In Progress DECLINE 22: Primitive Proliferation

[Isiloon]

there could be an entertaining reality TV show set in world of dominions

"Just as things were looking great, frogs began raining from the sky and werewolves attacked your stock of virgins"

 

[sqeecoo]

"And then you were consumed by an Eater of Gods. The end."

 

[KoolNoodles]

A plan has been set in motion, Lion's enemies will pay one way or another, with a little help from Spider.

Spider venom comes in many forms. It can often take a long while to discover the full effects of the bite. Naturalists have pondered this for years: there are spiders whose bite can cause the place bitten to rot and to die, sometimes more than a year after it was bitten. As to why spiders do this, the answer is simple. It's because spiders think this is funny, and they don't want you ever to forget them.

 

[Dayyālu]

there could be an entertaining reality TV show set in world of dominions

"Just as things were looking great, frogs began raining from the sky and werewolves attacked your stock of virgins"

Eh.

Dominions won't be a great TV show, even if the setting is cool as fuck.

What I see in Dominions is the setting of every freakin' RPG. You know that in all the RPGs there was teh battle of teh Godz and the old ages and some madman built forts everywhere chock full of traps and skeletons or crazy doomsday golems or undead monsters that eat souls and ancient artifacts of untold power that claim he lives of adventurers

And Dominions gives you the reply: who the fuck built all that crap? A bunch of crazy Pretender Gods. I swear I'll put a Vine Shield+Frost Brand Golem in a TT campaign when I go insane one time or the other.

 

[Grimwulf]

A black raven is flying above Berytos, Dayyālu.

The Helhird is coming for you.

 

[Isiloon]

It's quite obvious Grimwulf is being hyper aggressive - he's less of a black raven and more of a vulture.

Nobody is safe from his evil empire

 

[Grimwulf]

At least I don't backstab my former allies like you do. How many NAPs did you break in this game? Three? Well, I haven't broken a single one.

I may be a black raven, but you are a harpy. Enjoy your safety while it lasts. Pangaea's final hour will come sooner than you think.

 

[sqeecoo]

A black raven is flying above Berytos, Dayyālu.

The Helhird is coming for you.

I've always really liked this line from Macbeth:

The raven himself is hoarse
That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan
Under my battlements.

 

[Dayyālu]

Oh, the humanity!

 

[KoolNoodles]

Oh, the humanity!

Welcome to the party pal.

 

[Infinitum]

Oh, the humanity and giants and demons and kangz and ancient entities from beneath the sea!

 

[sqeecoo]

And pigs. Lots and lots of pigs.

 

[Isiloon]

You broke over 9000 NaP's
...
I am drunk from drinking my own semen after being given 20 provinces for free from Xibalba

I did break a NaP with Fomoria, this was a mistake and happened because I offered a NaP and when he refused, I already set in motion plans to attack him - by the time he agreed, the wheels were set in motion.

The other 2 NaPs - no idea what you're talking about, I explicitly messaged both the other 2 players I attacked and told them the NaP is void, before attacking. You haven't attacked anyone Grimwulf because you've had the fortune of getting a free capital and twice the territory you should have got without fighting for it. Muty tilting and ejecting from this game resulted in you being in the strongest position with nobody really able to challenge you except everyone else combined.

Eating an AFK AI, then becoming the largest player and therefore not needing to really care about diplo/wars is nothing to brag about, vulture - if you win your victory will not be respected as a signal of your skill, but how dramatic the snowball effect is of eating AFK players.

I may be a VULTURE, but you are a harpy. Enjoy your safety while it lasts. Pangaea's final hour will come sooner than you think.

Good thing that even though we have a long NaP I am expecting betrayal anyway and I've prepared for earlier war from you and your suspected allies. Just waiting for the opportunity for you to disgrace Hel further by breaking NaP with your only near-peer after eating AFK to get a bit of an edge - so your ultimate victory is completely dishonorable and lacking prestige.

At least based on your battles with Machaka, I haven't seen anything really scary... even though I'm sure you're not going all out. So far your performance has been underwhelming, Fomoria is doing better than you are against Machaka with 1/5 the territory.

 

[mondblut]

This game seems to bring out the worst in people.

So much unlike Decline 20, where we are all a big and happy family waiting for horrors to come and break our toy thrones.

 

[Dayyālu]

Guys, sorreh, gotta extend this.

Mostly because I am on a workin' spree and I literally have no brain power left. I'll do the turn tomorrow.

