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Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
11,300
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
Angels of the Lord have now blessed the faithful again by triggering auto-mining pods to clear a path through the fungus barring the way to Morgan Happy Worm Ranch.

Figured as much, I swear the SMAC RNG has some kind of grudge against me. Well, let's see how long Happy Worm Ranch can stay Happy.
 

pizza_microwave

Liturgist
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
166
Location
the Hanging Rat
[…] The new craze that has essentially ravaged Gaian youth culture these last few years, a culture that is light years ahead of us because it is the first generation born on Chiron, is a funny and peculiar one: today’s kid have the firm belief that the alien civilization before us is one we should not look up to. Whatever happened to them — planetary exodus, mass genocide, or simply vanished out of thin air, the way they treated the planet gives no confidence, from mass pollution to unnecessary terraforming, people are horrified at these dead gargantuans and have went as far as attempting to blow up the various monoliths in the country without any results. It has been long said that the soundwaves coming from the monoliths aren’t good for Gaians or humanity in general and some even see it as brainwashing.

As a way to fight against the humming beasts, many young teens have taken up an interesting technique that has helped against the horrible psychological effects; a technique that helps even the most elderly to survive one more day near the Stones. In 2118 people living in settlements within the monolith's radius started reuniting every 5th night near the it, recording its sounds and mixing it with audio engineering in rhythmically familiar patterns that have shown to decrease the power of the artifacts on our brains. It’s as if we are taking this arcane bellowing that tries to scare us and we distortion it, turning it into a clown, making it instead a tune to which we would gladly dance and mock it.

-Gaian Musicology. MY 2220, Kalib PYOTRSON, Hachette Edition.



Footage taken seconds before the attack. The Gaianic ritual at its apex, Gaian footsteps giving power to Chiron. Cut shortly before the attack, it will remain a tragedy in Gaian hearts and souls, on Chiron's lush green forests and deepest trenches.

GSCoaIp.png


"A man given trust, a man given an opportunity, a man given the Key.
And this man has failed the test, for he cares about nothing except profit, he cares about nothing except greed. A man ready to eat himself up for the sake of power. A man that has pitted the Believers against us when Myriam and I fight for a shared cause. That man is Morgan, and yes I call him a man because we are much more than that, we are the direct evolution of Man, we have transcended the need of petty and childish urges, our bodies are nothing but impulse machines that act as a valve to our deeper understanding of the Universe. Yesterday night Morgan showed us he didn't evolve alongside us, and that will be his downfall — no amount of economical power will stop natural selection from happening."

Lady Deidre's speech was cuttingly short, to the point, and powerful. The silent cities armed themselves yet again, the distant units patches themselves up and shared a drink with their past enemies. Soon this will all be over.

*TLDR*
Just learned how OP Morgan can become late-game, damn that shit sucks.​
 

Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
11,300
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
MORGAN INDUSTRIES PRESS RELEASE

"The absolutely fabricated false flag operation of Lady Deidre and declaration of hostilities will be met with decisive and if necessary military action. It a pity that our trading partners turn on us in such a treacherous manner while the belligerent lunatic Miriam Godwinson has not been dealt with. Do they expect religious fanatics will let their pagan sex cult to exist once there is no one near to deal with them?"

Janior 3.0 huh, worked so well for the previous 2 janiors - two and three games ago :roll:

Also worrying about late game Morgan :lol:, like Morgan ever survives mid-game to get there in a state where he is stronger than anyone else. We had maybe one case which was last game, of late game Morgan being a problem, but honestly if I wasn't fighting a 3-sided war with Uni and worms also trying to ass-rape me (and land drowning) it wouldn't be that much a problem then.

Better look into how attack modifiers work and how this makes Believers with their zeal multiplier into the best conquest faction in the game, especially when playing against them as the only faction with negative morale. Now that's a not just late game monster, but also a mid-game one, all you need is to survive until you can pop boom. Hell, early on she can also be deadly but that is luck-based, she's not SPARTAAA or Zakharov that can easily tech to early guns before the other guy knows what is happening.
 
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civac2

Novice
Joined
Jan 22, 2022
Messages
33
In the name of the staff of the University of Planet I would like to congratulate the Believers for obtaining the tech lead. Sister Miriam and her followers are an inspiration to all of us who cherish uncovering the secrets of the universe through rational inquiry.
 

