Crooked Bee
(no longer) a wide-wandering bee
Tags: Divinity: Original Sin; Larian Studios
In times long past, we held a competition with the purpose of stuffing Larian's upcoming Divinity: Original Sin with Codex memes and generally all kinds of stupid - something we've been fighting for (and you've been donating for) ever since the beginning of the Kickstarter craze. We received many "excellent" submissions so it was "hard" for the Codex staff to pick the winners, but the day is finally here - I present you with the lucky winners, who will each get access to the game's alpha on Steam Early Access:
Congratulations to the winners! Angthoron should be in touch shortly with your key.
In times long past, we held a competition with the purpose of stuffing Larian's upcoming Divinity: Original Sin with Codex memes and generally all kinds of stupid - something we've been fighting for (and you've been donating for) ever since the beginning of the Kickstarter craze. We received many "excellent" submissions so it was "hard" for the Codex staff to pick the winners, but the day is finally here - I present you with the lucky winners, who will each get access to the game's alpha on Steam Early Access:
1. Message In A Bottle. Winner: oasis789.
"Dear Hero,
I know this message will surprise you. Please accept my quest. My name is SIR COMMANDER RHODE. I am the leader of (DRAGON SLAYERS LTD) located in Farglow town. I was betrayed by my subordinates and wrongfully imprisoned by the Aleroth guard and turned to stone by the wizard Bellagar. My condition is hopeless to survive. Nobody to summon for help. I am using my last magic to send you this message. I want you to take over my treasure in Farglow of $10,000,000.00 silver pieces and send a rescue expedition. I will offer you 12% for your commitment. Presently I cannot respond you, please contact my lieutenant Marius who direct and arrange release of the funds to you.
Yours faithfully, SIR COMMANDER RHODE, ESQ. Ph.D(Dragon Slaying)"
2. Name A Personal Pet. Winner: Azrael the Cat.
"Surely there's only one plausible suggestion for the Codex pet: Andyman Messiah.
Basically you get to 'buy' a horse incredibly cheaply - spare change for the player at that point of the game - as part of a quest reward. The horse is called Andy, and before you can even pay for him, the old geezer you were going to buy him from dies of a heart attack. You then get an option to try riding the horse, but it simply refuses to move while you're sitting on it. It also refuses to carry any of your inventory, but nonetheless follows you around and prods you to feed it. A few times later in the game you wake up to find that 'someone' has put all of Andy's gear on your back - i.e. his oats, spare horseshoes and sugarcubes are all tied to a sack around your neck; you look up and see Andy - if a horse could talk you'd swear he was saying 'yeah, let's see you carry someone else's shit, bitch. Now get down and give me a fucking piggyback into town.'
Also, in the first town you stop in after buying Andy, some beggar happens to be revealed as a fraud just as you're passing through, and to avoid punishment he points at Andy and claims that he must be some sort of mystical savior of a horse, to magically give him his 'missing' leg back. Word spreads, and every place you go you encounter an increasing number of followers of the cult of 'Andy the horse-man Messiah'."
3. Personal Dual Dialogue. Winner: Sitra Achara.
"Item A: Plank
Item B: Sturdy Rock
Combination: You place one end of the plank on the ground, and the other on the rock.
Upon building the above, your partner butts in:
Char 1: "What's that for?"
Char 2: "It is an Incline."
4. Message In The Woods. Winners: Lambchop19 and Bubbles (it's a tie).
"Fate Unlock Code: MMX2-GTF6-5555-1210-****
The last few digits appear to be scratched out. Looks like you'll have to search elsewhere..."
"Don't trust the wood carvers."
(We'll try to get both messages into the game but that's going to depend on Larian - as well as on how DU's gonna fill out the submission form. Yeah, I know.)
5. Name An Undead. Winner: Random.
"Phelot".
6. Name A Summon. Winner: Lambchop19.
"Andhaira - An imp of some sort. Should randomly spout discussion topics. "Meat vs potatos: which is better and why? Discuss!""
7. Design A Henchman. Winner: ERYFKRAD.
"Name: Theodore 'Boozebelt'
Henchman Type: Wizard+Club wielding maniac
Backstory: Once a promising student of magic, Theodore was kicked out by his tutor and banned from any further learning, after a very unstable experiment involving a sheep, garlic and a bottle of wine. Theodore now takes to the bottle to forget his frustrations, and when drinking won't do, he takes to clubbing people with utter enthusiasm. While capable of a few powerful spells, his near-permanent state of inebriation means that he'd to blow up the wrong target more often than not. On the other hand, he can club people very well."
8. Design An Item Combo. Winner: Koschey.
"Item A: Button
Item B: Awesome essence
Item C: Awesome button"
9. Design An Item. Winner: Coyote.
"The Codex of Pestilential Thought & The Grimoire of the Inconceivable (found together)
The Codex contains many pearls of wisdom. However, to read it is to risk descending into madness. Use (one-time): +1 to intelligence, -1 to perception.
The sub-header of this grimoire states "You don't even know what you don't know." It appears to be an unfinished work, and although you can sense something great residing within, you cannot access it. Use: None (for now)."
10. Design an NPC. Winner: Lady Error.
"Drog the Dragon - uses magic to disguise himself and appears as other creatures."
11. Mysterious Stranger. Winner: Sitra Achara.
"You meet a scruffy looking man in the Cyseal marketplace.
You introduce yourself, and when asked about himself, he replies, "Oh, let's just say I keep the place in check. Tidy it up".
When asked his name: "I'm no one important, really. I've learned to appreciate anonymity, and forgive me if I prefer to distance myself from any possible mishaps you adventurers can cause. Quite unpleasant to get involved, authorities knocking on your door in the middle of the night, and so on."
