Conan Exiles - Funcom strikes again

[ArchAngel]

Why would and straight male choose to spend hours upon hours looking at avatar with a cock jumping around?
I would assume every normal straight male would take a female avatar and keep her naked all the time while doing the business around the game world.

Because what kind of utter fagit would you have to be to play in 3rd person? And furthermore, everyone knows women can't be heroes, they're weak and puny.


Haba: yeah that's always the case with these games in their initial releases, and precisely why I didn't buy the game yet. From what I've heard and seen, Funcom has a solid foundation here but it's up to them to show they can actually build on that. And actually manage to add new content into the base game, I bet some marketing dickhead would like nothing more than add those upcoming regions as separate DLCs.

I hope there'll be worthwhile gameplay for solo players as well, MP gets tiresome in these games since most everyone is a complete douchebag and most servers usually devolve into griefing and ganking unless the server admins keep everyone on a tight leash.

I guess Haba is that fagit, he talked about running naked and watching the cock

 

[Turisas]

Actually you were the one who brought it up, I would assume Haba just meant to inspire terror in his awestruck enemies with that dick jewellery.

 

[ArchAngel]

Actually you were the one who brought it up, I would assume Haba just meant to inspire terror in his awestruck enemies with that dick jewellery.

You have reading problems.
I just analyzed his sentence and found him for what he is. Seem you others are coming to his defense... Codex infiltrated by many gays?!

 

[Haba]

I guess Haba is that fagit, he talked about running naked and watching the cock

You don't need to look at the cock, the fact that the cock is there is enough. Proudly strutting your manhood is a great way to intimidate lesser men.

Just look at you, the mere idea of someone running around with their freely flopping horsecock slapping against their muscular calves is enough to make you question your sexuality!

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Frankly it needs a lot more content to be worthwhile.

I'm having fun derping around in a private 1-player server, living out my fantasies of being an oppressive CIS-het rapelord, but I wouldn't try this on a live server yet.

On "singleplayer" I took over one of the ruins and built a sky fortress there, but the effort involved (without admin cheats) would be absolutely gargantuan. Not to mention the fact that I had to build supports to replace the bridge, which would be instantly bashed by some asshole, ruing hours of work.

But there is something oddly appealing about running around naked and fighting naked primitives with stone weapons. The game needs more clothing options that leave our manhood exposed in all of it's glory. And dick jewellery. And horsecock DLC.

Why would and straight male choose to spend hours upon hours looking at avatar with a cock jumping around?
I would assume every normal straight male would take a female avatar and keep her naked all the time while doing the business around the game world.

Because Honour. Women only have the other honour.

 

[ArchAngel]

I guess Haba is that fagit, he talked about running naked and watching the cock

You don't need to look at the cock, the fact that the cock is there is enough. Proudly strutting your manhood is a great way to intimidate lesser men.

Just look at you, the mere idea of someone running around with their freely flopping horsecock slapping against their muscular calves is enough to make you question your sexuality!

Coming from a guy that like to watch cocks. Come on, your secret it out, you don't need to hide anymore

 

[thesheeep]

ArchAngel loves Haba.
ArchAngel loves Haba.
ArchAngel loves Haba.
ArchAngel loves Haba.

Take a room already, you two.

 

[Haba]

So...

After I painstakingly had turned the prettiest "entertainer" girl into my thrall, I log in and visit my throne room to see this..

Spoiler

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCOOOOOOOOOM!

Also, special photo, only for ArchAngel

Spoiler

 

[ortucis]

Weird that Steam showed me like 4 GB download size and when the download started, 17 GB... which is a good thing I guess.

Anyways, bought this mostly cause Funcom guys said there would be singleplayer (and there is), which is what I'm interested in. I wonder how long it'll remain in EA though, game looks very unfinished from the YouTube videos.

 

[Russia is over. The end.]

I wonder how long it'll remain in EA though

It says "a year" on the steam page if you know how to read.

 

[ortucis]

I wonder how long it'll remain in EA though

It says "a year" on the steam page if you know how to read.

And if you weren't a twat, you'd know that just cause they said a year, doesn't mean it'll be the final release.

 

[Excidium II]

The single player sucks though, there's nothing to do.

 

[Musaab]

I think it's fun, but they got a lot of work to do. The good thing is they are releasing a patch everyday so far so at least they haven't run away yet.

 

[Musaab]

It's not really a single player game even though they threw that on there.

 

[ortucis]

It's not really a single player game even though they threw that on there.

If you enjoy playing solo, every game is a SP game. Like I solo (most of the time..) Guild Wars 2.

Besides, from what I've seen on YT, game can be played as a SP easily, especially if you enjoy building and don't mind a bit of grind.

 

[Excidium II]

I think it's a bug but a lot of adjustment options are missing from single player option. Can't change damage/health/durability multipliers for example. Shields break in one hit from anything.

Makes it painful to progress to iron gear because it's in areas filled with very tough monsters that clearly weren't balanced for solo.

 

[Drakron]

I am confused, is this a dongs simulator?

 

[Immortal]

Hey bylam

You guys rely way too heavily on client side authority. I know you all said "Battle Eye" (Which is Cancer) then thought you could close the books but there is some serious issues architecturally..

