NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[WhiteGuts]

Excuse me, why is there a fucking furry in my video

 

[Unkillable Cat]

Excuse me, why is there a fucking furry in my video

For the same reason there are centipedes in your vagina.

 

[pippin]

Excuse me, why is there a fucking furry in my video

For the same reason there are centipedes in your vagina.

human centipedes?

 

[Matalarata]

Excuse me, why is there a fucking furry in my video

Like in an epic fantasy saga, to solve this conundrum, you'll need to study the dragon's tongue. But be wary of bad dragons! Equipping the ring can help too...

 

[Mr. Pink]

browsing through youtube, stumbled upon this.
wait a minute...
i've seen that opening before...

Spoiler

 

[markec]

 

[Ninja Destroyer]

You reminded me of one of my favourite posts made by our Ukrainian stalker.

MetalCraze said: ↑
Thiaf is a prequel to the series. It teaches us about how Garrett became a thief so we take control of him when he was 14 (hence the game title spelling - to make the game's theme closer to the modern Thief fanbase)

There is an awesome action sequence where Garrett, whose parents were killed by an evil duke for no reason (but Garrett sweared he will get his revenge) has to steal a ring from duke's captain of the guard.

When player faces the captain after following quest compass through 2 branching parallel corridors Garrett demands the ring, but the captain refuses and starts to run away.

Player than presses A when prompted - young Garrett makes a jump to the balcony overhead, pushing away from the balcony, getting his stylish knife out and flying towards the captain.

In a slo mo the captain turns around, gets his sword out and blocks Garrett's attack. This is where player needs to quickly and repeatedly press Y as they struggle to come out of the block.

Eventually young Garrett breaks the block and the prompt to pull left stick clockwise appears. In a similar move Garret drives the knife through the left kidney of the captain, takes the ring off of his finger and disappears into the night, leaving the dying captain in a pool of blood.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: STOLEN THE RING

MetalCraze said: ↑
Yes, in the following mission. For a mysterious reason this ring, which belonged to his father, grants Garrett a complete invisibility when equipped (this is a stealth game after all), but when Garrett needs to attack he becomes visible again and ring needs to recharge (otherwise the game will not be true to original of which devs are great fans).

At this point Garrett begins to realize that he is the Chosen One. As he unlocks powers within himself (RPG elements) he starts to see green cones extending from guards' eyes and starts to feel guards through walls before he even enters the room.

MetalCraze said: ↑
And then Eidos will hire Obsidian to make a true to the original addon!

Thi4f: N4w Ag4. Carrying all the dumbing down from Thiaf plus stuffed with deep and original characters by Avellone!

Just imagine what a massive incline over Thiaf it will be:

The game starts with a main character awakening in a crypt. He is dressed in a checkered pants and a pink trenchcoat. He wears sunglasses - one glass is green the other one is red.
When character walks out of the cave he realizes that this cave is in a middle of a city populated by people dressed in a fullplate armour and thermal visors, carrying massive blasters.
These are the Special Operations Order led by a mysterious Commander Penguin - a blonde dude, with a blue eyeliner, fishnet pants and a short T-shirt barely covering the belly with a large rainbow drawn on it.
Immediately the Main Character realizes that he's hunted by Commander Penguin's right hand - Major Bro. It's a beefy cyan-haired tranny wearing sunglasses in a form of hearts, armored bikini stuffed with flashing neon lights and manly boxer shorts. His main weapon is a twin RPG-7 launcher twice his size.
Major Bro is mute and thus he has to give orders to Omega Protocol of Special Operations Order by blinking with his eyes. Blinking with the left eye means kill the enemy and blinking with the right eye means don't kill the enemy just yet, he has to have a lengthy, 5 to 10 minutes cinematic dialogue with me after which you are to run at him and die.

Truly the genius of Maestro knows no bounds.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

You reminded me of one of my favourite posts made by our Ukrainian stalker.

