Seems that people really love to go all "AoW SM saved my marriage while AoW 2 killed my grandpa", they aren't that different. Though of course the bottom line is that SM is an improvement so go for 2 only if you want to play the campaigns.
Yeah, I hear what you're saying, and I think you're right that things do get a bit exaggerated. A lot of it is a "you had to be there" thing. I remember the sheer, crushing disappointment when AoW 2 came out. It lost so many things that made AoW great, and didn't really offer all that much in terms of improvements. IMHO AoW 2 was only a marginally better game than Civ 5 on release. AoW SM felt like a triumph (no pun intended) because it seemed like the devs really listened to the complaints of the community, and addressed so many issues, even petty ones. It wasn't until SM that AoW 2 felt like a worthy successor to the original.
Plus TWT had absolutely atrocious balance. Let's see if I can remember the issues. IIRC Tigrans, Archons, Draconians, and Elves were absurdly overpowered; Goblins, Frostlings, Halfliings, and Undead were absurdly underpowered, leaving Humans, Dwarves, Orcs, and Dark Elves as the only reasonably balanced races. While SM still had some balance issues, and still had the races arrayed in a way that's a big too rock-paper-scissors compared to the first and third games, it was a massive improvement in that regard.
So, yeah. You're right. A more balanced and less dramatic way of putting it would be to say that AoW 2 was a good-but-not-great game that was a disappointment relative to the quality of its predecessor but that was redeemed by its expansion pack.
AoW 3 with the 2 expansions became a decent game, but I'd definitely recommend trying it out before spending money.
Completely agree here. Well, I'd consider it better than decent. I've been playing AoW since the demo in 98, and I have to say that right now AoW 3 is my favourite in the series, and possibly my favourite fantasy TBS of all time. But like I said, there's a lot of other people who disagree with me on this point, so I'd say definitely do your research before buying it.