Asking about adventurers: "Forgive me if I generalize, but some of your lot are as crazy as they come. What I once thought quaint, well, over the years I've come to realize that about one in ten of your kind is downright dangerous. Lock up behind bars, paint the key blue and toss into the sea material."
He then probes you about your wishes for the journey ahead, what you'd like to see happen, or what you wished happened to particular characters you've met or locations you've visited. You subsequently meet him in various places throughout the land, and every time you answer, he simply nods and shuffles off into the horizon. His last word, just before vanishing, is always this:
'kay."
"Dear Hero,
I know this message will surprise you. Please accept my quest. My name is SIR COMMANDER RHODE. I am the leader of (DRAGON SLAYERS LTD) located in Farglow town. I was betrayed by my subordinates and wrongfully imprisoned by the Aleroth guard and turned to stone by the wizard Bellagar. My condition is hopeless to survive. Nobody to summon for help. I am using my last magic to send you this message. I want you to take over my treasure in Farglow of $10,000,000.00 silver pieces and send a rescue expedition. I will offer you 12% for your commitment. Presently I cannot respond you, please contact my lieutenant Marius who direct and arrange release of the funds to you.
Yours faithfully, SIR COMMANDER RHODE, ESQ. Ph.D(Dragon Slaying)"
2. Name A Personal Pet. Winner: Azrael the Cat.
"Surely there's only one plausible suggestion for the Codex pet: Andyman Messiah.
Basically you get to 'buy' a horse incredibly cheaply - spare change for the player at that point of the game - as part of a quest reward. The horse is called Andy, and before you can even pay for him, the old geezer you were going to buy him from dies of a heart attack. You then get an option to try riding the horse, but it simply refuses to move while you're sitting on it. It also refuses to carry any of your inventory, but nonetheless follows you around and prods you to feed it. A few times later in the game you wake up to find that 'someone' has put all of Andy's gear on your back - i.e. his oats, spare horseshoes and sugarcubes are all tied to a sack around your neck; you look up and see Andy - if a horse could talk you'd swear he was saying 'yeah, let's see you carry someone else's shit, bitch. Now get down and give me a fucking piggyback into town.'
Also, in the first town you stop in after buying Andy, some beggar happens to be revealed as a fraud just as you're passing through, and to avoid punishment he points at Andy and claims that he must be some sort of mystical savior of a horse, to magically give him his 'missing' leg back. Word spreads, and every place you go you encounter an increasing number of followers of the cult of 'Andy the horse-man Messiah'."
3. Personal Dual Dialogue. Winner: Sitra Achara.
"Item A: Plank
Item B: Sturdy Rock
Combination: You place one end of the plank on the ground, and the other on the rock.
Upon building the above, your partner butts in:
Char 1: "What's that for?"
Char 2: "It is an Incline."
4. Message In The Woods. Winners: Lambchop19 and Bubbles (it's a tie).
"Fate Unlock Code: MMX2-GTF6-5555-1210-****
The last few digits appear to be scratched out. Looks like you'll have to search elsewhere..."
"Don't trust the wood carvers."
(We'll try to get both messages into the game but that's going to depend on Larian - as well as on how DU's gonna fill out the submission form. Yeah, I know.)
5. Name An Undead. Winner: Random.
"Phelot".
6. Name A Summon. Winner: Lambchop19.
"Andhaira - An imp of some sort. Should randomly spout discussion topics. "Meat vs potatos: which is better and why? Discuss!""
7. Design A Henchman. Winner: ERYFKRAD.
"Name: Theodore 'Boozebelt'
Henchman Type: Wizard+Club wielding maniac
Backstory: Once a promising student of magic, Theodore was kicked out by his tutor and banned from any further learning, after a very unstable experiment involving a sheep, garlic and a bottle of wine. Theodore now takes to the bottle to forget his frustrations, and when drinking won't do, he takes to clubbing people with utter enthusiasm. While capable of a few powerful spells, his near-permanent state of inebriation means that he'd to blow up the wrong target more often than not. On the other hand, he can club people very well."
8. Design An Item Combo. Winner: Koschey.
"Item A: Button
Item B: Awesome essence
Item C: Awesome button"
9. Design An Item. Winner: Coyote.
"The Codex of Pestilential Thought & The Grimoire of the Inconceivable (found together)
The Codex contains many pearls of wisdom. However, to read it is to risk descending into madness. Use (one-time): +1 to intelligence, -1 to perception.
The sub-header of this grimoire states "You don't even know what you don't know." It appears to be an unfinished work, and although you can sense something great residing within, you cannot access it. Use: None (for now)."
10. Design an NPC. Winner: Lady Error.
"Drog the Dragon - uses magic to disguise himself and appears as other creatures."
11. Mysterious Stranger. Winner: Sitra Achara.
"You meet a scruffy looking man in the Cyseal marketplace.
You introduce yourself, and when asked about himself, he replies, "Oh, let's just say I keep the place in check. Tidy it up".
When asked his name: "I'm no one important, really. I've learned to appreciate anonymity, and forgive me if I prefer to distance myself from any possible mishaps you adventurers can cause. Quite unpleasant to get involved, authorities knocking on your door in the middle of the night, and so on."
Asking about adventurers: "Forgive me if I generalize, but some of your lot are as crazy as they come. What I once thought quaint, well, over the years I've come to realize that about one in ten of your kind is downright dangerous. Lock up behind bars, paint the key blue and toss into the sea material."
He then probes you about your wishes for the journey ahead, what you'd like to see happen, or what you wished happened to particular characters you've met or locations you've visited. You subsequently meet him in various places throughout the land, and every time you answer, he simply nods and shuffles off into the horizon. His last word, just before vanishing, is always this:
'kay."
Congratulations to the winners! Angthoron should be in touch shortly with your key.