Catastrophe ahoy! Let's Play Eric The Unready

[Crooked Bee]

Awesome!
Also, Zork!

Looking up, you see the trap door quivering with satisfaction that it has lived up to its name.

 

[Darth Roxor]

The underbrush catches fire quickly and the forest starts to vibrate with a low rumble. You recognize the symptoms of a completed quest and do a little fleeing yourself.

And dammit, Grizela is... just... well, damn, I can't find the words for this cruelty

 

[Sceptic]

friartucksduck gets seven points, even though I didn't count #6 (mainly because the character of Igor does not exist in the original Frankenstein; it was added much later on by one of the movies), because the little tidbit about the bottomless pits is pretty cool.

And dammit, Grizela is... just... well, damn, I can't find the words for this cruelty

That's not Grizelda, that's her mother, the current Queen and Fudd's second wife. Grizelda would be her puppet should Eric fail in his quest.

Also, I'm surprised no one commented on Sir Pectoral's name. But then your brians are probably overloaded from the puns.

 

[Brother None]

I gotta say, while the writing is funny, isn't this game...a bit easy? I mean it sorta just tells you what to do when you're doing it wrong, and just gives you whatever items you need. Guess that's (not) the point of it...

 

[Yaar Podshipnik]

It's Tuesday already, where's the update?

Also for this LP.

 

[Sceptic]

I gotta say, while the writing is funny, isn't this game...a bit easy? I mean it sorta just tells you what to do when you're doing it wrong, and just gives you whatever items you need. Guess that's (not) the point of it...

Yeah it's pretty easy, made even easier by the dumbing down concessions like the backpack (which could regive you items you dropped but should NOT give you items that you never acquired in the first place. And if you get stuck because you specifically ignored Bud and didn't buy some root beer, well, though). Normally the easiness would bother me if I didn't find the game so damn funny. It's just so much fun to go through that you don't really care so much about the lack of difficulty, and besides I'm usually way too busy trying out all sorts of random things to do to care about solving the puzzles themselves. In some ways the real puzzles are optional and they involve thinking of the most unlikely input to try.

Anyway update incoming, and it'll be the last one in a while due to unforeseen health problems. I'll hopefully be able to pick the LP up again, but if I'm not back in a week and someone feels like continuing, by all means do so. The only reason I'm posting this update is that I already have it all ready and just need to add some commentary.

 

[friartucksduck]

Anyway update incoming, and it'll be the last one in a while due to unforeseen health problems.

Sorry to hear that. Good luck!

 

[Kz3r0]

Anyway update incoming, and it'll be the last one in a while due to unforeseen health problems.

Take care.

 

[Sceptic]

TUESDAY: ERIC FARTS IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION

Welcome to Tuesday, which will be full of yet more parodies and references, including a whole new bunch of Holy Grail references (if you thought you were done with that on Sunday...)

As this is a linear game, you can't go back into the forest.

• >e
  The road back into the enchanted forest is barricaded. There is a some lettering on the barricade that reads, "Road closed for our convenience. Have a nice day. --Torus Dept. of Public Works."

Let's look around a bit before we enter the tavern.

• >Look at the trees
  Like all trees on Torus, they look green and brimming with health.
  
  >Look at the Tavern
  It's a very normal looking tavern, if you can ignore that ugly orange thatch.
  
  >Look at the thatch
  The thatch is a hideous shade of orange.
  
  >Look at the sign
  The sign says, "Howard Johnston's."
  
  >n

Yeah, keymaking and drink-serving combined into a single business does seem a bit... odd. But then everyone in this game is a weirdo.

• >Look at the keys
  There are rows upon rows of keys and key blanks.
  After several moments, the waiter comes and stands in front of you. "Hello," he says. "My name is Bruce and I'll be your waiter today. I'll just give you a moment here to settle in and then I'll be right back to let you look at the menu." He bustles off to wait on another customer.
  
  >Look at Howard Johnston
  He's an intense-looking young man with a thin face and a mop of dark hair. At the moment, his entire attention seems to be focussed on the manual he holds in his hands.
  You catch Bruce's eye from across the room. He nods and waves his menu, but then he gets distracted and moves on to another customer.
  
  >Talk to Howard Johnston

• Bruce pauses briefly on his way to another table. "Everything all right here? Good!" He minces away.

