Review The first idiotic Bloodlines review

[Vault Dweller]

Tags: Troika Games; Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines

A site with a stupid name <a href=http://www.insidepulse.com>Inside Pulse</a> that mostly covers console crap, has posted the first idiotic <a href=http://www.insidepulse.com/article.php?contentid=29484>review</a> of <a href=http://www.vampire-bloodlines.com>Bloodlines</a>, loudly complaining about graphics, low replayability, insufficient addictiveness, and poor originality. The score is <b>5.1</b> because the dumbfuck has invented tons of categories including <i>Miscellaneous: 3.0 </i> to bring the overall score down.
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<blockquote>Replayability
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People may argue that there is a ton of replayability in the game, but I don't have any desire to play it again, so I won't. But there is some amount of replayability I suppose. You can choose from 8 vampire clans, each with different special abilities and each with different ways of getting things done. Despite the different vampire clans, I'm pretty sure there is only one ending. I didn't really want to play again to make sure though. Also, it's rather disappointing that each clan only has a male and female model, and you can't really customize your appearance any. Rating: 5.0
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Originality
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While there aren't that many V:TM video games, there have been plenty of vampire games in general. This is different enough in that it's the first vampire RPG I can remember. And having the V:TM license makes it different enough, but as a whole, this game doesn't have much that makes it completely unique. Rating: 5.0
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Addictiveness
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Ugh, after a while, I simply did not want to play this game anymore. It didn't have any fun, and like I said, the only thing that kept my interest at all was the story and dialogue. I grew attached to a total of one character and liked what he had to say, but other than that, I just wanted it to end. Rating: 2.0</blockquote>
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What a load of crap.
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Edit: Don't forget to check out <a href=http://www.insidepulse.com/article.php?contentid=6400>the FOBOS review</a>:
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<blockquote>Fallout: BoS is the latest game in the series that started in 1997 to critical acclaim. Fallout Tactics followed eventually, garnering the same kind of cult following the original Fallout had.
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And now we have a Brotherhood of Steel. Which follows the Fallout Pattern of changing up the game style with each passing game. The first Fallout was an open ended, very violent game with a funny story and turn based combat. Fallout Tactics was well...it has Tactics in the title. Do you really need me to explain? And now we have BoS, which is a dungeon crawl real time action RPG using the classic Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance engine.
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The game contains a lot of trademark Fallout features, from mature and funny dialogue, to send up's of 50's sci-fi movies. It looks and feels like a Fallout game, but yet it's also obviously a Baldur's Gate game. And I think that's where the little bit of resentment to this game has come from. Fallout fans pissed because it plays different from the original Fallout, which is bloody stupid considering Fallout Tactics played differently from Fallout. And people who are Baldur's Gate: DA fans having a cow because their precious engine following 3rd edition D&D was stripped down for a Fallout game. Which again I feel is stupid. But hey, what else is the Internet for except a place for people with marginal spelling ability and ever worse grammar to post diatribes on games that aren't exactly like they were in their own personal masturbatory fantasies?</blockquote>
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[errorcode]

wow.....

this man must be a genius!!!

 

[Diogo Ribeiro]

I'm betting Exitium feels vindicated for having come up with stillmind as it fits this fellow pretty well.

 

[fizzelopeguss]

This heathen's site looks like ass.

 

[dojoteef]

I am utterly dumbfounded.

 

[suibhne]

This heathen's site looks like ass.

No way - it's hardcore. It's fucking metal, man. You see that badass "pulse" design? Dude, that shit is WACK.

My fave passage:

And it [the Downtown] is a relatively small area, which is understandable, but I feel they could have cordoned off the area more so it didn't feel like it was a small area, but that you were just in a small PART of the whole Downtown. It's hard to explain what I mean.

 

[Volourn]

You are fucking idiots. Yoau re fucking morons. you are fucking pathetic.

A. The site is not a 'console absed site". It's actual main focus is wrestling.

B. While the review is overly harsh; it does praise the story and dialogue for the most part.

C. Though the score is low comapred to other sites. Theya re much more harsh than other sites whne it comes to socres. A 5.1 is basically the same as getting a 6.5 - 7.5 on other sites.

