Incline Revisiting Old Games (Again)

[Curratum]

The shitty old games you didn't like the first time around are not going to magically get better, they're still shit and you will still hate them.

Source - the 972 hidden games in my 1323 game Steam library.

 

[Falksi]

Batman - MEGADRIVE

After a bad start I decided to go back to a game which I'd played many times and knew that I once loved, Megadrive Batman. Again it's been some years, but surely I had to catch a break now? Yes, at last. Not only was it as enjoyable as I remember, but now I'm older & wiser and can appriciate games more, it was even better.

Firstly, the music. Fuck me this is some absolutely banging, rocking stuff. Choca full of of powerful, melodic dancy booms and beats, bar the odd tune it's pretty much none-stop quality from start to finish. The graphics are smart, well sized and sexy, and there's more than enough nods to the movie to call it a genuine film tie-in too.

The action is a fast paced, simple-but-effect platform-beat-em-up affair, and everything feels so crunchy & good too. And the real cherry on the top is the level design & variation, with batmobile & batwing setctions breaking the game up very nicely.

It's easy and there's not much to see once you've finished it, but for those 30-60 min it's an absolute blast. It's like going to a great party, metting a beautiful woman, having an amazing 30-60min fuck with her then off hime to bed. You won't fall for it like you would something with far more soul such as a classic RPG, but for that short space in time it's magic.

 

[Falksi]

Fallout 3's intro is awesome.

Coming kicking and screaming into the world straight out the vagina, blood and all, & to the dulcet tones of Liam Neeson was bang on.

I've always been a fan of humble begining starts in games anyway. A lot of my fave 16-bit RPGs are those where you start in the village as a nobody and graduate to world saver. It's cliched but I still like it. FO3 does that really well.

Why is it that a humble beginning is told in such an overwrought, lengthy, spectacular 'cinematic', painfully cringey way? Why do I have to sit there waiting on all the unskippable bullshit, all concocted around a completely nonsensical and uninteresting conceit? Not only is the story implausible as others mentioned, the greater crime is that it's completely boring, and gives you no way to give a shit about dad.

When you could just get shot in the face for delivering a package and wake up in a country doctor's office, and be on your way?

FO3 start was just a desperate desire to put a long movie in front of their games. First "Cavern Journeys with Patrick Stewart", and now "Vagina Adventures with Liam Neeson".

New Vegas' intro was good too.

Someone should make Vagina Adventures with Liam Neeson

 

[Falksi]

Chrono Trigger - SNES

^If only the game itself was as epic as this pic suggets

Been a good 15 years since I played this one. Remember absolutely loving it, but feeling as if it ended quite abruptly originally. I started playing it around a month ago, so here we are now.

And I gotta say, I'm disapointed by it. In fact, you know what I am by it? Bored. Fucking bored. It's a decent if not good game, I like it, it's charming, has great music, has some really nice fine-tuned elements etc. but.......it just gets boring quickly.

The first 1/3rd of the game I quite enjoyed. It was paced well, and there's no doubt that overall the game does loads right. But the whole thing seems to get really padded out around the half way point. Combat especiallly feels so easy, repetitive & pointless that soon each battle begins to grate. Which is a shame because the ideas behind the combat such as attcking enemies all in a line with Slash are theoretically good, but the opportunities to make the most of such skills rarely appear, so you're often just left mashing attack knowing you'll win easily anyway.

I gave up around 2/3rds of the way through. It started to really feel like a chore and with each playthrough more & more annoyances became predominant. Still I had some fun with it, and it's that type of RPG that will be ideal for getting young kids into the genre, so kudos there.

 

[DalekFlay]

I loved SNES JRPGs as a kid but whenever I go back and try to play them I'm bored to tears. Even nostalgia doesn't get me through their painfully slow pacing and (now that I'm a wiser adult) poorly written stories. The music still kicks ass though.

 

[blrrmmmff]

Fucking Falksi's Mom - Reality

Hairy pussy and too old. And 9 months later Falksi popped out. Maybe if I did not leave for cigarettes, I could have instilled a good taste of video games in him. But now it is too late.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

Chrono Trigger - SNES

I agree with this. I didn't get a chance to play it back when it was new, but I did try to catch up to it via emulator roughly 15 years ago.

It has a lot of things going for it... but also a lot of things that are off-putting.