Thanks and sorry again. it's a hard turn and I don't want to do a repeat of Dec20 "LUL SEND SKELLITON SPOOKY SCARY SKELLITON"

 

[Infinitum]

Was going to complain but eh that's life. Do what you gonna do.

EDIT: ..wait, tomorrow?

 

[Dayyālu]

Awww, thinking that I almost melted the entire main army of Marverni with two shitty Melqarts (seriously, F2B3 TWICE) and a bunch of militia. It saddens me.

The hilarity was heightened by Marverni's infantry killing themselves in their hundreds against Fire Shield.

Also, Starspawns, when you teleport drop two MindLords you try not to let them to be killed by a bunch of PD and random indies.

 

[KoolNoodles]

Well these turns don't lack for excitement!

Spoiler

News of a great predictable victory heartens all the soldiers back home, even though they are deserting due to lack of pay(sure would be nice if I knew WHAT units left. Archers who gives a shit, Lion Warriors omg no.).

Spoiler

 

[Infinitum]

two shitty Melqarts

Spoiler

"What, those guys? Hardly knew 'em. Don't think we ever spoke. They just had a very, very minor role in the military campaign overall. Pretty sure one of them lied about having an earth major on his resume. Very small roles. No idea who brought them aboard. I think I might've asked one of them to fetch me coffee once."

Spoiler

Yeah; I did not come prepared for that. Course, their randoms didn't matter that much in the end. Both spent most of the battle fatigued out under a discoball of cascades as the Ambivates slaughtered the rest of their army, which still didn't keep them from passively zapping at least threescore nobles and scaring off the rest. Eventually, a pair of earth elementals separated them enough so that the mages concentrated fire on the closest, allowing the other one to flee. The most butt-clenching moment in the battle happened shortly afterwards as the enthusiastic earthlings towed the unconscious one across half the battlefield into contact with my mageball, almost causing it to almost gift of heaven itself multiple times. Eventually he went under in a hail of mind burns.

Never did find out what happened to the one that got away. Rumor has it he returned to his castle to find it under siege by a particulary aggressive herd of pigs, whereupon he ate his fellow survivors and set off to walk the earth. Far as I'm concerned, thus ended his sad tale of bloated research budgets and betrayal most foul effective. Maybe we shall never know.

 

[mondblut]

 

[Dayyālu]

Yeah; I did not come prepared for that. Course, their randoms didn't matter that much in the end.

You are wrong on a dozen levels: their random matters a lot. F2B3 Melqarts (I have three) are the weakest of the bunch, with no worthwile self-buffing spells. E and A Melqarts would have floored your army with access to MistForm, Mirror Image and E buffs. Think that I melted hundreds of your nobles merely with Fire Shield. Sum that with the fact that Fomoria saved your skin by disabling Flight\Mass Flight (or you would have enjoyed flying SC chassis) and that my Incarnated Bless wasn't online all adds to a series of very lucky happenstances for you.

On the plan you would have gotten Melqarts jumping immediately on your undefended (lol, lamia bodyguards) mages and choppin' them all. I had to work with substandard material.

Also, the other Melqart died retreating. Shitty luck all around in this game, even without considering the chain of betrayals by Marverni, Starspawns, Mictlan and Helheim.

 

[Infinitum]

Well, that Fire Shield ended up costing me a lot more than an A or E would've managed in that particular battle under those particualr circumstances at least (pretty sure it stacked with the magic shield?). Slightly over a hundred dead nobles, the undercosted troll mercenaries who's contract was about to expire and.. not much else. Losing 1500 gold worth of units is quite a lot - especially when it's like a fraction of your total forces. I mean, it's not >2500 gold in mages alone and two kitted super combatants but yeah I generally try to shy away from battles costing me that much normally. Didn't expect to see Melquarts just yet (generally speaking; I did scout them beforehand, but I digress).

 

[KoolNoodles]

Comrades, I will be traveling March 30th until April 3rd or 4th. I'll need an extension or sub then, whichever works out. Same goes for Decline20.

 

[Isiloon]

"Game brings out worst in people" - this isn't overwatch or dota

FYI anything I say in this thread is part of public diplomacy and shouldn't be taken personally... I don't carry diplomacy of 1 game into other games... and the only thing I do cross-carry is that KoolNoodles and Grimwulf are probably the best most autistic players and will always play strong even when dealt a weak hand


I'm concerned that certain factions play up the threat I present, while Grimwulf is basically going unchallenged the entire game and will win the game at this rate, maybe before our NaP expires.

That Myrmecoleon is real menace, but real interesting seeing how you use him... pretty solid SC with some side-kick buffs.