For example:

Character creation, I can modify those slider values to whatever I want using something as silly as a Memory Editor. As a test I hosted a local server with battle eye disabled and used cheat engine (highly detectable but keep reading) and made my dick 8 feet long. I also was able to define my size and any other morphs I wanted to.. Interestingly my dick actually had collision which made me stuck in the ground.

Now who cares, Battle Eye will catch that - but your company disabled battle eye on official servers before you kicked PingPerfect to the curb.

Now in theory one of your servers has this giant dicked monster sitting in a database waiting to be migrated to a battle eye protected server when you guys get around to finding a hosting company.

Will you retroactively ban people? or go through and purge all invalid entries? (Dick Morph Values are between 0.5 and 2.5 I think roughly)
What if instead I morphed my character to 0.0001 size ? Do you use capsule collision or would I be unhittable?

(I personally did not do this on an official server but this wasn't hard to figure out - I bet someone did)

There is a wide array of things like this.. like when you login and the world doesn't load immediately allowing you to walk through walls before the colliders stream in or just de-syncing capabilities in general. All requiring no process hooking or packet shaping or anything that would trigger Battle Eye.. Unless of course Battle Eye just starts banning innocent players once a Bypass is found..

Considering your game has no guns, you could of really just invested 20 minutes into making a more authoritative server and not spent a bunch of money on a poorly made cheat detection software that bloats your servers and kills performance.

Aimbots are really the only useful cheat assuming your server side is up to snuff.

All that said - good luck and I hope this game is successful for you guys.

 

[Spectacle]

I think it's a bug but a lot of adjustment options are missing from single player option. Can't change damage/health/durability multipliers for example. Shields break in one hit from anything.

Makes it painful to progress to iron gear because it's in areas filled with very tough monsters that clearly weren't balanced for solo.

Pretty sure this stuff used to be there in the SP setting, but vanished after one of the patches. Typical Scandinavian engineering.

 

[Hobo Elf]

Gear durability is just abysmal and needs to be changed. I cheated the best items via admin tools and they disintigrate too fast as well. Keeping yourself fed and hydrated isn't particularly exciting either since it doesn't really entail doing anything interesting (growing your own animals, setting up buckets to collect rain water). It's incredibly easy to keep yourself satisfied, but it is something you need to do on occasion. It feels more like a tacked on feature and only serves to add one more layer of banal grindy upkeep you have to keep doing on top of repairing your gear constantly.

 

[Kane]

Hey bylam

You guys rely way too heavily on client side authority. I know you all said "Battle Eye" (Which is Cancer) then thought you could close the books but there is some serious issues architecturally..

For example:

Character creation, I can modify those slider values to whatever I want using something as silly as a Memory Editor. As a test I hosted a local server with battle eye disabled and used cheat engine (highly detectable but keep reading) and made my dick 8 feet long. I also was able to define my size and any other morphs I wanted to.. Interestingly my dick actually had collision which made me stuck in the ground.

Now who cares, Battle Eye will catch that - but your company disabled battle eye on official servers before you kicked PingPerfect to the curb.

Now in theory one of your servers has this giant dicked monster sitting in a database waiting to be migrated to a battle eye protected server when you guys get around to finding a hosting company.

Will you retroactively ban people? or go through and purge all invalid entries? (Dick Morph Values are between 0.5 and 2.5 I think roughly)
What if instead I morphed my character to 0.0001 size ? Do you use capsule collision or would I be unhittable?

(I personally did not do this on an official server but this wasn't hard to figure out - I bet someone did)

There is a wide array of things like this.. like when you login and the world doesn't load immediately allowing you to walk through walls before the colliders stream in or just de-syncing capabilities in general. All requiring no process hooking or packet shaping or anything that would trigger Battle Eye.. Unless of course Battle Eye just starts banning innocent players once a Bypass is found..

Considering your game has no guns, you could of really just invested 20 minutes into making a more authoritative server and not spent a bunch of money on a poorly made cheat detection software that bloats your servers and kills performance.

Aimbots are really the only useful cheat assuming your server side is up to snuff.

All that said - good luck and I hope this game is successful for you guys.

This makes me want to play this game real bad but I had to refund this piece of garbage by failcom because it just crashes.

bylam go fucking die in the seventh pit of hell you incompetent motherfucker

 

[ortucis]

All the bugs aside, I know why I really want to play this game (despite it being REALLY unfinished).

Remember the Gothic's Hashishin desert level? I loved them. The music and the atmosphere was similar to Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (Arabian nights). I want more of that in Conanverse. NPC's living in settlements, you exploring, adventuring, hitting people in the face with an axe. Fun times.

 

[Machocruz]

Damn this game is speaking to me. An outlet for my inner savage and will to power-through-domination in this modern castrated world. Needs a leaderboard with one of the categories being how much lamentation of the women you caused. I would surely try to top it.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

All the bugs aside, I know why I really want to play this game (despite it being REALLY unfinished).

Remember the Gothic's Hashishin desert level? I loved them. The music and the atmosphere was similar to Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (Arabian nights). I want more of that in Conanverse. NPC's living in settlements, you exploring, adventuring, hitting people in the face with an axe. Fun times.

You might want to have a look at Kenshi, another Early Access thing, but stable and playable so far.

 

[Immortal]

So hitboxes are not standardized capsules.. this person joined my server and was impossible to kill..