Utfärd

Guest


In the seven years since the Gaians were first discovered, Captain Dariusz Junior had seen countless of his brothers get burnt and butchered, mind-raped into drooling wrecks and turned into rotting mind worm hatcheries. Suffice it to say; he hated Gaia with perfect hatred. And now, for some reason, the word had come from the Heavenly Diocese to stand down, cease fire and let the enemy leave in peace. He could barely believe it.

"The orders from Zarephath Horeb check out sir", a younger officer said with a shrug. "Sister Miriam has performed a long-range exorcism. Deirdre is cleansed, her non-mutated people are our kindred and we are to receive the data transfer as instructed."

"Kurwa!" he burst out instinctively, drawing disapproving looks. Although not strictly prohibited, foul language was still considered blasphemous and would incur punitive lashes regardless of rank. He couldn't care less. It wouldn't be the first time. "Well, get on it with it then. The Lord wills it."

"Yes sir! Data transfer initiated... Receiving......"

While the Brother-Librarians worked, Junior wondered if the Lord had intervened to help resolve the struggle down south. Despite early victories, the Morgans had been quick to match the faithful in terms of tech and manpower, fielding lasers and jamming communications. Sensor arrays and corporate militias guarded the way across Planetneck, stubbornly refusing them access to Morgania proper.

"Uh, sir-"

Alarms went off and Brother-Librarians and Scribes burst into action, struggling to maintain control of their mainframes.

"Is it a cyber-attack?" Junior snapped, assuming treachery.

"Negative sir! it's just... Our equipment, it can barely cope. Critical network overload! The transfer just continues!"

Until now, Believing scientific inquiry had primarily focused on prototyping offensive lasers and perfecting the Plasma Accretion process. By contrast, the flood of technical blueprints and studies in advanced bio-genetics, industrial economics and sociological phenomena out-scaled the Believing data by over three hundred per cent.

"How on Planet could they have accumulated so much data?"

"Sir, there's more, a message from the Gaian commander. Pulling it up on the main screen."

lol.gif

"............kurwaaa", Junior repeated and shook his head. The Lord sure worked in mysterious ways. Reflecting upon the events, he truly was blessed to live in such a time of miracles. Once properly harnessed, these bountiful blessing would give them more than parity in the Holy War. Frankly, he couldn't imagine a greater miracle, aside, of course, from the Lord God parting the seas and simply letting them march across-

"SIR! Emergency message from sector 102:52 - it's Sergeant Thorium's squad!"

lol.png


Power-of-RNGsus.png




RNGsus cheers man! :lol::salute:
 

Rassy

Novice
Joined
Jan 19, 2021
Messages
7
Great stuff as always, guys. Came back to this place for the one-year on general access, but this is still totally where it's at. This one's shaping up well. Good luck not sinking the world and whatnot.

Utfard, would you mind telling me about your avatar? I'm a big fan of medium-res video game gals with sensible hair sexuality. Thanks.
 

Utfärd

Guest
Cheers, it's a Jagged Alliance 2 avatar for the I.M.P. custom mercenary character. Definitely my favourite of the lot.

Also I actually did laugh just like Tom Cruise for well over a minute when I popped that pod. What a turn! Of course, raised land from pods is a common occurrence but in this particular case the coincidence is just too great. There's no doubt about it - RNGsus is real!
 

civac2

Novice
Joined
Jan 22, 2022
Messages
33


Campus weather schedule for today

There will be light rain over the Campus gardens between 7:73 and 8:17. Bring an umbrella if you wish to visit the gardens at that time. Enjoy perfect weather for studying with clear skies and a light breeze from the sea from 9:81! The Institute for Agriculture and the Experimental Plants Facility can experience water sprays related to rain squalls over the North Perelman Harvest Community between 13:07 and 14:11.

If you wish to make a weather request contact your local campus council. Note that agricultural sheduling takes precedence for the time being.

Perelman Refuge Campus info matrix, retrieved 23037485:2126


dS6owkB.jpg
 

oldbonebrown

Arcane
Joined
Jun 2, 2017
Messages
841
Location
TELAH
U.N. Mission Broadcast

This is the U.N. Peacekeeping Forces broadcasting the latest updates on the Unity Mission

Contact has been established between U.N. Headquarters and Gaia's Stepdaughters as well as the Lord's Believers and negotiations initiated

Mission proceeding as planned - the Uniting of Humanity is On Track!


