NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[asper]

 

[Jaesun]

Patrolling Gameinformer almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Mass effect's women are ALL sexualized, there's constant fucking ass shots, and the asari ARE a race of strippers and prostitutes.

However, you should not judge sex workers or shame women for how they choose to dress. Except right at this moment, when it's convinient.

They are also a race of warriors, bureaucrats, smugglers, annoying-npcs-who-give-you-fetch-quests and all kinds of other "male" jobs because they are a functional -female-only race. but fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu they also have whores fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu why can't I go to a seedy bar at the rear end of the galaxy and see a hot womani making an honest living as a respected lawyer instead of a poledancer fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu oh shit I need a drink and the barman is an asari fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Actually yes! The Boss is probably the single best female character in videogames. She has her own ideals, doesn't do anything for a dude (even the protagonist, who instead does everything for her), and she's basically a huge badass.

I disagree.

In 1943, The Boss was ordered to infiltrate Los Alamos and assassinate one of the Manhattan Project scientists, John von Neumann, under the belief that he was a Nazi spy, and make it seem like his death was accidental. She proceeded with the mission as planned, though she ended up blowing her cover on the day after learning that she was pregnant by The Sorrow. Though she avoided a bullet aimed for her gut, she recieved a graze to the side of her brain and would enter a coma for three months. After six months, The Boss made a complete recovery, theorizing that her body may have willed her to live for her child. She grew to regret failing the mission, even after it transpired that Neumann being a spy was actually Soviet misinformation to sabotage the Manhattan Project. The Boss felt that his living resulted in the Cold War, which made her partially responsible as well.

During the D-Day landings at Normandy, The Boss and her Cobras were sent on a mission to destroy several V2 rocket installations near Juno beach. It was there that she gave birth to her and The Sorrow's child on the battlefield, going into labor after she had been shot in the gut. The caesarean section required in the chaos left her with a snake-shaped scar on her torso. She gave birth to a baby boy, though he was soon taken away from her by the Philosophers.

In 1947, after the end of the war, The Boss disbanded the Cobra Unit.

You see, the Boss is weak female who risked her life for a baby boy (note, not a baby girl or a baby transgender, but a baby boy). The baby was also her own, which means she was pregnant, which means she let a male introduce his penistrument of opression inside her.

 

[circ]

Wow. She fought in D-Day whilst very much pregnant? Those silly japs.

 

[hoopy]

That fucking slut is an agent of the patriarchy.

Incidentally, MGS is so fucking ridiculous that I can't understand how anyone not in their teens could take it seriously. It's like a parody of a really bad anime.

Meanwhile, the Red Cross is going full derp:

One of the world's largest and most respected humanitarian groups in the world is investigating whether the Geneva and Hague conventions should be applied to the fictional recreation of war in video games.

If they agree those standards should be applied, the International Committee of the Red Cross says they may ask developers to adhere to the rules themselves or "encourage" governments to adopt laws to regulate the video game industry.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Speaking of silly japs

The Boss promotional character image for Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater 3D (English version)

The Boss promotional character image for Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater 3D (Japanese version)

And before you ask no its not sexist her suit is open like that so we can see the scars on her belly that show how strongwilled she is

the sideboobs are a mere coincidence caused by her unwillingness to wear a bra (aka Torture Instrument of Total Submission, aka TITS)

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

I dunno, nothing bad about someone actually listing the player all the treaty violations they just did, and why they're a bad person for it.

 

[Peter]

Patrolling Gameinformer almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.

I did that one

 

[DraQ]

Joshua E. Sawyer

RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN, BRO.

-__-
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

Do you have anything to do with the South Park RPG?

oh
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer ohyesitsthecopz

are you working on or going to be working on the new South Park game?

hmm
JESawyer responded to ohyesitsthecopz, 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

What is your role in the development of the "South Park" RPG?

q_Q
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

So doing anything involved with South-Park? Like an RPG?

urgh
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

Are you involved in the South Park RPG? Say yes cause that would own

hey
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

Are you doing any work on the South Park RPG?

