monty python quotes by devs are directly proportional to final product quality.
Customer: Good Morning.
Developer: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the StarCrawler’s kickstarter!
Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.
Developer: What can I do for you, Sir?
Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, reading this article on RPGCodex by CrookedBee, and I suddenly came over all partisan.
Developer: Partisan, sir?
Customer: Engrossed.
Developer: Eh?
Customer: 'Ee, ah wor 'LOOKEE-loike!
Developer: Ah, interested!
Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a couple of classes will do the trick," so, I curtailed my interneting activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the kickstarting of some entertaining intellectual property!
Developer: Come again?
Customer: I want to back your game.
Developer: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the sci-fi genre!
Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Asimovean muse!
Developer: Sorry?
Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice sci-fi, 'yer forced too!
Developer: So we can go on developing, can we?
Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some classes please, my good man.
Developer: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?
Customer: Well, eh, how about a little medic.
Developer: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of medics, sir.
Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on space marines?
Developer: I'm afraid we never have that this early in the kickstarter, sir, we get it fresh during stretch goals.
Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, your best Decker, if you please.
Developer: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.
Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Geneticist?
Developer: Sorry, sir.
Customer: Alien Enforcer?
Developer: Normally, sir, yes. Today the developer’s van broke down.
Customer: Ah. Sniper?
Developer: Sorry.
Customer: Engineer? Scientist?
Developer: No.
Customer: Any Norweigan robots, per chance.
Developer: No.
Customer: Cyborgs?
Developer: No.
Customer: Nano-technologist?
Developer: No.
Customer: Space Commander?
Developer: No.
Customer: Alien brood mother?
Developer: No.
Customer: Spaceship pilot?
Developer: (pause) No.
Customer: Mathematician?
Developer: No.
Customer: Diplomat?
Developer: No.
Customer: Droid, sharpshooter, space merchant, technician?
Developer: No.
Customer: Soldier, perhaps?
Developer: Ah! We have Soldier, yessir.
Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.
Developer: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...
Customer: Oh, I like it runny.
Developer: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.
Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the soldier de la Belle France! Mmmwah!
Developer: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
Customer: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
Developer: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause)
Customer: What now?
Developer: The kickstarter's eaten it.
Customer: (pause) Has he.
Developer: She, sir.
Customer: (pause) Master Chief?
Developer: No.
Customer: R2D2?
Developer: No.
Customer: Jedi knights?
Developer: No.
Customer: You...do *have* some classes, don't you?
Developer: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a role-playing game, sir. We've got--
Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
Developer: Fair enough.
Customer: Uuuuuh, Juggernauts.
Developer: Yes?
Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!
Developer: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Juggernaut Games, that's our name.
Customer: (pause) Xenos?
Developer: Uh, not as such.
Customer: Uuh, Chaos Demons?
Developer: No.
Customer: Imperial Guards,
Developer: No.
Customer: Tyranids,
Developer: No.
Customer: Dark Eldaar,
Developer: No.
Customer: Zerg,
Developer: No.
Customer: Protoss,
Developer: No.
Customer: Mentats?
Developer: Not *today*, sir, no.
Customer: (pause) Aah, how about fighters?
Developer: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.
Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular class in the world!
Developer: Not 'round here, sir.
Customer: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular class 'round hyah?
Developer: Computer Hackers, sir.
Customer: IS it.
Developer: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.
Customer: Is it.
Developer: It's our number one best seller, sir!
Customer: I see. Uuh...computer hackers, eh?
Developer: Right, sir.
Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.
Developer: I'll have a look, sir........nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
Customer: It's not much of a game developer, is it?
Developer: Finest in the district!
Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
Developer: Well, we’ve never made a buggy game, sir!
Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by games....
Developer: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Mages, sir.
Customer: Would it be worth it?
Developer: Could be....
Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY SCI-FI MUSIC OFF!
Developer: Told you sir....
Customer: (slowly) Have you got any mages?
Developer: No.
Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:
Developer: Yessir?
Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any classes here at all.
Developer: Yes, sir.
Customer: Really?
(pause)
Developer: No. Not really, sir.
Customer: You haven't.
Developer: No sir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.
Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
Developer: Right-Oh, sir.
(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the Developer)
Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.