*This message is being broadcasted by using the ship computers and antenna from UNS Unity wreckage to amplify signals. Though we have yet to establish direct contact with several factions it is actually the case that we have been picking up information broadcasts entered into Datalinks for several years from all the Planetfallen factions aside from The Hive.
Efforts to contact Chairman Yang has by water has been thwarted by the worms of the sea. Anyone with contact information to the Chairman please contact U.N. Headquarters.
We have uploaded our database of broadcasts into ship computers and set the antenna to broadcast any message entered into the Datalinks. The data stream can be accessed by entering this address into your datalinks navigator*

On the recent news of war on the eastern continent Commissioner Pravin commented that this only stresses the need for a global council to establish order between the factions, and that the Peacekeeping Forces were not ready to take sides in any conflict before the voice of global democracy had been heard.
 
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Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
11,300
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
FY026 02/03 09:51 MCT (Morgan Corporate Time) MORGAN NEWS NETWORK

Finally
The Hydrazine And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Sharp Injection
Brain Inspection
Pulsing Anger
Mutant Rancor

Burn!

Pour The Gas
Light The Match, Burn!

Pour The Gas
Light The Match, Burn!


Pour The Gas
Light The Match, Burn!


Pour The Gas
Light The Match, Burn!


Pour The Gas
Light The Match, Burn!


Pour The Gas
Light The Match, Burn!


Pour The Gas
Light The Match, Burn!


Pour The Gas
Light The Match, Burn!


DETH Filled Streets
Killed With Tusks
Once Held Life
Now Lie Husks!


“Burn Planet” - written and composed by the Fetus Eaters, published and copyright by Morgan Meltdown Records.

***

Here at Morgan HydraPowered, Planet’s largest hypergolics producer*, we care about the fuel we sell to our customers.

You may have heard many things from many different people about Hydrazine. That it is very nasty and toxic stuff you don’t want to breathe in. That it can nausea, shortness of breath, pulmonary edema, headache, dizziness, central nervous system depression, lethargy, temporary blindness, seizures, coma and cancer. That the flames are invisible and you will not even see that something is burning, while the hypergolic properties of the fuel make it very likely it will start burning as soon as containment is breached even at room temperatures.

If you heard these kinds of tales or other tales about Hydrazine we have just one simple message to you, because we care, all of this is true so...

hp5U2XZ.png


HydraPowered TurboZine Hydrazine is a 100% high-octane** raw horsepower for your vehicle, this kind of potent source of sexual energy introduced into your hydrazine-powered vehicle will intimidate the weak and ball-less on the roads and offroad, regardless if they are sissies, women, mindworms or Miriam’s zealots.

So pour that hydrazine in, don’t mind the fumes and push the pedal to the metal, hear the engine roar and the yellow-bellies quiver in fear. HydraPowered TurboZine is not just a fuel, no, it is raw power and masculinity that will assert your dominance on the roads and in the fields through ultimate sexual intimidation***.

*source: Morgan HydraPowered hypergolics market assesment FY22
**legal disclaimer: octane numbers do not apply to this type of non-petrochemical product
***legal disclamer: do not use HydraPowered TurboZine as aid in sexual acts.


And now for a special message from Morgan HydraPowered regarding how it and other Morgan Industries subsidiaries implement Corporate Social Responsibility.

Oti26u7.jpg


Making sure our business provides value added to society is as much of a goal for us as it is to increase our revenue. We care for an environment that is safe, friendly and best suited to support the coming generations of Morganican and Planet's consumers.

Therefore together with our partners from Ares Arsenal we would like to show you our gift to society...

kFRcod7.png


The Hellfire Hydrazine Flamethrower delivers invisible burning liberation removing threats to our freedom and the morganican dream in the most cost-efficient way available on the market with hydrazine fire. They can’t see it, but they can feel it!

Available for purchase now! We offer special militia discounts and B2B sales contracts to PMCs pushing back the zealot tide! The Hellfire Hydrazine Flamethrower, it burns for Social Responsibility, it burns for FREEDOM!