For example, anyone doing a background check on the game before firing it up will do a spit take on the "13 different endings"-thing. The "New Game+" concept is also a huge turn-off. If you're gonna do that, do it right. Very few people liked the fact that they had to play Ghosts 'n' Goblins (or Ghouls 'n Ghosts) all over again to get the True Ending. Offer something good and tasty for the second run, not some warmed-up leftovers. Chrono Trigger failed at that.

Chrono Trigger did succeed in making very memorable characters, having minor actions have major consequences and rocking a super soundtrack.

Well... maybe not a super soundtrack. Can you imagine my reaction when I realized that "Robo's Theme" is Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up"?



Still, some memorable tunes in that soundtrack.

 

[Tweed]

Fallout 3's intro is awesome.

Coming kicking and screaming into the world straight out the vagina, blood and all, & to the dulcet tones of Liam Neeson was bang on.

I've always been a fan of humble begining starts in games anyway. A lot of my fave 16-bit RPGs are those where you start in the village as a nobody and graduate to world saver. It's cliched but I still like it. FO3 does that really well.

Liam Neeson can't save that game because there's nothing to save. Bethesda completely squandered that character, but you really can't expect much from a writing staff that thinks a bunch of people living around an unexploded atomic bomb is cool, or that a village full of nothing but children is logical or, "vampires" or, well you get the idea. Bethesda also forgot that people don't want to sit through that sequence every single time they make a new character.

Anyhow I refuse to believe this is anything less than bait now since you claim to love humble beginnings, but completely ignore what I said earlier about how Bethesda's tried and true model always makes you the center of the universe. In nearly every Bethesda game, even Morrowind, the world is just waiting for you to take up the mantle of hero and save them. I'm reminded of the superman speech from Kill Bill vol 2, no matter how much you pretend to be bandit, or a paladin, or a farmer etc etc., at the end of the day you're always really the hero just playing pretend and the game is simply waiting for you to quit messing around and fulfill your destiny. Kind of like how it's your destiny to fucking die of radiation at the end of Fallout 3 even though there's no less than 3 goddamned characters who are completely immune to radiation who can do it for you. Oh I guess if you have the DLC installed you can make them do it, but it's considered bad and cowardly, holy fucking shit!

In Fallout 1, 2, and arguably New Vegas you're a nobody who's been handed a task that winds up getting you involved in the world and you eventually become the most important person in the story.

 

[Falksi]

Fucking Falksi's Mom - Reality

Hairy pussy and too old. And 9 months later Falksi popped out. Maybe if I did not leave for cigarettes, I could have instilled a good taste of video games in him. But now it is too late.

Fuckinghell dad! I told you to stop posting on here!

 

[Falksi]

Thunderforce 3 - Megadrive

Boom! In your fucking face my son. This is what what modern gaming is lacking. The equivlent of a fortnight on the piss with your best mates in the prime of you life. Short, sweet, banging, full of spunk and just a great ride. TF3 grabs you by the bollocks right from the off, and rarely lets go. It's short lived, but it's an intense experience during that time.

TF3 wisely drops the overhead sections found in TF2 and concentrates on it's main strenth - the side scrolling ones. It handles these supremely well, it absolutely drowns you with exciting, varied graphics & environments, and backs all that up with some simply amazing music. I mean these tunes are fucking rocking.

The aesthetics aren't the only stunning thing about the game though, it plays like a dream. The enemies & levels are designed absolutely mint, with constantly fast paced and franetic action jolting you around, and some very devious sections too.

In fact Thunderforce 3 has something of a Dark Souls quality it. It's devilishly tricky at times and there are often parts which you've simply no chance of surviving without playing them first. But like Dark Souls a combination of superb atmospherics, immense satisfaction when succeeding, and a great learning curve give it a real charm and somehow make dieing fun.

The various weapons in the game and fact you can operate gears to adjust your speed add a nice little layer of tactical depth to itm which means the right ones used at the right time make a big difference to your progression. For the most part they're all very well balanced in sync with the gameplay, levels and enemies, and this encourages experimentation to find the best one for each situation, thus meaning you don't just pick a fave and rely on it. There do come points though when a combination of shields, extra drones & the weapon "hunter" can make things a bit trivial at times, and those points see it take a large leap from being very challenging to quite easy when fully powered.

Most levels are also very unique, very enjoyable, and keeps things fresh, apart from the last one, in which it becomes very apparent that they ran out of ideas and gave up a bit.

But the intense, full on, "have it" experience which you get the majority of the time is as good as it gets. A thoroughly enjoyable game to this day, and one which every gamer should own.

