NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Grim Monk]

http://falloutmods.wikia.com/wiki/Build ... e_Dialogue

Read it, skip to the middle if necessary...

Edit: Fine here's a brief example:

5500}{}{When are we gonna settle down, hon? I want babies. I know, but maybe we can adopt some.}
{5501}{}{Oh please, honey. Your boobs are SO much nicer than my boobs. Well, let's ask that guy over there and see what he thinks.}
{5502}{}{I think I'm getting my period, hon. Do we have any more pads?}
{5503}{}{I wonder how dad's coping? Actually, I don't care. I can't believe he called me a rugmuncher in front of the mayor.}
{5504}{}{Will you do my nails later, sweetheart? You paint those little hearts on so much better than I can.}
{5505}{}{I like the way you did your hair today, babe. You look fucking hot.}
{5506}{}{Do you have any hand lotion, babe?}
{5507}{}{We need a vacaction. When are you going to take me somewhere romantic?}
{5508}{}{I have to go pee, honey.}
{5509}{}{But do we *always* have to be on the go? I mean we never even had a honeymoon!}
{5510}{}{No, honey. I love YOU more.}
{5511}{}{Why are we always moving around? I mean, can't we just find a nice farm somewhere and play house for a while?}
{5512}{}{I don't *care* what some girl in your tribe did, I'm *not* getting my clit pierced.}
{5513}{}{Can't we just forget all this stuff and go cuddle somewhere?}
{5514}{}{I love the way that outfit brings out the color in your eyes, sweetie}
{5515}{}{Damn it, you were *so* checking out that girl's ass. I can't believe you sometimes!}
{5516}{}{Baby *I know* your tribal customs and all, but I'm not gonna walk around topless so every lowlife in the wasteland can stare at my boobs.}
{5517}{}{I shaved my legs for this?}
{5518}{}{I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I regularly get this psychological urge to stand in doorways.
It's not annoying you baby, is it?}
{5519}{}{What was that, dear? Sorry, I was just thinking about how things are back home in Modoc.}
{5520}{}{OWW! DAMN! I just broke a nail.}
{5521}{}{Do you think I look okay in this outfit?}
{5522}{}{When are we gonna settle down, honey?}
{5523}{}{Oh honey, remind me to get some more maxipads next time we find a store.}
{5524}{}{Do you think there's a jewelry store anywhere around here?}
{5525}{}{You look so handsome today, sweetie.}
{5526}{}{Sweetheart, will you rub my neck later? I'm getting stiff.}
{5527}{}{I still can't get over the nerve of that bitch back there. Who did she think she was, checking out my husband's butt like that?}
{5528}{}{Baby, I need some new clothes. This outfit just isn't working for me.}

And that only a little bit.

 

[Rivmusique]

PS:T and Deus Ex are no more “The real thing” than Skyrim is, in fact I would argue the opposite. The idea behind RPGs has always been an attempt to imagine yourself as a different person in a different world and in that way Skyrim is way more successful than either of those games.

I think that anyone who wants stat-heavy games necessarily MUST be looking at things through thick nostalgia-colored glasses. Stats are one (clunky) attempt at forcing indirection between a player and their character. They aren’t a particularly elegant solution to the problem. They’re brute-force.

Therefor I’d argue that RPGs that strip out player-fiddling with stats are actually the more evolved form of the genre

So sick of this shit.

 

[Shadenuat]

Edit: Fine here's a brief example:

Well... it does sound like Miria a bit, no? She was a maniacal horny redneck maid, weren't she?

 

[Teepo]

PS:T and Deus Ex are no more “The real thing” than Skyrim is, in fact I would argue the opposite. The idea behind RPGs has always been an attempt to imagine yourself as a different person in a different world and in that way Skyrim is way more successful than either of those games.

I think that anyone who wants stat-heavy games necessarily MUST be looking at things through thick nostalgia-colored glasses. Stats are one (clunky) attempt at forcing indirection between a player and their character. They aren’t a particularly elegant solution to the problem. They’re brute-force.

Therefor I’d argue that RPGs that strip out player-fiddling with stats are actually the more evolved form of the genre

So sick of this shit.