As is starting to become obvious, Bruce will keep forgetting to give you a menu (and you can't order without one) until you do something about it. Also, the pun with the manual's title makes me cringe every time.

• Look at the manual
  You can't read any of it because Howard is holding it. But you can see that the manual is called "Keys to Success."
  Bruce floats by and says, "Have I told you about our specials? Good." He wanders off again.
  
  >Take the manual
  Howard says, "Hands off. It's my ticket to the top."

Unfortunately we can't get it. Fortunately, we don't need it.

• >Look at Bruce
  He's an energetic young man who flits from customer to customer, seemingly unfazed by the fact that he has far more people to take care of than he can manage. He notices you looking at him and he waves a menu at you, as if to say he'll be right over.
  Bruce finally comes and stops in front of you. "Sorry for the delay," he says. "It's a madhouse in here today." He starts to hand you a menu, but just then you hear a rhythmic clapping start up in the kitchen. "My Gods!" squeals Bruce, "I'm on." He snatches back the menu and runs off to join a stream of waiters who are pouring out of the kitchen. They stop in front of another table and sing,
  "Happy, happy birthday
  From Cross Keys Inn to you
  Happy, happy birthday
  May all your dreams come true.
  Y-a-a-a-y!"
  The waiters file out, and Bruce wanders off to serve another customer, forgetting all about you.

Well if it's gonna be like this, we'll ignore Bruce too and just read our morning paper.

• >Look at the newspaper
  [Taking the newspaper first]

This is the Black Knight from the intro scene, if you recall.

Funnily, this isn't a reference but a solution to a later puzzle. The newspaper is sneaky like that.

• The waiter shouts over his shoulder as he carries an order to another customer, "Take your time. I'm in no rush."

Since Bruce is still ignoring us, let's try to talk to him and get him to bring a menu.

• >talk to bruce

• A patron in one of the booths orders a Mead Lite. Someone in the next booth says, "I'll bet he ordered that because it has less taste than regular Mead." "No," says someone else, "He ordered it because it's more filling."
  "Less taste," replies the first.
  "More filling!" insists the second.
  The drink arrives and the customer takes it. "You're both wrong," he says, chewing off the top of the bottle. "I order it because I like the easy-opening bottles."
  He spits out some glass shards and drains the bottle, which then magically disappears. The other customers lapse into an uncomfortable silence.
  Bruce wanders by again and says, "Thank you for waiting. For today's specials we have..." He clears his throat and sings. "Fa-la-la-la-la, Mead Florentine, Mead Florentine, Mead Flo-o-o-o-o-rentine. And Smokey Tra-la-la, Smokey Tra-la-la, yes Smokey Tra-la-la-la Mountain Mead." He finishes with an exaggerated flourish and bows deeply from the waist. Then he says, "I'll be back in a minute to take your order."

JUST GIVE ME A DAMN MENU ALREADY!

Ah well. Let's take it out on Howard instead.

• >kiss howard
  "Oooh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Howard says. "A quick roll in the hay and BOOM, you claim palimony rights to all my franchises. Well forget about it, pal. I wasn't born yesterday."
  You catch the waiter's eye again. He waves, as if to say he'll be right over.
  
  >attack howard
  An icy glare from Howard stops you dead in your tracks. "I have learned how to survive in the corporate jungle," he says. "I can swim with the sharks without being eaten, I know what colour my parachute is, and I not only know where the bodies are buried - I helped put them there. So you can just forget about trying to attack me. I'm simply not interested."
  Bruce stops in front of you and says, "FINALLY. Would you like to see a menu?"
  
  >YES
  You hear a huge crash in the kitchen. "Oops, gotta run." Bruce disappears into the kitchen, and then emerges moments later to serve another customer.
  Bruce pauses as he walks by and says, "Oh by the way, tomorrow night is dragonslayers' night. Anyone who can prove he's killed a dragon gets one free drink for every body part he's missing. The record so far is thirteen. Be sure to drop by." The waiter skips away.

As the great Confucius once said, if you can't get a waiter to serve you, ready a book while you wait.

• >read book
  As you open the book, a coupon flutters out and you grab it in midair. When you return your attention to the book, your eye falls on the lines, "In the great days of Baldur..." You immediately begin to feel sleepy, but you manage to snap the book shut before any serious damage is done.
  Bruce stops and says, "You know, you look awfully familiar. That happens to me sometimes - either someone brand new comes in and I think he's been here all night, or someone's been here a long time, and I think he's just come in. Oh well, it doesn't matter. Just order off the menu and everything will be fine. I'll be right back." He wanders off again.

