Review Orrery (Oblivion's add-on) review at ESF

[Vault Dweller]

Tags: Bethesda Softworks

One gentleman has made a mistake of purchasing one of the Oblivion's add-ons and his sad tale, creatively called <a href=http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=412123&hl=>The Orrery: a failure of EPIC proportion</a>, should be a lesson to us all. Being aware of Bethesda's high ethical standards, I shall post the opinion in full before it gets deleted:
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<blockquote>Thats it. I've had it with Bethesda and their crappy "official" mods. I'm never getting another one again. Even though it was almost nothing, it was still not worth it at all. This mod is so bad, so unpolished, it doesn't even deserve to be called official. The damn thing was over before it even started, too.
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The mod debuts in the same way that the last one did. You, for some reason, find a piece of paper lying on the ground, that explains what the quest is about. I was in a realm of Oblivion when I found this piece of paper. Wow, how realistic. I guess that someone from the Mages Guild went to this realm and accidently droped their note before they were about to take a Sigil stone out of its socket, to close the gate. Oookay... whatever. Maybe someone purposely left the note for me, there in front of the Sigil stone, in the realm, knowing that I would go there and pick it up. Talk about immersion!
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There is no actual piece of paper that you find, either. It's just a message in the middle of the screen telling you about this stupid quest. I thought to myself, maybe it is a "Mission Impossible" type thing, you know, the ones that self-destruct after 10 seconds? Meh... it didn't really matter THAT much to me. Why the hell didn't the quest giver just give me the paper the next time he saw me? Why did he have to look into his crystal ball, find out where I was going to be, then strategically place the note in a place I would find it immediately? So, as soon as I click "OK", the quest starts right there on the spot. I didn't even agree to do the quest. WTF? What if I don't want to help this nerd repair his stupid "Orrery"? These are all questions I would ask myself during this lame quest. Now apparantly, some bandits stole parts off of his machine, ran to the other side of the world, and are just hanging out with each other. Why exactly would anyone do this? What makes these parts, which have a value of 5 gold each, so desirable to some bandits in the forest? I don't think anyone knows.
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The quest conviently places 5 markers on your map, so you know exactly where the bandits are. If the quest guy knew this, he should have just gone out to get the damn parts himself! So much for being a powerful wizard who can harness the power of the moon. So I just fast travel to the three bandit camps kill the bandits to get their machine parts, and glass armor with crappy bonuses to sell. Finished 90% of the quest in 5 minutes. So now it says I have all of the parts. It now puts a map marker on my map to go to the Arcane University. Apparantly, that is where this note came from. My guy must be a lucky guesser of where to go, because it didn't say anything about the Arcane University in my note.
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I fast travel to the Arcane University, I walk in, and then my compass marker tells me to talk to a wood elf sitting on a bench. Another lucky guess! Good thing I put those extra points into luck... it really paid off. The Wood elf says "Thanks, you got me everything I needed. Here is your reward." Strange. I remember hearing this exact same line somewhere. OH! That's right! A Fighters Guild quest NPC said the exact same thing when I gave her 5 ectoplasms. Hey, wait a minute, where the hell is my reward? GET BACK HERE, STUPID [censored]! She walks into a locked door in the University, completely forgetting to give me my reward. WTF? By this time, I am royally pissed. The compass marker says to go through the locked door, but I can't get in! I try talking to some of the other mages in the guild, but they don't say a thing about it. Then I remember about my journal. It says that I have to wait a day for her to fix her machine. WOW, THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW ABOUT THAT IN ADVANCE! I wait for 24 hours, and then a message comes up on my screen saying that the Orrery is fixed, and that I can get a new power based on the phase of the moon, as often as I like. Ohhhh! So that's what it does? Another lucky guess, I suppose? So THAT is my reward! Oh well, maybe this whole thing won't be so bad if my reward was cool. So anyway... I walk into the Orrery door. There's this huge machine in the middle of the room. Cool... maybe they *forgot* to add this into the vanilla version of the game? I walk up a set of metal stairs, and talk to the quest giver who's standing next to some sort of console. I talk to the woman again, and she has no chat option about the quest. Maybe she forgot about it? Or maybe Bethesda didn't want to pay another voice actor to give her a unique line. Nice one. So I activate the console, and the machine starts spining around. Nice! A cutscene. It spins around for about 5 minutes, and I am wondering, wow, what a boring cutscene this is! It actually wasn't a cutscene. I can move around. LOL. I activate the console again, and it says at the top of the screen that I earned a new power. I zxcitedly open my spell menu to check it out right away! But to my disappointment, the power was crap. Once a day, I can increase my Personality (the most useless stat in the game) by 10 points for 60 seconds, but at the same decrease my luck by 20 for 60 seconds. Wow, this does absolutely NOTHING for me, but it only hurts me by a lot! I could have made a stupid "Fortify Personality by 10" spell for about 50 gold, costing about 20 magicka. How disappointing.
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A message said that my quest is now over, called me a chump, and thanked me for support of the Bethesda Corporation. Okay, just kidding, that never happened, but that was the way I felt after completing this "mod". Basically, my advice to you is NOT to pay for this [censored]. Just spend your $2 on chocolate bars. There is a special for any five chocolate bars for $2 at my local 7-11. I feel utterly disappointed right now, since I would be much happier with those chocolate bars right now, than with my horrible, poor quality, no-effort, 10 minute quest.</blockquote>As usual, the comments are as entertaining as the review.
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[WouldBeCreator]