MetalCraze said: ↑
Thiaf is a prequel to the series. It teaches us about how Garrett became a thief so we take control of him when he was 14 (hence the game title spelling - to make the game's theme closer to the modern Thief fanbase)

There is an awesome action sequence where Garrett, whose parents were killed by an evil duke for no reason (but Garrett sweared he will get his revenge) has to steal a ring from duke's captain of the guard.

When player faces the captain after following quest compass through 2 branching parallel corridors Garrett demands the ring, but the captain refuses and starts to run away.

Player than presses A when prompted - young Garrett makes a jump to the balcony overhead, pushing away from the balcony, getting his stylish knife out and flying towards the captain.

In a slo mo the captain turns around, gets his sword out and blocks Garrett's attack. This is where player needs to quickly and repeatedly press Y as they struggle to come out of the block.

Eventually young Garrett breaks the block and the prompt to pull left stick clockwise appears. In a similar move Garret drives the knife through the left kidney of the captain, takes the ring off of his finger and disappears into the night, leaving the dying captain in a pool of blood.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: STOLEN THE RING

You have NO IDEA how accurate this is. No QTEs, though.

 

[pippin]

I've seen many videos of Thiaf and while I could understand it being a shitty game, it's just poorly made. Cutscenes end suddenly, several audio problems, etc. Hitman Absolution and TR2013 didn't had this sort of crap.

 

[Hirato]

browsing through youtube, stumbled upon this.
wait a minute...
i've seen that opening before...

Spoiler

I'll leave this one here for you: Preacher lady vs Dazzler

 

[pippin]

 

[Unkillable Cat]

This thought crossed my mind the other day: If I were a necromancer with the option of either raising 100 humans or 10 giants as zombies, which would I choose?

*sounds of giant zombies stomping through Manhattan in background*

 

[pippin]

 

[Naveen]

This thought crossed my mind the other day: If I were a necromancer with the option of either raising 100 humans or 10 giants as zombies, which would I choose?

*sounds of giant zombies stomping through Manhattan in background*

You just basically channeled the spirit of Gary Gygax there. From the D&D 1ed Dungeon Master Guide:

 

[CryptRat]

 

[CryptRat]

Spoiler

 

[Zed Duke of Banville]

Reported for brofist harvesting.

Spoiler

and brofisted.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

 

[WhiteGuts]

Those are wonderful. I wish they were HD, especially the one with Okami.

 

[tormund]

You will never ever play 2D Metroid game that looks like that, even though Nintendo could very much make it happen.

Ponder that, and feel free to increase you chosen antidepressant's dose for today by 100%.

 

[PlanHex]

You forgot the link: http://orioto.deviantart.com/gallery/ (Got HD downloads and everything)http://orioto.deviantart.com/gallery/
Use a bunch of this stuff as backgrounds, though been a while since I checked up on it. Lots of new stuff I hadn't seen.

edit:
Like the old version of the Super Metroid scene better http://orioto.deviantart.com/art/Night-Encounter-100678031
Though might just be because I'm more used to it.

 

[Gerrard]

Pretty sure someone has posted these before.

 

[pippin]

You will never ever play 2D Metroid game that looks like that, even though Nintendo could very much make it happen.

Ponder that, and feel free to increase you chosen antidepressant's dose for today by 100%.

You will never play Super Metroid again for the first time. And you will never desperately search for the Nintendo Power issue with the walkthrough with the same childhood rush.

 

[RK47]

I will never play a single metroid.
And I never ever will give a fuck.
Unless a good doujin for it is made.
Too bad it's mostly tentacle porn.
The best one had Mario fucking her in Super Smash or something.
Eat a dick, Samus.

 

[tormund]

You will never ever play 2D Metroid game that looks like that, even though Nintendo could very much make it happen.

Ponder that, and feel free to increase you chosen antidepressant's dose for today by 100%.

You will never play Super Metroid again for the first time. And you will never desperately search for the Nintendo Power issue with the walkthrough with the same childhood rush.

I never even knew about the existence of Nintendo Power until I heard about it via retro gaming vids and articles. Don't think it was ever available around here in any form...