And I hate you too.

Well... what's this coupon we got here?

• >read coupon
  "Good for 5 free acting lessons with the bard."

Remember Bruce said he wanted to go into the arts. Howard mentioned theatre specifically. You think something from Ponce would get his attention?

• >show book to bruce
  Bruce gasps in astonishment at the magnanimity of your offer. "No," he says. "I'd love to, but I just couldn't do it. Thank you, though."
  A passing customer says, "Is Bruce your waiter? You're lucky. The other guys in here are really slow."

Yeah I don't even want to think about how slow they'd have to be.

• >show coupon to bruce
  Bruce's eyes pop out of his head. He absent-mindedly hands you a menu while he reads the coupon. "I would kiss you," he says, "but this isn't that kind of game." He stuffs the coupon into a private area of his clothing and moves on to help another customer.
  [Your score has just gone up by 5.]

Was that an invitation to kiss him?

• >kiss bruce
  "I can't let you do that," Bruce says. "You'd never respect me in the morning."
  
  >attack bruce
  "I wouldn't do that if I were you," says Bruce. "All bards-in-training know the martial arts in case we get a part in an action saga."

Whatever, WE HAVE A MENU NOW! Remember, Bruce said to stay away from the ones with mead in them!

• >look at menu

Oh. Well, good thing there's the grog down there at the bottom.

• >order grog
  Bruce says, "Certainly." He disappears for a brief second and brings back the drink. Unfortunately, the mug dissolves before you have a chance to drink the contents.

The Secret of Monkey Island sends its best.

Now let's save and get drunk!

• >order mead
  Bruce says, "Certainly." He disappears for a brief second and brings back the drink. You open the bottle and drain it in a single gulp. Moments later, the bottle magically vanishes.
  Wow! That's strong stuff!

After each 2 or 3 drinks you get a different message indicating rising levels of intoxication.

• You begin to feel a little woozy.
  
  You begin to feel very woozy.
  
  Foozy woozy boozle bop.
  
  Frizzle, frozzle, fruz... thud.

Now there is one drink we need to order. The attentive among you will have noticed the little exchange that happened when some guy ordered Mead Lite. That's obviously the one we should get as well.

• >order mead lite
  Bruce says, "Certainly." He disappears for a brief second and brings back the drink.
  [Your score has just gone up by 10.]
  
  >look at bottle
  It's a brown bottle with a sturdy-looking cap.
  
  >open bottle
  You struggle with the recalcitrant cap, but don't seem to get anywhere.
  
  >throw bottle
  A small voice in your head says, "THROW a perfectly good bottle of Mead Lite? You must be out of your mind. Hold on a moment while I look." There is a slight pause, and then the voice continues, "Nope. You're still here in your mind, but I still don't know why you'd want to start tossing around some mead."

Well that's that for now. Though we will be back here later.

• >s
  Bruce floats over and plucks the menu from your grasp. "Can't have our customers walking off with our menus. But if you ever return, I'll be SURE to deliver one to you personally. Bye bye."

• As the cart pulls away, you read a sign on the back that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-PISS-OFF."
  You pull yourself to your feet again.

Our next action should be pretty obvious.

• >call 1-800-PISS-OFF
  You hear a series of far-away clicks, and then an ethereal voice says, "PISS OFF!"

And now let us be off to Monty Python land.

• >w
  You trudge off down the road.

Tons of fun stuff to try here. I also tried to get all the French insults.

• >Look at the Blicester Castle
  The castle has the look of a fortress that has withstood many a
  siege.
  You hear laughter from above. "You cowardly eater of uzzer people's snack foods."
  
  >Look at the wall
  The castle wall is solid and forbidding.
  One of the soldiers laughs, "You kisser of small farm animals."
  
  >Look at the gate
  It's clearly impregnable - although even if it weren't I have no idea how one would go about getting it in a family way. But just imagine if you could! Perhaps there would be lots of little gates clustered around its feet - or maybe just one little two-headed pet door...
  In any event, the gate is definitely closed for business, with an air about it that says it's not interested in your advances, amorous or otherwise.

• One of the soldiers laughs, "Peees off."
  
  >listen to soldiers
  You hear laughter from above. "You are a silly person."
  
