Civilization V : THIS! IS!

[RK47]

Arise Spartans! Tis' time to reclaim our glory!

A source of marble to fuel our glory. At the moment, we lack the knowledge to process it.

Our warriors are mighty but lack the necessary weapons of war. A fine bronze plumed helmet and spear shall suffice...

An eastern kingdom made contact this year. They call themselves 'Japanese'. Their battle raiment looks impressive. We shall see if they can match our fine spears.

From the west, a kingdom called 'Russia' arise to meet us. Its queen looks...weak.

The Japanese empire signed a pact of Cooperation with us. Buying us a little bit of favor and time before hostility increases.

To the south hails the Germans. Their ability to tame barbarians are exceptional. We must not let them get too strong.

Our scouting warrior found the city state of Copenhagen to the north. They are weak and alone.

Our scribes completed their research on bronze working. Our metalsmiths will now begin forging our weapons and arms. We will need plenty of gold.

Meaningless treaties are signed in exchange for gold.

Forests are cut down to accelerate the production.

War can't come soon enough.

The tiny state of Lhasa neighbours Copenhagen to the north-west. It is weak militarily compared to Copenhagon and presents an easy opportunity.

Finally we can exploit the marble resources, workers were sent immediately to work on a quarry.

Our excited scouts reported the capital of Russia just to the west of us. A chariot stood guard over it.

Nobunaga is a snake. I wonder if he's also plotting behind me? Whatever. That means he will not get angry if I attack Catherine of Russia.

Two divisions of Hoplites marched forth towards Lhasa, intent in capturing it.

Unsuspecting workers. And no warriors to defend their town. It's finished.

 

[RK47]

The First of Many.

Lhasa fell without a hitch. Despite losing one Hoplite.

Two freshly formed divisons, one purchased by gold, the other produced by the city marched towards Moscow.

The bandit kingdom of Songhai hails us. They bring many gold they've plundered for trade...

And we have just the perfect item for trade.

The city of Lhasa was sold for a princely sum. Its gold spent on more Hoplites.

Moscow beckons.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Whoa whoa whoa. No wonder Skyway hates the game :D

So can you annex these new minors without repercussions?

 

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

Whoa whoa whoa. No wonder Skyway hates the game :D

So can you annex these new minors without repercussions?

The other Civs and City-States will eventually start calling you out about being a conquering douche...but by that point you may be strong enough to just bulldoze whoever complains.

 

[Nickless]

Interesting let's play. Are you planning to have a one city empire? I heard solitary cities can perform much better comparative to Civ 4 against large civilisations.

 

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

Interesting let's play. Are you planning to have a one city empire? I heard solitary cities can perform much better comparative to Civ 4 against large civilisations.

It's actually pretty viable, as long as you make sure to have a decent reserve force in case some Civ unexpectedly declares war with you. Even considering buildings and policies that reduce training/build time, you'll get steamrolled by a multi-city Civ without prep work. Purchasing units on the fly can buy you time, but of course that's going to send you to the poor house quick.

But it's fun to play, and definitely a different game style.

 

[RK47]

You can either tribute gold to get a piece of their resources, but since I'm playing Deity, I really need gold to make a strong start. Taking those state cities allied with other civs will piss them off, but this is pretty early, so they're free game.

Speak for yourself, bitch. Also, we sold our 30 year supply of Marble to a Chinese Empress for more gold.

The battle of Moscow is underway. One unit of Russian warrior is garrisoned within the capital, facing four scores of elite Hoplites.

If you look carefully there's an Oracle under construction just outside the city's southeastern border. Now you'll know when your opponent is building a wonder. And that is why Moscow is lightly defended!

During Russia's turn, the city defenses fired at the southern unit and attacked with its warrior. The hoplite survived, but suffered high casualty. We need to pull it back and recover while the other three get into position to the attack the city directly from the north.

Two more divisions of hoplites are marching from Sparta to Moscow to reinforce the three currently in combat. The captured worker is bring marched back to Sparta to be sold as slaves.

Somewhere in the south, Germans are making expansion plans of their own.

Just as Moscow was about to fall, two Russian chariots arrived to complicate matters, thankfully one reinforcement arrived.

The two war chariots were quickly dispatched. The heavily wounded Hoplite pulled out of city defenses range. The fresh one engage the city once more.

And nobody like Catherine.

It's over. Moscow has fallen. Russia has lost its capital.

The two gem mines outside the city was quickly brought into operation and sold to the highest bidder.

Scribes at home has successfully learned how to plant cash crops. As a result, plans were made to exploit the nearby cotton fields.

