognition they accepted. The Baldur’s Gate series was one of the first AAA RPG titles, featuring the open world of Ultima, but with pre-rendered large backgrounds. Whereas the goldbox shovelware had been cheaply churned out by the numbers but directed at an audience of nerds familiar with the ruleset, Bioware were making a dumbed down series to sell the game to a much larger audience. It’s important to see the parallels with BG3 in this first CRPG blockbuster, although the 150GB size of the new game might seem insane the first Baldur’s Gate came on a whopping five CDs like an FMV game would. Like in Ultima the combat was mostly automated, with the player pausing seeing the characters whack at one another like in an RTS to cast a spell or two. One might think of it as the CRPG equivalent to a Marvel flick and it was competing against the mindless clicker Diablo. The game was a massive success in sales and was an introduction for many to RPGs, prompting Bioware to develop a sequel that was even worse. Going from a bad RTS approximation to one with a visual novel tacked on to it. On a historical note Baldur’s Gate 2 had pre-order DLC in the way of a “bonus CD” with exclusive particularly fancy items long before Zionmax would peddle horse armors in Oblivion. As if Bioware hadn’t done enough damage to the genre with their cinematic approach, character drama, “quirky” party members and terrible implementation of an already bad ruleset they now introduced the world to “romances” with BG2. This is what would bridge the genre from the wargaming roots to fujoshit.

Bioware would continue to hit the same buttons proven successful with subsequent games, watering down the RPG elements that were barely there in the first place, making the games dumber and more accessible to the drooling masses, increasing the cinematic presentation. The games developed as they were being digested by EA could be seen as the ultimate logical conclusion of what they started with Baldur’s Gate. Mass Effect being a third person cinematic shooter and dating sim pretending to be an RPG, or Dragon Age, a series written by women and homosexuals for women and homosexuals. Both aiming to be to their time what BG had been to the 90’s. Dragon Age had been developed specifically as a replacement for the Forgotten Realms licence and we got a taste of what was to come there, homosexuality being the focus of the games. Instead of having to worry about monster ambushes while resting you had to worry about being buggered, especially in Dragon Age 2 which replaced dialogue options with Tim Cain approved icons and a Mass Effect styled dialogue circle. Eventually they would meet the same fate as all other EA purchases and little remains of the studio after Dragon Age Inquisition and Mass Effect 3.

The Rise of Larian

A year after Throne of Bhaal was released Larian had their own answer to the Diablo games, they had crossbred it with Ultima VII and it was titled Divine Divinity. It was more story focused, featuring again an open world explorable from an awkward Ultima-like perspective but featuring aspects of Diablo such as the combat, loot and such. The game was also marred by terrible writing and “jokes”. Over the years as Bioware put out their big releases they would continue trying to build on this but in a directionless manner. As 3D third person games were on the rise and old school CRPGs were dead they turned Divinity 2 into one, the game doesn’t stand out much from other games of the period. You could mistake it for any other game made around the same time, one of the Fable games, Venetica, Gothic 3, Oblivion, Demon’s Souls, or any other generic fantasy game played as a hack and slash in third person. All of which are poor imitations of Dungeon Lords, the singular good game of the sub-genre. The only thing that stood out was the bad writing. They would after that try to capture the Bioware audience with Dragon Commander, a real-time strategy game with visual novel elements and “romances”. You could tell the RTS bits were low on the list of priorities because they were very poorly put together while Larian had spent almost all of the money on voice acting and the parts of the game where you could bone skeletons. Since the game only featured content appealing to straight male incels and not femcels the game flopped, that audience was already being served by Bioware at the time, it came out the same year as Mass Effect 3.

This leads us to the more recent past, which I will quickly deal with since I don’t think the Original Sin games have disappeared from memory yet. Being on the verge of bankruptcy Larian was fortunate enough to being desperate for cash during the early kickstarter goldrush. Returning to their roots they promised going back to making Ultima clones and people bit the hook. The Codex contributed to the kickstarter, being nostalgic for the early Richard Garriot casualization of RPGs. This time around however they dropped the Diablo bits, the Diablo clone market being long since oversaturated, so they went turn-based instead. They also threw in co-op in there as a central feature. The campaign and the subsequent release was a financial success, allowing them to polish the game further, release it for consoles and create an even bigger sequel. After Divinity: Original Sin II sold like hotcakes, awkwardly narrated sex scenes and Ultima simulationist derived elemental shenanigans apparently being very popular with mouthbreathers Larian got an offer to make BG3.

