circ
Arcane
Re: Dragon Age II Is Better than PS:T
SPOILERS AHEAD DOUCHEFAG
Except it pretty much is. Here's the simplified story: You're an ex-nobleman refugee, now on skid row. But no worries, soon you're nobleman-ish again. How you could possibly live a nobleman's life in Lothering I don't get, because it was a shithole, not unlike Kirkwall. Anyway, along the way you do a few dozen missions, that all play out the same in pretty much the same 3 dungeons. Only some exits are blocked off at 'random' and you sometimes enter through another entrance. Inventive. There are no consequences for anything. No, not really. Some missions are just there to influence your retarded groupmates. If that's your idea of consequence, then ok.
In between ex-noble and noble, you go by the Deep Roads to get money. Funnily enough, that moniez is just enough to cover your investment. This segment contains the only passable and coherent writing in the entire game. And then there's a betrayal.
Later, back on the surface... Seems some Qunari are camping in Kirkwall, your new hometown. Qunari now have horns and a different skintone. Before they were just big humans. I guess it's like old Klingons and new Klingons. Except Star Trek writers understand the difference between writing and eating twenty servings of jello. Now, Qunari are big on combat, so just sitting around, doing jack shit eventually boils over and they attack Kirkwall. Because they were bored. Yeah, pretty much. Because Gaider can't write.
But, because you're the hero-that-saves-us-all, you kick some Qunari ass. But oh shit, the Qunari killed the viscount, so now there's no one to mitigate the templar vs. mage shitstorm.
O shit.
Oh, in between bored Qunari attacking and something, your mom gets murdered. Or zombified. Whatever. It has no purpose in the story. Or so you think at first. This was after all a Toupee Gaider story, partially. No, you can't save your mother, whom you barely know. She has about three repeating conversation snippets, and very few cutscenes where she either cries or whines, usually both. That's mom. See, initially, during play testing, you could save your mother. But that was bad. Your mom is just there as a story motivator, so you think about who to side with when the real shit hits the fan; templars or mages. And your mom was killed by a mage. A deranged, psychotic mage, but a mage none the less. Wow, choices. Do I side with the batshit crazy, badly written, obviously hypocritical templars, or the mages that had nothing to do with my mom dying? Consequently, the templars are led by the queen of batshit crazy, and the primary antagonist. But mages killed your mother! Except, they didn't. That's first class writing if I've ever seen any.
Oh also, main antagonist went insane because of your earlier Deep Roads adventure. But it's not important, as there is no way to influence anything other than your groupmates whatever your class or playstyle. And influencing groupmates doesn't matter at all. Some might leave you if you're not their buddy, but yeah, doesn't matter.
Yeah, you're not the hero at all. You're just the Champion, because you saved the city from a bored Qunari, and who else to save the world, or Kirkwall. I say bored, but the Qunari badguy is a complex character. Well except he really isn't. He's just bored.
What politics? I saw no politics, just bad writing. The kind of writing that gets you an F in special ed class.
Smaller stakes? Don't you mean 3 repetitive dungeons? Consequences are personal? Did we play the same game?
Dude! Pick whatever gets you laid the fastest with whatever groupmate you're hot for!
I'd call a BioWare game something other than shit, if there was a shit scale, but why bother. Shit is shit, man.
SPOILERS AHEAD DOUCHEFAG
Retard said:
Except it pretty much is. Here's the simplified story: You're an ex-nobleman refugee, now on skid row. But no worries, soon you're nobleman-ish again. How you could possibly live a nobleman's life in Lothering I don't get, because it was a shithole, not unlike Kirkwall. Anyway, along the way you do a few dozen missions, that all play out the same in pretty much the same 3 dungeons. Only some exits are blocked off at 'random' and you sometimes enter through another entrance. Inventive. There are no consequences for anything. No, not really. Some missions are just there to influence your retarded groupmates. If that's your idea of consequence, then ok.
In between ex-noble and noble, you go by the Deep Roads to get money. Funnily enough, that moniez is just enough to cover your investment. This segment contains the only passable and coherent writing in the entire game. And then there's a betrayal.
Later, back on the surface... Seems some Qunari are camping in Kirkwall, your new hometown. Qunari now have horns and a different skintone. Before they were just big humans. I guess it's like old Klingons and new Klingons. Except Star Trek writers understand the difference between writing and eating twenty servings of jello. Now, Qunari are big on combat, so just sitting around, doing jack shit eventually boils over and they attack Kirkwall. Because they were bored. Yeah, pretty much. Because Gaider can't write.
But, because you're the hero-that-saves-us-all, you kick some Qunari ass. But oh shit, the Qunari killed the viscount, so now there's no one to mitigate the templar vs. mage shitstorm.
O shit.
Oh, in between bored Qunari attacking and something, your mom gets murdered. Or zombified. Whatever. It has no purpose in the story. Or so you think at first. This was after all a Toupee Gaider story, partially. No, you can't save your mother, whom you barely know. She has about three repeating conversation snippets, and very few cutscenes where she either cries or whines, usually both. That's mom. See, initially, during play testing, you could save your mother. But that was bad. Your mom is just there as a story motivator, so you think about who to side with when the real shit hits the fan; templars or mages. And your mom was killed by a mage. A deranged, psychotic mage, but a mage none the less. Wow, choices. Do I side with the batshit crazy, badly written, obviously hypocritical templars, or the mages that had nothing to do with my mom dying? Consequently, the templars are led by the queen of batshit crazy, and the primary antagonist. But mages killed your mother! Except, they didn't. That's first class writing if I've ever seen any.
Oh also, main antagonist went insane because of your earlier Deep Roads adventure. But it's not important, as there is no way to influence anything other than your groupmates whatever your class or playstyle. And influencing groupmates doesn't matter at all. Some might leave you if you're not their buddy, but yeah, doesn't matter.
Yeah, you're not the hero at all. You're just the Champion, because you saved the city from a bored Qunari, and who else to save the world, or Kirkwall. I say bored, but the Qunari badguy is a complex character. Well except he really isn't. He's just bored.
Retard said:
What politics? I saw no politics, just bad writing. The kind of writing that gets you an F in special ed class.
Retard said:
Smaller stakes? Don't you mean 3 repetitive dungeons? Consequences are personal? Did we play the same game?
Retard said:
Dude! Pick whatever gets you laid the fastest with whatever groupmate you're hot for!
Retard said:
I'd call a BioWare game something other than shit, if there was a shit scale, but why bother. Shit is shit, man.