 

[Lady_Error]

Spirit of Adventure (1991) - PC

The precursor to the Realms of Arkania games, except with Wizardry combat. Yes, it's good and I played it for the first time just a few years back. The only downside is the somewhat clunky UI, but you can get used to it.

 

[Falksi]

Buck Rogers Countdown to Doomsday - Megadrive

So I was torn between which version to go back tp, PC or Megadrive. The PC version is clearly superior, but it's also been covered plenty and the Megadrive version was the one I tried first and, more importantly, was one of the games which opened my eyes up to the plethora of RPG's on PC and thus purchasing (or pestering dad) to purchase a PC in the first place. So I thought fuck it, back to the Megadrive version.

Big mistake. OK not a "big" mistake, but it's significantly weaker and, whereas the PC version lacks certain presentation elements, the customizability and other elements it has keep it far more enjoyable than the slightly more fancy, but far more dumbed down MD version.

Playing it now, it's apparent that a very hit and miss game all round. Combat is interesting and often fun, as is the ship combat, and the game itself is a nice little jouney. Three levels in particular hold up well, and when the game hits the spot it really hits. During it's more interesting and imaginitive levels it draws you in and blooms. But then there are also a fair few missions which miss that spot big time, and when the game misses boy does it miss, often dragging and grating as you play. It's fairly discriptive in areas, yet again strangely sparse in other, and those areas with little discription feel empty as hell. Whereas when you play on PC, the very act of exploring is presented in such a way that it's naturally a bigger draw.

What does strangely work though is having the game compliment some other form of entertainment such as radio. Turn the music off, listen to you're football team on the radio as they play away, you're fave album, a youtube documentary on your fave comedian or whatever, and suddenly the game becomes far more endureable and enjoyable.

Whilst it's dated badly and a real slog at times, BR:CTD still contains a lot of key elements that makes a great RPG. elements which many modern RPGs fail at recreating or miss out alltogether. If someone could do it without raping it, then it'd be nice to see this franchize make a Shadowrun type return.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

You are aware that the Buck Rogers RPG is one of the reasons TSR and SSI parted ways in the early 90s, thereby dooming both companies into solvency and re-acquisitions by larger corporate entities?

The woman who wrested control of TSR from Gary Gygax was also heiress to the Buck Rogers IP, so she pushed for a revival of the franchise. As a result we got stuck with both a tabletop RPG and the cRPGs that tried to take a laughably outdated concept seriously. If they had gone with a less serious approach it could have been a contender.

 

[Falksi]

You are aware that the Buck Rogers RPG is one of the reasons TSR and SSI parted ways in the early 90s, thereby dooming both companies into solvency and re-acquisitions by larger corporate entities?

The woman who wrested control of TSR from Gary Gygax was also heiress to the Buck Rogers IP, so she pushed for a revival of the franchise. As a result we got stuck with both a tabletop RPG and the cRPGs that tried to take a laughably outdated concept seriously. If they had gone with a less serious approach it could have been a contender.

Had absolutely no idea about all that. I don't pay that much attention to the industry itself tbh, but appriciate the info none-the-less

Whoever did it, I'd just love a good ol fashioned space exploration game in a similar style. Prob Shadowrun-esq

 

[Unkillable Cat]

SSI also released a Spelljammer game in the same vein. IIRC it's worse than Buck Rogers ever could be.

If you can stomach the archaic interfaces, you might want to look into the MegaTraveller games, Space Rogue and possibly even the Starflight games.

 

[Beastro]

What does strangely work though is having the game compliment some other form of entertainment such as radio. Turn the music off, listen to you're football team on the radio as they play away, you're fave album, a youtube documentary on your fave comedian or whatever, and suddenly the game becomes far more endureable and enjoyable.

I know a lot hate the music in the game but it's one of the reasons why I like it. It's dark, moody and atmospheric play the midi vibe to always sucked me in.

As a result we got stuck with both a tabletop RPG and the cRPGs that tried to take a laughably outdated concept seriously. If they had gone with a less serious approach it could have been a contender.

I liked the serious take on readapting BR and what new they added to the setting (or expanded upon that was based from passing comments on the series done 8-10 years before then. The only issue about it was how much all of that was simply new stuff that had no connection to the original premise.

Do not the change in tone in Countdown when Rogers does pop up.

If you can stomach the archaic interfaces, you might want to look into the MegaTraveller games, Space Rogue and possibly even the Starflight games.

You can balance things out with Starflight by playing the Genesis version which doesn't lose as much as it gains from the port.