 

[RK47]

16 Iron - That means they're going to have swordsmen soon. I have to finish Catherine off ASAP.

 

[Cassidy]

If Paradox also falls into the path of POPAMOLE I'm going to find another hobby.

Sid Meier is officially another Molyfail from now on.

 

[Reject_666_6]

Always bet on Paradox!

 

[Nickless]

I'm interested in what you think constitutes the popamole aspects of Civ 5. The ability to create puppet states is great, and although I haven't played the game yet, I feel that 1 unit per square was a fine decision. Zones of control are back too, are they not?

 

[Brotherman Bill]

Will this be finished as quickly as that mass effect 2 LP you started?

 

[MetalCraze]

I'm interested in what you think constitutes the popamole aspects of Civ 5.

Everything.
No need to manage economics (leave any city be and watch it grow in any case - it was problematic for me to even cause starvation when I specially tried to)
No civil unhappiness per cities (no uprisings yep) which caused you to keep an eye on each city and sacrifice gold income just to please those pricks - now it's some abstract "empire happiness" which just slows down city growth when it goes below 0.
All policies are nothing but unlockable bonuses (+X to stuff)
All city buildings are nothing but buildable bonuses (+X to stuff)
All combat boils down to bigger strength = win (archers can easily beat melee units in defence if melee units have a lesser strength)
No need to think about unit transportation as they can magically turn into ships later on so water becomes just another ground square.
Tech-tree is now smaller.
You can instabuy units the same turn.
And more dumbing down.

So basically every single Civ5 game goes like this - build more bases, gather more resources, build more units, research some techs to make those units better and kill everything that moves.
It's just a turn-based Warcraft clone where conquest is the only point in playing because everything else is just too primitive.

The ability to create puppet states is great

How exactly? It's basically equal to building a mine in some RTS - you don't even have to manage it and it will just generate you resources without any mess. And you can annex it whenever you wish. Vassals from SMAC f.e. were a much more complex deal.

 

[Reject_666_6]

I have to agree with Skyway about everything except combat, which I actually like.

You'd think that all those things are somehow nit-picking, but I've noticed ALL of them and they do add up to a very dumbed-down game.

When I got to being able to build the Forge, it hit me: +25% production... what happened to pollution? Then I went back and re-examined everything in this game and there are no penalties for anything, only +, + and +. What happened to unrest, to fierce culture wars, to famine, to religions, to real navies? Ideologies are the most dumbed-down of all. You'd think that it was a no-brainer that every system of government had its own drawbacks, but noooo, now you get civil policies that work like building a character in Diablo II.



I will give credit where credit is due, however: I absolutely love this game's interface (even though the Civilopedia sucks ass and the lack of info means that there's no way of knowing what the fuck a Pact of Secrecy does exactly) and the strategic view is pure bliss to look at.

 

[Nickless]

Again, I haven't played it, but I like the idea that you can conquer enemy territory without having to 1. to destroy their cities, 2. add their cities to your civilisation, at the expense of less yield and control. Annexing a puppet state should have some consequences however, such as a chance of revolt or "empire unhappiness".

Your points are rather concerning and definitely count against Civ 5, although I do like that it's easier to transport units across sea tiles (representing requisitioned, converted merchant ships). In the earlier games it was annoying having to micromanage transport ships so I can transfer a worker unit between one sea tile. I also like that they seem to have made small civilisations viable, although perhaps they should have gone about it another way. I'd rather focus on improving say, five or seven cities than worry about having to spam cities across a quarter of the world, whose management then soon becomes tedious and dull.

 

[laclongquan]

Dont forget Water Walking.

 

[Brother None]

Yay fun LP!

Boo still not Mass Effect 2 LP!

 

[MetalCraze]

but I like the idea that you can conquer enemy territory without having to 1. to destroy their cities, 2. add their cities to your civilisation, at the expense of less yield and control.

The point is that it's the same as in your point 2 except without those penalties. You still add them to your civilization, there are just no drawbacks to it.

representing requisitioned, converted merchant ships

Oh not this shit again
Yeah there are just hundreds of merchant ships waiting at the coast of each river for you to come and convert them into military transports
Water isn't a natural barrier anymore - it's just another ground tile now. Naval invasions are piss easy now.

Civ3 was the most inclined Civ not counting SMAC of course. It had that charm of naval invasions where you first had to establish the beachhead by sending transports protected by your fleet into the enemy territory and hold it while the rest of units will come. Losing transport with several units was a hit. In Civ5 you just take all your units and swim to the enemy coast (of course enemy won't be able to do anything about such zergrush in the sea due to numbers) - when enemy destroys the boat you just lose a single unit..