  >attack soldiers
  You aren't close enough to the soldiers to do any damage.
  A defender leers down at you. "I relieve myself upon ze friends of your minor dependents."
  
  >kiss soldiers
  "Ooh-la-la! NOW eet is getting interesting!"
  A soldier sneers at you and says, "Droppez-vous dead."
  
  >moon soldiers
  "Zut Alors! Now we have truly 'ave seen ze best side of you!"

:D

• >Look at the battering ram
  It's one of those enormous poles that takes six strong men to carry.
  You hear laughter from above. "I break wind outside ze bedroom window of your sister-in-law."
  
  >Look at the catapult
  It's a classic siege weapon, except that it's pretty old and probably lacks the 'ooomph' to get anything over the wall.
  A defender leers down at you. "You tiny-brained nibbler of uncooked llama parts."
  
  >get in catapult
  You climb into the huge catapult and fire it.
  You've really never lived until you've seen a castle wall approaching your face at a hundred miles an hour.
  WHAM!
  Then again, maybe you have.
  You scrape yourself off the wall and rethink your strategy.
  One of the soldiers leans over the parapet and says, "Your father was ze son of anuzzer man."
  
  >Look at the rabbit
  It's a large, wooden rabbit that looks as if it might be hollow.
  One of the soldiers leans over the parapet and says, "Your muzzer wears ze boots of ze army."
  
  >look in rabbit
  It looks like it could hold about six men, eight if they're Greeks.

Obscure reference, have fun figuring it out.

• You hear laughter from above. "I bare my bottom in your general direction."
  
  >get in rabbit
  You climb inside the rabbit. Then you hear the voice of one of the soldiers on the parapet. "Ooh la la. Ze knight - 'e 'as deesapeared. Where could 'e 'ave gone? Certainement not into ze large RABBIT. Per'aps we should bring ze rabbit inside ze castle? Or per'aps instead we should simply burn it down." You hear the thunk of a fire arrow striking the rabbit. It starts to smoulder, and soon it is aflame. You stumble out coughing just before the whole thing collapses. The soldiers on the parapet laugh at you.
  
  >look at bush
  The roddenberry bush is a big prickly shrubbery that's nestled up against the castle wall. Although it's late in the season, a few clumps of berries still cling to the bush.

Yes, this is a terrible pun.

• >Look at the berries
  The roddenberries are bright blue and about as big as the tip of your finger.
  One of the soldiers leans over the parapet and says, "You bed-wetting swallower of crankcase motor oil."
  
  >take bush
  We tried to get the Knights Who Used To Say Ni to make a cameo in the game simply so you could give them this very nice shrubbery. Their appearance fee was outrageous, however, and we bagged the whole idea.

:D

• >take berries
  You pick the last of the berries off the bush.
  
  >Look at the rungs
  The good news: they lead up. The bad news: there's a pot of flaming pitch at the top.
  
  >Look at the pitch
  The pots of flaming pitch are strategically placed, ready to be dumped on the heads of over-enthusiastic attackers who try to climb the walls.
  A defender leers down at you. "You fight like a cow."

Well, that ladder seems to be the only way forward, so...

• >up

Yeah, I was wondering how a path could be hidden behind a single bush too. In any case that's the way to go, since trying to climb the ladder again won't do much:

• >n
  The soldiers rush to the pot of flaming pitch, intent on aiming better this time. The small voice in your head breathes an exasperated sigh and says, "You'll never get away with it twice. Why don't you just go around?"

Yes, I know, fourth wall.

Anyway, killer turtles! For some fun, we'll keep waiting until they catch up to us (which does take a loooooooong time)

• >Look at the turtles
  The turtles are ferocious looking creatures that strike terror into your heart.
  The turtles take a menacing step towards you.
  
  >Look at the door
  It's locked up as tight as any door you've ever seen in any adventure game.
  The turtles take another step towards you, even more menacing than the first.
  
  The turtles take a brief rest.
  
  The turtles fix you with an icy glare.
  
  The turtles take yet another step toward you.
  
  The turtles seem to be building up a head of steam. They're now even closer to you than they were several moments ago.
  
  The relentless march of the nasty killer attack turtles from hell continues.
  
  Soon, very soon the attack turtles will be upon you.
  
  The most feared animals in the universe draw ever closer. The fierce gleam in their eyes says that they regard you as just a pile of turtle chow.
  
  This is your last chance to escape with your life.
  