That might be the most misinformed opinion I've read in recent times. "The idea behind RPG's has always been..." No. No it hasn't.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/951199-s ... c/61432847

What's the point of giving pepole dialogue options if your character never f****ing says what you selected?

A woman betrays you and says that she'll give you tickets to Courescent if you spare her. One of the options to respond to her is "No need"

Now I took this as meaning that I would say I would spare her without her needing to give me the tickets. What did it actually mean? That I would kill her and take the tickets out of her cold, dead fingers.

The complaint is, of course, followed by a dozen responses saying that you don't really need to know what you're saying.

 

[torpid]

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/951199-star-wars-the-old-republic/61432847

What's the point of giving pepole dialogue options if your character never f****ing says what you selected?

A woman betrays you and says that she'll give you tickets to Courescent if you spare her. One of the options to respond to her is "No need"

Now I took this as meaning that I would say I would spare her without her needing to give me the tickets. What did it actually mean? That I would kill her and take the tickets out of her cold, dead fingers.

The complaint is, of course, followed by a dozen responses saying that you don't really need to know what you're saying.

Oh wow the edginess

"No need... BECAUSE YOU'LL BE DEAD"

I sense a disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out YEAAAAHHH and were suddenly silenced.

 

[SCO]

Reading roll (4) :
Roll(d20)-3 (bioware fan):
6-3 = 3 (failure)

 

[Roguey]

Thank you Drew and Bioware. No thanks to Avellone, none at all.

 

[Spectacle]

Thank you Drew and Bioware. No thanks to Avellone, none at all.

I'd say the same, I wouldn't want my name associated with a Bioware product.

 

[Admiral jimbob]

Goddammit why do I feel the need to respond to these RPS people. I've barely even been reading the Codex for weeks.

 

[Surf Solar]

http://falloutmods.wikia.com/wiki/Building_a_Better_Miria_Mod#The_Dialogue

Read it, skip to the middle if necessary...

Edit: Fine here's a brief example:

5500}{}{When are we gonna settle down, hon? I want babies. I know, but maybe we can adopt some.}
{5501}{}{Oh please, honey. Your boobs are SO much nicer than my boobs. Well, let's ask that guy over there and see what he thinks.}
{5502}{}{I think I'm getting my period, hon. Do we have any more pads?}
{5503}{}{I wonder how dad's coping? Actually, I don't care. I can't believe he called me a rugmuncher in front of the mayor.}
{5504}{}{Will you do my nails later, sweetheart? You paint those little hearts on so much better than I can.}
{5505}{}{I like the way you did your hair today, babe. You look fucking hot.}
{5506}{}{Do you have any hand lotion, babe?}
{5507}{}{We need a vacaction. When are you going to take me somewhere romantic?}
{5508}{}{I have to go pee, honey.}
{5509}{}{But do we *always* have to be on the go? I mean we never even had a honeymoon!}
{5510}{}{No, honey. I love YOU more.}
{5511}{}{Why are we always moving around? I mean, can't we just find a nice farm somewhere and play house for a while?}
{5512}{}{I don't *care* what some girl in your tribe did, I'm *not* getting my clit pierced.}
{5513}{}{Can't we just forget all this stuff and go cuddle somewhere?}
{5514}{}{I love the way that outfit brings out the color in your eyes, sweetie}
{5515}{}{Damn it, you were *so* checking out that girl's ass. I can't believe you sometimes!}
{5516}{}{Baby *I know* your tribal customs and all, but I'm not gonna walk around topless so every lowlife in the wasteland can stare at my boobs.}
{5517}{}{I shaved my legs for this?}
{5518}{}{I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I regularly get this psychological urge to stand in doorways.
It's not annoying you baby, is it?}
{5519}{}{What was that, dear? Sorry, I was just thinking about how things are back home in Modoc.}
{5520}{}{OWW! DAMN! I just broke a nail.}
{5521}{}{Do you think I look okay in this outfit?}
{5522}{}{When are we gonna settle down, honey?}
{5523}{}{Oh honey, remind me to get some more maxipads next time we find a store.}
{5524}{}{Do you think there's a jewelry store anywhere around here?}
{5525}{}{You look so handsome today, sweetie.}
{5526}{}{Sweetheart, will you rub my neck later? I'm getting stiff.}
{5527}{}{I still can't get over the nerve of that bitch back there. Who did she think she was, checking out my husband's butt like that?}
{5528}{}{Baby, I need some new clothes. This outfit just isn't working for me.}

And that only a little bit.