 

[Nickless]

It's mostly the micromanagement that comes with moving workers across an archipelago that annoyed me the most about water transportation in previous Civs. Allow workers to move across water tiles (With the limitation that they can't explore water tiles, and cannot disembark on previously unexplored land) and I'd be happy with the previous system.

 

[MetalCraze]

The problem is that Water Walking is applied to everything. And transporting workers is easy too with it. Just too easy. I mean it's the sea out of all things.

Also if they'd allow that in previous Civs it would've created a big disbalance. You could've had tons of improvements on the overseas land right away. Like you just took a single city and already have lots of workers building forts.

 

[Cassidy]

skyway, why do you waste time arguing with people who either were eager to play a Civilization game but thought the previous sequels were too complex and inaccessible for their dumbness or who have consented with playing dumber and dumber sequels of their favorite series? Do you think you can change their opinions?

No, you can't.

 

[Saark]

why do your waste your time trying to argue with skyway?

Good LP so far, looking forward to moar.

 

[RK47]

Turn 52. 1920 BC

With the fall of Russian capital of Moscow, many predicted huge tributes and mercy of the Spartans.

They were wrong. The tribute of iron ores means Russians are ready to equip themselves with swords, capable of fending off our spears with ease. We must finish them off before they achieve critical mass. In a one to one fight, our hoplites will lose out. Numbers are all we have now. So let's keep it that way. St. Petersburg beckons.

Recap: We conquered the city state of Lhasa to the north and sold them off to Songhai. With the gold, we bought ourselves an invasion force to attack Moscow. We recently took Moscow with minimal losses, but down to south, the city state of Cape Town reported that Germans are attacking them. We need to hurry up before we draw too much attention to ourselves.

Also, our glorious battle has birthed us a Great General. His presence alone will inspire our men to give 25% more in battles. Death enemies of Sparta!

The Russian deployed their first swordsman backed with a lone archer, which is out of position and within striking range. The archer is of no concern, the strength 11 swordsman is our biggest problem.

We used Moscow ranged defenses to weaken is slightly before setting up a flanking maneuver.

Begin streamlined, next-gen, deep, tactical maneuver.

Yep, that'll do the trick.

Fucker did survive the attack, just barely. Killed it next turn though.

Then another one came out with another archer.

But this time, we have a great general. Engage skyway-disapprove-deep-streamlined-tacticular-maneuver.

Surrounded and destroyed!

Looks like that's all they got.

Discovery of the wheel will allows us to connect our cities to the capital, therefore gaining revenue from established trade routes. Seeing as how these conquered cities have built roads for us, we'll take their workers captives and finish the job ourselves to Sparta!

Hmm, so where were we...

Last ditch diplomacy? You still have iron? I don't like that....

St. Petersburg was captured and the extra Marble quarry load was sold to the Germans the very next day.

Genoa is Catherine's final stronghold and it fell without challenge.

We also developed new tactics and discipline as a result of our cultural advancement.

(Insert Catherine's Rape Scene here ala Rance)

Genoa was previously a Maritime city state capable of producing lots of food for our capital and other cities when allied. Liberating them has secured their alliance. In the future, when they have sent a workboat, they will be able to provide us with Pearls.

Meanwhile, Cape Town's burning. We've got a city state to save next time! Vs the Germans!

 

[Nickless]

skyway, why do you waste time arguing with people who either were eager to play a Civilization game but thought the previous sequels were too complex and inaccessible for their dumbness or who have consented with playing dumber and dumber sequels of their favorite series? Do you think you can change their opinions?

No, you can't.

Who's he arguing with?

 

[Silellak]

I laughed at this way longer than I should have.

All combat boils down to bigger strength = win (archers can easily beat melee units in defence if melee units have a lesser strength)

I have never seen this happen.

No need to think about unit transportation as they can magically turn into ships later on so water becomes just another ground square.

There is a huge combat penalty for attacking from water. Land units are for the most part defenseless against attack while at sea, so they'll get wiped out by an attack from a unit that's on land, or an actual naval unit. Not really "just another ground square" at all.

Annexing a puppet state should have some consequences however, such as a chance of revolt or "empire unhappiness".

It does. A puppet city generates far less "empire unhappiness" than an annexed city. No chance for revolt though, sadly.

The point is that it's the same as in your point 2 except without those penalties. You still add them to your civilization, there are just no drawbacks to it.

I'd consider not being able to choose what is built (the AI is pretty stupid in that regard) and the inability to buy units or builds in a puppet state as a fairly seriously drawback.

Water isn't a natural barrier anymore - it's just another ground tile now. Naval invasions are piss easy now.

The combat penalty for attacking from water is pretty severe, actually. It's much harder to conquer a city with only 1 or 2 sides bordering land than it is a purely land-locked city.

Who's he arguing with?