  Well, almost your last chance. But they're REALLY close now.

Restoring, Eric ponders his options.

• >jump over turtles
  The Michael Jordon of the testudinal world leaps up and barely misses taking a bite out of your backside. You retreat and rethink your strategy.

Whatever shall Eric do to overcome these tortoises?

Wait... did you just say tortoise?

• >throw tort-ease at turtles

Now let's look around and find a way through this door.

• >look through lock
  You press your eyeball up against the keyhole. If this were one of the Spellcasting games, you'd see something really interesting. As it is, however, all you see inside is darkness.
  
  >Look at the proclamation
  It's a bronze plaque that reads:
  "Hear ye, Hear ye!
  Be it known to one and all
  That this key unlocks the door
  To the inner tower of Blicester Castle."
  Attached to the bottom of the proclamation is a wax seal.
  
  >Look at the seal
  It's a fancy wax seal that's been affixed to the proclamation.
  
  >Look at the rusty key
  It's a rusty key that hangs from a chain on the wall.
  
  >Take the rusty key
  You tug on the key, but it's holding on to the chain tighter than a two-year-old clings to its mother during the Fourth of July fireworks.
  
  >Look at the chain
  It's a well-wrought chain that's securely fastened to the tower wall.
  
  >Take the chain
  When the final trumpet sounds and all the walls in the world come tumbling to the ground, THEN you will be able to take this chain. But even then you'll need special tools that can only be found hanging around the waist of people who charge more by the hour than you make in a week.

This is the game's subtle way to tell you that you will NOT be taking this key. Since it opens this door though, and we do want to go through, this means finding some other way. Well the seal's made of wax, and Howard makes keys... how about we take a wax imprint to him?

• >Take the seal
  The wax has hardened onto the bronze. It doesn't seem to want to come off.

Of course we're going to have to melt the wax first.

• >e

• >Look at the cart
  It's the same cart that almost ran you over earlier. It is loaded with kindling, including a branch you recognize from the enchanted forest, and it still has the 'CALL 1-800-PISS-OFF' message on the back.
  
  >Look at the oaf
  The oaf has two heads that emerge from a single massive body. One head is named Jake, the other is Elrod.
  
  >Talk to the oaf

This almost convinces me that one of the heads is phelot the above and the other is Crispy.

Unfortunately, you cannot get your revenge on the two-headed guy.

• >attack oaf
  Only in your dreams would you be capable of inflicting any damage on the oaf.
  
  >kiss elrod
  This raises an interesting technical question. Would that be a menage a trois - or just an extremely crowded menage a deux?

• >take branch
  The oaf slaps your hand away and Jake's head says, "Naughty naughty. Musn't touch."

Well we really need that branch, but we need to distract the oaf first. Remember what we got in the tavern that made two people start arguing endlessly?

• >give mead to oaf
  You give the Mead Lite to the oaf. Jake takes a long pull, followed by Elrod. Jake says, "I love this stuff. It sure has less taste than regular mead." Elrod shakes his head and grunts, "No. Is good because is more filling."
  "Less taste."
  "More filling."
  The heads square off against each other, intent upon their argument.

And there's our chance!

• >take branch
  While their attention is elsewhere, you manage to grab the branch.
  [Your score has just gone up by 5.]
  "Less taste," shouts one of the heads.
  
  >Look at the wheel
  Wheels are always give a very special importance on Torus, because they are shaped like the planet itself. This one, however, has no significance whatsoever.
  "More filling."

What follows is my single favorite moment in the entire game.

• >turn cart wheel
  Overflowing with the sheer joy of existence, you kick up your heels and turn a perfect cartwheel. When you are finished, the game writer rushes in from the wings and awards you the 'Most Unlikely Input of the Game' award.

Bob Bates, you are a writing genius

Now let's go and explore the rest of the castle in our quest to get the door open.

• >w
  Keep
  
  >s

• >jump
  Confucius say, "Man who jump from high places not live long in adventure games." What I want to know is, how did a dead Chinese guy figure that out 2,000 years before the adventure game was invented?
  
  >Look at the pitch
  It's a fiery pot of flaming pitch.

Perfect way to melt this wax, no?

• >put branch in pitch
  You dip the branch into the flaming pitch. It immediately bursts into flame and becomes a quite serviceable torch.
  [Your score has just gone up by 10.]

And now let's do it again for good measure.