Holy shit.

 

[Jaesun]

Clit Piercing.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Yeah, what Miria needs is some serious discourse about the nature of man.

 

[Roguey]

Daaaaaaaaaaaaave!

 

[gromit]

What's the point of giving pepole dialogue options if your character never f****ing says what you selected?

A woman betrays you and says that she'll give you tickets to Courescent if you spare her. One of the options to respond to her is "No need"

Now I took this as meaning that I would say I would spare her without her needing to give me the tickets. What did it actually mean? That I would kill her and take the tickets out of her cold, dead fingers.

When I tried to get through Dragon Age, I did notice they had a bit of a knack for writing sentences whose implied meanings are completely dependent on mindset and tone of voice. At best, it's either stilted or misleading, and at worst, it's jarring. Technically, it's sloppy as hell. The terrible catch is that if you write something like that, it's only better for as long as you are blissfully unaware of the other readings.

Nothing wrong with doing it in the first place, and it gets harder to avoid the more "color" you try to put in their lines, but it's a great example of why you should always, always have someone read stuff over for you. Preferably, as many "someones" as you can find - because their internal monologue is likely not in your voice.

 

[Grim Monk]

Here are more excerpts...

Location Dialogues:

{5622}{}{Where are all the girl ghouls? What kind of sexist town is this, anyway?}
{5623}{}{But their parts are, like, falling off! And they smell so bad! Gross!}
{5624}{}{We shouldn't be down here...}
{5625}{}{For some reason I think they'd look better in red and white jumpsuits. What do you think, honey?}
{5626}{}{Somebody should hose this place down.}
{5627}{}{Is *EVERYTHING* busted here?}
{5628}{}{So this is Vault 13? I was expecting it to be... bigger.}
{5629}{}{So wait, baby, why are we here again?}
{5630}{}{These people must be rich! I've never seen so many big buildings!}
{5631}{}{Oh my gawd, those blue suits are *awful*!}
{5632}{}{So you're related to that giant statue guy? Cool!}

Romance Options:

{11006}{}{Miria wants to be 'on top' this time, and she works you over thoroughly.}
{11007}{}{You spend some time giving your wife what you hope is pretty good oral sex. Judging by the way she moaned and screamed, she thought it was better than just 'pretty good.'}
{11008}{}{Miria spends some time giving you absolutely amazing oral sex.}
{11009}{}{You spend some time alone with your wife, having sex so sizzling it's probably illegal in some areas.}
{11010}{}{You spend some time alone with your wife engaging in sex that's almost embarrasingly hot for two married people.}
{11011}{}{You and your wife go at it like wild animals, and are both left sweaty and exhausted... but very satisfied.}
{11012}{}{You make love to your wife. It's really good, since the two of you are getting pretty experienced at knowing how to please each other.}

{11030}{}{I'm sorry, sweetie, but it's that time of the month for me right now. I'm feeling bloated, my boobs are sore, I have a bad headache, and I just don't think I'd be able to get into it right now even if I was feeling fresh. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be with me anyway while I'm like this.}
{11031}{}{It's that time of the month for me, honey, so we'll have to wait until later. I know how you get, though, so let's find somewhere private and I'll take care of you as best I can.}
{11035}{}{I'm not sure what I was thinking, babe. I've got my period right now, too, so I guess we'll both just save up some lust for later. Let's hit the road.}

Arguments:

{11050}{}{I love you and I'm happy, but I'm worried about you. You... well... you drink an awful lot, honey. It's starting to affect your judgement, and it seems like you're not taking care of yourself. I'd be happier if you tried to spend more time sober.}
{11051}{}{I wish we had more time together. It seems like you're always busy with something else, and then when we do get a break all you want to do is get drunk. I'm worried about you, dear.}
{11052}{}{I see. You criticize my life, you're not happy... but you sure don't mind spending the money I bring in for us, right? Let's talk about something else before I lose my temper.}
{11053}{}{I can't deal with your bullshit right now, Miria. Let's go, before I decide to smack you.}
{11054}{}{What, I'm not good enough for you now? Let's talk about something else before I lose my temper.}