There is a special for any five chocolate bars for $2 at my local 7-11. I feel utterly disappointed right now, since I would be much happier with those chocolate bars right now, than with my horrible, poor quality, no-effort, 10 minute quest.

God, I can picture that fat bastard now.

 

[oherror]

thats funny.....whats more funny is that i bought oblivion and still havent played it.

 

[REX]

Lol thats not much of a surprise, considering the mainquests quality and length

 

[HardCode]

That OP posted this last week. As I was reading VD's link, it was like deja vu, but I knew I didn't read it yesterday. The guy posted the same thing a week apart. He's right, though.

Now, which Codexer was it?

 

[Greatatlantic]

Now, which Codexer was it?

No right minded Codexer would ever pay money for an Oblivion mod. Though I get the feeling we might be getting a new member in the coming days... just a hunch.

 

[Licaon_Kter]

@Hardcode: here u go

 

[Lord Chambers]

It's pretty pathetic that this kind of poor analysis is posted on the front page. If the article was a real critique of the Orrey mod, whatever, put it up. But it was just some confused poster who believes the "paper" backdrop of all the quest messages is truley a parcel of paper being delievered to his character. The rest of the "review" is complaining about the quest compass, fast travel.

GET BACK HERE, STUPID [censored]! She walks into a locked door in the University, completely forgetting to give me my reward. WTF? By this time, I am royally pissed. The compass marker says to go through the locked door, but I can't get in! I try talking to some of the other mages in the guild, but they don't say a thing about it. Then I remember about my journal. It says that I have to wait a day for her to fix her machine. WOW, THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW ABOUT THAT IN ADVANCE!

I MEAN SERIOUSLY

 

[Rhombus]

i'm just curious who pays YOU the money to post such huge "reviews" to flame bethesda.
it should be a pretty well calculated new marketing strategy of companies which dont like bethesda - the whole forum is literally filled up with blames and "disappointments".

Yeah, I'm sure everyone who thinks Oblivion sucks are being payed by Blizzard or someone..

Wait..

Where do I sign up, I can diss Oblivion too!

 

[Twinfalls]

Check out this thread at Quartertothree - it's a lengthy argy that starts about the Orrery, but at the point I've linked to features Dumbass Desslock lying about the Codex and giving sloppy head to Bethesda, plus a valiant effort from Dot hero Dhruin, who puts up a nicely articulated summary of his critical observations (why the heck doesn't he do his own counter-Rend review?)....

Unsurprisingly, [RPGcodex] hate it. "Casual action game, not a serious RPG."

Yep, unsurprising. I've been getting e-mail from them, and their criticisms are so ridiculous I may write a column out of them, here's the current list of huge "omissions":

- there's no toilets in Oblivion, unlike a real living world has (uh, number of other RPGs that feature toilets?)
- graphics are very inferior to Morrowind's because this game was made for the xbox (yeah, because the xbox 360 is a real "weak" machine compared to the average PC)
- no umbrellas for NPCs
- no children (yeah, it's a drag that ESRB makes it difficult to have children that can be killed in RPGS, but that's a reality RPG developers have faced for a while - certainly not isolated to Oblivion. See TOEE)
- no teenagers (yes, this gets a separate item)
- no singing
- no birds.

