This game just keeps on giving. I am almost having more fun laughing at the AI's fuckups and bugs then actually playing it.
This time Pip I. of PortuSpain decided to place a city in between my empire, his settler crawling at least 30 turns up there, despite having HUEG tracts of land right beside his capital on the other side of the continent. In fact I almost came a little seeing all those untapped fertile lands, hills and resources (he didn't even have yet). Why did he settle with me, more important, why didn't ANYONE settle down there yet?
The answer is: settler unit overlay. After buying one FOR SCIENCE, I found out that all that land is grey (lack of fresh water), while 2 tiny spots between my cities are dark green. Prosperland is doing well without fresh water and I didn't even have to build an aqueduct. Why bother prioritzing fresh water if you only have 5 hexes to use? It's a mystery...
And when I quiclkly moved my only pony to occupy the other green spot, there was really a second settler on his way to claim that one too. Now, because I was denying him his city spot he declared war on me.
Why thank you good sir, that was exactly what I was waiting for.
Razed his shitty new city to show him the futility of this endeavour and laid siege to another one, just for good measure (and to check how war weariness would turn out). Since my army of archers had the city surrounded, his approaching units couldn't find a way in, so they... just stayed away. But I let the one unit escorting a settler in, who thought a sieged city is his {{{safe space}}}. What a thoughtful gift, I appreciate it.
After 5 turns of uneventful archer volleys it turns out archers cannot occupy cities. Huh, must be a union regulation thing. Lesson learned, so I spent another 5 turns bringing down captain ponyrider, farming XP by firing on an empty city until then. A thousand men with bows cannot do what 50 men on ponies can. Now I have to check if they can even use the siege tower to bypass walls.
One turn after occupying it, Pip begs for peace, giving me all he has and CEDES this city to me. Another turn later he denounces me for occupying one of his cities....
What is the point of ceding it, when it still counts as his? Great, now I have to keep him alive to see if he can also declare a reconquest on it. FOR SCIENCE.
Because that city is full of heathens, I dumped a shitload of missionaries on it, to convert them to the one true belief (Mormon-Islam: 7 waifus while alive, and 7 new ones in the afterlife). Oddly, the city is still shown as filthy catholic, even tho only one of them remains. Huh...
Meanwhile in the south, Cleo Petra has managed to conquer my favorite city state. It seems they had been at war for over 20 turns, but I didn't notice it thanks to the shitty UI and the units just making a staring contest down there. Just now the snobby beurette found a heart to even enter the premises. I bet she only managed to occupy it, because one unit took an accidental shotcut through the unprotected city hex...
I hope you can liberate city states, because getting a free strategic resource of anything was pretty powerful...
While I was preparing "Operation Greatness Restored", it turns out I lost the ability to create missionaries of the one true faith, despite all my cities being stout believers. Even worse, instead I can now only build the catholic ones in the former portospanish city, even tho only one citizen still follows it.
This is not how religion works, why, why are you doing this to me game?
If I can't fix it by reloading, I have to revert to an old save and burn that motherfucker down, loosing about an hour in the process...
TLDR: Having fun watching the AI doing stupid things.