• >put branch in pitch
  The torch is already on fire, so that would be redundant, and also unnecessary too. You don't need to do it. It's not essential. There would be no point to it. It wouldn't do you any <SLAP!>...
  Thanks. I guess I was getting carried away. You know, running on too long. Saying too much. Rambling. Talking more than was necessary. Going overboard <SLAP SLAP!!>...
  Thanks. Perhaps I was a bit too enthusiastic there...
  [We now return you to your regularly scheduled game, already in progress.]

Crashing on...

• >n
  Keep
  
  >melt wax with torch
  You hold the torch just under the seal. It begins to soften and then melt in little drops, until all that's left is a soft blob of wax on the ground.
  [Your score has just gone up by 10.]
  
  >Take the blob of wax
  You take the blob of wax.
  
  >press wax on key
  You press the key into the wax, and when you remove it you are left with a perfect impression of it.
  [Your score has just gone up by 5.]

We've got our wax impression! Now let's take it to Howard.

• >s
  Parapet
  
  >s
  Blicester Castle
  
  >e
  Road
  
  >n
  Tavern
  Bruce minces up to you. "A PLEASURE to see you again, sir," he says, handing you a menu.

Both Bruce and Howard now have new dialog.

• >talk to bruce

• >Talk to Howard Johnston

Let's do what we came for.

• >give wax to howard
  "NOW we're talking!" Howard grabs the wax impression and leaps into action. Moments later, he hands you a shiny new key.
  [Your score has just gone up by 5.]

Perfect! Now we can finally go open the door!

• >s
  Road
  
  >w
  You trudge off down the road.
  Blicester Castle
  
  >nw
  You follow the path around the side of the castle and back into the keep.
  Keep
  
  >open door with key
  You unlock the door and step inside.

What mysteries await us on the other side?

A game of Jeopardy, apparently...

This one's pretty fun, mainly because the answers are neatly divided into 3 groups: those you can figure out from the real world, those you were given hints to either by chatting to people or reading the paper, and those you can only figure out by sheer luck. The latter would be annoying if most weren't as funny.

If you lose, you get to find out why the game is called Wheel of Torture.

If you win, you get the usual indication of a quest completed. Two down, three to go!

Have another ominous meanwhile!

And hurry he did!

 

[RK47]

Lawl. That fucker's scary, man.

 

[Sceptic]

Also, note that this is probably the one and only time in the entire game where we get to see death and destruction following Eric, but it is in fact NOT Eric's fault.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Blister Castle, huh

 

[Erebus]

The others are easy, but I don't get these two.

Hope you get better soon !

 

[friartucksduck]

The others are easy, but I don't get these two.

The first's Industrial Light and Magic, the special effects team. The second's Zork.

Loved the Monty Python references.

 

[Yaar Podshipnik]

The others are easy, but I don't get these two.

The first's Industrial Light and Magic, the special effects team. The second's Zork.

Loved the Monty Python references.

ILM is George Lucas company so it may be a stab at Lucasarts.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Anyway update incoming, and it'll be the last one in a while due to unforeseen health problems.

Ouch, that's terrible. Hope you recover soon!

"I would kiss you," he says, "but this isn't that kind of game."

Bruce says, "Certainly." He disappears for a brief second and brings back the drink. Unfortunately, the mug dissolves before you have a chance to drink the contents.

"Droppez-vous dead."

And the killer turtles were hilarious, too.

It looks like it could hold about six men, eight if they're Greeks.

I dunno, a Trojan rabbit? The Trojan horse could accommodate 30 Greeks, though, so I'm not sure.

 

[Yaar Podshipnik]

It looks like it could hold about six men, eight if they're Greeks.

I dunno, a Trojan rabbit? The Trojan horse could accommodate 30 Greeks, though, so I'm not sure.

This could be poking fun at the Greeks being gigantic fagots and not minding the sticking out bits of other Greeks in their assess. Hence you can pack them more tightly.

 

[random_encounter]

Anyway update incoming, and it'll be the last one in a while due to unforeseen health problems. I'll hopefully be able to pick the LP up again, but if I'm not back in a week and someone feels like continuing, by all means do so. The only reason I'm posting this update is that I already have it all ready and just need to add some commentary.

Take care, Sceptic.

This could be poking fun at the Greeks being gigantic fagots and not minding the sticking out bits of other Greeks in their assess. Hence you can pack them more tightly.