 

[LlamaGod]

hahaha

what the fuck

on a side note, Fallout actually has singing, children, teenages, and toliets. Still no fucking umbrellas or birds, though. Piece of shit.

 

[Section8]

Wow, that thread is really something. Either Desslock is determined to not get called out for any gushing uner the guise of a "review", or he actually believes a whole bunch of shit despite ample facts to the contrary.

 

[Vault Dweller]

Unsurprisingly, [RPGcodex] hate it. "Casual action game, not a serious RPG."

Yep, unsurprising. I've been getting e-mail from them, and their criticisms are so ridiculous I may write a column out of them, here's the current list of huge "omissions":

- there's no toilets in Oblivion, unlike a real living world has (uh, number of other RPGs that feature toilets?)
- graphics are very inferior to Morrowind's because this game was made for the xbox (yeah, because the xbox 360 is a real "weak" machine compared to the average PC)
- no umbrellas for NPCs
- no children (yeah, it's a drag that ESRB makes it difficult to have children that can be killed in RPGS, but that's a reality RPG developers have faced for a while - certainly not isolated to Oblivion. See TOEE)
- no teenagers (yes, this gets a separate item)
- no singing
- no birds.

Wow. I lost all respect for Desslock. Lying cocksucker.

 

[Excrément]

plus a valiant effort from Dot hero Dhruin, who puts up a nicely articulated summary of his critical observations (why the heck doesn't he do his own counter-Rend review?)....

if only Dhruin could just stop saying "mainstream" every ten words, he may could do a good review.

 

[Twinfalls]

What the fuck? Point me to where he does that.

 

[Excrément]

What the fuck? Point me to where he does that.

http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk/showthread.php?t=25700&page=12

I think the article best fits as an editorial rather than a review but it's not intended for a mainstream audience and hits the mark across almost every point, unlike the drooling praise of almost every other review.

Well, then I guess I like drooling piss. I'm not saying it was great as a review but he had some good points that essentially noone in the mainstream press bothered to raise.

http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk/showthread.php?t=25700&page=14

I should moderate my previous comments about the mainstream press by saying I re-read several major reviews and some of them actually did raise some of my concerns but every one of them then proceeded to ignore all of them.

 

[Twinfalls]

Right. So he uses the word twice - perfectly legitimately (and not once in the actual critique to which I referred - see below), then a third time - only as a specific reference to when he used it before.

In other words, you're a dumb shit.

Greg Kasavin noted all sorts of issues in his 12-hour play through and then failed to mention any of them in his review. The IGN review was OK and they actually noted some issues but then tossed it out with the score and talking about the wonderful interface (are you kidding me?). 1Up says "All of the unbelievable claims regarding the A.I., quality of presentation, technical power, and scale are delivered in full". Please.

The AI caused as many problems for me as it did cool moments. I've had people point out these complaints aren't part of the "Radiant" bit but I don't see why I should care. Killing a bandit 6 feet from another who is oblivious kills the "immersion". Dark Brotherhood quests that I presume were meant to be tricky were farcical as I killed people in their beds while bunkmates lept out of bed as if delivered an electric shock, then immediately went back to sleep. Others walked over the dead bodies or walked past me as I killed a comrade.

And at the same time, a guard 100m away facing the wrong direction will instantly come running even if I pull off an instant stealth kill.

The character development system has serious flaws and coupled with the ham-fisted scaling is a significant issue both in terms of difficulty problems (high and low) and just plain killing motivation - almost every dungeon is an excercise in boredom because I know it won't be too challenging. Silly situations like winning the Arena at low levels result.

The main quest is dull and a poor choice for a free-roaming RPG.

The persuasion mini-game is awful and completely undermines building a "talky" character, inherent scaling problems aside. That I can ignore the mini-game and bribe a Countess from hating me to loving me with a paltry handful of coins is equally lame.

