Skyrim blind LP AKA A Tale of a Cowardly Breton

[anus_pounder]

On the bright side, at least bethesda doesn't look like they'll be planning games around romance anytime soon. On the other hand, bethesda (or rather Obsidian) did in-directly give us the uterus eating mod.....

Bethesda or Bioware, which is better and why?

 

[lightbane]

Bethesda. Not even Oblivion's writing (well, the gameplay too) is as bad as Dragon Derp 2, especially with the latest DLC.

 

[racofer]

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THOSE TEXTURES?!?!

Why? They are pretty mega. Courtesy of Technical Visionary himself

Oh fuck. My old-gen eyes are probably not compatible with Mega Textures, time to have them replaced at the local jewish body enhancement center.

 

[KickAss]

it's hilarious how the kitty is peaking and grinning in the background of the screenshots :D

 

[Data4]

Alduin is supposed to be the destroyer of worlds or something. Tamriel's Deathwing, if you will.

I thought he'd be bigger.

 

[baronjohn]

Alright, Imma do the Blades mission. It involves sneaking into an Altmer embassy in Solitude, which sounds interesting. She says she has an informant in the embassy who will sneak in whatever equipment I give him.

Before I go, I buy some new robes. Shop items are leveled in Skyrim, which is fucking stupid, but whatever. Embrace the decline.

On my walk to Solitude

I find a fort with necromancers

One of them has a Daedra heart

No mercy, bitch

This is... nice

Teehee

There's solitude, up there.

The blades contact is in the pub. Since I'm a mage, I don't really have to give him anything

I go to the stables where Delphine is waiting

I take the Skyrim limo to the embassy

 

[baronjohn]

Is this guy some sort of reference? I have no idea.

I don't think there's actually any way of fucking this up.

I didn't know the high elves were such badass stylish nazis.

Alright, here's the informant. We need a distraction, apparently.

Hmm. Nice armor

Time to strip up trouble. He asks me to talk to her.

I do, and she tells me that she thinks the guy is disgusting. I go back and tell him that she wants him.

They start a commotion. The guards intervene

Time to disappear

The elf soldiers don't like the mages either apparently

I could sneak by them, but I don't have the skill and I want their armor

Oh yeahhhhhhh

I make my way to the basement where someone is being tortured. Apparently the elves are looking for someone and this guy told them that he saw him in Riften.

I also find their intelligence reports. The Altmer dominion doesn't know anything about the dragons

Time to go back to Riverwood

A dragon attacks just as I arrive

Now Riverwood has a dragon corpse in the middle of the intersection

Delphine tells me about Esbern, the Blades archivist who knows quite a bit about dragons, which is probably why the nazi elves are looking for him.

This armor looks really neat. Unfortunately I really need the robes for their magic bonuses

I finish buying up all the house decorations. Housecarl moved in too, and without even asking me.

The smith has some dwarven armor for sale. I buy it up to see what a full set looks like

For comparison, here's the Morrowind dwemer armor, which looked far more awesome.

Skyrim has a bookshelf that you can "open" and put books in, and they are automatically placed.

Now we have dwarf armor, we need to visit the dwarf city!

 

[anus_pounder]

Have you seen any examples of Radiant quests so far ?

 

[baronjohn]

I think the quests to kill the forsworn are radiant quests, but I'm not sure. There are just SO MANY quests it's ridiculous.

 

[baronjohn]

As I arrive in Markarth, there is a murder. Apparently it's by a group known as the Forsworn.

A bit further I'm bothered by someone investigating a house. He wants me to go in with him to check it out. A strange man on the street leading a young woman into an abandoned house? WHY NOT!

Suddenly, voices in my head. Uhm, this was unexpected.

The other guy is overwhelmed and attacks me.

The daedra wants me to find a priest and lead him here. Is that the Mace of Molag Bal? Meh. I'm a mage.

It's day when I get out, so time to show off the city, which is actually quite nice.

I find Calcelmo, who is part of the Goddess of Mara quest line, and also sent me a letter asking for the dwarf helmet I bought from the Whiterun smith.

He's in love with the housecarl, but doesn't know anything about her. I have to ask someone what she's into

Museum? Hmm.

There's also an elf nazi here.

You can buy a house here. That sounds good.

Alright. He wants me to purge some Palestinian refugee camp.

Turns out Calcelmo's love is into poetry. I have someone write up a poem.

Housecarl is impressed. She writes a letter for Calcelmo

Calcelmo is happy too.

I ask about the dwemer museum and he wants me to kill a spider before he'll let me in. That's kind of scummy consider all I've done for him already.

The spider isn't much of a challenge.

Yeah, sure, I'll "mind" them.

I upgraded conjugation so now I can double cast summons to make them last longer

The Palestinian camp is purged with fire.

Can I buy a house now? Apparently not...

Guess I have to do more tasks. This one isn't voiced so it's probably a radiant quest.

Onward!

SO RANDUM XD

Eliminating more Palestinian terrorists.

This location is big...

Can I buy a house now??? Still not?!

The nearby priest has more problems. I decide to help out.

Something strange is going on...

I think you have the wrong person, lady.

But she wants me to help her out...

The cave is full of undead and she wants me to clear it

Okay! Can I buy a house now?! Nope!

I go back to Whiterun and pick up the daedra heart

The smith gives me some useless item in exchange

I fought another dragon somewhere, I don't even know where or when.

Purged more Palestinians

This is ridiculous. The jews still won't give me a house

On my way to the cave with the cannibal with an undead problem, I take a quest to clear a mine of Palestinians.

I get lost and find an orc outpost. They want me to find some item before they'll let me in.

I get to the cave and tell her to stay back. I can handle undead.

Meh. Boring.

She wants me to bring a priest so she can eat him. Yeah, I dunno. Maybe later. Bye now. Don't call me, I'll call you.

This jew keeps giving me more and more Palestinian camps to purge, but still won't let me buy a house.

So this is where all that aid money goes to? Building yourself a keep?

SAY HI TO ALLAH FOR ME

Still can't buy a house. This is making me angry.

Okay, I got a note from this guy telling me to meet him here. He says that there's something odd about these Palestinian attacks and wants me to investigate. Alright.

The first person (is this the one I saved from the forsworn assassin? I don't remember) he sends me to says she's an imperial spy sent here to investigate the Treasury House and the Silver-Blood family.

The city guard warn me to stop snooping around.

I visit the Treasury House next. Nice boobs for an old woman.

The boss doesn't want to talk to me.

For whatever reason, the Palestinians attack and kill his wife. He tells me what their king is imprisoned in Markarth

He was using the king to eliminate his competitors and other undesirables in the city, but now he's lost control.

I ask him if he wants me to assassinate the king, but apparently he doesn't care now that his wife is dead. Choices and consequences!

Next I visit the Markarth underworld where the poor live. I retrieve a note.

Dwarf armor loading screen!

Some guy confronts me outside and wants to brawl. I trash him and he tells me that he was sent by Nepos The Nose

Time to visit Nepos

They all burn

That's everyone. I go back to report to the guy and find guards around his dead body

You can fight, but it's pretty hard. I decide to go with them instead.

I get life in prison. Oh dear.

 

[Data4]

I take back what I said in another thread about the Dwemer ruins. I took a walk through Malkreth and was glad to see plenty of old metal pipes and crap. None of the magic electric lights yet, but in general, it retains the old MW feel and not Tolkienesque at all. There's supposed to be more ruins that are just, well, ruins, elsewhere in the game. I wonder if there are any Dwemer ghosts.