D. If you actually knew anything about the site; you'd know the "Inside Pulse" name actually fits.


You are fucking idiots. You are fucking morons. You are fucking pathetic.



P.S. All that said, I totally diagree with this particualr review. Sof ar, I'd give the game a 7.5 - 8.5 most of the points lost because of the horrible combat.

 

[Whipporowill]

Well, I certainly don't feel like finding out what Inside Pulse, really refers to - but maybe that's just my rectal muscles inherent fear of foreign objects.

 

[Saint_Proverbius]

Wait.. There's lots of vampire games? Other than Bloodrayne and it's sequel, Redemption, and Bloodlines in the last five years what are they again?

 

[Vault Dweller]

Well, I certainly don't feel like finding out what Inside Pulse, really refers to - but maybe that's just my rectal muscles inherent fear of foreign objects.

Killer quote of the day

 

[Whipporowill]

Well, I certainly don't feel like finding out what Inside Pulse, really refers to - but maybe that's just my rectal muscles inherent fear of foreign objects.

Killer quote of the day

Well, I kinda figured it was my turn. It's been a while since my brain gave birth to one of those. Heh.

I still have problems understanding why a wrestling site with a seriously suspicious name would review any game, and more specifically an rpg. Is anyone surprised that our own Vollie-boy is aquainted with the site btw?

 

[Volourn]

"There's lots of vampire games? Other than Bloodrayne and it's sequel, Redemption, and Bloodlines in the last five years what are they again?"

Lots of "vampire" games. BG2, NWN, and the ones you mentioned are just examples of games that use vampires in either as the main focus or as a major component. Having vampires as the focus is NOT original. Period.


"I still have problems understanding why a wrestling site with a seriously suspicious name would review any game, and more specifically an rpg. Is anyone surprised that our own Vollie-boy is aquainted with the site btw?"

Associated? LOL That's an oversatement by far. I read their articles about wrestling and soemtimes movie and game stuff though most games they review I care not for so I skip.

 

[suibhne]

Wait.. There's lots of vampire games? Other than Bloodrayne and it's sequel, Redemption, and Bloodlines in the last five years what are they again?

The Soul Reaver games, maybe? Or maybe this guy's just freebasing.

 

[Vault Dweller]

You are fucking idiots. Yoau re fucking morons. you are fucking pathetic.

Wow, somebody is stressed today. Don't tell me that was your favourite porn site or something

A. The site is not a 'console absed site". It's actual main focus is wrestling.

Who gives a fuck? I said "covers console crap", not a console gaming site. They have literally a truckload of console games reviews, so what seems to be the problem, officer?

B. While the review is overly harsh; it does praise the story and dialogue for the most part.

Once again I must inquire about those who might give a fuck. The story sucks, btw. If you know how to read, please notice how he praises ToEE story.

Next!

 

[Spazmo]

Oh, a pro wrestling fansite is way better than a brutally retarded gaming site.

 

[fizzelopeguss]

And it [the Downtown] is a relatively small area, which is understandable, but I feel they could have cordoned off the area more so it didn't feel like it was a small area, but that you were just in a small PART of the whole Downtown. It's hard to explain what I mean.

I thought his job as a reviewer WAS to explain this kind of thing? :wink: So what's he after, more loading times? longer jogs across the hub?

 

[Dabrinko]

I think the "Addictivity"-score is important to a game. A good game is one you can't stop play.

 

[Volourn]

"Wow, somebody is stressed today. Don't tell me that was your favourite porn site or something"

Nah. It's my overreaction to your overreaction to a review is all.


"Who gives a fuck? I said "covers console crap", not a console gaming site. They have literally a truckload of console games reviews, so what seems to be the problem, officer?"

You made it sound like their main focus is games when it isn't. I pointed out that its a wrestling site first. The other stuff like movies, games, sports, and politics is extra.


"Once again I must inquire about those who might give a fuck. The story sucks, btw. If you know how to read, please notice how he praises ToEE story."