KoolNoodles your turns look pretty daunting, but kudos for not going AI despite the very depressing turn report ... you're a stronger leader than Stalin who would have gone on vacation and chain-staled about now




Can we please see the battle reports for the Melqart shenanigans...

 

[Grimwulf]

Grimwulf stronk

Grimwulf will win

Grimwulf

Grimwulf

You want to talk? Let's talk.

Throne of Ice.

Spoiler

Claimed by Pangaea. 1 point.

Titan of Heaven Throne.

Spoiler

Surrounded by Pangaea from all sides. Will be claimed as soon as Isiloon finds his balls. 3 points.

Monolith Throne.

Spoiler

Surrounded by Pangaea from all sides. Will be claimed as Isiloon learns how to read and opens page 13 of the thread. 3 points.

Throne of Water.

Spoiler

Claimed by Lanka, vassal of Pangaea. Is free to be claimed by Pangaea at any point. 2 points.

Unknown, unclaimed Throne.

Spoiler

Resides on province owned by Fomoria, yet another vassal of Pangaea. Basically Pangaea's property. 1 point (trying to be optimistic here).

Let's count. 1+3+3+2+1 = 10 points. Wait...

Spoiler

Well, shit. It seems we have a victory already.

Let's see what you have to say about this.

Grimwulf is basically going unchallenged the entire game and will win the game at this rate, maybe before our NaP expires.

Awright! Our NAP expires at turn 45, I got 12 turns to win this game. Let's see what I got...

Throne of Winter.

Spoiler

Claimed by Helheim. 1 point.

Throne of Summer.

Spoiler

Might be claimed by Helheim, in case we manage to beat Machakan army. Otherwise will be claimed by Pangaea. 1 point.

Unclaimed Throne at Dampdale.

Spoiler

Will be taken from Berytos and claimed by Helheim. 1 point (was protected by shit PD).

Let's count. 1+1+1 = 3.

Grimwulf

Grimwulf

Grimwulf what? Will destroy every other nation? Will domkill everyone? What, WHAT??

HOW STUPID MUST A MAN BE IN ORDER TO BELIEVE YOUR BULLSHIT?!

Grimwulf superpower

For someone owning a harpy scouting network, you are very oblivious of things happening outside Helheim. Let me enlighten you.

Marverni is currently larger than both of your vassals combined.

Spoiler

Berytos war was a decisive victory for them. But they are nothing compared to the threat of Mictlan. Do you people even notice who claims which Thrones? Anybody?

Spoiler

Mictlan owning 30% discount on blood magic? Pffff, nothing to worry about. Right?

Right my ass. I'll take a long look at your suffering face when the aztecs throw Astral Corruption on it.

But even Mictlan is looking bleak compared to the growing R'lyeh influence. R'lyeh is currently larger than Helheim. Fun fact: Perpetual Storm doesn't hamper income in UW provinces. R'lyeh is not only the largest, but also most profitable nation gold-wise.

And still there is no clear canditate for victory, except you, Isiloon. You are trying to sneak an honorless Throne victory, avoiding any painful war whatsoever. Breaking NAPs, jumping on people without rhyme or reason, at the same time screaming anti-Helheim propaganda.

Sure, Helheim is large. And rich. And strong. Helheim is capable of inflicting extreme pain on whatever nation dares to attack us. And that's just what you need, right? Someone who can occupy Helheim while you are stealing a victory. Someone who can occupy the only nation capable of stopping you. That will not happen. I don't believe there is anyone stupid enough to buy your shit.

It's not too late to redeem yourself. Here is a public offer for you:

1. Both of us stop waging war upon Machaka. Let the Lion keep his Throne of Summer.
2. You release Fomoria and Lanka from their oaths.
3. We solve our quarrel between ourselves. You and me. Mano-o-mano. No gangbangs, and no one else to help you.

What say you?

P.S.:

Grimwulf is basically going unchallenged the entire game

Eating an AFK AI, then becoming the largest player

Just FYI, Xibalba attacked me before my expansion was over. And then he immidiately went AI. Engaged in extremely early war against my will, I found myself having nothing to break Xibalba walls. After going AI, Xibalba received crazy boost to gold, rec-points and resources. Ever tried to break walls with hundreds of fliers sitting inside them, while playing goddamn HELHEIM?

Muty's daring attack AND his decision to go AI is the sole reason why YOU ARE SO BIG. I had to give up on western expansion, letting you claim those lands uncontested. Be fucking grateful to Muty and stop this "unchallenged hurr-durr" nonsense.