Vault Dweller
Commissar, Red Star Studio
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
- Messages
- 28,045
Tags: Obsidian Entertainment; Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords
Another moron who thinks that <a href=http://www.kotor2.com>KOTOR 2</a> is turn-based. The moron is Chief Editor of <a href=http://www.gameindustry.com>Game Industry News</a> and here is the <a href=http://www.gameindustry.com/review/item.asp?id=516>review</a> that scored 5 out of 5 idiotic gems in every possible category but gameplay. Obviously, good audio is more important than gameplay, so the final score is 5/5 plus a complimentary blowjob to Lucas Arts.
<br>
<br>
Most reviews are very predictable. For example, every KOTOR 2 review must mention Teh Twist (TM) of the original. Let's see:<blockquote>The original title featured a deep plot with an amazing twist that would have made Alfred Hitchcock proud</blockquote>Yep, the only plot that was deeper started with: "The President has been kindapped by ninjas. Are you bad enough dude to rescue the President?" Then there should be some description of how nervous/concerned/upset the reviewer was about Obsidian's involvement:<blockquote>As with all sequels, I was very nervous about this one. How many times have we been treated to an amazing first game, only to be let down by the follow-up game? Thankfully, that won’t happen here.</blockquote>
<br>
A good review must avoid actually reviewing the game and should mostly focus on retelling the background story:<blockquote>You however, are an exiled jedi who has lost their connection to the force after being expelled from the order for fighting alongside of Reven (the dark lord from the first game and a major player in the surprise ending). You fought with Reven before he became the dark lord of course, but the council is not very forgiving with you and you are exiled anyway ...</blockquote>
<br>
Some random crap like:<blockquote>One interesting thing about the game this time around is that not all your allies seem to be working in your best interest. .. Plus, many don’t trust the others and will advise you not to work with them. Your ship becomes a floating soap opera at times, which is great in a role-playing game.</blockquote>
<br>
No KOTOR 2 review is complete without an interesting theory on the combat:
<br>
<blockquote>Though it appears to be a real-time combat, it’s actually a cleverly disguised turn-based battle</blockquote>The search for a clue continues!
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Another moron who thinks that <a href=http://www.kotor2.com>KOTOR 2</a> is turn-based. The moron is Chief Editor of <a href=http://www.gameindustry.com>Game Industry News</a> and here is the <a href=http://www.gameindustry.com/review/item.asp?id=516>review</a> that scored 5 out of 5 idiotic gems in every possible category but gameplay. Obviously, good audio is more important than gameplay, so the final score is 5/5 plus a complimentary blowjob to Lucas Arts.
<br>
<br>
Most reviews are very predictable. For example, every KOTOR 2 review must mention Teh Twist (TM) of the original. Let's see:<blockquote>The original title featured a deep plot with an amazing twist that would have made Alfred Hitchcock proud</blockquote>Yep, the only plot that was deeper started with: "The President has been kindapped by ninjas. Are you bad enough dude to rescue the President?" Then there should be some description of how nervous/concerned/upset the reviewer was about Obsidian's involvement:<blockquote>As with all sequels, I was very nervous about this one. How many times have we been treated to an amazing first game, only to be let down by the follow-up game? Thankfully, that won’t happen here.</blockquote>
<br>
A good review must avoid actually reviewing the game and should mostly focus on retelling the background story:<blockquote>You however, are an exiled jedi who has lost their connection to the force after being expelled from the order for fighting alongside of Reven (the dark lord from the first game and a major player in the surprise ending). You fought with Reven before he became the dark lord of course, but the council is not very forgiving with you and you are exiled anyway ...</blockquote>
<br>
Some random crap like:<blockquote>One interesting thing about the game this time around is that not all your allies seem to be working in your best interest. .. Plus, many don’t trust the others and will advise you not to work with them. Your ship becomes a floating soap opera at times, which is great in a role-playing game.</blockquote>
<br>
No KOTOR 2 review is complete without an interesting theory on the combat:
<br>
<blockquote>Though it appears to be a real-time combat, it’s actually a cleverly disguised turn-based battle</blockquote>The search for a clue continues!
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>