Meh. The story seems to be ok thus far. Not the best EVAR tm.; but not that bad. The story, to me,s eems to be about NWN quality ie. average. The dialogue is better though. As for him liking TOEE; good on him. I don't have to agree with someone to defend his review.

The review is solid whther you like it or not. its well written for the most part, he makes good points, and explains why he likes or dislikes in a meaningful manner.

That's all that matters; not the actual score.

R00fles!

 

[Otaku_Hanzo]

Oh, a pro wrestling fansite is way better than a brutally retarded gaming site.

Heh. Well, that probably also explains the low score. It's hard to imagine some redneck wrestling fanboi really enjoying an RPG. Especially one about vampires.

 

[Volourn]

"Well, that probably also explains the low score. It's hard to imagine some redneck wrestling fanboi really enjoying an RPG. Especially one about vampires."

Why do you lie?

 

[Otaku_Hanzo]

"Well, that probably also explains the low score. It's hard to imagine some redneck wrestling fanboi really enjoying an RPG. Especially one about vampires."

Why do you lie?

How can I be lying when I said it's HARD TO IMAGINE? I think I would know what's hard for me to imagine and not. Kthkbye.

Next. :arrow:

 

[Vault Dweller]

"Wow, somebody is stressed today. Don't tell me that was your favourite porn site or something"

Nah. It's my overreaction to your overreaction to a review is all.

Wasn't the review stupid as advertised?

"Who gives a fuck? I said "covers console crap", not a console gaming site. They have literally a truckload of console games reviews, so what seems to be the problem, officer?"

You made it sound like their main focus is games when it isn't. I pointed out that its a wrestling site first. The other stuff like movies, games, sports, and politics is extra.

How did I make that sound? I said "a site that covers console games", and they do. You assumed the rest, overreacted, and tried to dig your way out. Nice try.

Meh. The story seems to be ok thus far

Where is "thus"? How far into the game are you?

As for him liking TOEE; good on him.

It's not about him liking ToEE, you know very well that I like ToEE a lot myself; it's about him liking ToEE's story (If you are slow today, let me remind you that ToEE didn't have any story whatso-fucking-ever)

The review is solid whther you like it or not. its well written for the most part, he makes good points, and explains why he likes or dislikes in a meaningful manner.

I'm shocked. Tell me honestly, was that your boyfriend who wrote that review?

The review is crap. He didn't like the game, which is fine, but he didn't write a review, he wrote a story about how he didn't like the game, and that's the stupid part. Anyway, some quotes for your pleasure:

1. He didn't pay attention to the game or tried to understand it: "...by the Camarilla, a group that enforces the laws of the Masquerade" There are tons of NPCs who can tell you what the Camarilla is. I guess he didn't ask them.

2. He's a stupid graphics whore: "Having played both this game and Half Life 2, I am pretty disappointed with V:TM" WTF? It's an RPG, idiot.

3. He rates the game based on what it could have been, not what it is: "The graphics aren't bad, but they aren't as good as the engine can produce". Is they aren't bad, why 7? Because HL2 looks better?

4. He's failed to understand the gameplay: "Since you get no experience from combat, it would have been nice if combat were refined in a way so that you could avoid it a majority of the time" You can avoid 80% (at least) of combat by sneaking or talking

5. He's an idiot: "Fighting with ranged weapons is even worse, because it controls exactly like an FPS, except that just because your aiming reticule is dead on target, if your stats are too low, you may miss" Isn't that how it's supposed to work? If your skill is low, you fail a lot? It's a fucking RPG.

6. He's unable to evaluate the game objectively: "People may argue that there is a ton of replayability in the game, but I don't have any desire to play it again, so I won't. But there is some amount of replayability I suppose." So, is there or what? And if there is, why the score is 5?

7. He's stupid: "Despite the different vampire clans, I'm pretty sure there is only one ending. I didn't really want to play again to make sure though" Pretty sure, huh?

8. He's really stupid: "The difficulty is pretty standard at times, and ramps up, but I'm deducting a few points here. First off, there are times when the difficulty is off the scale due to the combat system, because when there are 5 enemies rushing at you, it can be very difficult to not get killed" Yeah, that totally sucks. 5 enemies are more difficult to kill than one. What were they thinking?