***

The siege of Morgan Happy Worm Ranch has been broken as the religious lunatics scatter and flee following the counter-offensive of the Castratikron PMCs armed with Hellfire flamethrowers.

Indeed the churchnuts have never seen it coming until they burned alive in compliance with Morgan Industries Corporate Security Policy. Eyewitnesses describe the result as extra crispy.

Staff and customers alike are advised by Police Corp to be on the lookout for signs of saboteurs skulking about.

Indeed one was found just today and regarding its fate all we can say is...

F6IwAHp.png


...probe team compromised.

Good night and good luck in enjoying Morganican Freedom and our Morganican Dream, as we burn a path towards peace. This has been MNN delivering around the clock news.

The TURN was 26, I ordered some dead church nuts at the Meltdown Metal Cafe.

TAJCTcK.png


QPLXvUr.png


dc8f4cc01c03ee628dc8a50bd9b543d1a741c508164225df6db3e03eaf8717ab.jpg


And I like those nuts roasted and well done. Changing resonance lazors into flamethrowers in the mod inspired me, after I ripped the idea of hydrazine powered rovers from Red Mars I realized I can further link it to my new weapons for LARP.

Seriously I don’t see how that would ever fly IRL, shit is one of the most vile chemicals ever synthesised by man, needs hazmat suits, but apparently chinese sell hydrazine hydrate on alibaba r00fles. OTOH this is the kind of bad but doesn’t matter if profitable idea that fits the freedumb capitalism of Morgan Industries.

Anyway back to the actual game progress - finally could get some guns to the frontline and pay back. Miriam made a number of attempts to siege Morgan Happy Worm Ranch, but in general there were too many defenders inside every time Believers got close.

There was also some maneuvering done before that to trap enemy forces:

0R8nrIT.png


Shockingly it didn’t kill them both on defence. :decline: Still went one for one and the rover is slowly limping back. Hopefully it will get eaten by wild worms when trying to cross the fungal barrier.

Also killed a probe team that no doubt wanted to do infiltration but screenshot captor didn’t catch it in time (why does it even have a delay?). That part was fairly hard to pull off and relied on combat succeeding but that worked. That’s 3 rows of minerals lost for the churchnuts and prevention of data leaks, must hurt.

Furthermore the same tech grants plasmasteel which bolstered my defense.

QloMLST.png


A pity it lost the other fight, but oh well, one less attacker and the other guy is effectively useless. With luck wild worms kill him in fungus.

Getting the prototypes required some... sacrifices, but sometimes this is unavoidable and money is no good to me when dead. Something something Keynes long run dead something.

The RNG of course screwed me over with the land bridge, reminding me I should stop playing PBEM and stockpile my bunker or something. So very likely all my effort will go in vain, meanwhile I can’t even trade with anyone to make my position better because only Gayans and Churchnuts have my comm frequency and both hate my guts apparently while I dindu nuthin’.
 
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Utfärd

Guest
Powerful attack, well done! I saw the prestige former but I assumed it was doing scouting. The field units don't matter much but my probe team man! Not cool. I was debating sacrificing one of my prestige formers to rush a road and infiltrate but I decided against it. Now I kind of regret it. Most frustrating part: if certain deals had been finalised sooner I'd have gotten the probe out earlier and secured the infiltration I wanted. Disgusting turn under the suns.

You did slip up by posting the unedited picture and before you could change it RNGsus made sure I was the first to check your delicious LARP post.

yes.png


What's this now? Full map and energy credit status??



Hohoho.png


lolz.gif
 

Andnjord

Arcane
Joined
Aug 22, 2012
Messages
3,027
Location
The Eye of Terror
f you heard these kinds of tales or other tales about Hydrazine we have just one simple message to you, because we care, all of this is true so...

hp5U2XZ.png


HydraPowered TurboZine Hydrazine is a 100% high-octane** raw horsepower for your vehicle, this kind of potent source of sexual energy introduced into your hydrazine-powered vehicle will intimidate the weak and ball-less on the roads and offroad, regardless if they are sissies, women, mindworms or Miriam’s zealots.