Baldur´s Gate 3

Like Bioware Larian keeps hitting on the buttons that have rewarded them with success so far and one doesn’t need to play BG3 to see what sort of game it is and who the intended audience is. Whereas Todd Howard has made the already dumbed down Ultima available as a pisspoor shooter for the lowest IQ niggers and mutts without any discerning taste whatsoever, the upcoming Starfield being a prime example of that, Swen Vincke aimed to hit the rest of the mass market segments not covered by Bethesda. One of the largest audiences left homeless after the fall of Bioware has been the storyfags, particularly those without a sexlife and most unappealing to whatever gender they fancy. The ones that would analyse Tali’s sweat, the ones that would make horrible fanart of their gay romance interests, the Bioware social posters with fifteen different fetish banners in their profile. These are adjacent to the sort of “people” that watch Critical Role, roleplaying turned into maximum faggotry. It also comes bearing the teachings of the American state cult, which is one reason why so many gaming journalists are fawning over the game, and why the shills Swen sent to the Codex have a particularly colored tint to their posts. There is always the slant of challenging the game at all is also challenging Jewish supremacy, that not liking the game is an infraction against their nigger worship religion. This however has driven some of the most brainless posters that are against the “woke” (which is present in America since the Jews took over in the early 1900’s) to post their ignorant low IQ takes in opposition. They are correct when they say people that play gay sex simulators are probably gay and most certainly mentally retarded, but the masses have always been retarded and many if not most RPGs have been gay since Ultima.

While the game stars literal American regime shills in cameos it also appeals to the now ancient goldbox shovelware audience with its implementation of the D&D current edition ruleset. Leading to many grognards of poor taste to play the game and praising it despite the game taking a massive shit on them, trying to ignore both Larian “jokes”, the fujoshit and the constant stream of propaganda slop they are being forcefed playing the game. Since the game is fully voiced and cinematic it is also perfect for streamers and youtubers to “react” to and play, adding to its popularity. The drought of video games in general, with them taking more time to make and most of them being worse than ever due to both increasing complexity and increasing “diversity” must also play some role in the number of sales.

In many ways BG3 is a return to the early days, we have the turn-based but sloppy gameplay of the SSI shovelware titles, we have the Ed Greenwood coomerism, we have the Ultima VII style interactivity and story focus, we have the ass cancer that is Biowarian “romances” and visual novel breaks between the combat, and all this adapted for the current year troglodyte that now populate America and much of the modern world. It is the pinnacle of everything that was bad about D&D, Baldur’s Gate and early CRPG history. The same rightfully ostracised social outcasts that played these games back in the day, when they weren’t playing FATAL and rolling for anal circumference (a feature in BG4 I’m sure), is whom this game was made for, with the addition of women so fat they can’t find anyone to fuck them. The only thing that has changed is that these worst social elements are now a primary client group of the American government, when the pre-jew America would have favored the Aryan wargamer.

VERDICT: I give the game three ogre sex interruptions and one goblin foot fetish out of full on gay bear bestiality.

Feel free to whinge, seethe, cope in whatever manner you please, rate this post with whatever icon your butthurt demands and so forth. If you're extra butthurt feel free to rate this TL;DR. Or post your own review of the game.
The Indomitable TRUE CODDEXIAN Spirit has risen!
Larian trannys on suicide watch!
This review goes to Codex's hall of fame along with other masterpieces that defined their era such as Oblivion's review by V.D.
 
Last edited:

Mortmal

Arcane
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
9,215
"Whereas Todd Howard has made the already dumbed down Ultima UNDERWORLD available as a pisspoor shooter for the lowest IQ niggers and mutts without any discerning taste whatsoever,"
Fixed this.
 

Be Kind Rewind

Educated
Zionist Agent
Joined
Mar 14, 2021
Messages
496
Location
Serbia
A very in depth and beautifully stylised piece of literally work. An example to follow for future reviewers.
I intentionally half-assed it and wrote it in ten minutes to reflect the reported state of the game, it's like poetry, it rhymes. If Larian spent years jerking off instead of making a decent game I'm not going to waste my time playing the game and I'm not going to spend too much time on the review either, not even editing it.

