In Progress Decline 20: Dominions 5: Defenders of the Faith

[KoolNoodles]

Abysia for the love of Huitzilopochtli, bless your dudes. Or bring mages. It pains me.

 

[Dayyālu]

I now understand how Hitler felt about Italy.


Like, completely.

 

[Matalarata]

Italians on the eastern front wore only light summer blesses and lousy chi-shoes, to kick their own balls while awaiting death

 

[Dayyālu]

So, I kinda like this game. I am serious, it's one of the best Dominions matches I've had in a while. So, let's do a bit of recap if anyone other than us is checking the thread. Won't happen, but whatever.

10'000 hours in Paint.

Many borders in nations I have not infiltrated extensively will be wrong. I probably fucked up the UW borders and the Ulm\Abysia border, but whatever.

So, wars I know of:

SCELERIA\ABYSIA VS MICTLAN
Already fizzled into nothing as peace talks are ongoing.
SHINU VS MAN
This one is awesome. Man was almost dead but it's now bouncing back.
MACHAKA VS ATLANTIS
Ya'll saw the battle, who knows what's happening down there.
MARIGNON (AI) VS SHINU\ULM
AI cleanup.
ARCO (AI) VS PYTHIUM\STARSPAWNS
AI cleanup.

Well, for a game in the middle of turn 40 we're kinda healthy. Shitton of medium-sized nations (pretty much everyone) and not a single Big Scary Empire. Fuck, KoolNoodles , you are far smaller than I thought. Also, same for Starspawns.

Remember, 30 turns before Apocalypse.

ALSO WHY THE FUCK THERE IS A MACHAKAN FORT IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKIN NOWHERE

 

[Matalarata]

You are small and inconsequential and peaceful and somewhat similar in shape too...

Also you're a good comrade.

And you forgot one (1) Bandar Log's province!



edit: mistifications

edit 2: history won't be changed so easily!

 

[KoolNoodles]

I won't make excuses, but the Arco AI move kinda fucked me out of five-ish easy provinces(was right outside his cap when he went AI and promptly bought every merc etc.), and then of course was too slow to jump on TC(My "honorable" NAP adherence kinda messed me up there).

Really though, poor expansion and bad scale+bless choice for me. Not my best at all.

 

[mondblut]

not a single Big Scary Empire.

Say it a few more times and we will totally believe you.

Why isn't the rest of the world hammering on the huge violet blob? The very dark blue blob is pretty worrysome either...

 

[Dayyālu]

MA Mictlan seems to be the lesser of the Mictlans too. I mean, you gotta break into blood in any case, your sacreds are fine but only fine, and your troop line-up is the usual.

And you forgot one (1) Bandar Log's province!

I have pretty much gave to the Relevant Powers the smaller\AI provinces. Simplicity. Also, your message has been improved by the Scelerian Committee for Comfortable Representation.

That or Bogarussian hackers.

Say it a few more times and we will totally believe you.

Ys, you both have Thrones and provinces. You'd be surprised to realize that I have roughly only eight provinces more than you, and I'm not an UW power impossible to defeat in his own turf. About Ulm, I know very little.

 

[Matalarata]

But you can drown him in skeletons. Also:

Spoiler

 

[Dayyālu]

But you can drown him in skeletons.

Ys is pretty much custom-built to fuck up masses of chaff, and Poor Amphibians would not make good fighters. Furthermore, I don't share a border with them if they don't kill Abysia or Mictlan first (a job that would probably take them until lategame).

 

[Isiloon]

Patala has 1 fort left that's not worth cracking by the looks of it - didnt know Atlantis has so much ocean... owell - hey Yomi

my "1 province" is a result of Atlantis attacking me and now he's been temporarily repelled - so I'll be retaking some of me land back now kthx.

 

[sqeecoo]

Thanks Dayyalu, that's a very nice recap and I agree that th

Wait. Hold on, hold on. A post where Dayyalu is NOT whining and is actually happy?! Are you ok man? Drugs? Alcohol? What's going on?

Anyway, your map is correct as far as I know (except that Man owns an extra province on my border with him). You have, however, missed one of the great and enduring mysteries of this game, an anomaly in space-time that has made me question my sanity many times:

TWO INDY PROVINCES THAT HAVE BEEN UNCLAIMED SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME. It's here on your map:

Spoiler

Please, please, can someone explain? Squids? Fishmen?

And yeah, the cataclysm is coming too soon! This is a fun one. Though it's pretty clear who's in the lead

 

[Muty]

I haven't touched those as I didn't want to anger the squids any more than I did by gettting those 2 provinces in the beginning that caused a diplomatic row with them. I can happily claim them tho if no one wants them

 

[mondblut]

Say it a few more times and we will totally believe you.

Ys, you both have Thrones and provinces. You'd be surprised to realize that I have roughly only eight provinces more than you, and I'm not an UW power impossible to defeat in his own turf.

 

[KoolNoodles]

Woops.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

Wait. Hold on, hold on. A post where Dayyalu is NOT whining and is actually happy?! Are you ok man? Drugs? Alcohol? What's going on?

it's pretty clear who's in the lead

 

[KoolNoodles]

I should not have summoned 60 Sea Trolls. RIP economy.

 

[mondblut]

I wonder what does Mictlan need a huge underwater army for...

 

[Matalarata]

I wonder

Spoiler

 

[JagreenLern]

Sorry, I think I'm going to have to go AI. I haven't been feeling very well and I've been having a hard time keeping up with the game.

 

[Matalarata]

Sorry to hear that mate. You do what you must, don't worry and take care.

 

[mondblut]

Sheeit. It took four of us to keep AI Arco contained (but not yet destroyed). What would happen with AI squids largely invulnerable in their pond?

 

[Matalarata]

Fellow gentlemen, a friendly reminder that your most fabulous nation sells finely tailored and queerily decorated suits of rainbow armor (different choice of glittery decoration are available, like the newly trending "Cuckface" or old glories like "Sissy needs a Daddy"), embroidered amulets of antimagic (I WITHDRAW CONSENT. MAGIC IS RAPE) and colorful wyrm-sized carpets, cozy, warm and prone to spontaneous levitation.


Oh, and for those struggling with logistics, we have the full set of scuba gear at your disposal. Directly from the gayest beaches of Crete!

 

[sqeecoo]

Let's find a sub rather than have another AI!

 

[Dayyālu]

Ok. extending.

JagreenLern , don't send the turn in. If you know anyone who would like to play, get in.

Grif , despite stales Starspawns are in a nice position.