Discussions on Parenthood:

{11340}{}{I miss Modoc, babe, and I think it would be a fine place for us to make our home. We could start our own brahmin farm... all my family and friends are there to help us get started. Plus, it's a peaceful place where we can raise all the babies we're going to have. Oh honey, I want babies so much! We'll think of something... I mean if nothing else, lots of merchants pass through Modoc and I'm sure we can pick a smart, handsome guy from time to time to make you preggers. That would be perfect, because then we'd probably never have to see him again after he left town. What? Well of course you're going to have all our babies, sweetie! I mean I already know the cattle business, so I'll be busy with that and running our farm to support us while you keep our household and be our kids' mom. I think I want you to have six babies, three boys and three girls. Just think how wonderful it will be, babe!}

{11347}{}{I've been thinking lately that maybe we could make a home for ourselves in Redding. I mean, I already know all about the cattle business, so we could start a ranch just outside of town and I could support us while you stay home and raise all the babies we're going to have! I can't wait to have a big family with lots of kids... I'm thinking like seven or eight precious little ones. Well, I mean, I'll be busy with the business, so of course you'll bear all our children. I don't know, maybe I might have one, but I mean... we can't both stay at home nursing babies all day! And with all those strapping young miners drifting in and out of town all the time, it'll be no problem for us to find a guy with decent genes to get you pregnant... like every two years or so... who won't stick around to bother us after he does his part. Don't worry, I've got it all worked out. It'll be wonderful, babe!}

{11348}{}{I want babies, honey, but let's face it... we just don't have what it takes to make that happen on our own. That's why I'm thinking we could move to Vault City. It's safe there, the quality of life inside the walls is the highest in the wasteland, and best of all... we won't need a man to father our children! We can sign up for the pregnancy cycles together and let science do the rest! Wouldn't that be too cool, if we each had a baby at the same time? Even more importantly, our kids will have a peaceful place to grow up and they'll get the best and most modern education available anywhere. All the pieces fit, babe. I think Vault City is the key to our future.}

And that's still only 30% of the total text...

 

[Clockwork Knight]

RK 47's post inspired me.

RARE FOOTAGE OF BLACK CAT MEETING CLOAKED FIGURE AND LYRIC SUITE WHILE HER BOYFRIEND IS IN THE TOILET





edit: Not a thread but I don't care

 

[RK47]

aww man, i read that shit before. that was a little bit too extreme for my taste.

 

[RK47]

"I play female because making your avatar look like yourself in game is stupid. It's a Role playing game, be something you can't be."

tkoizumi 6 hours ago

 

[racofer]

So trannies are just LARPers, is that what his logic says?

 

[Oriebam]

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/s ... ?t=2306796

I really can not understand why this game is so hated, its by far one of the best games in years I loved every minute of it and after playing the pc version I had liked it so much I grabbed a copy for the 360 despite not even owning one yet.

You mean other than the fact that it's a game about how funny sexual torture of women is?

The goodies are at page 5... I don't post in the steamforums so I can't tell her how much that post helped me to decide to buy the game. Can you guys tell her that for me?


http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/s ... ?t=2267179

.... Nevermind, nothing to see here

 

[CappenVarra]

200 pages of bullshit: congrats, i guess?

 

[Clockwork Knight]

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/s ... ?t=2306796

The goodies are at page 5... I don't post in the steamforums so I can't tell her how much that post help

Here's a pro tip for some of the younger guys or any guys for that matter who might think the humor here is funny. Try having some respect and regarding women the way you'd want your mother regarded. You'll get a lot farther being decent.

If you have no children because no one wants to reproduce with you, give life advice to strangers on the internet

This life advice brought to you by: Clockwork Knight

If you like, please Subscribe, Tweet or Like it on CodexBook

 

[Roguey]

Garbage in, garbage out. Half-way joking (but which half?).

 

[Jack]

If you like, please Subscribe, Tweet or Like it on CodexBook

Okay.