Most quests doen't have any branching or alternative paths. Bottom line - Bethsoft carefully avoided any consequence to make sure every character could do anything. Playing an idiot beefcake Orcish heavy-fighter? Two minutes practice with the minigames will make sure you can persude anyone or open any lock. That isn't roleplaying. Join any guild you want - heck, we'll even make sure you can become the Archmage without being that good at magic.

There's more but I'm not posting just to tear it apart - I realise any game can be picked apart. I just believe some of these issues should be criticised and would have for most other games. It's a good game with some noticeable flaws but not the coming of the messiah, as it was often treated.

I also realise many of these things are an improvement from Morrowind. So? Why is that the minimum bar?

 

[DarkUnderlord]

But it was just some confused poster who believes the "paper" backdrop of all the quest messages is truley a parcel of paper being delievered to his character.

Uhh.. If it's not a parcel of paper that you find, what is it then? MAGIC MESSAGE FROM TEH GODS!

Unsurprisingly, [RPGcodex] hate it. "Casual action game, not a serious RPG."

Yep, unsurprising. I've been getting e-mail from them

You know, I'd really like to see these e-mails. I wonder who here has been representing the Codex in what seemingly must be official correspondence with him.

"Dear Dresslook,

Oblibion suks coz it has no toilets.

YOurs sincerely MSFD

P.S. I am from teh Codex so bag them. 'k?"

 

[Excrément]

Right. So he uses the word twice - perfectly legitimately (and not once in the actual critique to which I referred - see below), then a third time - only as a specific reference to when he used it before.

Déf : Mainstream is, generally, the common current of thought of the majority.

or senseless word, used by pc nerd in order to think they are unique and more clever than the majority of people to forget their geeky situation.

each time I see someone using this adjective, I am sorry I loose any respect for his post even if I do agree with most of his points.

I agree, I am biased, but I am mad at this adjective which is mostly used by no-life teenagers thinking they are wise. (look at the ESF...).

But I do agree with Dhruin post even if I think he does like the game like me.

 

[Zomg]

How pitiful is it that a mainstream hype victim like Desslock can be brought to apoplexy and hysterical lying by little ol' Codex?

 

[Spazmo]

Why the hell would we bother to email some pissant like Desslock about why we don't like Oblivion? We have news posts and reviews to explain why we don't like Oblivion. Sure, maybe one of our readers decided to email him and somehow this gets attributed to us, but that's horseshit. Well, I think it's only fair that henceforth, whenever some TESF moron comes over here to troll, we assume that it's really Desslock in disguise.

 

[Saint_Proverbius]

Unsurprisingly, [RPGcodex] hate it. "Casual action game, not a serious RPG."

Yep, unsurprising. I've been getting e-mail from them, and their criticisms are so ridiculous I may write a column out of them, here's the current list of huge "omissions":

- there's no toilets in Oblivion, unlike a real living world has (uh, number of other RPGs that feature toilets?)

Since when has having toilets mattered? That sounds like something the NWN roleplayers mod might want, but I could care less if bodily functions are part of any CRPG. I don't even like the idea of dealing with food in a CRPG, let alone dealing with having to race back from a dungeon to the local outhouse to pinch a loaf.

- graphics are very inferior to Morrowind's because this game was made for the xbox (yeah, because the xbox 360 is a real "weak" machine compared to the average PC)

I think the only bitching about the XBox360 thing is the fact they used identical interfaces for both games. I don't see how having an uber limited console interface on a PC game isn't a valid reason to complain about something. I have a mouse with two buttons and a mouse wheel, a 101 key keyboard, and a 19" LCD monitor which displays 1280x1024, so why am I limited to an interface designed for an eight button console controller and TV set?

- no umbrellas for NPCs

I don't even remotely get this one.

- no children (yeah, it's a drag that ESRB makes it difficult to have children that can be killed in RPGS, but that's a reality RPG developers have faced for a while - certainly not isolated to Oblivion. See TOEE)

I haven't seen this complaint on these forums, but since it was brought up... The ESRB doesn't limit anything in game design like adding children. Considering Bethesda is both publisher and developer, they could have put all the children in it they wanted. It's not like Wal-Mart would shy away from selling Oblivion based on an M rating. It was one of the most anticipated CRPGs for a while now, and destined to sell hundreds of thousands of copies. There's no retailer out there that would have neglected to put it on the shelves.

- no teenagers (yes, this gets a separate item)

Why a separate item?