So pour that hydrazine in, don’t mind the fumes and push the pedal to the metal, hear the engine roar and the yellow-bellies quiver in fear. HydraPowered TurboZine is not just a fuel, no, it is raw power and masculinity that will assert your dominance on the roads and in the fields through ultimate sexual intimidation***.
You guys are killing me, MOAR!!!
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 

Togukawa

Savant
Patron
Joined
Jul 27, 2016
Messages
309
Thank you, Cognito Elite Club, you prestigious monocled bastards! You've had me in stitches multiple times already. I eagerly await the unfolding of the ITZ!
 

Utfärd

Guest


Kingdom of Heaven Alpha Node Online
Prophetic Gospel Temple of Truth Dispatch
Broadcast initialized...
Reading file "3-7-2132_A.D._Holy_War_Breakthrough.dexpost"


yee1.png


"Woe to the bloody city! It is all full of lies and rapine; the prey departeth not. The noise of the psych-whip, and the noise of the rattling of rover wheels, and tracks of APCs, and bounding worms, the lasgunners charging, and the flashing plasma sword, and the glittering shock-spear, and a multitude of slain, and a great heap of corpses, and there is no end of the bodies; they stumble upon their bodies;— because of the multitude of their whoredoms!"

"Behold, I am against thee, saith Yahweh of hosts, and I will uncover thy skirts upon thy face; and I will show the factions thy nakedness, and I will cast abominable filth upon thee, and make thee vile, and it shall come to pass, that all who look upon thee shall recoil, and cry out, Morgania is laid waste: who will bemoan her?"

— Paraphrase of Nahum 3:1-7, Conclave Bible Enhanced Edition


******* ******* ******* ******* ******* ******* *******

Faithful rejoice!
The depraved forces of the anti-Christ have been dealt a heavy blow following an all-out assault by Believing and Gaian troops in the region most blasphemously styled "Mount Rand" - presumably named after the 20th century demon whose true name was Alisa Zinovyevna Rosenbaum. The massive attack came after continuous fighting in the extreme north of Morgan's territory, previously inaccessible but majestically delivered before us by the Holy Miracle of the Second Parting of the Seas.


ye.png


Praise be! As our forces advance, let us not forget the brave sacrifices of our Gaian brothers and sisters fighting side by side with the Faithful to cleanse Planet of the corporate despoilers. Not only did they help smash the enemy's "Free Market" system like a pagan altar of yesteryear, they also helped secure ultimate victory upon the field of battle. In particular, the as of now properly understood wholesome herding of the Lord God's holy boils of Nachash proved instrumental in frustrating the enemy's efforts.


yee3.png


yee2.png

Plasma-armoured Temple Guardians patrolling "Mount Rand"

Following the destruction of the enemy's northern army came the first holy conquest on Planet. Truly no base could be more worthy of de-Morganization than their vaunted "Rand Resort", where suitist hedonists busily spent their time on frivolous pursuits as their grunt guards fought in the field. Nothing of value could be salvaged from the base due to the intensity of the fighting, though it is debatable whether anything of value was lost in the first place. Heavenly Sword High Command expects several more Morganoid bases to fall in the year to come. The Lord fights for New Zion and supreme victory is assured!


yeh.png


Greater still is news from the southern frontier where an ambitious crusader charge wiped out the much-hated Morganoid mobile scanner. For years, the accursed unit salvaged from the U.N.S. Unity had been utilised to pinpoint the location of our brothers. It was directly to blame for the loss of thousands of our brethren.


anhero.png


Although the crusaders taking out the vile thing are now exposed to enemy formations and may indeed become martyrs, the commander of the crusading chapter pictured above expressed nothing but righteous joy and defiance in face of the adversary! What an inspiration to us all.

Finally, a friendly and encouraging message to all our crusading brothers out there:


truefacts.gif

*Sisters pictured above may or may not reflect the physical characteristics of the average program participants

The ladies of New Zion support and admire your noble efforts one hundred per cent from their kitchens and work units. They also happen to now outnumber men by a ratio of 7 to 1 - good news for unwed brothers in good standing! Rest assured, all who prove themselves worthy in the Holy Crusade can be sure to receive pure and loving wives once the war is won so as to be fruitful and multiply in fulfilment of the prophecy that the Seed of the Promise shall be as numerous as the stars of heaven. Reminder: service records determine eligibility! Join the Blessed Bride program NOW! For the LORD!