@_@
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

This week on Fearghus said a thing: Is South Park the license that Fearghus said no developer could turn down?

ferg
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

Are you involved in the South Park game?

uh
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

...South Park RPG?

yes yes
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

How many South Park related questions have you been asked thus far?

hmm
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

SOUTH PARK Is The Word

k
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

A South Park game? What the hell are you guys doing? I'm not going to see any of that 'good dialogue and writing' that made you guys famous, am I?

indeed
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

From making Fallout, to making a South Park game. What in the world happened, Obsidian?

yase
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

Who is head of South Park RPG?

ff
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

South Park? Can you confirm that Obsidian is working on South Park? As in the same studio that has produced some of the most well written and executed RPGs I have ever played? ...I think I am going to be sick.

hrm
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

South Park RPG.... Really?

oic
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

So, are you working on this South Park project? Or do you have something else hidden away from the public?

hmm
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

Are you involved in the South Park RPG that was announced today? I'm actually really excited about it.

cool
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

Patrolling Gameinformer almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.

hey
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

Why a South Park game, and not My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? WHY?!

oh
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

Do you have any involvement in Obsidian's upcoming South Park RPG? Are you a fan of the show?

sup
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

Joshua E. Sawyer

south park? god damn it josh

hey
JESawyer responded 11 hours ago

q_Q

Hurgh.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

That fucking slut is an agent of the patriarchy.

Incidentally, MGS is so fucking ridiculous that I can't understand how anyone not in their teens could take it seriously. It's like a parody of a really bad anime.

Meanwhile, the Red Cross is going full derp:

One of the world's largest and most respected humanitarian groups in the world is investigating whether the Geneva and Hague conventions should be applied to the fictional recreation of war in video games.

If they agree those standards should be applied, the International Committee of the Red Cross says they may ask developers to adhere to the rules themselves or "encourage" governments to adopt laws to regulate the video game industry.

Filthy subhumans.

 

[hoopy]

I dunno, nothing bad about someone actually listing the player all the treaty violations they just did, and why they're a bad person for it.

That could be an interesting mechanic, yes. But forcing developers to make their games adhere to Geneva conventions is preposterous.

Somebody should tell the Red Cross to either focus on actual issues or disband (if they have time to worry about the rights of imaginary people, it must mean they no longer have anything useful to do).

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

No, having international law be present could actually improve war games, at least storywise, if used properly. At least it could add some moral and legal questions to things your average military FPS hero of today does.

 

[DraQ]

I dunno, nothing bad about someone actually listing the player all the treaty violations they just did, and why they're a bad person for it.

That could be an interesting mechanic, yes. But forcing developers to make their games adhere to Geneva conventions is preposterous.

Somebody should tell the Red Cross to either focus on actual issues or disband (if they have time to worry about the rights of imaginary people, it must mean they no longer have anything useful to do).

hoopy made a sensible post, codices rejoice!

 

[Clockwork Knight]

thumbs up if you quoted Ed's post to read it!

 

[Clockwork Knight]

thumbs up if you quoted Ed's post to read it!

 

[hoopy]

I pasted it into Notepad.

 

[Excidium]

thumbs up if you quoted Ed's post to read it!

 

[Sceptic]

I pasted it into Notepad.

Avatard pizza guy if you pasted it into Notepad.

 

[Admiral jimbob]

I pasted it into the quick reply box. I am efficiency

 

[hoopy]

Project Skyrim.

 

[Excidium]

Dark Brotherhood kettle.

 

[Admiral jimbob]

 

[DraQ]

Quoting requires less clicks than opening an editor and copypasting, so I clicked quote.
I'm lazy this way.

ou could navigate Vivec pretty easily once you got used to the layout and learned daedric script.

You're crazy, but I love you anyway

But seriously:
Cantons look almost the same but are clearly labelled in daedric script (or, in case of foreign/house cantons, with empire's dragon/house heraldic symbols), so it comes in handy when you want to know where the fuck you are. The only problem is that those signs are soewhat weathered so they may be illegible from distance, but you still won't have to come nearly as close as you'd have to have the game read them for you.

Layout comes in hand when you want to know how to get somewhere else.

I still think that you need an alien mind to properly navigate anywhere in Daggerfall.

Daggerfall cities are remarkably similar to real ones actually (though maybe more like older/European cities than new American ones, which tend to be much more gridlike). There are distinct districts, and once you realize this and pay attention to where things are it becomes relatively easy to notice that all the fancy shops are arranged around the same square as the fancy hotel, with the bank being a couple of blocks away along the main avenue, and all this near the center of town and the Castle if there's one, while the cheaper shops (which give better money for selling) are at the edge of town in a dingy zigzag street. It helps that I always pick a single city as my base so by the time I'm at the endgame I know it inside out.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

No, having international law be present could actually improve war games, at least storywise, if used properly.

They'd have to include ability to commit war crimes in the first place.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Like rape.

Oh, how dreadful.
Say, can you hear that?
It's the sound of the shitstorm...