- no singing

Singing might have made taverns more interesting, but I never would have thought about it until I saw it in this thread.

- no birds.

Huh?

Did VD mention any of this in his review? So, why come up with all this inert bullshit rather than addressing the points of the review rather than pulling this shit out of his gigantic ass?

 

[Drakron]

The children is not a ESRB requirement since Fallout 2 certainly had (in fact I think FF X also have children and Fable certaibly have then) then but there are european laws that does not allow the harming of children in RPGs, that is why games that feature children also do not allow attacking non-hostile NPCs.

Some of those complaints (like birds) seen to come NOT from RPG Codex but TES forums thenselves.

 

[Chefe]

there's no toilets in Oblivion, unlike a real living world has

TES Forum - Circa 2005. Spans several threads, including but not limited to things like bathtubs.

RPG Codex - Mentioned in the "Best Thread Ever" thread.

graphics are very inferior to Morrowind's because this game was made for the xbox

TES Forum - Circa 2006. Complaints about dumbing down the graphics to make sure the game didn't look any better on a high end PC than it did on the Xbox360. Morrowind was never mentioned.

RPG Codex - Circa 2006. Complaints about dumbing down the graphics to make sure the game didn't look any better on a high end PC than it did on the Xbox360. Morrowind was never mentioned.

no umbrellas for NPCs

TES Forum - Never mentioned.

RPG Codex - Never mentioned.

no children

TES Forum - Circa 2004 & 2005. Numerous complaints and many threads number in the dozens. "Official" threads spring up and are quickly filled.

RPG Codex - Mentioned in the "Best Thread Ever" thread.

no teenagers

TES Forum - Circa 2005. Complaints about the range of ages your character could have. Light talk about teenagers as NPCs. Talk slowly died out and didn't have the staying power of the children topics.

RPG Codex - Never mentioned.

no singing

TES Forum - Circa 2004 & 2005. Mentioned slighly in relation to bards along with playable musical instruments. Not much airplay. Topics sprang up on several occasions but quickly died down.

RPG Codex - Never mentioned.

no birds.

TES Forum - Circa 2004. Mentioned in relation to environmental "immersion". Circa 2005. Birds were thought to be a given so no discussion was given. Circa 2006. Talk again resumes.

RPG Codex - Never mentioned.

 

[Lumpy]

The piece of paper probably being this:

Excerpt from Official Guild Correspondence, 3E432

Edwinna,
My thanks for the latest trove of information. I understand it is difficult to decipher the glyphs remotely; Arch-Mage Traven has not deemed it necessary for you to make the long trip from Morrowind to visit the Orrery personally. (I know what a hardship that must be for you; your interest in and dedication to Dwemer research has not gone unnoticed at the University.)

From what you have told me, I suspect that not only might it be possible to return the Orrery to a functional state, but we may unlock features that have been hidden to us until now. I have long wondered about the function of the console separate from the primary mechanism; these plans you have sent suggest it might have a significant use. I have seen repeated references to Masser and Secunda, and they are clearly somehow related to this particular section of the Orrery. To what end, I cannot be sure, but I would very much like to find out.

If your excavations continue, I wonder if you might be able to send me some spare parts? The Council has authorized you to send me several cogs, as well as a coherer, cylinder, and one of those fascinating tubes. Formal papers for the shipment should arrive sometime next month (you know how the Council tends to drag its feet, even when it can finally make a decision!)

Thank you again for your assistance with the Orrery. Perhaps someday I'll have the time to visit Ald-ruhn and see these ruins in all their native glory.

-Bothiel

I'm not sure, but I find it to be very likely - it is found in the mod's description here: http://obliviondownloads.com/StoreCatal ... roductId=3

If this is the message that is found, then the so-called reviewer is another one of the "redding is teh hard" audience. He understood it this way: the wizard looks at his crystal ball, and puts a note in front of you asking you to retrieve the components stolen by bandits who are keeping them rather than selling them.
What the mod's story actually is is: Bothiel sends a letter to Edwinna, asking for some Dwemer components needed to repair the orrery. The letter is lost, and the player finds it. He finds the missing parts at several smugglers who were smuggling them to collectors from the Hammerfell Dwemer ruins. Then the player gives the parts to Bothiel.