In other news:

Generous donations to the Relief Fund for Widows and Orphans of Holy Martyrs by Sparta and the Peacekeepers
We are the happiest faction on Planet! Masses cheer as lab funding is cut by 100% in favour of spiritual pursuits
Treaties of limited trade and strategic cooperation signed with Peacekeepers and Spartan Federation
New laser plasma foils launched on expeditions to locate Yang and Zakharov

Massive win this turn, couldn't have done it without pizza or heavenly blessings from pods. Yeah, better Believe it, as I was invading across the sea I struck a cartographic pod showing the location of all Morganic and Gaian units. It's amazing really how RNGesus continues to bless the Believers! :lol:

I also have Doctrine: Flexibility and Hellraiser doesn't, I check every turn to see if someone's made contact or if he's gotten probes/transports. I've been very concerned about this because when I attacked him in the Uni-Peacekeeping war that ended up losing us both the game due to other factions sending him aid to ultimately rape me into pieces (only for him to get back-stabbed by said factions). That's why I've been pushing like crazy to attack as fast as possible.

The fact I have APCs and probes while he doesn't is a huge advantage, not to mention his lack of support, my +2 support and attack bonus. Oh yeah, I switched to Green and Fundamentalist so my units can't be bribed. I was very paranoid about that considering Hellraiser had good Morganoid income, now not so much since pizza's worms forced him off market this turn. This massive combination of advantages is what I figured would help me win and it seems like it will, but who knows - turn will tell.
 

Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
11,300
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
Not worth the effort to continue this after seeing TURN 34, horrible frustrating experience and I have better things to do than scrounge up an extra turn or two of being a nuisance to the invaders.

Even lazors in the night didn't piss me off this much as getting janiored for the 3rd time, the RNG clusterfuck including losing combat to random worms and of course the unity pod landbridge. On the upside the starting location was good for a change, first time since the University game, well apart from the neighbors that is.

Maybe someone turns the continent into nucular swiss cheese later on, whoever goes for that has my moral support and may the Kurgan be with them.

Pizza giving away High Energy Chemistry (which I researched and gave him a turn before he posted his false flag BS) and Doctrine: Flexibility (and probably other shit, Miriam tech lead WTF) is what fucked me in the end though.

If they only had one of these techs and not the other I could have at least stalemated this for a long time if not outright go on the offensive against the Believers. Not much I can do to infantry with that zeal bonus that gets carried with APCs on combat terraforming roads from outside my vision range. I don't have perimeter defense tech, and even if I had it I doubt I could afford to build them in time, so with 3 attack vs 3 defense and superior support believers are at a slight advantage.

There's just one thing I should have in hindsight done at least as soon as the Gaian betrayal happened for a more optimal strategy, but honestly I doubt it would change the outcome much and I played best I could given what I knew and what I could do.

TROYTRON original Gaian plan was to use the believers as a meatshield against the Spartans, tricking them into a coalition. Not sure if he knew where you were earlier and lied or if the two of them were plotting against you from the start or what. All I know is that if one really wanted to keep you contained, it would be in their interest to keep me alive so that I would be constantly paranoid about Spartans in the west across the pond and I would take the brunt of any Spartan eastward military expedition.

iKzZDg3.png


IhDAlea.png


Have fun with this knowledge I guess.
 
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oldbonebrown

Arcane
Joined
Jun 2, 2017
Messages
841
Location
TELAH
Urgent U.N. Broadcast on Morgan Industries
XZGgddV.jpg


Under the U.N. Guidelines for information transparency in SOS situations, the U.N. Peacekeeping Leadership want to urge the good CEO Morgan to assist mankind's common quest on Chiron and reveal the Planet Exploration Data of Morgan Industries in a Broadcast


I have already abused this thread with using it as a broadcast channel to share information, and no one has put up a serious complaint so far - I already went there, and it passed. Hellraiser dox your map if you agree.

**The U.N. Peacekeeping Forces leadership has refrained from commenting on the internal politics of the eastern landmass. Wars between distant factions is an issue outside of the immediate U.N. mission, until the voice of global democracy has been heard in the Planetary Council**
 
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TROYTRON

Learned
Joined
Jun 6, 2020
Messages
42
SPARTAN BROADCASTING SERVICE – PLANET NEWS

Continuing to dominate headlines across Planet is the ongoing Believers-Gaian invasion of Morgan Industries. While it was briefly hoped by freedom-loving Spartans that the forces of market freedom would continue to hold out, recent reports of breakthroughs at Morgan Rand Resort and Morgan Happy Worm Ranch indicate that the war has entered a terminal stage, with full capitulation of Morgan expected to occur very shortly.