My key point is serious though, there's an almost racial pedigree to true RPGs. You can see a straight line of genius from Georg von Reisswitz, being weakened in Gary Gygax and then making a return in the likes of Jon Van Caneghem, Robert Woodhead, D. W. Bradley and having its final renaissance in Cleve Blakemore. Just as how you can trace Aristotle to modern Albanians and Serbs. These are the Greco-Aryans of the RPG genre, the closest you can get to a proper kriegsspiel without playing one.

rpgsx7eh5.png


Then you have the eternal LARPERs, forces of decline and shitty games. Just by looking at the developers in charge you can tell that Swen Vincke is the heir of Richard the Faggot Garriott. And just like Lord British was the alter ego of the man that ruined RPGs Todd put himself in as the character creation door to door salesman in Fallout 4. The only difference between Todd and Swen is that Todd makes games for niggers without nous, brainless games where you click on enemies until they die and without any of the good aspects of shooters, while Swen makes games for human elephants like Jim "My Wife Cucked Me So Hard and I Can't Find My Own Penis So I Now Think I'm a Woman" Sterling, or the political version of The Spoony One or Nostalgia Critic, for drooling retards that needs a middle class American consoomer to tell them what to think on behalf of the American regime, whom is in BG3.

larpersrmdef.png


We need to destroy America since they use the LARPER games as a vehicle for state propaganda and to spread their cult, probably because it is so easily accessible and casualized with no gameplay to speak of. This is why there's such a religious experience people are having when they defend day in and out online.

empirefowds7.png
 

KeighnMcDeath

RPG Codex Boomer
Joined
Nov 23, 2016
Messages
13,156
I think Sven is a polar opposite of Richard. Time will tell if Sven goes the infinite pay DLC, PTW, NFT route. Somehow, I have my doubts.
 
Last edited:

Be Kind Rewind

Educated
Zionist Agent
Joined
Mar 14, 2021
Messages
496
Location
Serbia
I think Sven is a polar opposite of Richard. Time will tell if Sven goes the infinite pay DLC, PTW, NFT route. Somehow, I have my doubts.
I'm talking about the Richard Garriott of the 80's and 90's, not the has-been scam artist he later became, and not about business models either. BG3 has the same pre-order DLC Baldur's Gate 2 had. Honestly I wasn't kidding I have zero interest in BG3, I mostly just wanted to preach the gospel of good RPGs after trying Ultima VII again and still hating it just as much as I did the first time around. The big historical beats on the LARP side would start with the Ultima games, then straying further from anything worthwhile with the Baldur's Gate games, the second one in particular developing the "romance" cancer that has kept growing and growing. Swen is just the fulfillment of that curve, going completely into gutter with the game not only being a dating sim but being an ugly blend of Tubmlr and Loverslab degeneracy, stamped with the American regime cult seal of approval. You can't tell the regular elves from the drow anymore since the game is jampacked with niggers. Ed Greenwood is probably proud. The codex neckbeards that aren't heavily invested in the American cult triumvirate (groomers, coomers and trooners) and that don't worship niggers or thinks that the inbred kikes are their "master race" are probably sucked in by the same half-assed TTRPG implentation slop they were served up by SSI. SSI made good games, great even, the "gold box" games weren't among them.

When RPGs switched over from being about challenging dungeon crawls and mazes to being about peepee poopoo simulation, dating sims, "storytelling" and non-grid-based open world faggotry they stopped being good. Fuck your choices and consequences VN bullshit, fuck your critical role gay drama class LARP, fuck your open world "you can move that barrel" bullshit, fuck your regime propaganda and fuck Richard Garriott for starting this lineage.
 

KeighnMcDeath

RPG Codex Boomer
Joined
Nov 23, 2016
Messages
13,156
IMHO, old games don’t die and neither does how to make them. There are non AAA groups attempting to create various games. Shit changes and will continue to change. And lots of drama and hate or love for whatever comes out is publicity for Sven. It ain’t going away.

Something I think probably sucks about BG3 (and most games) is you can’t type out what you want to say and have the ai react to that appropriately via the supposed personality of the NPCS. Honestly, I don’t think the chatty AI is there yet. These games are missing some extra free agency with what you as the player says and does. You probably can’t DESTROY EVERYTHING either. Something will be indestructible. Look at BG3 as another stepping stone to try and push certain limits. Richard G. at one time tried to do that with each game and then…. He went fucking bonkers.

Nothing wrong with old games of the style you mention. Nothing wrong with ancient primitive games. I dare say a lot of new games are ok (maybe not great but ok). Everyone is looking for something different and they can’t all be pleased.

I’m still waiting a long while on this game before purchase. (Probably after a new computer and patch city is over with on it). I have too huge of a backlog to anyway.
 

Frozen

Arcane
Joined
Jan 1, 2014
Messages
8,405
Sven is the evil one now. He destroyed his company for $$$$$ transforming it into hub for cringe porn simulator that caters to fat housewives fapping to fantasy about being raped by horned monsters and faggot elfs.

Thats my review of Divinity 3
 

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