 

[rusty_shackleford]

The woman who wrested control of TSR from Gary Gygax was

A massive cunt.

 

[Falksi]

Castlevania 4 - SNES

^Nippleless tits. Like sucking on the fat end of a ballon.

I vant to suck your blad! ah ah ah ah ah!!! Vampires eh? We've had some mileage out of them over the years haven't we? I remember having a bit of a love-bored thing going off with this game in my youth, so thought it'd be interesting to see what I thought now. Well I enjoyed it. It's fair to say I'm glad I returned, but it is slightly weaker than I remember too.

When it hits the spot, it really hits the spot. The music, level design, boss aesthetics, controls, and gameplay all hit a very high standard at various points throughout, and when all that aligns it's lush, engrossing, and fun.

There's just something incredibly gratifying about the 8-way whip which you possess as your main weapon, swinging around with it and also beating enemies with it like a crazed bondage master. Your side weapons compliment that setup well too, and the whole shebang manages to give you a great feel of being this early modern era vampire hunting commando.

And when I say it's "engrossing" let's talk a bit more about the music in particular. Many games of this era had some incredible music, but this is up there with the absolute best of them, no question. It's no coincidence that some of these tunes were strong enough to be revamped from the 8-bit era to the 16-bit one, and then afterwards many times over throughout later generations of gaming too. Some of the versions found in this game are, in my humble opinion, some of the best available too, and this game's soundtrack is one which you can genuinely listen to and enjoy as it's own album. Some tunes contribute so much to the game's sense of excitement, that they get your pulse racing by themselves alone. Even the odd jazzy style track which normally wouldn't work does. Simply some of THE finest gaming music ever made.

The environmental challenges and vertical platforming sections add a lot of fun to proceedings, with the clock tower being a particular highlight for me. Overall there is also tons of superficial character in the game throughout, with the theme of each stage really contributing to the sense of adventure & gothic horror. But unfortunately these quality bits, of which there are many, are often broken up by fairly lengthy sections of nothingness, especially in the earlier stages. There were a fair few sections I'd play through and be thinking "come-on, I want something new now". Overall it can occasionally feel like it's a bit of a ploddy sight-seeing tour of Transilvania, rather than an action game, and I reckon it would have been a better, tighter experience if they'd have trimmed away around 10-20% of the bog standard stages.

And one pet peeve in particular which significantly contributes to this lack of excitement is that you face the same bog standard enemies over & over & over again. Not only that but these bog standard enemies are really mundane, especially when compared to other similar games (Bloodlines for one). Bats & skeletons in particular long overstay their welcome, and come stage 9 their continued inclusion is as baffling as it annoying.

It's a really, really great game which could have been an absolute classic had they trimmed the fat & up the ante and pace a bit in places. It drips ambience from every vain, and soaks you in gothic thrive. But there is just a bit too much filler in there which pads it out, and that occasionally takes it from a constant ride of "fuck yeah! I'm a badass vampire killer!" to "yeah, I'm a badass vampire killer, but today's dragging a bit and I'm due a tea break"

Definitely worth a place in everyone's collection, just not quite up to the standards of the absolute best games on the system.

 

[Darth Canoli]

See that's the type of post worth something Heck of a difference between clearing Vault City, and getting to or going through Vailt City (folk usually say getting to vault city is when it gets good)

Thanks for that. I will try one last time in a week or two.

Fallout 2 is a game made for Fallout 1 fans.

Seems to me you're playing the wrong one because Fallout 1 is more focused with a better beginning.
When you played and enjoyed the first one, it's time for Fallout 2, not a minute before.

What Fallout 2 does is fixing Fallout 1 micro issues adding more content with very good companions but loosing the first one focus and with underwhelming start.

 

[Falksi]

See that's the type of post worth something Heck of a difference between clearing Vault City, and getting to or going through Vailt City (folk usually say getting to vault city is when it gets good)

Thanks for that. I will try one last time in a week or two.

Fallout 2 is a game made for Fallout 1 fans.

Seems to me you're playing the wrong one because Fallout 1 is more focused with a better beginning.
When you played and enjoyed the first one, it's time for Fallout 2, not a minute before.

What Fallout 2 does is fixing Fallout 1 micro issues adding more content with very good companions but loosing the first one focus and with underwhelming start.

Cheers mate.

I'm giving both a wide berth for now until I've time to play them properly. Life's a bit all over, which is why I'm dropping on to the more bitesized, pick up & play old school games currently. Think tucking up to both Fallout games in Winter will be ideal.

