Faux Gothic: Let's play ArcaniA: Fall of Setarrif! (Done!!)

[Crooked Bee]

I want to be a Gothic! Let's play ArcaniA: Fall of Setarrif!

Welcome to this LP of the latest (2011) installment in the legendary Gothic series! Fall of Setarrif is a stand-alone add-on to ArcaniA aka Gothic 4. Will it live up to its name? We're about to see!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

What the hell would you need that for?

FAN ART!
Brought to you by Multiple Sarcasm

Gentle Sheep:

Willy Man:

Deux Ex Black Edition:

AND SO IT BEGINS!

From nowhere, smoky wisps of clouds began to form in the clear, moonlit sky. In a few short moments the sky was filled with dark, ominous clouds that completely blocked the moon's pale light.

Your bedroom was bathed in quiet darkness as you lay sleeping lightly.

But something roused you. Something... and then you fell into the darkness...

*loud thump*

Owww… why does my head hurt so much?
And this smell… why am I feeling dizzy all of a sudden?

Where am I FALLing to?

What have I done?

Why me?



The darkness gradually materalises into a form you suddenly recognise. The last time you saw such as this... That prior occasion marked the quest that forever changed the course of your life.

You stare as the light begins to diminish. And then another form appears...



NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not this again!

A sign from ArcaniA! It has to be.



Quest markers, timed strike helper, lack of difficulty... It could be nothing else.



They said it was Gothic, but they lied!!



They said I was a warrior...

(Scream)



I'm not blind. Keep running!

(Scream)



By myself?

Run, Terek. Run!

...



It's good to have you back. We need you here.

What happened?



The messenger was half-dead, muttering something about a demon and about Karella, daughter of Ethorn VI, asking for my help.

Your enemy's daughter, asking for your aid?



That one made me think.

Besides, my friends went to Setarrif to check what's become of my army.



They have become my friends as well. With your permission, I shall set out to Setarrif and look for them.





Roll is the new IDDQD.



I'm on a bridge.



They locked the gate behind me. I'm trapped.



Nowhere to go, nowhere to run to, nothing to follow but the quest marker. Bloody damn!



Wish I could fly. Wish I could be a dragon.

 

[lightbane]

Oh my pork!! It finally happened!! Miss Bee has lost it completely and now she has gone full retard!!! That, or she has some masochistic tendencies we never knew about... Until now.

At least will no longer have to play this... "thing" in order to write the review.

 

[RK47]

Wow. This game looks good. I mean...that starting armor...nice details and flaming sword! This isn't a level one warrior I'm looking at!

 

[Terpsichore]

Holy Jesus fucking Christ on a cross.

I want to bite your buttcheeks.

 

[Ulminati]

I can't help but notice you've already leveled up as the game starts.

 

[Havoc]

Shitstorm... it's coming.

 

[Ulminati]

Also, is the flaming sword standard issue or something you got from the ULTRA DELUXE COLLECTORS EDITION OF AWESOME?

 

[Reptilian Shapeshifter]

They need to make the exclamation point bigger and make it flash blue and red so that all the blind retards don't miss the obvious quest giver standing directly in their path.

You started the game:

Achievement unlocked!

+5000 XP

You have gained 5 levels!

 

[RK47]

Let's see...15 rolls of toilet papers, 5 bottles of liquid soap, a running man sign drawn with blue paint ....and a flaming cigar...you're set for an awesome adventure.

 

[Black Cat]

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

Apart from an ominous exclamation mark, it doesn't look particularly menacing, so far.
Might even turn out to be an okay game, right?

 

[pipka]

Exclamation mark! Kill that faggot.
If someone showed me his exclamation mark on the street, I'd smack the cunt on the spot.

 

[Crooked Bee]

That guy with the exclamation mark over his head... I couldn't avoid him.



I tried walking past him, but he basically forced me into conversation.

Even if I was retarded (and eh... um... I think I'm not?), I wouldn't be able to miss him.

Grand Master Ningal asked me to tell you something.

He is waiting for you in the south, in the wilderness. He is preparing a teleportation spell for you.

A teleportation spell? Why?

A lava stream completely cut us off from Setarrif last night.

Why didn't Ningal weave the spell in the fortress right away?

(So you could run through a linear tutorial area and kill some wolves, silly.)



(Yeah, sure. Those plans of his are probably too grand for puny humans to comprehend anyway.)

The best thing would be to ask him yourself.

(You mean, after running through a linear tutorial area and killing some wolves? )

What is there in the area of Thorniara?

Trees, bushes, grass and a few shabby farms south of here.

(I like how the game is being frank with us here regarding the quality of its content.)

Nothing of importance to your mission.

Blah blah... Hey Wilbrecht, prepare to die!



Invincible! I forgot this is but a poorly wrought illusion of the world of Gothic.



Just what dangers lie ahead of me beyond the bloom? What wolves, what rats, what lizards? Am I... prepared?



I am. So there was some good in going through that other, first faux-Gothic adventure, after all. Apparently I've been somehow... imported from that one.

But what's that? I hear... voices.

I want to bite your buttcheeks.

Huh? That cannot be. I must be hearing things.

...that starting armor...nice details and flaming sword! This isn't a level one warrior I'm looking at!