Or it could also be that it's implying that the Greeks have had practice squeezing into wooden statues. Wonder what that statistic would look like in an RPG...SKILL - Trojan Horse Contortionist.

 

[DraQ]

Wow. Legend did do good games once.

The Crowbar of the Apocalypse

When you return your attention to the book, your eye falls on the lines, "In the great days of Baldur..." You immediately begin to feel sleepy, but you manage to snap the book shut before any serious damage is done.

Prophecies?


Both of them.

Anyway update incoming, and it'll be the last one in a while due to unforeseen health problems.

Shit.
Good luck then.

 

[Fowyr]

Looks like very funny game. Thanks, another title to play.

 

[Sceptic]

INTERLUDE: LET'S PLAY WHEEL OF TORTURE!

Sorry to say, this LP is still in suspended animation. I've decided however to post the Wheel of Torture questions and answers, as they're quite entertaining and the whole thing required very little effort on my part. Hope you enjoy it.

As you recall you only get 4 categories at a time, but there are 10 all in all. The 4 you get each time are chosen randomly but the questions are always the same for each category. So here they are, with the answer hidden. Some of them (like the weapon names) you could get from obscure real world knowledege, others (like the Swallow one) appear either in dialog or in the newspaper, but there are several that as far as I know can only be figured out by pure luck.


Weapons Beginning With 'B' for 100 please

Spoiler

2

Weapons beginning with 'B' for 200 please

Spoiler

3

Weapons beginning with 'B' for 300 please

Spoiler

1

Weapons beginning with 'B' for 400 please

Spoiler

2

More Weapons Beginning With 'B' for 100 please

Spoiler

1

More Weapons Beginning With 'B' for 200 please

Spoiler

3

More Weapons Beginning With 'B' for 300 please

Spoiler

2

More Weapons Beginning With 'B' for 400 please

Spoiler

3

Mythology for 100 please

Spoiler

2

Mythology for 200 please

Spoiler

2

Mythology for 300 please

Spoiler

3

Mythology for 400 please

Spoiler

3

Potpourri for 100 please

Spoiler

3

Potpourri for 200 please

Spoiler

2

Potpourri for 300 please

Spoiler

3

Potpourri for 400 please

Spoiler

1

Famous Sayings of Bjorn the Berserker for 100 please

Spoiler

3

Famous Sayings of Bjorn the Berserker for 200 please

Spoiler

3

Famous Sayings of Bjorn the Berserker for 300 please

Spoiler

3

Famous Sayings of Bjorn the Berserker for 400 please

Spoiler

3

Geography for 100 please

Spoiler

1

Geography for 200 please

Spoiler

1

Geography for 300 please

Spoiler

3

Geography for 400 please

Spoiler

3

Religion for 100 please

Spoiler

1

Religion for 200 please

Spoiler

3

Religion for 300 please

Spoiler

1

Religion for 400 please

Spoiler

3

Legal for 100 please

Spoiler

2

Legal for 200 please

Spoiler

3

Legal for 300 please

Spoiler

2

Legal for 400 please

Spoiler

1

Places to Avoid for 100 please

Spoiler

2

Places to Avoid for 100 please

Spoiler

1

Places to Avoid for 100 please

Spoiler

3

Places to Avoid for 100 please

Spoiler

1

Military for 100 please

Spoiler

3

Military for 200 please

Spoiler

1

Military for 300 please

Spoiler

1

Military for 400 please

Spoiler

3

 

[Darth Roxor]

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

 

[friartucksduck]

Re: Interlude

Spoiler

1

Excellent.

 

[Coyote]

I was hoping you would show these.

Spoiler

3

 

[Sceptic]

This could be poking fun at the Greeks being gigantic fagots and not minding the sticking out bits of other Greeks in their assess. Hence you can pack them more tightly.

Or it could also be that it's implying that the Greeks have had practice squeezing into wooden statues. Wonder what that statistic would look like in an RPG...SKILL - Trojan Horse Contortionist.

I initially thought it was the phalanx formation (usually six men deep, except in Greece, where it was eight) but I could be reading too much into a simpler joke.

Wow. Legend did do good games once.

Yep. I think you now understand my dismay at them moving into shitty FPS land. These guys did SUCH good stuff... ending their long run of awesomeoness with Unreal 2? What a shame. What a waste of what used to be some of the best talent in the industry.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Fine. Happy now?