 

[octavius]

What Fallout 2 does is fixing Fallout 1 micro issues adding more content with very good companions but loosing the first one focus and with underwhelming start.

Well, I wouldn't call fixing the annoying inventory system of F1 (having the most recent items being at the bottom meaning you have to scroll down every time) and the companion AI/path finding micro issues. But otherwise I agree.

 

[Falksi]

X-Com Apocalypse - PC

Surprised that this doesn't get more love on here. The original X-Com is the creme de la creme, but this is right up there with it for me, better than the Nu-Xcom games (which I do like) and any of the copycats such as Xenonauts by far.

What it nails it fucking nails. The ramped up destruction is quality, the "new" aliens nice & fresh, and the space-city corporate vibe just fits everything really well. No one in their right mind plays it in real time, turn based all the way, and whilst some of the real time bullshit spills over slightly it's still done well enough to be a quality TB experience.

Trying to find that last alien is a pain as always, and vehicle combat sometimes feels a bit of a trudge, but they're small gripes. Tearing through a slum with a heavy launcher, set of autocannons, and Poppers as targets is just satisfyingly good. Not to mention the tension of seeing an army of aliens fly at you lasers blazing. Brilliant stuff.

 

[Falksi]

John Madden's 92 - Megadrive

^Quarterbacks spend most their life looking at other men's asses

Remember hearing that intro music on the original John Madden's game? Fuck me it knocked my socks off. Being a Brit, American Football had eluded me massively before this game came out. It seemed way to complex for my young mind to understand, and way to slow & cumbersome compared to proper football, or "soccer". However, Mean Machines was my monthly gaming bible, and Jaz Rignall a chilhood hero. So when he raved about the original JM I had to get it, and I wasn't disappointed. It actually got me into watching Monday night football & supporting the 49ers + Seahawks for a while.

I went back to JM '92 because I remember it being my fave of the series. It had more depth, polish & challenge than the first game (I remember winning one match 488-0 on the first game once - San Fran, Fast, HB Screen over & over), but also seemed to play slicker & better than the sequels.

Returning to it now and within minutes I'm as lost in it as I used to be. I put this on before our lass got us our tea for a quick quarter, and by the time I've put it down I've played the full match and tea's gone cold. One of those games which reminds me what a lovely era this was. Just such a great blend of simplicity & depth, it's fucking frightening how modern games seem to lack this balance so much.

I wouldn't say it's an all out classic, simply because once you've had a few games the repetition does set in. It's the type of game to play in bursts. Great little package though.

 

[Falksi]

John Madden '98 - Megadrive

So after playing '92 I got to thinking "were the sequels as bad as I remember?" And decided to go back and play one of them.

Well of course they fucking were. Worse in fact. I barely lasted 10min playing this far inferior game. Somehow they've managed to take all the smooth, fun, instinctive controls & playability, and mesh it into this warped, twisted version of what used to be a good game. It plays worse, sounds worse, looks better in some ways but worse in others, and most importantly it just feels bad.

Wank.

Gets a simply because it has slivers of what made the originals so good somewhere in there.

 

[Falksi]

Moonwalker - Megadrive

^ If ever a screenshot spoke a million words which should be left unspoken.......

Well on a Megadrive roll tonight, the games just keep jumping out at me. What better way than to see myself off to bed than by playing the role of the world's most talented Pedo in Moonwalker?

The game we'll get to shortly, but this instantly gets a whole point simply for being a game about a real life kiddy-fiddler who goes around and "rescues" kids. You simply cannot make this shit up, art immitateing life etc. You can even thrust your groin in their face & make the Jackson "Oh!" noise by pressing up on the controller. I suspect he endorsed this game wholeheartedly.

So the game itself is OK. A fairly mediocre affair, which stays appealing due to it's excellent soundtrack, unique setup (mostly Jacko's moves), and pedophilic comedy aspect. The dance moves "smart bomb" remains one of the best ever seen, and some of the level layouts themselves are actually quite good.

But it falls over in several areas. It's too damn repetitive for one. Same enemies, same level look. It REALLY could have done with a bit more variety. Also, the cool special moves drain your health which I've never been a fan of. You should be encouraged to do these dance moves all the time, not conserve or ration them.

Fucking kids is a touchy subject at best, and not something anyone should make light of nor encourage. But if you are ever going to step into the shoes of a nonce, make sure those shoes move & groove like the plastic master Mr Micheal Jackson. Shamone!