At a press conference this morning, Spartan General Staff spokeswoman CPT Valentina Kovalevskaya addressed criticisms that the Spartan Federation had not done enough to protect freedom on Planet.

EYGsAnb.png


“Regardless of our personal feelings on the matter, it is simply strategic and military sense that Sparta would choose to back what is the obvious winning side of this ending conflict. Military conflict is the method through which all ideologies are kept in touch with reality: if Morgan Industries could not stand up for itself in spite of all its supposed wealth, then it deserved to die, much as corporate capitalism did on Old Earth.”

CPT Kovalevskaya went on to announce that the Spartan General Staff would consider admitting an “undisclosed number” of refugees from the conflict, with the caveat that all “transport and associated costs” would need to be paid by the refugees themselves. This was an “unfortunately necessary cost-saving measure” in light of recent investigations into Spartan military overspending on exploratory rovers instead of citizen amenities, the spokeswoman said.

Coming up next on SBS Planet News, a special report on the mysterious faction calling itself Gaia’s Stepdaughters. Is it “the bold face of anti-capitalism on Planet” as it claims, or a mere catspaw for its patron the Lord’s Believers? But first, in local news:

Details of top-secret high-level diplomatic meetings between Spartan High Command and the United Nations leadership were leaked to the press this morning, showing signs of possible brewing tensions over U.N. proposals to settle colonists in the Demilitarized Zone. According to the transcript, the U.N. ambassador presented the proposal as a way to “deepen diplomatic and scientific ties between the two factions”, leading the Spartan diplomats present to decry it as a “blatantly transparent attempt at creeping annexation and borderization”. The Spartan High Command could not be reached for comment on this story.

A group of second lieutenants have been officially charged with gross negligence, after the recent loss of an irreplaceable Unity-grade agri-bot to native wildlife led to massive setbacks in Sparta’s ongoing settlement programs on the Far Western Front. According to enlistees testifying before the court-martial who shall remain anonymous, the second lieutenants “suffered from a severe case of third degree butterbar syndrome”, which led to Agri-Bot Bravo’s assigned escort becoming lost in a fungal patch after 2LT Alashine Macintosh misread the map. It remains unclear whether the remaining Agri-Bot Alpha will be able to pick up the slack.

Spartan scientists continue to complain of excessive bureaucratic oversight preventing key data from colonial expeditions being passed up to headquarters, stifling innovation deemed crucial to enabling the Federation to catch up with the University of Planet and its “Weather Paradigm”, known to exist from Planet-wide radio broadcasts. In response, COL Corazon Santiago has formally pledged to “bring an end to inefficient communist practices in Sparta” and implement market reforms within the next five mission years. It is expected that this will more than double Sparta’s fiscal and scientific outputs, though several lieutenant colonels have cautioned that “excessive liberties” could impede the ability of the Spartan Military Police to maintain order.

The release of Climbing Morning Light Mountain: The Beginnings of Incline last month saw record numbers at the box office, with thousands of Spartan citizens and enlistees flocking to commissaries for a chance to win tickets in a wide range of martial contests. The gripping documentary by first-time director CPT Francis Marshall seeks to explore the ideological foundations of the Spartan Federation, with the film including a plethora of newly declassified footage of those crucial early years on Planet.

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While deep and profound, the film has a rough and humourous underside to it as well, with Spartan mountaineers commenting sarcastically about how COL Santiago’s iconic speech declaring “It is only fitting that our first steps towards Incline should involve literally climbing a mountain”, “sounded a lot better back at the base”. “We wanted to explore not only the high-level ideological themes of our Federation’s origins, but also how these were felt and experienced by the ground-level foot soldiers of the time,” CPT Marshall said in an opening night interview with SBS Planet News.

Man this 4K monitor really fucks up the scaling whenever I do image editing. I can never tell what's an acceptable number of pixels anymore.

And yeah, that's right, can't sanction the holy beauty that is the former Prosecutor General of Crimea. :positive:
 
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