Need I continue?

 

[Sol Invictus]

Inside Pulse is a veritable goldmine of comedy reviews, even if none of them were written to be intentionally humorous.

 

[Spazmo]

Heh. Well, that probably also explains the low score. It's hard to imagine some redneck wrestling fanboi really enjoying an RPG. Especially one about vampires.

No, I think Volourn is more or less enjoying Bloodlines so far.

 

[Sol Invictus]

My fave passage:

And it [the Downtown] is a relatively small area, which is understandable, but I feel they could have cordoned off the area more so it didn't feel like it was a small area, but that you were just in a small PART of the whole Downtown. It's hard to explain what I mean.

Well, I know what he means. Downtown feels pretty damn cramped, and it looks to be walled off for some absurd reason. The map designer could have handled it better, perhaps by surrounding the place with a makeshift fence and those CDC guys in the HAZMAT suits.

 

[Sol Invictus]

You know, their FOBOS review might be the dumbest thing I've ever read but they've hit the nail on the head with their Bloodlines review even though the scoring system is definitely bunk, in comparison to other websites.

Here's a snippet I agree with:

Since you get no experience from combat, it would have been nice if combat were refined in a way so that you could avoid it a majority of the time. Sadly, you can neither avoid combat most of the times, and it isn't refined at all. In all honesty, combat in this game is one of the worst I have EVER seen. It is essentially a stat-based click-fest. When attacking with melee weapons, you have to keep clicking clicking clicking. There is a defend button, but it just improves your defense stat, and never even worked for me. Fighting with ranged weapons is even worse, because it controls exactly like an FPS, except that just because your aiming reticule is dead on target, if your stats are too low, you may miss. Also, it makes very little sense to me that you are a vampire with super strength yet it takes you 4 strikes with a katana to kill a regular human. It's just stupid.

Let's add these up: click-fest combat bad combat system tons of enemies in some locations no experience for dealing with enemies = not a fun playing experience. To be honest, there was more than one occasion that I would have gladly stopped the game, uninstalled it, and burned the discs (burn them in a very hot fire, I mean) if it weren't for the story.

I can also agree with the following

The difficulty is pretty standard at times, and ramps up, but I'm deducting a few points here. First off, there are times when the difficulty is off the scale due to the combat system, because when there are 5 enemies rushing at you, it can be very difficult to not get killed. And it seems like their way of making the game more difficult was to add more enemies and make the enemies take more hits to kill. Not only does this make it more difficult in places, it makes it infinitely more frustrating. Were the combat system better, then it may not have been so bad.

As for the Miscellaneous part, it probably shouldn't be a part of the score, but I can certainly agree with what he wrote.

The game uses the Source Engine, which is great. Unfortunately, they didn't use the engine very well. They could have done better. Likewise, the game is by far the buggiest game I've ever played. There is, in fact, one location that I was unable to pass. You're supposed to get on a boat and it loads the next section. But when I got on the boat, the game crashed. And a lot of other people had the same problem. With the graphical and environmental bugs in the game, I have to wonder if anyone even tested the game. Because some of these problems are pretty major.

Yeah, I'd have to call the gamestopping boat bug 'pretty fucking major', too.

I'm just really disappointed. Troika has a lot of good people and they've made some great games in the past, but then this game comes out, and it's just a pile of crap compared to everything else they've done. I still respect them as a company, but not so much. Please prove me wrong Troika. Release a post-apocalyptic RPG that will kick Fallout 3 in the teeth, and make it awesome. I know you can.

See? He's a Fallout fan, and probably not the guy who wrote the shitty FOBOS review.

It is however a pretty shitty review overall for all the reasons that VD highlighted.

 

[Briosafreak]

My fave passage:

And it [the Downtown] is a relatively small area, which is understandable, but I feel they could have cordoned off the area more so it didn't feel like it was a small area, but that you were just in a small PART of the whole Downtown. It's hard to explain what I mean.

Brilliant stuff, i couldn`t stop staring in desbelief at that ,er, sentence maybe?...

Comedy gold