Indeed, stranger. I feel strong already. This is a heroic high-level campaign.



A blazing sword in my hand, an elite Paladin Shield in the other. Close helmet, heavy paladin armour crafter by king's master blacksmiths, a Golem Talisman said to have been carved from a golem's heart and providing health and stamina regeneration, Bracers of Mastery with three powerful magic runes imprinted on them, a Ring of the Paladin of the Innos Order...

At least they didn't make me a wimpy first-level adventuring weasel in this one.

Is the flaming sword standard issue or something you got from the ULTRA DELUXE COLLECTORS EDITION OF AWESOME?

It... is standard, I believe. I don't remember COLLECTING anything. And I don't really feel DELUXE inside this heavy set of armour. And there was certainly nothing AWESOME in how I ended up here.

I can't help but notice you've already leveled up as the game starts.

Yeah, man. Just look at that.



Hmm, I feel tougher now! Still 10 points left, and nothing worthwhile to invest them in. But hey, I can save them for later! For a time of danger! And hazard! And menace! Also, dongs.



Wolves! Now what did I tell you!

And demonic ones, to boot. They wouldn't dare pit my high-level self against ordinary wolves, after all.



What a paysage!



Hey, there are no invisible barriers and I can actually die by jumping into the sea? Impressive. This is true sandbox exploration.



A mysterious tower! I'm already pumped.



What countless floors of danger, traps and monsters await me inside this dark spire?



Oh, a chest.



And another one. That makes it... two chests! On two floors! Woohoo! So exciting.



More wolves to slay!



But what's this... a sheep?

I'm watching you... scum!



The sheep is starting to get on my nerves.



Wish I could kill it... but this is a magic djinn sheep, immune to all attacks.



Oooh, I'm hurt and the blood gets under the helm and over my eyes. So realistic.



Posessed mutant birds... and the same freakin' unkillable sheep.

Hey sucker, I’m still right beside you!



I see an exclamation mark, I follow it, life is easy.



Pesants! I wonder if I can join their faction. Or return the damn sheep at least.

What makes you think so?

(I mean, apart from the bloody royal armour I wear?)

I went to see the guards at the town gate and told them about the wolves... I hoped they'd send help.

Well, maybe I can help you. What kind of wolves?

(I'm totally not making fun of you or being a dumb hick, no.)

We have always had wolves here in the valley, but-...

In what way?

(Besides being named "demonic wolves" now, I mean.)

They used to steal a few chickens now and then, or a sheep, but now...

(A sheep? Now we're talking.)

They intruded into my house and almost killed my wife and the maidservant...

...and magically turned my wife into a sheep and I don't want you to ever return her to me...

...and their eyes...

I saw the wolves...

(Haha, so now you see I was just fucking around with you earlier, not being dumb or anything.)







Hell yeah!



The sheep is still by our side, though.

Er... no, it's not the sheep talking in the screenshot.

Still, you better not disturb me, pal.



So we just return the animal to the nearby flock. The sheep looks happy -- and even stops following us around! Swell.

So long, sucker!

No exp, but I guess getting rid of that sheep is a reward in itself.

What kind of excellent adventures await us next? I'm not sure I want to find out.

 

[Jaedar]

You are mad.

 

[lightbane]

I truly hope for you that the game is not too long, less something bad happens to you, we have too many loonies here already...

Also, grand master of darkness?? Seriously??

:D That sure is a smug sheep.

 

[Erebus]

Exclamation marks that are more visible than the people under them ? I'm taking it the game was targetting the 6-8 year old age group...

Seriously, what game was it that invented these exclamation marks, the quest compass and the rest ?

 

[lightbane]

Seriously, what game was it that invented these exclamation marks, the quest compass and the rest ?

The exclamation marks?? WoW, I think (although that cannot be called a game any longer).

The Magical Compass of Questing?? Oblivion duh.

To be fair, even before Oblivion there already were some games with these aids, but they were much more subtle. Also, I like the gigantic text size.

 

[Ulminati]

Exclamation marks were in warcraft 3 as well. Same company, but predates wow

 

[Brother None]

Haha, oh man, this is some seriously funny stuff.

 

[kazgar]

If only the text didn't distract from the full derp amazingness of that screenshot.

And hang on, this is the expansion, have you already played the full game and not told anyone?

Also, its only officially came out today/yesterday.

Hmmm

 

[Terpsichore]

What a graceful and reputable gentleman.

I feel really safe today.

 

[Erebus]

Exclamation marks were in warcraft 3 as well.

True, I remember that. But W3 was a strategy game and its RPG elements were only secondary, so making it extremely obvious who you need to talk to to receive a quest wasn't actually a bad idea.

 

[Kz3r0]

Seriously, what game was it that invented these exclamation marks, the quest compass and the rest ?

The exclamation marks?? WoW, I think (although that cannot be called a game any longer).

The Magical Compass of Questing?? Oblivion duh.

To be fair, even before Oblivion there already were some games with these aids, but they were much more subtle. Also, I like the gigantic text size.

 

[Brother None]

MGS's usage of exclamation marks was different, and awesome.

 

[Darth Roxor]

FUUUUUUYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA